"I'll be your shelter. I'll be your storm. I'll make you shiver. I'll keep you warm. Whatever weather, baby, I'm yours. Be your forever, be your fling, baby, I will be your everything." --Be Your Everything, Boys Like Girls

--

"B-Buntis ka?"

At first, he thought she was just joking. Akala pa nga niya, sinabi lang iyon ni Jae because he dared her. But she looked so serious. Siguro naman ay hindi nito iyon sasabihin just to prove that he would leave her for something she said or did?

When she nodded, pakiramdam niya'y tinakasan ng kulay ang mukha niya.

"And you're the father. Don't ask me if I'm mistaken because I'm sure. You're my first and I only did it with you."

"Alam ko," sagot niya nang makabawi. "Y-You're my first too."

He was a bit ashamed to admit it. He would have done it with Jazz back then but of course, he could not have taken her by force. And she could not have given it to him willingly.

"I won't ask you to take responsibility, Toby. I won't ask you to marry me because it would be a mistake. I don't want us to end up like my parents."

What she's asking is just impossible. Aminado siyang hindi pa siya handang magkaanak. Magpapatayo pa siya ng bahay para sa nanay niya. Plano pa niyang mag-ipon para makabili ng kotse. But he couldn't just turn his back on her.

"Dalawa tayong bumuo nyan, Jae. Responsable rin ako."

"I don't want to drag you down."

"You won't drag me down." Kinuha nya ang kamay nito. "Let me father my child."

"P-Pero--"

"I won't marry you. Not when we're both not ready for it. But I will take care of you."

And he intends to.

--

Para syang nabunutan ng malaking tinik sa lalamunan. Akala talaga ni Jae ay tatanggi si Toby. She will get hurt, sure, but she was expecting it. But she should have known better. Kilala niya si Toby. Responsable ito and maybe he just sees the baby as another responsibility... but it's better than nothing.

"Sasabihin mo ba sa parents mo?" tanong nito sa kanya.

She shook her head. "I don't know."

Hindi niya alam kung paano tatanggapin ng parents niya ang nangyari.

"Ako, sasabihin ko kina nanay."

That made her worry. "Baka magalit sila."

"Kung magagalit man sila, baka sa 'kin lang," he assured her.

And so he convinced her to come with him to his tell his family about the baby. He helped her pack a few set of clothes. Baka hindi raw ito makapasok ng Monday,  depende kung ano ang mangyayari.

--

Tuwang-tuwa ang nanay niya nang makitang kasama niya si Jae. Nagluto pa ito ng maraming pagkain. They couldn't bear to break the news over lunch so they waited until the dishes were washed and his sisters were enjoying the noontime show on  TV.

They pulled his parents aside.

"May sasabihin kami, nay, tay."

Nakalipas ang limang minuto nang puro kabadong buntong-hininga lang ang lumalabas sa mga bibig nila. Parang nakaramdam ang nanay niya sa gusto nilang sabihin.

His mother gasped.

"A-Anak... hindi ba masyado pang maaga?"

"Masyado naman yata kayong nagmamadali?" dagdag ng tatay niya na mukhang nakatunog na rin.

"Napag-uaapan na po namin kung ano ang gagawin. Gusto lang po naming sabihin sa inyo."

Nagkatinginan ang nanay at tatay niya.

"Kung ganoon ay basbas na lamang namin ang kulang?"

Napakunot ang noo ni Jae.

"Basbas po?"

"Oo. Sa kasal ninyo."

"Ikakasal na kayo, hindi ba?"

Todo-iling silang dalawa.

"Hindi po! Buntis pa lang po si Jae pero wala pa po kaming planong magpakasal," he blurted out.

At natigilan silang lahat sa sinabi nya.

"Buntis ka, hija?!"

"O-Opo."

Sinamaan siya ng tingin ng tatay niya. Tapos ay sumenyas ito sa kanya. Tumayo ito at naglakad palayo.

Jae caught his hand before he got up. She gave him a pleading look.

"Babalik din ako agad."

He didn't want to leave Jae alone, but he certainly didn't want it more to have a one on one, man to man talk with his father. But he had to.

He joined his father on one corner of the backyard. Nagpapaypay ito sa ilalim ng lilong ng punong santol.

"Tay..."

His father grunted. Naupo sya sa tabi nito.

"Anak..." Bumuntong-hininga ito bago magpatuloy. "Kaya mo na ba?"

"Po?"

"Kaya mo na bang bumuhay ng sarili mong pamilya?" Tumingin ito sa gawi ni Jae na noon ay umiiyak habang nagsasalita ang nanay niya. "Hindi naman sa galit ako, ano? Dismayado lang."

Napayuko siya sa hiya. Bilang unico hijo ng pamilya, sobrang taas ng expectations ng mga magulang niya sa kanya. Mas mataas pa sa inaasahan ng mga ito mula sa ate niya. That's the reason why he did so well in school. So that his parents could brag about his achievements. Hindi nakatapos ng kolehiyo ang tatay niya so it's a big deal for him to see his son graduate with flying colors.

And now, he had disappointed his father.

"Sorry, 'tay."

Tinapik siya nito sa balikat. "Wala na tayong magagawa. Nandyan na 'yan."

