Dan was certainly feeling the effects of staying up so late and completely ruining his life come something like ten the following morning.

At least he'd gotten that fucking photography done.

And at least Phil had liked it.

Somehow Phil liking it entirely outweighed the photography's original worth, and honestly Dan just didn't know what to do, and of course what he could possibly think about that.

Because Phil was this cool, yet odd, quirky, beautiful, blue eyed college boy, and Dan was currently sat in the corner of his art classroom willing his work to disappear into the fucking void, because suddenly with Phil gone, his work held no presence and no meaning and ceased to be little more than a burden upon him: something to be embarrassed of, ashamed of, because within minutes, Dan's self worth had crippled and fallen into nothingness, and it was all down to his fucking reliant tendencies, and the way he'd constructed Phil's presence in his mind, when in reality Phil was the weird fucking guy with a ferret called Susan.

But he was so, so beautiful, and Dan was in love with the idea of that, at least, and his photography, and his artwork in general was a pile of shit in comparison. Hell, Dan was a pile of shit in comparison, and he knew that thinking like this did nothing to help him, but still, his last concern was 'benefitting himself' as he placed his head down on the desk and tried to focus on not fucking falling asleep right then and there and melting away into the desk.

Dan enjoyed art, as it was, art, drawing and all that, but the actual class was not something he found himself quite so fond of, mainly due to the fact that Chris, his one and only friend, wasn't in it, and was indeed off doing drama and drooling over PJ Liguori - god, Dan hoped that one day he'd find some success when it came to PJ, even if that solely went as far as simply making somewhat decent conversation with him on a somewhat regular basis, because if he didn't, Dan was pretty fucking sure he was going to go insane from hearing about it.

"Hey, are you asleep?" Dan jumped up, his eyes widening as they met with a brown pair. The eyes weren't just there, existing solely as eyes, because if they were, then Dan would be pretty fucking certain that he was hallucinating at this point. Instead, they belonged to a girl with brown hair, about shoulder length - who Dan had never really paid much attention to, and had really never paid much attention to Dan either, until, of course, to ask him if he was asleep.

"No..." Dan stammered out, blushing as he did so, and only then coming to realise that the girl had caught sight of his photography and pulled it across the table to get a better look at it: something Dan had really not wanted to happen. "It's terrible- I'm sorry..." He managed to force out, before he resorted to just biting his lip and bracing himself for whatever atrocious consequences could possibly come of such a situation.

"No, no, don't say that." She exclaimed, causing Dan to tentatively pull his gaze back towards her; she remained focused at his work, glancing over it extensively, and Dan honestly felt as if she was slicing him open with a scalpel or something equally as horrific. "I like it, I really do, you have a clear style here. I mean, there's area for improvement, but there always is with everything - nothing ever has to perfect, as nothing is ever going to be. I think you could maybe try experimenting with contrast, and focusing more so upon the subject, as I think they can be a little fuzzy, like you can get lost in them - there's just so much, which is not a bad thing, I just personally like things to be clear and direct. Of course, you don't have to listen to what I say at all." She finished her sentence with a grin before sliding Dan's work back to him across the table.

"Oh... uhh... thanks." Dan found himself blushing again as he picked up his work and glanced over it once more before turning it over and placing it back down on the desk.

"You're Daniel, aren't you? We haven't really spoken before - I'm Cat." She said with a smile, leaving Dan to wonder just what kind of shit she could possibly be on that had made her feel inclined to speak to him.

"Uhh..." Dan stuttered out, his eyes widening a little, "y-yeah, I mean it's Dan, but... yeah..."

"Okay, Dan," She continued to smile, like seriously to the extent that it was starting to unnerve him, "do you want to look at my work?" She asked, getting out her photography before she'd even given him a chance to respond.

"Why are you talking to me?" Dan asked her rather blankly, only coming to realise just how rude he'd come across once the words had left his mouth.

She looked up: a little startled by the directness of his question, "uhm... do I have to have a reason? You were sat on your own and I've never spoken to you before, so I wanted to see what kind of person you were-"

"Sorry." Dan grimaced, "it's- I didn't mean to come off like that, fuck, I... I just, I didn't think I was worth talking to."

"You're too harsh on yourself." Cat told him, still fucking smiling as she passed him her photography, "as I said, mine's not perfect either."

Dan's eyes widened in disbelief, because fuck, her work was at least seven thousand times better than his. The photographs were more human subject based; the focus clear and direct as she had said before, and the tone of the images rather cold and dramatic: littered with blacks and reds and perhaps colour where there didn't even need to be, creating a rather harsh effect, that worked to frame the subject, who was never made explicitly recognisable, but definitely masculine in nature with a flat chest and broad shoulders, in an odd sort of power and mystery.

"I love this." The words tumbled awkwardly from Dan's lips before he could really stop himself.

Cat laughed at that, "thank you, Dan."

"Who is it?" Dan asked, "the subject, I mean."

