"And by leavin' my door open, I'm riskin' everything I own. There's nothing I can lose in a break-in that you haven't taken." --If You Ever Come Back, The Script

---

Awang-awa ang mga kaibigan niya sa kanya nang makitang may pasa na naman siya sa mukha. It's been a while since the last hit. This one hurt the most. It's because it's a slap and not a punch. Dati kasi, suntok ang katumbas ng mga mali niyang sagot sa tuwing tintanong siya ni Jae kung kaya na ba niyang pakawalan si Jasmine.

Back then, hindi pa nya nari-realize na gusto nya na si Jae.

But that slap was not because of any question. She slapped him because she wanted him to go away. Kung kailan naman na handa na siya, saka naman ito sumuko. Hindi niya ito masisi. He put her through a lot. But how can he make up for the mistakes he made in the past if she wouldn't let him?

"Ano na ngayon ang plano mo?"

"She obviously hates you. Kung magpupumilit ka, baka mapatay ka lang nya."

Umiling si JT sa sinabi ni Gale. "I don't think it's hate."

"What else would it be? Nasaktan sya, syempre magagalit yun," paliwanag ni Femi.

"Loi only gets physical if she loves a person so much that instead of breaking their hearts, breaking their faces seemed to be a more suitable alternative." Tumingin ito sa kanya. "You're lucky to be loved that much."

"Love hurts nga talaga," dagdag ni Rico. "I didn't think she would be this literal."

"Gumaganti lang 'yon kasi nasaktan mo sya," Gale told him. "She wanted you to feel how much it hurts."

"Kung sukuan mo na lang kaya?" Femi advised.

He sighed. Kung sukuan na nga lang kaya niya si Jae?

"That will only make it worse," JT told them. "Defense mechanism lang 'yan ni Loi. She will put you under a strenuous test just to see how long you can hold on. If you passed that test, she's yours completely."

"Gaano naman katagal 'yon? Kailangan ba munang mabugbog ni Toby bago mangyari 'yon?"

JT shrugged. "Yun ang hindi ko alam."

Bumalik ang atensyon ng mga ito sa kanya. "So, ano na nga ang gagawin mo p're?" tanong ni Rico.

"Hindi ko alam."

--

Kahit ang nanay niya, galit na rin. Dati pa siya nito tinatanong kung saan nanggagaling ang mga pasa niya sa katawan. He was always evading the question but when his mother saw the slap-mark, mukhang naintindihan na nito ang nangyari.

A guy would very unlikely to slap him. Of course, it had to be a girl.

"Sino sya anak?"

"Wala, 'nay."

Sumimangot ito. "Bakit ka ba naglilihim ha? Hindi naman kita pakikialaman. Gusto ko lang malaman kung sino sya."

"Wala nga, 'nay."

"Sya ba yung pupuntahan mo dapat sa America?"

Napabuntong-hininga siya. Ever since Jazz got married, palagi na siya nitong kinukulit. May kakaiba sa mga tingin nito. Para bang palaging nagtatanong kung kailan naman siya ikakasal. Alam naman ng buong pamilya niya na si Jazz lang ang ginusto niya. And now that she's married, all the sympathetic looks directed to him.

Gusto nilang lahat na sumaya na siya.

"Nay, mag-a-apartment na 'ko."

"Hala naman, anak. Parang tinatanong ka lang naman e. O sya, hindi na kita kukulitin."

"Seryoso po. Nakapagbayad na 'ko ng down payment."

"Saan naman?"

--

Biglang kinilabutan si Jae. Tumaas ang mga buhok niya sa batok. Parang may nakatingin pero wala namang tao sa buong kalsada. She shook the eerie feeling off. Baka epekto lang iyon ng panunuod niya ng horror movie kagabi.

Natakot tuloy siya. Gabi pa naman. Sa kalsada rin yung setting nung horror movie na pinanuod nya kagabi.

Sa susunod nga, rom-com na lang ang panunuorin ko!

Napamura siya nang may kumaluskos sa bandang likuran niya. Agad niya iyong nilingon. Tinakasan ng kulay ang mukha niya nang may makita siyang naka-hoodie na lalaki na nakatayo sa di-kalayuan. Sa takot ay nagsimula siyang tumakbo.

"Jae!"

She stopped abruptly. Muntikan pang mabali ang takong ng sapatos niya.

"What the fuck?!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

She started walking. Ang mantra niya ngayon sa buhay, ignore the bad things until they go away. And Toby is the worst thing that is in dire need of disappearing. With her heels and small steps, madali itong nakasabay sa paglakad niya.

Good thing he was keeping his distance.

"Saan ka pupunta? Gabing-gabi na a," tanong nito.

Binilisan lamang niya ang paglalakad.

"Jae."

She rolled her eyes. "Manlalalaki ako. Gusto mong sumama?!"

That's when he breached the line. Hinawakan siya nito ng sobrang higpit sa braso.