--

His parents made them stay at the house for the night. Panay ang payo ng nanay ni Toby kay Jae para sa pagbubuntis niya. Kanina ay hindi niya napigilang umiyak nang kausapin siya ng nanay nito.

It's not because his mother was angry. It's the fact that she apologized to her because of what happened. As if it happened just because of Toby. Na para bang wala syang kasalanan.

If she was to tell her parents about this, they would have blamed her for everything, every sickening little detail would be her fault. Na dahil sa katigasan ng ulo niya ang lahat. She should have listened to them instead.

With Toby's parents, it's different.  Kapag may problema, imbes na magsisihan, naghahanap ang mga ito ng solusyon.

She wished her parents could be like that.

When it was time to go to bed, Toby led her to his room.

"Dito ka na matulog."

"Ikaw, san ka?"

"Sa sala," sagot nito.

"Hindi pwedeng dito?"

Napangiti ito sa tanong niya. Ginulo nito ang buhok niya and then he kissed the top of her messy head.

"Hindi pwede e."

Sumimangot siya. "May baby na tayo't lahat, bawal pa ring matulog ng magkatabi?"

"It's a big deal here. Sorry. " He smiled apologetically. "I'll just give you a hug."

Yumakap ito sa kanya.

"And a kiss."

He leaned down to kiss her. It was supposed to be just a goodnight peck but the moment their lips touch, it's like firecrackers exploded. Her insides turned into mush when he pulled her closer to deepen the kiss.

They were both getting lost in it and she didn't have any desire to stop it. But lucky for her, Toby's got a better grip on reality.

He was the first one to pull away. But he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted more. She could see the burning desire in his eyes.

He looked away, embarrassed. He scratched the back of his neck, his face flushed right up to the tip of his ears.

"I-I should..."

"Y-Yeah."

Yumuko ulit ito at hinalikan siya sa pisngi.

"Goodnight, Jae."

Naiwan siyang nakatayo sa tapat ng sarado nang pinto, pulang-pulang ang mukha at nanginginig pa rin ang mga tuhod.

--

The next morning, the house was in a lighter atmosphere. Masaya silang nagsalo-salo ng agahan kahit na ba ang dami niyang request na mahirap hanapin.

After eating, inaya siya ni Toby na magsimba kasama ang buong pamilya nito. His older sister lives just nearby kaya naman pati ang pamilya nito ay kasama.

Jazz's parents also went with them. It was evident that the two families were very close. Alam naman nyang halos buong baranggay nila ang gusto ng magkatuluyan ang dalawa. She can't compete with that. And for a moment, she felt like the second option all over again.

But during the peace-giving, nagulat siyang may ilang matatandang babae ang lumingon  sa gawi niya at ngumiti. Sila rin yung mga babaeng sumabay sa kanila paglabas ng simbahan.

"Ito na ba ang mamanugangin ninyo, Bobet?" tanong ng mga ito sa tatay ni Toby.

The question made her blush.

"Bakit? Ang ganda, ano?" his father answered proudly. Nahihiya syang ngumiti sa dalawang matandang babae.

Tumango ang mga ito. "Magaling mamili itong si Toby."

"Mana sa tatay!"

They all laughed. It's true, maganda ang nanay ni Toby. With graying hairs and wrinkles but still beautiful. Maliit na maamo ang mukha.

The topic jumped from her to the latest gossip in an instant. She was thankful for that. At least ay hindi siya ang palaging tinitingnan ng mga ito kapag nag-uusap sila.

--

Toby had to tell his friends about it. Alam niyang mas mabuting sa kanya nila mismo malaman ang nangyari kaysa sa tsismis ng kapitbahay.

Bago sila umuwi, tinawagan niya ang mga ito and asked them to meet him. Sina Rico, Gale, Femi at JT lang ang nakarating. Busy raw si Jazz.

Somehow, that made it easier to spill the secret.

"Arkilado ko na kayo ha: ninong at ninang."

"Sa kasal?" kunot-noong tanong ni Gale.

"Grabe naman. Kami ang unang nagplano tapos mauunahan na naman kami," nakangusong dagdag ni Rico.

Umiling siya. "Hindi sa kasal. Bakit ba lahat na lang kayo kasal agad ang iniisip?"

"Seryoso?!" biglang tanong ni Femi. Mukhang nagets nito.

"Oo."

"Ang alin?"

"Magkakababy na kami," nakangiti niyang sagot sabay akbay kay Jae.

"Seryoso?!"

"Bilis mo, pre, a!"

Natawa na lang sya sa reaksyon nina Gale at Rico. Si JT naman ay napansin nyang medyo natahimik.

"JT, say something," Jae urged.

"Alam na ba 'to ng parents mo?" tanong nito sa kanila.

Umiling si Jae.

"Sasabihin din namin pero baka hindi pa ngayon," sagot niya.

Ayaw niyang isipin ang posibleng mangyari ku ng sakaling hindi magustuhan ng parents ni Jae ang balita. They might forbid him to be with her. He might not be able to see her anymore. Ans it would be hell for him. Dahil hindi lang si Jae ang ilalayo sa kanya, if ever. Pati na rin ang magiging anak nila.

And he's pretty sure that would break him.