"A friend, sort of... friend, sort of not, I mean we kissed a bit, but... uhh... I don't know, it's complicated." It was finally her turn to blush, tucking her hair behind her ears as she spoke.

"Oh... what's his name?"

"Can't tell you that now, can I, Dan?" She laughed a little, "that'd be no fun at all."

"What do you mean?" He asked: his expression one of confusion.

"Means, that I don't want to tell you," she laughed it off, awkwardly, "is that okay?"

"Agh, shit- sorry- I'm... really tired today- well, actually I'm this incompetent normally, I just-"

"Don't worry about it. I like your style; I think you're cool."

-

"So what? She just came up and started talking to you?"

"Yes, Chris - it happened exactly like that." Dan let out a sigh, finding himself explaining what had happened with Cat in art to him for something like the seven thousandth time.

"Are you sure?" Chris narrowed his eyes, looking at Dan as if there was absolutely no way that he could be telling him the truth.

"Yes." Dan nodded, rolling his eyes a little as the two continued to walk home from school together. It was annoying cold, and by that, it was just cold enough for it to be vaguely irritating, but not cold enough to make it socially acceptable to wear a coat or go around complaining loudly about it, which were both precisely what Dan wanted to do, of course.

Chris didn't live too far from Dan, but in a few streets time they split off in two separate directions, which was something Dan found himself secretly thankful for, because if Chris didn't drop this whole Cat thing soon enough, he reckoned he was going to go insane.

Also he really fucking wanted to go home and just pass out on his bed. There was that too.

"No, girls don't just do that. Believe me, I have tried to get girls to talk to me many times and I have failed." Chris shook his head a little, pulling his face into a sympathetic smile.

"Didn't know PJ was a girl." Dan added before he could stop himself: the comment offhand, and perhaps directed more so at the ground than Chris himself, but Chris still definitely heard him.

"Hey-" He exclaimed, placing his hand on Dan's shoulder and stopping them, "that's... that's, no..." He shook his head, meeting Dan's eyes, "PJ's my friend- not even that actually, he's... he's an inspiration for me in drama- yes that... that makes me sound suitably het- ahem, I mean, yes, I... I like girls- like I totally- I was fliting with this girl last night, her name's... PJ...PJecca- okay I wasn't, because... well... yeah, the ladies don't seem to flock to me - can't see why-"

"Chris..." Dan narrowed his eyes, "you know you can talk to me, right?" Chris nodded, blushing a little, "about anything, your sexuality, your life, your-"

"Dan, I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm actually not gay!" He exclaimed, even raising his hands up in the air for dramatic effect or emphasis or something like that. "And PJ's just a cool guy, I mean, I just really want to be his friend - it's... it's... kind of sad actually... wow... me and my fantastic life, you're so totally jealous."

"Chris, considering the fact that you have more than three times as many friends as me, and have dated more people than I've ever spoken to without shitting myself, yes I am jealous of your life." Dan let out a sigh, deciding it best to drop the whole PJ thing, for the time being, at least anyway.

"Dan, I've dated like two people." Chris laughed a little as they continued to walk again,

"Exactly." Dan exclaimed, "you're like the only person I can have a comfortable conversation with."

"Dan, you need to get out more." Chris let out a sigh, looking Dan over with an odd sense of concern, "I think you should go for Cat. Girls don't just talk to you for no reason - I know that. So she probably likes you to some degree, so see how it goes, hey? Go for it."

"I don't like her like that." Dan met Chris' eyes, and trying all he could not to think of Phil, and failing miserably in the process of doing so.

"What?" Chris exclaimed with a laugh, "she's a girl, she's a good looking girl, like a solid eight, eight point five maybe, and... you don't want to go out with her?"

Dan shrugged it off, "I've only spoken to her once. I don't really know her."

"So?" Chris continued to laugh, "you can find out about out her when you're dating-"

"That's the worst advice I have ever heard." Dan told him plainly, brushing his hair away from his face, "I'm just not- I don't know, attracted to her."

"How- oh my god-" Chris exclaimed, his eyes widening, "you like someone else. You totally do, oh my god you're going red! Who is it?"

"I'm going red because you're fucking embarrassing me, that's why!" Dan exclaimed, rolling his eyes, "I don't have a crush on anyone, so can you just fuck off - I want to get home, and I'm tired-"

"Dan, okay, okay, I'm sorry," Chris reached for his arm and pulled him back to face him, "I didn't mean it, okay?"

"It's okay," Dan ran a hand back through his hair, "I'm just tired. I should probably get some sleep."

"Yeah, get some sleep." Chris nodded, "you sure you don't want me to find someone to help you get some sleep, though, if you know what I mean?"

"I'm very sure." Dan rolled his eyes, "I don't need any kind of help with anything like that."

Dan was sure that the only help he could possibly need was help with getting Phil off his mind, because he was certainly failing when it came to that.

Dan waited until Chris had disappeared down the road he turned off to, before letting out a sigh of 'dear Jesus Christ fuck my life', and pulling his cellphone out of his pocket, with little more than the intentions of putting his headphones in, but instead finding his phone lighting up with a new message, sent only four minutes ago - from Phil Lester.

