When Dan woke up and didn't immediately recognise his surroundings, his first thought was that he'd been abducted by aliens, and then when he realised that it was unlikely aliens would abduct him into a bedroom, that he'd been kidnapped, and then finally, as he caught sight of black hair and blue eyes beside him: Phil.

Phil's house.

Which was certainly a better alternative to abduction or kidnapping.

Honestly, being at Phil's house was a better alternative to the entirety of Dan's house, but there was just the question of him not being quite able to recall just why he was here and even what fucking day it was.

Phil soon noticed Dan's eyes opening and him stirring a little. "You fell asleep." He told him with a smile, putting his laptop lid down and placing it on the bed beside him. Phil was sat up on his laptop with his back against the wall, beside Dan's feet, who suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious and guilty for falling asleep in someone else's bed and then sprawling out across its entirety, as to condemn them to sit awkwardly in the corner.

"S-sorry." He blushed, running a hand back through his hair and immediately having some form of heart attack as he came to realise that it had grown curly in his sleep, and fuck, Phil could see, and fuck, Phil was just looking. Phil was just looking at him, and Dan was dying - what do you mean that isn't a normal human response to Phil Lester looking at you?

"Your hair's fine." Phil told him, narrowing his eyes a little, and only then did Dan sit up and really wake up enough to make note of the glasses Phil was wearing.

"I didn't know... you-" He gestured awkwardly to Phil's face, and the older boy, thankfully, got the general idea of what Dan's still half asleep brain was attempting to say.

"Yeah, I wear contacts usually, I mean I just took them out overnight-"

"Overnight!?" Dan exclaimed, his eyes widening in disbelief as he attempted to process the fact that he just slept overnight in Phil Lester's bed, and oh god, his mum was going to crucify him.

"Yeah, you shouldn't do all-nighters - you were really tired, and I just wanted to let you sleep. It isn't a problem, don't worry about it. It's like seven am now, by the way, and it's Saturday, incase you'd forgotten so there's no need to worry about school-"

"What about my mum?" Dan exclaimed, his eyes widening in disbelief, "she's going to think I've been murdered-"

"Oh, yeah, she called you last night, and I'm sorry if, but I tried to wake you at first, but you wouldn't wake up, so I just answered it, and I just told her that I was your friend, Phil, which is true, and that you were at mine and you fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you up because you didn't get any sleep last night, which is true-"

"And my mum was just fine with that?" Dan was practically yelling at this point: genuinely wondering if Phil had been talking to the right woman here.

"Yeah," Phil nodded, "she said I 'sounded nice' so it was okay."

Dan sat there dumbfounded for a few moments, before the realisation came like a bag of bricks to the face, "oh fuck, yeah... she's probably over the fucking moon that I've made a friend." He groaned, lying back down and burying his face in Phil's pillow. "Fuck, she didn't like do anything embarrassing like recount my birth to you in great detail over the phone or something?" He asked.

"No," Phil laughed a little, shaking his head, "I think I might have hung up if she did that."

"I don't blame you." Dan groaned, sitting back up again and glancing across at Phil, and suddenly taking note of the fact that he was wearing pajamas, which was, of course, so undeniably Phil, "wait, so did you- where did you sleep- you should have just kicked me out, I'm serious, I-"

"In my bed." Phil told him, calmly, "at this end. You were all curled up into a ball so it was easy to fit. I don't get how you can sleep like that, though, it's just-"

"I'm so sorry-" Dan exclaimed before Phil could finish.

"What for?" He asked: confusion evident upon hos face.

"Everything, I- stealing your bed, and falling asleep, and making you talk to my mum, and you probably didn't even want me here, and I-"

"Dan!" Phil raised his voice, reaching out and grabbing his wrist, and in turn, his attention. "Of course I want you here," he told him: his voice stern and sincere, and words spoken, with his hand still grasped onto Dan's wrist, which was probably why Dan had been finding it hard to breathe.

"Are you sure-"

"Dan." Phil narrowed his eyes, "I want you here. Do you believe me?"

Dan nodded, looking down and blushing, "yeah, I just... overthink things, sometimes, a lot, maybe, like all the time..." he trailed off, reaching for his cellphone, and feeling his face burn up as he read the texts his mum had sent him last night: the 'what the hell is going on, where are you?' texts, before Phil had answered her call, and then the 'you made a new friend, why didn't you tell me about him, he sounds lovely' ones that followed.

"I like you, Dan," Phil told him, "of course I want you here. You shouldn't think so bad of yourself all the time."

"I guess... I... I'm trying not to, I just... it's like my natural reaction," Dan trailed off, blushing as he stuffed his cellphone into his pocket.

"I'm sorry," Phil looked at Dan for a moment, before getting up out of bed and hitting him with a smile, "do you want breakfast then?"

"I... uhh..." Dan stuttered out, looking up at Phil, "are your parents not going to be like why is there this weird emo hobbit child in our house?"