"You don't mean that."

"Ano ba! Nasasaktan ako!"

He loosened his hold but didn't let go. Nasa mukha nito ang pagmamakaawa.

"Jae naman..."

"Don't call me Jae."

"Di ba dati sabi mo—"

"Dati 'yon. Kung hindi mo pa rin napapansin, tapos na 'yong dati. Wala ka nang babalikan. So I suggest you stop wasting my time. Wala ka nang mapapala sa 'kin."

--

Paano mapaamo ang taong ayaw sa 'yo? Mukhang mahirap yata. Isang linggo na siya sa apartment na nirentahan niya na katapat lang ng bahay ni Jae pero wala pa ring progress. She still hates him. Gabi-gabi pa rin itong lumalabas at gumagala kung saan-saan.

From being her boyfriend, he was reduced to being her stalker. Palagi syang nakasunod dito, in worry na baka kung mapaano ito o baka makahanap ito ng ipapalit sa kanya. But she doesn't seem like she's looking for his replacement. That's a good thing.

Bukod sa lumayo siya sa trabaho, mas lumaki pa ang gastos niya. But this will be temporary. Either magsawa siya o magkasundo na sila. Hihintayin na lamang niya kahit ano'ng mangyari.

Gumigising siya ng bandang alas tres ng umaga dahil bandang ganoong oras umuuwi si Jae. He would wait outside the door of the apartment for her return. At kapag patay na ang lahat ng ilaw nito sa bahay, saka lamang siya papasok sa loob para matulog ulit.

But today, things were different. She didn't go home alone. Papikit na siya sa antok nang may pumaradang taxi sa tapat ng bahay nito. Nagising agad ang diwa niya nang bumaba ito. But then, a guy also came out of the taxi. Nakahawak ito sa bewang ni Jae while her hands are on the back of his neck.

Ganoon pala ang pakiramdam. Ang hirap huminga.

Para syang tanga na nakatayo sa tapat mismong tapat nila. Alam niyang alam ni Jae na nandoon siya. Alam niyang sinadya nitong ipakita sa kanya ang lahat.

She pulled the guy's face and let him kiss her. He wanted to punch the guy in the face. He wanted to drag her out of his arms. But all he could do was just stand there and savor the pain, thinking how much he deserved it.

--

She wanted him to see. Sa totoo nyan, plano pa nga niyang patuluyin si Craig sa loob ng bahay niya. But Toby's reaction caught her off guard. Parang nasaktan ito sa nakita nito. And that pain somehow bounced back.

Suddenly, she didn't feel like hurting him any further.

She pushed Craig and told him to go home. Mabuti na lang at magkaibigan sila. He got disappointed but didn't push his luck. He had been asking her out for a long time now and if not for JT and then Toby, pumayag na sana siya rito. But Craig's just not her type. May mga tao talagang hanggang kaibigan lang.

When Craig left, she stole a glance at Toby. He was looking back. When she sensed na gusto nitong lumapit, agad siyang pumasok ng bahay.

--

Hindi alam ni Toby kung ano ang nangyari. One moment they were kissing and the next thing he saw, she was pushing him away. Dahil ba sa nandoon sya? But that made no sense. He was already watching. Why not make it worse for him? Why not hurt him more? Is it because she can't?

Hindi niya maintindihan ang ikinikilos ni Jae. But then again, kailan ba niya ito naintindihan? One thing is for sure though, he was finally able to breathe when the guy left.

--

Tingin niya ay uulitin ni Jae ang ginawa nito kung may pagkakataon. He needs to do something. Kung tutunganga lamang siya, walang mangyayari. He followed her to the club. Of course, alam nitong nakasunod sya. He sat next on the bar and followed her every move. But he had to order too. He was careful enough not to drink too much, pero tinamaan pa rin siya ng alak na nainom niya.

Maybe it was the alcohol that drove him mad when he saw her dancing with two guys who were clearly taking advantage of her. Pumagitna siya sa mga ito. He pulled Jae out of the club. Kahit anong hampas ang gawin nito sa kanya ay hindi niya ito binitawan.

Pumara siya ng taxi at halos patulak itong pinapasok sa loob.

Nang makauwi sila ay hinila niya ito papunta sa apartment niya.

"Toby, let me go! Ano ba, nasasaktan ako!"

He opened the door quickly. Hinila niya ito sa loob. And then he shut the door and pushed her against the wall. Mamula-mula na ang mga mata nito. Tears were threatening to come out.

"I just want to talk to you." He cupped her face and gave her a pleading look.

"You're drunk. Now's not the right time to talk!"

"I need to be drunk, Jae... to let you know that I'm telling the truth, that I mean every word I say."

She was still struggling against him, still pushing him away.

"What more do you want from me?"

He leaned closer. Too close in fact, just a hairline away.

"I want your heart. Be mine, Jae."