I woke up to find Milo at the foot of my bed, arms crossed over and face frigid. His finger tapped on his arm as he stared at me, and I whined, cowering beneath my doona. I heard Milo scoff, the blanket soon wrenched from above me and thrown onto the ground in a heap.

"Nooo, it's too early for me to get yelled at," I complained, flapping around on my bed, burying my head under my pillow. My voice was muffled as I whined, my wings slapping at my walls.

"It's the afternoon, and after what happened last night we need to have a serious talk!" Milo argued angrily, grabbing my ankle and tugging me out from under my pillow. I grumbled to myself, but rolled over onto my side, giving Milo the meanest look I could muster in my state of minimal consciousness. Milo just exhaled sharply, sitting on the edge of my bed, hands in his lap.

"I'm serious, C," Milo said, voice a tone softer now. I huffed, blowing a wayward strand of long hair from my face. "This is serious."

"Poo. You know I hate being serious."

"Shut up. Look, what happened last night was..."

Terrifying. Crazy. Ridiculous. But also badass as fuck?

"The flying? Yeah, how good was tha-"

"I don't care about the flying!" Milo said loudly, before pressing a finger to his temple, as if rubbing it would push out the tension in his body. From where I was lying down, I could see the taut planes of his back, the rigid curve of his spine, the fidgeting of his arms as he twiddled his fingers together. "It's not... It's not the flying. It's the fact that you could've been seriously hurt, C."

"Oh, right," I said, pulling myself up to sit cross-legged. Poking Milo's back to get him to face me, I was startled to see a distraught expression on my best friend's face.

Oh no, this is so much worse than him being mad. I'd rather Milo be mad than sad.

Guilt clambered its way up from my chest and into my throat at Milo's expression, the two of us submerged in silence.

"Sorry," I eventually mumbled, Milo's eyes darkening. "I... I guess it was pretty scary for you, huh."

"Me? Scary for me?" Milo said, laughing dryly. "Of course it was scary for me! It was terrifying! When I came back, you weren't at the bar, so I figured you were dancing, or with Geoff and Gia. But then I saw your shots, and there were still some left and you never just leave without finishing your drinks. Then the bartender said something about that rapist, and then Gia called and I thought that you were... would..." Milo groaned something unintelligible, running his fingers through his hair. "What scares me the most, though, is that it doesn't seem scary to you."

"Well, everything turned out okay, didn't it?" I offered, pushing a smile towards Milo, which was shot down quickly.

"That's not what matters here, C! You could've been seriously hurt. And... and I'm not blaming you for what happened, I'd never blame you for what that guy tried to do, but I just need you to understand that this is not okay! You're... You always act like these things are okay, and you don't realise when you're in danger, or when you could seriously hurt yourself, and that's really fucking scary!"

Milo's voice was rising rapidly, his hands moving in the air in erratic movements that coincided with the fierceness of his voice. Fierceness that was just a fragile vase holding a whole lot of fear. Seeing the way I was frozen at his words, Milo faltered, eyes dropping to the bed. Taking a deep breath, Milo forced himself to calm, but I could tell that he was still riled up by the way his leg kept bobbing up and down, making my mattress shake rhythmically.

"I know you're brave, C," Milo said, the small smile on his face a little faraway, as if it wasn't meant for me but for himself. The smile dropped when he finally lifted his head to look me in the eye. "I just... I just don't want you to mistake stupidity for bravery."

"Should I be... flattered or insulted?" I asked, Milo barking out a laugh.

"Insulted, if that gets my message across," Milo said, giving me a wary smile. "You're not a superhero, C. You're not... invincible. You're just you."

"Just?" I asked, scoffing as I shoved Milo playfully. "Okay, now I'm thoroughly offended. What do you mean just,  huh? Am I just a dude? Am I just your best friend? Jeez. I'm wayyy more than just. Just look at me, dude!"

Milo shook his head, laughing as I slung my arms around his shoulders in a loose hug. Milo breathed in deeply, wrapping his arms carefully around my waist, nuzzling his head into my shoulder.

