Phil had a relatively normal life: everyday he woke up, instantly regretted ever doing so, fed his ferret, browsed the internet mindlessly for a while, got dressed, went to college, had a relatively mediocre time, came back home, fed his ferret, got undressed, and went to sleep.

And in that relatively normal life, he had most certainly not accounted for time he might spent thinking about a certain brown haired boy by the name of Dan, who he'd encountered only twice, but still felt almost painfully important: as if Dan was just going to slip past him if he didn't hold on tight, but Phil found himself stuck with no idea as to why and how he should be holding on.

Because he didn't have Dan's phone number, he didn't even know his last name - he simply knew that he was called Dan and he liked art and photography, and that he was unreasonably self-conscious about his naturally curly hair. He also knew what school Dan went to, but it really wasn't like he was going to stand outside the gate and ambush him or anything, because doing so would seriously run the risk of him looking like a pedophile.

Not that Phil could technically be a pedophile, being seventeen, after all, and not that a one year age difference between the two of them really counted for much. And not that they were even romantically interested in each other, because they weren't, or at least, that's what Phil felt insistent upon telling himself.

They were just friends, although Phil didn't quite know whether he could really count someone he'd met twice as his friend, but they really had just clicked, and Phil desperately wanted to get to know Dan better, regardless of how pathetic it made him feel.

It wasn't like Phil didn't already have friends, anyway - he had his college friends: Adam and Sophia, who he was in fact relatively close to and actually liked, and there was no logical reason for him to care so much about this random guy he'd met literally twice, but he did, and the reality of it all was something he struggled to stomach.

And something he struggled harder with was not thinking about Dan excessively, because he'd deemed that a little creepy and reckoned that Dan wouldn't exactly appreciate it if he found out - not that he would, likely, but still, Phil considered himself to be a good person, but it was evident that he was perhaps not as good at being a good person as he wanted to be.

Phil had this coursework to finish - coursework that was due in two days time, coursework that had been set two weeks prior, coursework he was struggling to start. And he knew just how much this was all his own fault, but still, he sat there on his bedroom floor with his unfinished coursework laid out messily in front of him and his laptop to his side: playing some Vampire Weekend, well it had been Vampire Weekend, but now Phil found himself sat there listening to an advert for Toyota.

By the time he'd reached the next ad break in his music listening experience, he found himself having written only three more words and indeed giving up entirely: putting down his apparent uselessness to a lack of inspiration, and with that gave himself an excuse to get up and do something else, putting off his media coursework until tomorrow - the day before it was due, and yes, Phil knew how much of a bad idea that was, and yes, current Phil knew how much future Phil would hate himself for it, but still, in his defense, you were supposed to have regular breaks when working, weren't you? Phil doubted that it counted when you hadn't actually done any work, though.

He shut his laptop lid and got up from the floor, well, attempted to, as in the process of attempting to do so, he discovered that one of his legs had died, along with his motivation, as he'd tried to do his coursework, and nearly fell over again, which was, to put it crudely, fucking wonderful.

He did manage to make it downstairs safely, however, which was something he did in fact find himself genuinely surprised by, which really wasn't a good thing, but neither was continuing to neglect your coursework, so in the schemes of things it hardly mattered at all.

"So you are alive." His mum made a vaguely amused comment as Phil made his way into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and only vaguely grunting in her direction. "Typical teenage boy," she rolled her eyes, turning away from the cup of tea she was making, and looked Phil up and down with a degree of skepticism, "how's the coursework?"

"Good," Phil mumbled, shrugging a little and avoiding eye contact, because it didn't count as lying if you didn't look them in face, as some kid called Michael had once told him when he was six. "Fine," he found himself reiterating, opening the fridge and groaning loudly at the apparent lack of anything 'edible'.

"You sure?" His mother didn't believe him for a second, but still, Phil knew she wasn't going to directly call him out upon it, but instead let him face the consequences when come tomorrow, he'd undoubtedly hate himself for putting it off even further.

"We've got nothing to eat." Phil complained, whilst staring at a fridge full of food, well a fridge full of things like low fat Greek yoghurt, asparagus, and mustard.

"We've got a whole fridge full." Mrs Lester gestured towards the food Phil was in fact staring at as he complained about the lack of anything to eat. "We have an abundance of food, in fact, and I blame those two for one deals, because they seem like wonderful ideas at the time, but then I get home and I find myself thinking just what we can possibly do with two whole chickens."

"Eat them?" Phil suggested, wondering just how he'd gone to giving his mother culinary advice, but regardless, it was certainly better than actually doing his coursework.

"If you want to roast a whole chicken, go ahead, Phil." She rolled her eyes, pouring milk into her tea and stirring it a little.

"Do we not have anything I could eat?" He asked, his voice sounding desperate and embarrassingly so.

"Phil, we have-"

"We have nothing I want to eat." Phil corrected his mother, gaining an 'I'm disappointed in you' gaze from her as he did so.

