"Didn't mean to take you for granted. Didn't mean to show I don't care. Didn't mean to throw away this once in a lifetime chance of being with you." --Kismet, Silent Sanctuary

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Bakit ka pa kasi pumunta? naiiling niyang tanong sa sarili. Nakapamulsa siya habang naglalakad palayo ng simbahan. They were all headed to the reception pero hindi na niya kayang magtagal pa doon. Tama na 'yong ilang oras niyang pagpapasakit sa sarili nya ngayong araw.

If he stays longer, he might burst into tears. The love of his life just got married and he happened to be there by her side, the whole time, as her best man! Can he have it any worse? The answer is yes! He actually did.

Kanina ay may nadaanan siyang isang matanda na nag-presintang hulaan ang kapalaran niya. Hindi siya mapagpaniwala sa mga hula. Para sa kanya, sinasabi lang ng mga manghuhula ang mga bagay na gustong marinig ng mga taong hinuhulaan nila.

His spirit needs that kind of uplifting... so he indulged himself. Kahit man lang sana sa hula, maging masaya ang takbo ng kapalaran niya.

But what the old woman had told him left him confused. Galing sa nakaraan. The girl is someone from his past. He could have met her before and he didn't even have the slightest idea that he was meant for her. Pero sino? High school friend ba niya? Dati nilang kapitbahay? There are so many people from his past. It could be anyone.

Minamahal mo sa kasalukuyan. That narrowed it down to Jasmine. It has to be Jasmine. He'd known her all his life. Hindi buo ang nakaraan niya kapag wala ito. And he's still very much in love with her. So it has to be Jasmine.

Matutuwa na sana siya sa hula ng matanda nang dagdagan nito ang huli nitong sinabi.

Makikilala mo sa hinaharap. Lalo na siyang nalito nang isali nito sa usapan ang tatlo niyang kaibigang babae na ngayon ay masasaya na sa piling ng mga lalaking mahal nila.

"At ang isa ay mahal mo pa rin hanggang ngayon."

"Opo."

"S'ya ang makakatuluyan mo, hijo."

Nailing siyang muli. He knew better than to believe those tattletales. Kasal na si Jasmine at kung may paraan man para maging sila sa bandang huli, alam niyang hindi iyon mangyayari nang wala silang nasasaktang ibang tao.

Imposible. Sobrang imposible.

The traffic light turned green just as he was about to cross the street. Parang traffic light lang ang buhay niya. Magulo. Kapag go, hindi pwedeng lumakad. Kapag pwede nang lumakad, red light naman. Wrong timing palagi.

When it turned red, he readied himself to cross the street. Sakto namang namataan niya si Femi. She's a few steps ahead of him. Napakunot ang noo niya. Bakit nandito si Femi? Kanina lamang ay kasabay ito nina Gale papunta sa reception. And why is she wearing a flowery dress when she's on her bridesmaid's dress just a while ago?

At nasaan si JT?

The light turned green.

"Femi!" tawag niya rito. Hindi ito lumingon. He called her again. Baka nga naman kasi hindi lang siya nito narinig noong una.

"Fem—" Panic struck when he saw her start crossing the street. Mabibilis ang takbo ng mga sasakyan. Siguradong mabubunggo ito.

He ran towards her and pulled her out of the street just before she got hit by a speeding van.

"Sira ka ba! Nakita mo nang green yung traffic light tapos—"

Natigilan siya nang matingnang mabuti ang mukha nito. She was crying. Mugto na ang mga mata nito kaiiyak. It's like she's been crying the whole time she was standing next to the street.

She has the same built as Femi. Pareho halos ang kulay at haba ng buhok... but this girl is definitely not his friend.

He had to drag her out of the street and into the nearest cafe he could find. Mabuti na lamang at hindi ito masyadong matao nang mga oras na 'yon. Nang maiupo niya ang dalaga ay agad itong sumubsob sa lamesa at humagulhol.

Tiningnan siya ng masama ng isang crew. Akala yata ay siya ang nagpaiyak dito. Hindi niya malaman kung ano ang gagawin. Kapag umiiyak sa kanya si Jasmine ay niyayakap nya lang ito hanggang sa makatulog ito. But this girl is not Jasmine. She's a stranger.

Baka mapagkamalan pa siyang molester kapag niyakap niya ito bigla. But he had to somehow offer her comfort so he reached out his hand and patted her shoulder.

She stopped shaking and he took it as a good sign. Maya-maya ay tumunghay ito. Dinukot niya ang panyo niya sa bulsa at saka iniabot dito. Saka siya alanganing ngumiti nang tumingin ito sa kanya.

"Okay ka lang?"

"Mukha ba akong okay?!"

He was taken aback with her tone of voice. Hindi niya inakalang susungitan pa siya nito. He was just trying to help. Ni hindi man lang ito nagpasalamat.

"If you don't mind me asking, bakit ka umiiyak?"

"I do mind. It's not of your business," she replied curtly.

He gave out an exasperated sigh. "Miss, hindi mo ikamamatay kung magpapasalamat ka man lang. I just saved your life."