'Are you free right now?'

And suddenly Dan was so not tired anymore that he actually forget what sleep was in favour of Phil Lester.

He also probably set the world record for fastest typed reply, especially when extremely tired, with no sleep.

'Yeah I was just heading home.'

Dan waited, fucking holding his breath as the little icon signifying that Phil was typing popped up. Thankfully, he didn't take long, because otherwise Dan would have probably died, seeing as he could barely hold his breath for thirty seconds.

'You want to come over to mine instead?'

Dan instantly died.

'Yeah, I'd need to go home and get changed first though, but sure :)'

-

Dan was equally as dead inside when he made it to Phil's road, having found that Phil didn't actually live much more than four minutes away from him, which was easily the best news he'd ever heard in his entire life.

Honestly, Dan still wasn't even quite over the idea of Phil's existence.

He was just awfully cute, and that was causing Dan some serious heart problems, as he stood outside Phil's house awkwardly texting him to tell him that he was outside because he felt uncomfortable ringing the doorbell.

Thankfully, Phil appeared, opening the door only a minute or so later, dressed in black jeans and an entirely too colourful shirt.

"Never heard of a doorbell?" Phil asked: his tone obviously light hearted, but still Dan found himself stood there blushing.

"I... uhh... felt awkward, like you know, if someone else answered it, you know, I-"

"No one else is home." Phil said, all too fucking casually, because Dan was totally fucking fixated upon his Adam's apple, and in turn, his own death.

"O-oh..." Dan practically choked on his own words, forcing his eyes back up to Phil's face, as he awkwardly followed him inside, "so... why did you invite me over?"

"Just wanted to see you." Phil met him with the most genuinely beautiful smile that Dan had ever fucking seen. "Not interrupting your busy schedule, I hope."

Dan only laughed at that, "the only thing I was going to do when I got home was sleep."

"Oh god, you didn't get any sleep last night and I've made you spend time with me, I-"

"Phil," Dan interrupted him, "it's fine, I'm okay, as long as you're not expecting me to do like a fucking workout with you or something."

"I was thinking more of showing you Susan and watching Netflix, honestly, but whatever you want, I mean, I just want to spend some time with you. I had a shitty day at college today." He let out a sigh before leading Dan upstairs - not like that.

Dan completely died as he realised that Phil had asked him to come over because he was feeling shitty and that hanging out with him would make him feel better, and that was honestly far too much for Dan to handle. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked after a moment, "your day, I mean, it's like fine if you don't-"

Phil let out an awkward groaning noise in response, "I don't know, it's nothing meaningful, I just- my friend's being a dick and I don't know just not a good day."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Dan told him, following Phil into his bedroom, and taking in his surroundings, and in particular the walls which seemed to be entirely devoid of free space: covered completely in posters and random photographs.

"Oh my god-" Phil suddenly exclaimed, snatching a framed photograph off the windowsill, "don't look at that - that's me age twelve-" His cheeks suddenly reddened as he held it to his chest.

Dan laughed a little, "why do you keep it on your windowsill?"

"My mum makes me. She's like, you have to reflect on your memories, Philip, and I'm-"

"Philip?" Dan exclaimed, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Oh my god-"

"What did you think Phil was short for? Margret?" Phil rolled his eyes a little, sitting down on his bed and patting the space next to him in prompt for Dan to join him. "Huh, Daniel?"

Dan cringed as he did so, "okay, Prince Philip."

"No." Phil grimaced, "don't, my mum calling me Philip is bad enough."

"Whatever you say, Philip," Dan laughed a little, knowing he was pushing it, but like he was tired, also the way Phil was smiling was genuinely killing him.

"Stop, Daniel." Phil gave him a little shove, not anticipating that it would cause Dan to fall down onto his bed, looking up at Phil with those fucking beautiful eyes, and the world's most wonderful smile. "Sorry," he blushed a little.

"It's fine," Dan continued to smile, "don't think I'm ever getting up again, though - your bed's really comfy."

"Thanks?" Phil laughed a little, pulling his knees up to his chest and watching as Dan curled up a little and rested his head back on the pillows. "My friend was being homophobic today." He found himself saying out of nowhere, causing Dan's eyes to immediately fixate upon him. "Nothing too bad, just, you know, saying 'that's so gay', and stuff, it just... I don't like it, and then, if he knew that I... I like boys... I... I mean I like girls too, but I don't know, 'that's so bisexual' doesn't quite have the same ring to it."

"I'm sorry-" Dan stuttered out, trying to focus on getting his mind to do anything other than replaying Phil saying 'I like boys' for the rest of his life. "Some people are just... just... dicks."

"Maybe dicks is the wrong word." Phil concluded, "cause, well, I like dicks, but no homophobes."

"Oh my god." Dan exclaimed: his cheeks practically on fire by this point, as he lay there: in Phil's bed.

-

hey guys hope u enjoyed vote & comment if u want lov u