The weather has started to get warm again.
Spring has come,
And summer is fast approaching.
I always get a happy, excited feeling when the warm sunny days come.
But this year I am, well,
Kind of worried.

This past winter and autumn, the months have been wasted,
Taken over by my mental health issues.
And I wish I could just press rewind
And redo the past six months before diving into spring and summer

I believe I can maybe do better these next few months.
But it could also be worse than I can imagine.
Who knows.
Last year was the best spring I had ever had;
This year could be the worst.
I could maybe find a way to change things, make things better,
But I know
I know things can't be the same as they were before,
Before I ruined everything,
Smashed my own life to bits.

I am a bit worried that this spring I'll be drowning in nostalgia,
I won't be able to focus on anything, just consumed by memories.
I'll just have to try not to dwell on them, I guess.
I'll look to the days ahead instead of longing for the past.

...I don't know if I can do it though.

I know I've said it before, but...
I miss you.

I miss us.
I miss me too.
I miss the person you fell in love with.
I wish she'd come back.
What happened to her?
What happened to me?

Oh well,
This spring I'll try to keep my chin up,
I'll do my best not to mess up again.
I'll try to find that bit of happiness inside.
I think it might still be there.
If it is, I'll find it,
And I will use its flame to light up my path.
And maybe...
Maybe I'll find your heart again.
But even if I can't have you again, I will keep going,
I will at least try.
I'll try to make the rest of this year
A year that I won't regret so much.