"And who told you that I need saving?"

Ayaw niyang mainis pero sinusubok ng babae ang pasensya niya. He was raised to be nice to women and he was used to being nice towards women dahil sa mga kapatid niya, sa nanay niya at kay Jasmine. But this girl is surely testing his patience.

"So gusto mong magpakamatay?"

Nag-iwas ito ng tingin nang magpatakan na naman ang mga luha nito.

"I-I told you... it's none of your damn business," garalgal nitong sabi.

"Kung anuman 'yang problema mo, hindi solusyon ang pagpapakamatay."

"Huwag ka ngang magsalita na parang alam mo kung ano ang pinagdadaanan ko!" she suddenly snapped. "You probably don't even know what it's like to lose someone to someone else."

"Try me." He gave her a sympathetic smile. "She just got married."

The girl's expression softened. Pinunasan nito ang luha at saka ito nagsalita "I called his phone yesterday... t-to patch things up between us. Akala ko kasi may pag-asa pa e. Then this girl answered and told me to stop bothering him; that he was already happy with her and I should just leave them alone."

"So nag-give up ka na lang bigla?" tanong niya. "Malay mo nagsisinungaling lang 'yong babae."

Umiling ito. "I heard him on the background. He called out her name. Punong-puno ng pagmamahal 'yong boses nya. He used to call my name just like that. Exactly like that. I could recognize that voice anywhere. Pero ngayon, ginagamit na niya ang boses na 'yon sa iba. I guess he's really already over me."

She smiled bitterly saka ito bumuntong-hininga.

"Why am I even telling you this? Ni hindi kita kilala..."

"Sorry..." He held out his hand. "Toby nga pala."

Tinanggap nito ang kamay niya. "Jazmin."

Natigilan siya ng bahagya. "H-Ha? Ano ulit?"

"Jazmin," pag-uulit nito. "That's my name."

"Jasmine as in J-A-S-M-I-N-E?"

She shook her head. "Z, saka walang E sa huli. Bakit?"

"Wala naman."

"May kakaibang paraan ang Diyos ng pagtupad ng mga pangarap," naalala niyang sabi ng matanda kanina. Ito na ba ang ibig sabihin nito?

Nagpakwento nang nagpakwento si Jazmin. Para raw malibang ito. Siya naman, nagkwento nang nagkwento. As much as possible ay hindi niya isinasama sa kwentuhan ang barkada niya, lalong-lalo na si Jazz. But she kept on insisting. In the end, napilitan siyang ikwento rito ang tungkol sa kanila ng best friend niya.

Doing so was like reopening old, unhealed wounds.

He told her about the times when everything was good. Magkaibigan lamang sila. Walang komplikasyon. Hanggang sa nagkagusto siya rito, nanligaw at sa huli ay naging boyfriend nito.

He told her about how he avoided her when she tried many times to tell him that she wanted out. Hanggang sa isang araw ay napilitan na lamang siyang sumuko.

Sinabi rin niya rito kung paano siya nagparaya, dahil alam niyang kahit anong pilit niya, hindi talaga pwede. She never loved him the way he wanted her to and now, she's already married to the guy she's gotten to know just over a year ago. How it was so unfair for him who knew her all her life.

He told her about the wedding that transpired earlier. How he stood up at the altar to wait for her, all the while wishing he was the groom instead of just being the best man.

Mangiyak-ngiyak siya nang matapos ang kanyang kwento and Jazmin just stared at him for a long time. It became awkward after. Neither of them knew what to say.

Para makawala sa nakakailang na katahimikang iyon, he stood up and headed to the counter to order. Pagbalik niya sa upuan nila ay nakayuko ito, nakatitig lang sa lamesa. It was like she was suddenly lost inside her own world.

Nang ipatong niya ang tray na may kape at donuts, saka lamang ito gumalaw.

"Nakwento ko na 'yong sa 'kin. Ikaw naman."

Umiling ito. "Ayoko. Not today. Masyado pang masakit. Baka maiyak na naman ako. Pagod na 'kong umiyak."

He nodded, as if saying that he understood. It takes a while before one gets used to the pain. And even then, it's still hard to talk about the old scars. May kakayanan ang mga alaala na buhayin ang sakit, kahit gaano pa man katagal ang panahong lumipas.

It's true on his part. He was still in pain. But then again, he didn't really move on in the first place.

"Some other time then..."

Nagkibit-balikat ito. "If I'm still alive tomorrow, let's meet again, in this cafe."

"Don't do anything stupid," he warned her. "Lalaki lang 'yan. Makakahanap ka rin ng iba."

"Tell me how that is working out for you," she scoffed.

He just smiled at her. He believes that things will work out because he met her. Ngayon ay parang nabigyang-kalinawan na ang hula sa kanya ng matanda kanina. Medyo magulo pa rin pero... naniniwala siyang hindi isang pangkaraniwang coincidence na makakakilala siya ng babaeng Jazmin ang pangalan.

The universe is telling him something and he intends to listen very carefully. Para sa pag-asang sa hindi malayong hinaharap, makakawala na rin siya sa sakit.