"Don't scare me like that again, okay?" Milo murmured against my shoulder. 

"I'll try," I said, but when I felt Milo's eye roll, I knew that he had picked up on my lack of a promise.

I could never say no to a terrible idea.

***

"Yes-" I said, excitement building inside me at the idea Geoff had proposed. Milo's head snapped towards me, flickering between exasperated, resigned, incredulous and downright mad. Milo's hand thumped on the dining table we were seated at, our glasses of iced tea wobbling on its surface. Gia was in the other room chatting to her mum about why they were at my place; she had been furious, until Gia had strategically dropped Milo's name into the conversation, and suddenly her mum was all smiles and planning a wedding. Gia had just rolled her eyes, flipping us all off as Geoff and I whispered snide comments behind her, choosing to finish the conversation out of ear shot.

"No," Milo said, looking like he was two more words from ripping his hair out. "That's a terrible idea!"

"It's a terribly fantastic idea!" I sang, jumping up to bounce on the couch. 

"What happened to accepting that you're not a superhero, C?!" Milo countered, giving me a probing look. 

"I didn't agree, per se," I stretched, Milo's forehead vein throbbing. "Oh, come on. It's not like Geoff is telling me to go save the world or anything! There aren't going to be any alien invasions any time soon, and no cackling supervillains terrorising our happy little suburbs. Heck, the worst villains we have around here are the wild Karens and shit."

"And those vegans that have been camping in front of the butchers in the plaza," Geoff added, making me nod in agreement. "I mean, I got nothing against vegans, just don't like those vegans. I'm still scarred from that one time this dude dumped pigs blood on me after I came out buying some beef for my mum. My mum nagged at me for days because she couldn't get the stains out of my clothes."

"So what, would you be hero-ing against... Karens and vegans?" Milo asked, repulsed by the  idea. 

"Not just Karens and vegans," I said, giving Milo a shy smile, his mouth twitching in response. "Like, I could deliver groceries to old people. Or rescue cats stuck up trees. You know, friendly neighbourhood birdman stuff."

"Birdman," Geoff choked, slapping his knee hysterically. "I can't, I can't, that's horrific."

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" I huffed, a little miffed. I recognised that Birdman was pretty bad, but not that bad. I had spent a few nights scrolling through wiki pages, and all of the cool avian-themed superhero (or villain) names had already been claimed. The very appropriate Magpie was already taken. Even truly horrific names like the racist Aryan Eagle were taken. If names like that were already  trademarked, what the heck was I supposed to do?

To be fair, Bird Man was already taken - hence the removal of the space. Because, originality.

"Uh... Wing something? Something wing?" Geoff offered up, shrugging.

"Wicked Wing," Milo mumbled, in reference to his stupid obsession with KFC food. 

"Sounds edible," I replied flatly.

"Wildwing, Fleetwing, Wingthing, Winging Wang, Wing-dong-ding-dong," Geoff rambled, shoulders shaking more and more with each name. I glared at Milo, who I could feel biting back his laughter, my wings tapping against my chair in annoyance.

"You're just taking the piss out of this now, aren't you?" I cursed, slumping in my arm chair, draping my wings over the backs of the adjacent ones. "If you guys don't have any better ideas, I'll just stick with Birdman, thank you very much."

"Oh, please. Birdman my ass. More like Birdboy," Geoff snickered, making me shoot him a sharp look, my wing stretching to try and slap his face. Geoff just laughed as he numbly leapt off his chair in a showy flip while pulling out the one next to him, landing on it expertly. Milo and I blinked at our friend, who just balanced on the hind legs of his new chair nonchalantly.

"Please teach me that one day," I said, Geoff frowning.

"Teach you what? My naming technique?" Geoff teased, and I flipped him off. "Ooooh, flipping the bird, are we? Nice."

"I hate you," I grimaced, crossing my arms and folding my wings, attempting to hide the amused smile from my face. "That's racist. Birdist. Animal cruelty."