"Well, if you're not satisfied with what I've bought for us, then you can go out and get it yourself."

Phil let out a groan, about to protest and tell her exactly as to how much of a horrible idea that was, but of course, then it struck him - if he was outside, then he definitely had a solid excuse not to do his coursework, and anyway, fresh air was good for you, wasn't it?

-

Dan often found himself regretting going outside, and this instance was no different whatsoever, however had seriously needed to get his photography done, as his art project was actually due within the next twenty four hours, and he would rather not fail his GCSEs, believe it or not, but still, he took great care in ensuring that everyone around him knew from the over exaggerated scowl upon his face that he was most absolutely not having a great time outside.

Fuck, at least it wasn't raining, because Dan's hair looked nice today - he had that going for him, if only that, it was something, wasn't it?

His photography, a study in nature, however wasn't going so well. It was almost as if this particular area of the woods had taken an immediate dislike to his existence and was downright refusing to co-operate with him, which was something Dan found himself taking an embarrassingly lengthy amount of time in order to convince himself out of thinking.

Dan was perhaps less than rational when he was stressed, not that taking some photos was particularly stressful, it was just the matter of getting them good enough, perfect, even, not that Dan really believed so much in perfection, as at least he'd never felt that he'd obtained such a thing.

But he was making progress, and not just in his soul searching pretentious quest for perfection, but in his photography, because the last few shots looked pretty decent, and well that had to do, didn't it? Considering the ever close deadline of the project, especially. Dan knew he had to manage his time better if he was going to be so finicky about everything, but he knew that just as much as he knew that the day that he learned to manage his time was the day that Chris admitted his feelings for PJ.

Nothing much had come of this Francesca girl, who PJ had indeed just waved at, but it was a particularly heartfelt, a deep wave, so to speak. But Dan reckoned if there was something going on between the two of them, and considering the nature of the school and the way gossip spread, he would have heard something, and Chris may have committed mass genocide by now, all while dressed as a tortoise, of course.

Perhaps she was just a friend, just like Chris would stay if he never got the balls to say anything.

Dan really didn't know as to how Chris' rather pathetic lovelife had become so much of his concern as of recent, because it didn't involve him in the slightest and he really wasn't the type to get invested in other people's business for the hell of it, but he couldn't quite get Chris' little dilemma out of his head.

It served a perfect distraction to the crippling inadequacy he felt his photography radiated, though, and if he could put off, or maybe even ignore that, then that had to be good news, didn't it? Because honestly, Dan just wanted to be able to say that he'd finished this, and preferably without it taking several hours.

He let out a sigh, glancing through the photos on his camera, of course, only to have a heart attack as he found his thoughts interrupted by the crunching of footsteps in what had been the silence and solitude that the forest had given him, which was precisely why he'd chosen to take his photos there, as opposed to out on the street or something, because this was hardly a social hotspot, and Dan was also cursed with the horror of not being able to focus on anything when people were talking to him.

"Hey!" He jumped a little, looking up, and finding himself fixated in the direction of the footsteps, and face to face with an all too familiar figure, and fuck, this seemed to be almost cliché now: a thought that had Dan somewhat sick.

"Phil?" Dan called out, his eyes widening a little, and taking this as a sign from God to give up on his 'photography' and go and socialise with Phil, because of course, human interaction was essential and it really wasn't like it was some Dan encountered in abundance.

"Nice camera!" Phil noted as Dan approached him, glancing down at the camera around Dan's neck, "are you doing some photography?"

"Well, I'd like to say I am," Dan trailed off, blushing a little, "but it's turning out pretty crap, so I've accomplished a whole lot more swearing than I have photography."

"Awh, no, I'm sure it's great," Phil insisted, his face softening a little, "I'm not an expert on photography or whatever, but still, I have eyes, I mean, I'm pretty blind actually - I need glasses, but I'm wearing contacts, so I can still see, so I can have an opinion."

Dan laughed a little at that, "I was never going to stop you from having an opinion," he assured him.

"That's good because I haven't even seen your photos and I know they're great." Phil was perhaps over confident in Dan's ability, but Dan reckoned he had little choice but to take it as a compliment, after all, Phil meant well, didn't he?

"What's with the Tesco bag?" Dan asked, sneakily changing the subject as he gestured to the plastic bag in Phil's hand.

"Oh!" Phil exclaimed, glancing down at the plastic carrier bag, "well we didn't have any food in, I mean, nice food, so I decided the perfect way to avoid doing my coursework would be to go out and get some. I mean, you need breaks when studying, don't you?"

Dan laughed at that, nodding enthusiastically, "of course you do!" He grinned a little, "you're on the right track, Phil, don't worry."

"I mean, it's nice weather as well, I just had to go outside, and I mean, you can get inspiration from the trees and nature, and people you bump into, like you." Phil smiled a little, his tone growing quieter.

