"You got to give her some faith - hold her tight. A little tenderness - gotta treat her right. She will be there for you, takin' good care of you." --Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman, Bryan Adams

--

It was Toby's idea to not have them sleep in the same room. So ever since they got back from his parents' house, magkahiwalay na sila ng tinutulugan. She knew that it must be done but there are some nights that she just wants to have his arms wrapped around her.

Nothing lewd, anyway. Just to have him there, right next to her. Being around him gives her a happy feeling. So one night, as he was saying goodnight, she tugged at his hand.

"Bakit?" takang-tanong nito.

"Dito ka na matulog," sagot niya.

"Jae, alam mong hindi pwede."

"Matutulog lang naman tayo, Toby. I just want to have you around when I sleep."

He sighed. "The last time that happened, you got pregnant," he pointed out.

"Well, look on the bright side. You can't get me pregnant while I'm still pregnant," nakangisi niyang sabi rito.

Ginulo nito ang buhok nya. "Pasaway ka."

"I'm just saying that there's nothing to worry about."

Hinila niya itong muli papasok ng kwarto. This time, he didn't resist. Agad siyang yumakap dito nang makahiga silang dalawa.

"How was work? Hindi ka ba nahihirapan?" tanong nito sa kanya.

She shook her head. "It's fairly easy. Madalas nga lang akong magutom kaya pababa-baba ako."

"Ibibili na lang kita ng snacks bukas. Huwag mong ipamamahingi a."

Tumango siya. "Thanks."

He kissed the top of her head. "Anything for the both of you," he said. He then leaned down and kissed her on the lips. And just like the last time, there goes the burn and then the goosebumps. Butterflies started fluttering again.

Toby's not even that of an expert in kissing. But the feelings that go with his kiss, she could just get lost in them.

And it felt like he was getting lost in them too.

It wasn't until they are both out of breath that he finally stopped.

"Ikaw kasi," sumbat nito sa kanya.

"Bakit? Wala naman akong ginagawa a!"

"Wala ka pa ngang ginagawa, nagkakaganito na 'ko."

Bigla syang namula. "Pahalik-halik ka pa kasi, di mo naman pala kayang kontrolin ang sarili mo."

"E kasi..."

"Ano na naman?"

He kissed her again. "Your lips are so red, Jae."

"Lasing ka ba?"

He chuckled and carressed her face. "You better turn around."

She frowned. "Why?"

"So that I won't be tempted to kiss you again."

Sumunod naman sya agad. When she was facing the other side, yumakap naman ito mula sa likuran at hinalikan ulit sya sa pisngi.

"Goodnight, Jae."

--

When she woke up the next day, he was already up. Nagluluto na ito ng agahan.

"Morning!"

"Morning."

Inilapag nito ang plato ng sinangag sa lamesa.

"Kain ka na."

Tumango siya at naghilamos. Tapos ay saka siya naupo para kumain. May timplado nang decaf sa tabi ng plato niya. Nakahanda na rin ang kutsara't tinidor. Sya na lang ang kulang.

"You're spoiling me," she commented.

Naupo ito sa tabi niya at kumuha ng sarili nitong pagkain.

"Sabi mo, kapag nag-asawa ka, dapat prinsesang-prinsesa ka, di ba?"

"Asawa na ba kita?" natatawa nyang tanong.

Nagkibit-balikat lang ito. "Hindi pa. Pero malay mo..."

She fell silent for a while.

"Toby, I don't think I want to get married."

Tumigil ito sa pagkain. "Bakit naman?"

"Natatakot lang ako."

"Na matulad ka sa parents mo? Di ba sabi mo hindi ka nila katulad?"

She shook her head. "Yeah, I did say that. Pero unconsciously, I think there's a huge chance that I'll end up like them."

"We won't end up like them, Jae."

"We?"

"Oo. Bakit, may iba ka pang gustong maging asawa?"

Truth is, she didn't want anyone. Kung hindi rin lang si Toby ang mapapangasawa nya, then she won't get married. But she can't say that she will still feel like that after a few years. Paano kung magbago ang feelings niya para rito? Paano kung magbago ito?

People do change. At first, her parents were so in love with each other. Then, they fell apart. And now, they're broken. After all, nothing's permanent in this world but change. And their relationship will change. Entering marriage is like entering a room without an exit door. Nakakulong ka na lang sa loob, not unless you get annulment or divorce, which is not only expensive but also traumatic for the children.

Maybe it's best if they just stay this way.

Co-existing in peace...

"Wala na," sagot niya sa tanong nito. "Pero ayoko munang ikasal ngayon. I don't you to marry me just because you feel responsible."

"If I will marry you, it's only because of one reason, Jae. It's because I love you."

--

Toby was so distracted from work. Earlier, maaga syang gumising to prepare breakfast for lunch. Plano sana niyang mag-propose dito pag-uwi nila sa bahay. He wanted to marry her not because they were having a child.

Gusto nya lang. Maybe kapag kasal na sila, lulubayan na ito ng mga magulang nito. After all, she's old enough to get married without her parents' consent.

But what she said at breakfast made him realize that he was about to make a big mistake. Clearly, she's still not ready. And his intentions are wrong. Siguro nga, kung magpapakasal sila agad, baka magaya rin sila sa mga magulang ni Jae.

Siguro nga kailangan niyang maghintay pa ng kaunting panahon, pero hanggang kailan?

--

He cancelled his reservations for their dinner. Nang sunduin nya ito kinagabihan, dumiretso na lang sila sa bahay. Ipinagluto nya ito ng hapunan habang nanunuod ito ng TV.

"Turuan mo kaya akong magluto," sabi nito nang naghahain siya.

"Bakit? Marunong naman akong magluto e."

"I know. But I'm the woman. I should be the one cooking, not you."

He smiled at her. "But you're the princess. I should be the one serving you, not the other way around."

Okay. That was cheesy. Kahit kay Jazz, hindi siya naging ganoon ka-cheesy. But seeing Jae smile like that, parang kahit maging sobrang korni nya, okay lang. Maybe that's why they call people in love insane. Because they really are.

Kapag talaga hindi mo nararanasan for yourself, hindi mo maiintindihan ang pakiramdam. He used to wonder why Gale and Rico couldn't stay apart for long. Magkasama na ang dalawa buong maghapon, magkachat, magkatawagan at magkatext pa kapag gabi.

Jazz and Kent are the same. Parang hindi nagkikita ang mga ito sa bahay. But now that he's with Jae, he finally understood.

It's like he's caught up in a moment, and he wants that moment to stay still, for time to stop, for it to not end. He wanted to capture her smile and put in on repeat, because it makes him happy.

Nagulat siya ng bigla nitong hilahin ang upuan nito palapit sa kanya. She cupped his face and gave him kisses. Three, to be exact. Binilang niya.

Saka siya nito niyakap.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" tanong nito sa kanya.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Kasi gusto kong gawin ng paulit-ulit."

"You loved me back, Jae. That's what you did to deserve me."