"They're not in, I told you, remember?" Phil reached his hand out to Dan, "come on, I can totally make pancakes."

"By totally do you mean totally or 'totally'?" Dan asked, a little skeptical.

Phil laughed a little, "both."

-

Phil could absolutely not make pancakes, but still, Dan had to appreciate the fact that he was trying, and Phil's ass as well, because he had an excellent view of it as he watched Phil attempt to whisk some shit in a bowl, and well, Phil's ass was really worth appreciating.

As was Phil in general, honestly, Dan was a good ninety seven percent sure that Phil Lester was the eighth wonder of the world, and he'd barely known the guy a few weeks. He didn't need to know him for years to know what he felt in his heart mean something, and that Phil's ass was as beautiful and perfect as he was.

In fact, Dan had found himself so enthralled with the miraculous wonders of Phil's ass, that he drifted off into another dimension entirely, and didn't realise he'd been staring, and very obviously so, until Phil waved a floury hand in front of his face.

And Dan had his second almost heart attack of the day.

Like seriously, Phil Lester was a legitimate health hazard and Dan was going to file a formal complaint and sue the guy... sue him for being so adorable and insanely hot at the same time, because it was going to kill him.

Really it wasn't just that. It was the fact that Phil actually cared about him; it was that Phil wanted to spend time with him, it was that Phil cared about him and his opinions, and his shitty photography, and didn't care that his mum was literally the most embarrassing person in the world, it was that Phil, despite all logic and reason, thought he was a wonderful person.

That was what was killing Dan.

Also the ever aging and temporary nature of the human body, and the non-expendable nature of his vital organs, because that was also killing Dan, as it was killing everyone, slowly- but, anyway.

The matter at hand was Phil, and his hand waved in Dan's face, covered in fucking flour, and- oh god, Phil's hand on Dan's cheek, and Phil's face erupting into a smile as he placed a floury handprint upon Dan's skin.

"Oops." Phil giggled a little, but Dan didn't believe that it was an accident even for a second; Phil didn't expect him to though. "Sorry."

Phil just... Phil didn't know, honestly. He certainly like Dan, but he couldn't quite figure out as to what extent and in which particular way, and honestly, he was just playing every moment with Dan by ear and hoping for the best, and it was just so that his hand ended up upon Dan's cheek, and it was just so that his heart rate was beginning to increase as he met Dan's eyes.

Dan really had beautiful eyes- wait, shit, that was a bit gay. Phil decided to backtrack away from that thought and take a step back, away from Dan: the beautiful sixteen year old in his kitchen, with the over worried, but generally quite lovely mum, who'd told him that he'd 'sounded nice' - whatever that could have possibly meant.

"You are not sorry." Dan rolled his eyes at Phil: unable to prevent himself from smiling, however, "you so did that on purpose."

"Nope." Phil blushed a little, giggling, as he glanced back at the pancakes he was attempting to make. Serious fucking emphasis on 'attempting', because Phil didn't do cooking breakfast; Phil did last minute half burnt toast or maybe some cereal if he was feeling particularly luxurious, but... but... Dan.

It was only then that Phil seriously processed the fact that he was making these pancakes for Dan's benefit. And it was only then that Phil seriously processed the connotations of such a fact. He blushed a horrible shade of red.

"Can you-" He stumbled over his words: his eyes fixating upon the pancakes, "can you like make sure they don't disintegrate or try not to burn the house down while I go and feed Susan?" He didn't even look at Dan as he asked, just making his way out of room: determined to hide his blush, because nothing about this looked good, and he knew for sure that he was so unbelievably fucked, but still, he really wasn't putting in a particular effort not to flirt with Dan, was he?

Phil made his way upstairs, and initially made his way into the bathroom in order to look himself over and contemplate the meaning of life briefly as he adjusted his fringe, and then went into Susan's room and feed her some of those tasty ferret snacks that ferrets eat - meat and shit. High in protein, high in energy, and low in fiber, as peteducation.com says.

He also changed her water before sitting down on the floor and watching her eat her breakfast, and continued to contemplate his existence, but in particular Dan. Susan had always liked Dan. Susan had brought him to Dan in the first place - perhaps he should thank her for that.

He just wasn't sure what he was supposed to think about Dan at all.

So, Phil did what anyone would do, and asked his ferret for advice.

"Susan?" He kept his voice low: fearing that Dan would hear him talking to his ferret about him. Like seriously, that feel when cute guy(tm) hears you shittalking to your elongated rodent about him, as he tries his best not to burn your kitchen down. Phil related strongly in that moment.

Susan didn't respond because she was a fucking ferret, but if she could have spoken, the likelihood was that she would have said something along the lines of, 'yes, Phil?' or maybe 'why are you asking me for advice I'm literally a ferret? I don't know shit.'

"You know Dan?" Phil continued, reaching into her cage and stroking her a little.

