Jimin entered the gym area and looked at the ladies, specifically at Dae-Hyun — the actress who played the main lead in the drama named Snow Blanket. He considered himself a fan of many people as he had been watching them since his teenage. The urge to talk to them was too high, but he knew Jungkook wouldn't approve of friendships here. He still couldn't get himself to stop crushing over the actress.

"Hi," the lady spoke finally, waving her fingers at Jimin as she caught him staring.

"Hi," Jimin now lurked towards her with a smile. "I am such a big fan. I am sorry if this is inappropriate, but I had to say it."

"That's quite alright, Jimin. That's your name, right?" Jimin nodded with a small smile. "Jimin, Jimin." The lady tested out the name on her tongue, making Jimin's lips stretch wider with each mumble.

"If you don't mind me asking a question in return too, we will be even."

"Sure," Jimin nodded earnestly.

"Is the trainer related to you?" She asked, making Jimin uneasy in an instant. This had to be the question everyone had been firing at him since day one. Was it that big a deal that Jungkook was training him? He trained a lot of people in the past too.

"Not quite, he is just an old acquaintance."

"I apologize. It's just-"

"He doesn't train anyone, I know," Jimin's smile was now replaced by nothing as he retreated his steps. "I'll get going then."

The lady nodded with a vibrant smile. "Tell me if you need me to sign you an autograph."

Jimin responded non-verbally and made his way toward Jungkook's office. The man was sitting at the desk, his eyes were keen on the laptop in front of him, and only when Jimin called his name that he sighed but still didn't look up. "Have a seat, Mr. Park."

Jimin grabbed a chair in front of the table. "What's wrong with you today?" Jungkook now looked at Jimin.

"Nothing. Isn't it absurd that everybody thinks that we have some ulterior motives behind the training? It's sickening."

"Why do you think I don't want you to talk to them in the first place? It's not my selfish reason. But it has everything to do with your health, which is why, if I may point out so bluntly — you came here in the first place. And the next thing is, I am an open gay."

"I get it, I get it." Jimin's breath got caught somewhere in him and he didn't know how to respond to any of Jungkook's words. It all rushed down on him, the way Jungkook looked at him, if it wasn't anything else, he could feel from earlier that the trainer indeed behaved a little differently with him, even with his tough exterior. He was getting training here for free. As opposed to what he always thought was a result of him breaking his toe, he could now think of a different reason too. Could it be that Jungkook was interested in him?

"Being cranky isn't exhibiting a good show, Mr. Park."

"That's because you show up at my house in the middle of every night to disturb my sleep. You don't have to rub it in my face," Jimin's eyes were suddenly wavering, not stopping at anything.

Jungkook let a wry chuckle out. Most people he came out to had the same reaction, or worse, but he was a kid then, he was a man now. It bothered him only a little. "You may leave. Your therapist is waiting for you."

Jimin stood up, now meeting Jungkook's gaze that was fixed on him with no expression. If Jimin didn't know Jungkook better, he wouldn't be able to recognize a little hurt in his eyes. But it wasn't his fault that he was straight and if Jungkook thought of anything else other than friendship between them. It still didn't mean he should have reacted the way he did. He knew he had to talk about it later. "Thank you."

The bronde wandered towards the other part of the Mikrokosmos — the one he'd never seen before.

***

As he entered the office, it didn't look like a gym at all. With an ergonomic couch, and anti-stress toys sprawled all over the room, Jimin could tell why was the place so expensive and only celebrities or the affluent could afford it. "Hello, Jimin," a frolic tone and voice caused the man to look up and spot a beautiful male, the owner of the voice.

"Hello, Mr..."

"Min," the man trodded ahead with an extended arm. "I am Min Yoongi. Please have a seat. And there's no formality here if you want to call me by my first name."

Jimin felt at ease at once.

The office was closed and there were no cameras inside as he skimmed through. Yoongi walked over to his desk and brought a few papers with him to Jimin. "These are patient-doctor confidentiality forms. In this, you will have to give me consent to ask you personal questions, but at any time if you feel that you don't want to talk about anything, you can simply tell me."

Jimin understood the seriousness of the situation now as his face paled. That was until he felt a hand over his shoulder. "Don't worry. If  you haven't murdered anyone, we are good."

The two chuckled.

Jimin read the forms and the friendly tone of each sentence felt to him that it was curated for his protection.

He signed it.

Yoongi took the form back from Jimin and put it in a folder while grabbing a uni-seater couch. "So, what do you want to talk about today? I am allowing you to choose on your first day, the row will be in my hands the next time."

Jimin smiled, biting his lips while thinking. "Whatever we talk about, it will remain inside this room and not go to anyone's ears, right?" He asked, his indication was towards Jungkook.