"Milo, do you understand him? All I hear is quack," Geoff chortled, Milo mid-sip of his drink and choking on it. Good, you deserve it. Choke.

"I reiterate - I hate you. Both of you," I said, though my smile broke through my poor attempt at schooling my muscles. "Anyway, I need a name, guys. Heroes have to have a superhero name."

"Well, your mum did name you after a bird already, didn't she?" Geoff said. "Like after ducks or something?"

"Doves!" I said quickly, flinching. "Doves, Geoff. Jeez. I was named after doves, not bloody ducks!"

"Sure, Ducky," Milo said, making me slap him with my wing, his reflexes not as quick as Geoff and my feathers hitting him in the cheek. 

"Well, anyway, Dove is already taken," I said, grinning. "Both the he and the she versions are hot. So, see? My name is actually cool, if there are already hot superheroes named after it."

"You could always chuck a colour in there, like Black Hawk or Green Falcon," Geoff suggested, scrolling through his phone for inspiration. "Black has been a very popular choice. Black Dove isn't the best, but it's better than the other options."

"Yeah, only because the other options have included crap like Wing-dong-ding-dong," I groaned, dropping my head to the table.

"Black Dove isn't actually too horrible, don't lie," Geoff said, and I conceded with a tired shrug of my shoulders.

"You're not seriously considering this? For real? Culver being a... a... superhero?" Milo said, naturally husky voice low. 

"Well, with great power comes great responsibility, apparently," I said, Geoff giving me a high five from across the table.

"And besides, all he's going to be doing is helping cull the violent vegans and maybe help some old ladies on the way," Geoff said, clapping slowly. "Our friendly suburban Birdboy."

"Birdman," I groaned again, before sighing. "Or Black Dove. Black Dove is actually our best option right now, that's so sad."

"Even though it doesn't sound... overtly dangerous, I still don't think this is a good idea," Milo urged, ignoring Geoff and I. "It's still dangerous for you to... fly around in full view of everyone! It won't take long for them to figure out who you are, it's not like a pair of glasses is gonna hide your identity."

"Ah, that's where I come in," Gia laughed as she entered the dining room. "You know, I was in a bit of a creative rut with my designs, but seeing you I've become re-inspired." Gia clacked her nails on the dining table, tilting her head to observe me. "It'll be a little out of my normal style, designing something for a superhero, but I'm nothing if not versatile."

"You gotta make me look badass," I said, nodding eagerly, Gia grinning widely. 

"Well, I was thinking about this before, but there is an issue of getting clothes that can fit around your wings, but also make it easy for you to tuck 'em in and get them out. You know, without them getting caught on your clothes."

"Shirtless is always an option," Geoff said, Milo giving him a harsh look. "Don't look at me like that. It makes sense! He can wear pasties or something if he's shy about his nips being out."

"My superhero costume is not going to be pants and pasties, Geoff, jeez," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "But just to clarify, I'm not shy about my nips being exposed. I just don't think it would be very appropriate when I'm saving old ladies with my tits out."

"Yeah. I am all for the pasties, just not in this particular case," Gia said, and I nodded in agreement. "I was thinking something more on the lines of the top part being backless? Slits in the top wouldn't work because of the way your wings pop out, and having cut outs just looks weird."

"That's not a bad idea," I said, scratching my chin as I picture it in my head. "That's probably the easiest way. Plus, it's kind of a look."

"Right?" Gia said, puffing her chest out in pride at her idea. 

"But it has to be functional," Milo suddenly piped up, looking grumpy but resigned. We all turned to him curiously, my best friend frowning at the stares. "What?  I'm not happy with you doing this whole hero thing, but like hell I'm just going to let you run wild. Someone has to watch over  you."

"Okay, guardian angel. I see you," I laughed, enjoying the warm, fluttering feeling permeating my chest. 

"Ugh, I regret going along with this already," Milo muttered under his breath.

See? I love terrible, terrible ideas.