"Your skin, like gravity, is pulling every part of me. I fall, you and I collide. What if I stay forever? What if there's no goodbye? Frozen for a moment here in time. If you tell me the sky is falling, I'll say that the stars collide. The only thing that matters in my life is you and I tonight." –You And I Tonight, Faber Drive

--

They were back to where they were before. No certain commitments, just two people in love. But this time, it's because he let the opportunity slip away. She was so ready to say yes, but it was him who said no.

Now, she's changed her mind again. Kahit si manang, naiiling na lang din.

Jae continued to work, so did he. Magkasama pa rin sila sa isang bahay. Sila pa rin namang dalawa, but there's no guarantee na magpapakasal pa ito sa kanya.

"Ano 'yan?" tanong niya isang araw. May dumating na namang balikbayan box galing sa states. Just last week, may padalang groceries ang mommy ni Jae. Punong-puno na nga ang ref at cupboards nila dahil bukod sa mga padala ng mga ito ay naggo-grocery pa sila.

"Padala ni dad," sagot nito sa kanya.

Daddy naman pala nito ang may padala. Ever since Jae got pregnant, mas naging maalalahanin ang parents nito. Linggo-linggo halos na may padala.

Jae told him the news about two months ago. Delayed na raw ito ng ilang linggo. She did a pregnancy test before going to the doctor to confirm. He wasn't really surprised when he heard the news. He was expecting it. Hoping, actually.

Because if marriage couldn't tie her with him, maybe a baby can. It was a long shot but he took the risk anyway.

In good terms na siya with Jae's parents. He guessed that he had already proven himself to them. So when they told them the news, they were actually glad about it. But like Jae, they were also not pushing the marriage. Contrary with his parents naman, na gustong-gusto na silang makasal ni Jae.

The package contains baby food na tatagal pa for the next three years before they expire. May ilan ding damit na pambata, which would probably fit kapag six months old na ang baby, at kung lalaki ito.

"Hindi pa nga sinisilang ang baby natin, ini-spoil na kaagad nila."

That made her laugh. "Well, you know how they are. They'll always feel guilty kahit ilang beses ko na silang pinatawad."

Yumakap siya rito. "Jae, can the baby use my name?"

"Of course."

He kissed her cheek. "Can you use my name?"

He heard her sigh. Humarap ito sa kanya at hinawakan siya sa tigkabilang pisngi.

"Toby, must you ruin the moment for me?"

Bigla syang nalungkot. So hindi pa rin pala? Mag-iisang taon na rin simula noong bumalik ito galing states. Akala nya, after a few months ay magbabago na ulit ang isip nito.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Please don't look so sad." She kissed him. "I love you."

--

Toby and Jae were invited to a barbecue party. Simula nang makasal ang mga kabarkada ni Toby, bihira nang magkita-kita ang mga ito. She would see Gale occasionally, but there wasn't much of a gathering among the five.

Mahigit tatlong taon na ang kambal nina Kent at Jazz. Kina Gale naman ay pitong buwan na. Femi's already 5 months. She, almost three months.

Everything is good and well between all of them. The past was already put away, binabalikan na lamang kung kailangang alalahanin.

When Gale invited them, she readily agreed. She thought it would get Toby's mind off of marriage. He had been hinting it ever since and though she said she didn't want to, that didn't really stop him from trying.

Bandang alas kwatro ng hapon sila pumunta sa bahay nina Gale at Rico. The sun was low in the sky. Hindi na masyadong mainit. Things were already set up when they got there. Naglalaro ang kambal sa isang tabi habang nakabantay si Jazz. Gale was showing her baby around. Femi was sitting down, sipping juice. Kent, JT and Rico were already barbecuing. They each have beers on their hands.

"Jae! Toby!"

Ipinahawak ni Gale ang anak nito sa katulong saka sila sinalubong. Yumakap ito sa kanya, welcoming her like an old friend. Pinatigil naman ni Jazz ang mga anak sa paglalaro para salubungin sila.

"Say hello to ninong!" sabi nito sa kambal.

Toby smiled and squatted. Ginulo nito ang buhok ni Kendrick, the older twin. Then he let Ilia, the other twin, kiss him on the cheek. Nagpakalong pa ito.

"You're late!" salubong naman ni Rico. Kasunod nito si Kent na kinuha ang anak nitong lalaki at saka bumalik sa ihawan.

"Loi!" JT gave her a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Thanks."

"Nagsusuka ka pa rin ba sa umaga?" tanong sa kanya ni Femi.

"Minsan," sagot niya. "How's your baby?"

"He's well fed. Which explains why I'm bloated," Femi answered with a grunt.

JT hugged her from behind and kissed her cheek. "You're not bloated."