"I'm really glad it's not raining," Dan admitted, "the only good thing about today is my hair."

"You know I prefer it curly-"

"And you know you're wrong." Dan rolled his eyes, instinctively reaching up and touching his hair, "it's like you, you wear glasses instead of contacts for a reason-"

"Contacts are just easier, that's the main reason, also I'm really good at losing my glasses. I imagine straightening your hair everyday isn't easier-"

"Phil, stop talking because you have a point and I don't want to hear it." Dan exclaimed, gaining laughter from Phil where he certainly hadn't expected it.

"You're cute," Phil said, seemingly out of nowhere, leaving Dan a little dead inside.

"I am?" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, now come on, you should show me these photos, and you can prove me right in thinking that they're amazing."

-

Dan shrugged a little, blushing, hating how he was always so self conscious about his work, about anything and everything that might ever matter, but truth be told, he just couldn't help himself. The practice was wired harder into his brain that the English language, and Dan was perhaps anything but optimistic.

Phil took note of Dan's change in demeanor, sighing a little, and pulling a small, reassuring smile onto his lips, "you don't have to, of course, I'm just curious."

"I'd rather show you when I'm done, you know, when I've had the chance to make sure they're perfect." Dan explained, blushing a little, hating every single inadequacy about himself in that moment.

"They don't have to be perfect." Phil smiled up at him, "but whatever you're comfortable with, I mean, there's nothing saying you have to show me at all, I just... I'd like to see, you know?"

Dan nodded, "it's okay. I will." And in the very moment that he made that promise, he found himself regretting it.

"Do you want me to go, so you can have some space to finish?" Phil asked after a moment of silence passed.

Dan shook his head before he had even really processed what Phil had said; he'd simply heard the word 'go' and an instant negative response had been sparked in his brain. "No..." he sighed, wondering just what to say, what he even could say, as opposed to what he was 'supposed' to say.

"This is an excellent excuse to keep me away from my coursework, and I like spending time with you, so, I'm more than happy to stay," Phil announced, meeting Dan's face with an unfairly beautiful smile, like fuck, the sun could go the fuck home, because Phil's smile seemed to be lighting up the whole world, at least for Dan anyway.

Dan smiled a little in response, watching as Phil sat down a couple of metres away from him, watching as he turned his camera back on.

"You know, I don't know an awful lot about you, Dan," he commented, opening the Tesco bag and starting a pack of biscuits. "I don't even know your last name, for a start, which is kind of ridiculous, seeing as we're friends, and we are friends, aren't we?"

"Of course we are." Dan nodded, looking up and smiling a little as he noticed the way Phil was all so casually munching on the biscuits. "It's Howell, by the way. Dan Howell."

"Phil Lester." Phil added, smiling awkwardly as he did so, because this was their first proper introduction but they already knew each other in a weird, sort of unplaceable way. "And I'm seventeen, and you're sixteen right?"

"Yeah," Dan nodded, finding himself just a little distracted, but talking to Phil was perhaps the only thing he actually found himself wanting to do. "I'm in year eleven," he added, "so I think you're only a year older than me, so it's not weird-"

"Why would it be weird?" Phil asked: his face so soft and oddly innocent, despite him being the older of the two, and by no means stupid, or even particularly childish.

Dan blushed again, resorting to a shrug in the place of a verbal response.

"It's not like you're twelve or something." Phil continued, laughing a little, "we're practically the same age, you know?"

"Yeah..." Dan trailed off, "but you're in college and I'm in school."

"And what difference does that really make?" Phil asked, genuinely a little confused, "I'm not that old, Dan," he played it off with a laugh, watching as Dan's face mirrored his.

"I just over think things sometimes." Dan admitted, biting his lip. "I always assume the worst."

"That must be horrible," Phil's voice filled with a genuine kind of sympathy that Dan found himself perhaps depressingly unfamiliar with. "But trust me, Dan, I only think the best of you. I'd like to get to know you more. Maybe we should arrange to meet one day, you know, when we're both not just using one another as an excuse to procrastinate and not do homework."

"Yeah," Dan nodded, laughing a little as he glanced down at his camera. "I can't concentrate with people around. I just don't want you to go, because I really want to see you again, you know?"

"Hey, you will." Phil exclaimed, getting up, "we could meet up at the weekend? Add me on facebook and we could talk about it, but I think you should get these photos done. I don't want you to fail."

"Yeah," Dan had to admit that he was right, "I will."

"You could even send me some of those photos, if you want-" Phil cringed, knowing how that sentence sounded out of context.

"Or maybe I'll just show you them at the weekend, then you actually have an incentive to hang out with me again."

"Oh, Dan, you know I don't need an incentive."

And Dan did know that, the conscious part of his brain did at least, but there was this great chunk of his existence that was utterly adamant in not believing a word.

-

this took a little while to update but here we are !!! ayy i hope u enjoyed !!! votes and comments would be cool !!!! lov u pals !!!