I can't believe it's just now hitting me-

Something I never thought to see,

Didn't think could be

A possibility.

Is it worse?

Like a blot from the blue,

Something I wish untrue,

And there's NOTHING I can do,

I'm just another loose screw

Is it worse?

Thinking on past

Never meant to last

I'm free of that cast-

It went by so fast.

Is it worse?

Hatred like spice,

I don't WANT to be nice,

You're just another vice,

This heart you won't entice.

Is it worse?

The darkness inside,

The pain I can't abide,

The places I hide,

Rushing over me like the tide.

Is it worse?

This single thought,

All the pain that it's brought,

And I'm at last caught,

In this net peril-fraught.

Is it worse?

Three little words,

Filling me- it's absurd.

Breaking my records

And knowing it hurts.

Is it worse?

AM I better off now,

I have no idea how

I can think to kowtow

To a broken sound.

Is it worse?

Was it better to lose her

Than to be there in that burr-

Was it better to be a loner

Than to live in that failure?

Is it worse?

Is it worse

To live in a hearse

Or to be filled with the worst

Of a broken curse?

Is it worse?

Worse to have lost my happiness

Or worse to be stuck with the soulless?

Worse to be such a huge mess

Or worse to need a hangman's dress?

Is it worse?

should I be glad that she's gone

Since it means I have a song-

People who love me and my long

History, or am I wrong?

Is it worse?

Should I want her back,

If it means living on the rack?

Is it right for me to hate what I lack

When I know where I'd be if I had her back?

Is it worse?

if I hadn't lost her, I wouldn't see red

If I hadn't lost her, I'd be right in the head

But if I hadn't lost her, id lose what I've said,

Cause if I hadn't lost her, I would be dead.

Is it worse?

I'd have picked up the gun

'cause I remember the sun

Didn't rise in that rat-run

If I was still there, I'd be done.

Is it worse?

Is it worse to feel this pain

Than to feel nothing, nothing gain?

Is it worse to be in perpetual rain,

Than to have her, and myself profane?