Susan did know Dan, after all, she was the one who'd run into him, and would have said something to the effect of, 'yes that weird emo hobbit boy who I nearly killed. I know him'.

"I don't know what to do, because I think... I don't know really, but I think I kind of have feelings for him." Phil continued in his rather one-sided heart to heart with his ferret.

Susan was obviously thinking something like, 'of course you have feelings for him! I ran into him for a reason,' as she was definitely a secret ferret matchmaker.

"What do you think I should do?" Phil continued to ask: whole heartedly serious as he spoke, however jumping a little as he heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs - so it was either a murder or Dan, and Phil didn't know which one was worse if they'd heard him talking to Susan.

It was Dan, which was confirmed as he made his way into Susan's room, and letting out a laugh as he noticed how Phil was sat with her.

"Did you burn the house down?" Phil asked, looking up at him: blushing.

"No," Dan laughed, "they're done. I was wondering if you'd died or something, you've been up here literally forever."

Phil raised his eyebrows at that getting up and putting Susan back in her cage. "Literally?"

"Yes. Literally yes." Dan nodded, running a hand back through his hair and cringing at the reminder that it was still in its natural curly state. "Ugh... my hair-"

"Looks lovely." Phil insisted, "it looks lovely. Come on, breakfast?"

Dan nodded, biting his lip as he attempted to hide the blushing growing upon his cheeks, and made his way out of the room. As the two began to walk downstairs, he continued to ask, "were you talking to Susan in there?"

Phil instantly blushed, because fuck, Dan couldn't have heard him- oh god, could he? "W-why did you hear anything?"

"No," Dan shook his head, "I just, it's just the way you were sat with her - like she's your friend not your pet-"

"She is my friend!" Phil protested, meeting Dan's eyes, "ferrets are people too, Dan."

"Technically, no-" Dan began to explain as they made it back into the kitchen, but Phil was having absolutely none of Dan's ferret dehumanising bullshit.

"No. Susan has rights. She is a person too-"

"But she's a ferret. It's a different species, technically, Phil- come on," Dan laughed a little, wondering if they were genuinely having an argument about whether his ferret was a person. Phil was definitely one of a kind, and perhaps that was why Dan felt so drawn to him, apart from how unfairly attractive he was, of course.

"No, you mean human," Phil told him, pausing to smile as he noticed that Dan had put the pancakes out onto plates. "Wow you actually didn't burn them- anyway, what you mean is human, and yes, of course I know that Susan isn't human, but she is a person. They're different things."

"Are they?" Dan looked unconvinced, sitting down at the table beside Phil. "And yeah, I am not entirely incompetent."

Phil smiled a little, "see, you're getting there. You're wonderful and talented and-"

Dan narrowed his eyes, groaning a little, "Phil."

"A person is an individual being. Mainly used to mean human being, yes, but being can refer to animals, so therefore, Susan is a person. And I definitely think of her so." Phil concluded, smiling at Dan.

"You have a point. I know people that are probably less human than Susan." Dan groaned at the mental images of some of the people attending his school. "You're lucky you don't go to school anymore."

"They're still dicks at college, but... it's better, I'd say that." Phil began to eat his pancake, "see these aren't bad-"

"You sound surprised," Dan laughed a little, "were you expecting that you'd poison me or something?"

"No, no- I just..." Phil laughed, "I don't really cook much, especially breakfast, this is just because you're here, I don't want to give you some soggy toast or something-"

"Do you seriously think I even have the motivation or time to even eat breakfast most days?" Dan asked, laughing a little, because Phil Lester seriously had too much faith in him entirely.

"You should eat breakfast, Dan," Phil exclaimed, "it's the most important meal of the day- you need it, you know eating breakfast can you just make you feel that little bit better in general-"

Dan let out a sigh, "you sound like my mum."

"I don't sound nearly as embarrassing as your mum did, I promise you-"

"Phil!" Dan exclaimed, his eyes widening as he practically fell off his chair.

"I'm joking!" Phil promised him, placing his hand over Dan's accidentally, but finding no particular want or reason to move or do anything about it.

"Y-you better be..." Dan stumbled over his words a little, his face heating up as he looked down at their hands, and ohmyfuckingactualgodisthisactuallyreal- let's just say Dan maybe couldn't breathe a little.

"I don't know." Phil laughed a little, "maybe you'll have to ask her yourself-"

Phil was cut off however as Dan's phone began to vibrate rather loudly in his pocket and completely destroy whatever had been going on between them.

Dan blushed a little, "fuck..." and reached for his phone to see Chris calling him at eight in the morning, which was beyond unnatural for Chris, so his house must have burned down or something incredibly important like that.

And with that in mind, Dan answered it.

Only to hear Chris practically screaming down the phone at him, "PJ accepted my friend request on facebook!"

-

hey pals hope u enjoyed vote and comment if u want lov u