"Yes," Yoongi affirmed.

"In that case," Jimin began. "I would like to talk about the love of my life."

"Sure," Min Yoongi didn't pick up any notepad or pen and only relaxed further in his seat. "What's their name?"

"She and I are done now. Her name is Kim-Bee, but you must be wondering why was she the love of my life if we are over now?"

"I am intrigued, sure. But sometimes, we don't always get to spend our lives with someone we want. If it's great love, it remains." Yoongi nodded, opened the buttons of his blazer, and leaned back.

"What makes it so perfect was that we met in elementary school. We lived in the same neighborhood, our schools were the same. I got into the same college as her, but then we broke up on the day my best friend got married when I proposed to her."

To anyone, a bigger question would be why did they break up, but to the doctor, it was something else entirely. "You got into the same college as her. Did you want to go to another college?" Yoongi asked, picking up details of what Jimin said with his hollow eyes.

"I always wanted to be a businessman, like Jungkook. Do something of my own. I wanted to own a jewelry brand. I knew I had to study business, but when she got into hotel management, I took event management classes there. I never admitted it even to myself, but I guess I made a sacrifice. My heart wasn't in it. I just did it to stay close to her."

"Do you regret that decision? Do you feel that if you had chosen what you wanted, you would be happier today?"

Jimin thought for a moment and shook his head slowly.

"I think I would have lost her if I didn't put effort to stay close." He knew where the conversation was going with this. Speaking the truth was going to set him free, or make him fall on the floor, crumble, and cry until he couldn't feel anything.

"It seems to me with what you told me like you were the only one putting effort, Jimin," Yoongi spoke softly, but his tone was stern, unapologetic.

"I was," Jimin inhaled deeply and exhaled out slowly. "I believed this was what it is supposed to be, a man working for a woman, not the other way around."

"Everything should be equal in the relationship, Jimin. Love, effort, care, irrespective of gender and sexual roles you play," Jimin heard. Yoongi might be true, but this wasn't how he led his life. "Please go on." The doctor continued.

"It was perfect until middle school, but as we both started high school, she started changing."

"Changing how?"

"She would flirt with other boys in the class. I would fight with them. My best friends often caught her lurking about in the corridors or stranded in labs with a guy. My worries had started since then, but she always cried in my arms and apologized to me. I couldn't see her cry," Jimin's eyes turned moist as he blinked.

"Do you want water, Jimin?"

The bronde shook his head and sighed slowly. "I never thought ill of her. I would fight with my best friends if they suggested that she was disloyal, because to me, she was the one I loved more than anyone, and I knew she loved me too. No matter what happened, we would end up together at the end of the day."

"Your words tell me she wasn't as invested in the relationship as you were, Jimin."

"I think so now, but at that time, I only looked at her with admiration. There was no other way for me."

"She was the love of your life, but you weren't hers."

There was a silence for a moment. This hurt, this hurt more than Jimin could imagine, but he wanted to let it all out, to find out what he had twisted in his mind to fit his narratives. "You could say that." He whispered.

"Did she ever cheat on you?"

Jimin gripped the couch's handle tighter and felt like his body was frozen. "We can stop, Jimin-"

"No," Jimin immediately stemmed Yoongi. "She... Did. It was a time for Chuseok. We all have come back home on holidays."

The heavy silence hung between the two again. Jimin's eyes were mostly on the ground while he answered the questions, as Yoongi kept looking at him, seeing if he would break down or move on.

"I traveled far, without saying a word. I drove with no sense of direction. I remember my phone was buzzing all along. I didn't pay any attention to it, but I spotted a bridge. A voice in my mind told me that I needed to end it all, that I couldn't bear the agony anymore. So I got out, walked towards the bridge and jumped... I thought I jumped and that it would be over soon, but someone pulled me back up. There was blaring of sirens from all around. I was sent to the hospital. I was on the watch for the next months. Kim-Bee was my emergency contact. They informed her, and she came to me, cried again, promised me that she didn't mean for any of it to happen, begged me for another chance, and I forgave her. I loved her too much."

"Jimin..." Yoongi now breathed and stopped Jimin from saying anything. "I think that it was the best thing that has happened to you that she said no to your proposal."

Jimin now whipped his head up at Yoongi's face.

"Perhaps the girl had commitment issues, I can't judge her for her actions without knowing her. I know if you were with her, you must have seen some qualities in her, but she wasn't the right one for you. If you take my advice, instead of beating yourself up, let all the pain in, and then it will leave you, not soon, it will take time, but it will happen, that's my promise. I will be with you through it all."

"I am trying," Jimin smiled. "I didn't think I would be able to, but I have been distracted since I moved to Seoul. Jungkook keeps me busy."

9 May 2022