"Guys, barbeque's ready!" Kent announced.

They all helped in setting the table. She sat next to Jazz while Gale and Femi sat across them.

"Here's your piece!"

Kent put a paper plate with a huge chunk of barbacued meat in front of Jazz.

"Ang dami naman!" reklamo nito.

"Kulang pa sa 'yo 'yan," giit ni Kent.

They all laughed when Jazz scowled at him.

"Hey, Rica smells like barbecue," puna ni Rico. Inaamoy-amoy nito ang anak na kinuha nito mula sa mag-aalaga ng bata.

"It's because of me. Nausukan kasi ako kanina," Gale told him. "Ipapasok mo na."

Rico nodded and gave the child back to the sitter. Saka ito kumuha ng pagkain.

Toby finally went back with a plate of assorted grilled meats.

"Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng gusto mong kainin kaya kumuha na lang ako ng lahat."

She smiled at him. "Thanks. Where's your plate?"

Kumunot ang noo nito. "Ubos mo ba lahat 'yan?"

Tumango siya.

"Sigurado ka?"

"Oo nga. Kumuha ka na rin ng iyo."

"Okay."

--

Masayang nagkwentuhan ang mga ito. Sya naman ay nakuntento na lang sa pakikinig. She will only speak when asked. They have been together for a while now and she's not exactly a stranger to them, but somehow she feels that way.

Parang nakikipagpakiramdaman pa rin siya sa kanila, especially with Jazz. Although the latter seemed to be trying her best to be pleasant with her, iba pa rin sa pakiramdam.

"Who wants dessert?" Gale asked.

The guys raised their hands immediately.

"Jae, can you help me bring the pie out?" nakangiting tanong sa kanya ni Gale.

Tumango naman siya agad. "Sure."

"Kumusta naman kayo?" tanong nito sa kanya nang makapasok sila sa kusina.

"Okay naman."

"Any plans of settling down?"

Kung hindi lang sila naging close ni Gale nitong mga nakaraang taon, she would probably gat angry with the question. Parang tuwing magkikita na lamang sila ay palagi siyang tinatanong nito kung may balak pa ba siyang magpakasal.

But just like before, she would just smile and shake her head.

"I see," malungkot nitong sabi. "Hindi ka pa rin pala nya nakukumbinsi."

"I just don't want things to change. Masaya na kasi kami e," paliwanag nya.

"Of course." Ngumiti ito at kinuha ang apple pie na para sa dessert nila. Then she took out a knife to slice it. "Pero kasi, the way I would have imagined it, si Toby ang unang magkakapamilya sa 'ming lima. Siya kasi yung gustong-gustong magkapamilya e. And I bet he'd do it very well, considering how loving and responsible he is."

"Gale, are you trying to make me feel guilty again?"

Gale laughed. "Why? Is it working?"

Naiiling na lamang siyang kumuha ng mga platito at tinidor. Paglabas nila, bidang-bida ang mga kambal nina Jazz at Kent. She almost felt jealous when he saw how close and happy Toby and Jazz were. Hawak ng mga ito ang kambal na tuwang-tuwa namang tumatalon mula sa mga kandungan nila.

Kendrick could easily pass as Toby's son, kung hindi lang titingnan ng malapitan. They almost looked like a family...

Nabaling lang ang atensyon ng mga ito sa kanila nang biglang tumuro sa kanila si Ilia. Ilia looked like a carbon-copy of Jazz. Pero ang mata nito, kay Kent. Same with Kendrick.

She put the plates on the table and resumed her seat next to Toby. Ito naman ay ibinalik na si Kendrick kay Kent. He was smiling from ear to ear. He looked so happy.

Naalala niya ang sinabi ni Gale kanina. Toby was surely the marrying kind. Ano kaya ang nararamdaman nito ngayong kasama nito ang mga kaibigan na naikasal na at may mga anak na habang ito, hindi pa rin niya masagot-sagot ng oo?

--

It was already nine in the evening when they got home. Jae was awfully quiet again. Nagwo-worry siya na baka masama na naman ang loob nito. Pero tuwing tatanungin naman niya kung ano iyon, ngingiti lamang ito sa kanya at iiling.

Nang makahiga na sila ay agad itong lumapit sa kanya at yumakap.

"Ang saya kanina," sabi nito sa kanya.

"Oo nga e."

"We should have a barbecue party too. Tapos i-invite din natin sila," she suggested.

"Sure. Kelan mo gusto?"

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "Not too soon siguro."

"Okay."

"Toby?"

"Hm?"

"Do you still want to—" Bigla itong umiling. "Never mind."

"What? Do I still want to what?" kunot-noo niyang tanong.

"Wala." Ngumiti ito at hinalikan siya sa labi. "Good night."