"Culver! Culver! Wake the hell up!"

Alert, I quickly opened my eyes, wincing when light pierced them. The unrelenting hands shaking my shoulder detached themselves as I sat up, hastily turning towards their source.

"What's wrong?! Do I have skin wings?! Please don't tell me I have skin wings!" I yelled, worried that the nightmare I had just woken from (where I indeed had skin wings and Milo was maniacally trying to hack them off with a chainsaw) had become a reality. Twisting my back and flexing my wings, I choked on air as I saw them. "Holy shit."

Definitely not skin wings.

My wings flexed as I instinctively stretched them out, Milo letting out a shocked noise as they unfurled fully. What had been a terrifying, bony skeleton last night had turned into something else entirely. The bones were covered in ebony feathers, which caught the sunlight drifting through the window. As the feathers tracked down  to the ends of my wings they slowly melded into pristine white, the sheen on their surface catching the light like fractals. 

I moved one of my wings forwards so I could easily touch it, running the pads of my fingers across them. They were soft as down, incredibly smooth, almost like they were coated in silk. 

I couldn't help the wide smile that crept its way onto my face. They were...

"Badass-"

"Beautiful," Milo whispered, his eyes wide. He seemed to catch himself, clearing his throat as he  ran his fingers through his hair. His embarrassed expression made me grin, and I shrugged, my wings flexing as I did so, the feathers ruffling.

"Bewitching," I said, wiggling my eyebrows. Milo snorted, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

"Breathtaking," he said after a moment, looking up from the air mattress on the floor, slight curve to his mouth.

"Brilliant."

"Beguiling."

"Bomb," I said, Milo giving me an incredulous look, clearly unimpressed with my choice of adjective. "Dot com. Heh."

"Banging," Milo said, his smirk making me roll my eyes.

"Bootylicious," I countered, making me wings flap up and down, as if they were dancing. 

"You're an idiot," Milo said, laughing. His eyes regarded me with mirth, his head tilting to the side as he looked over my wings. His fingers twitched where they rested on his crossed legs.

"Wanna touch?" I asked, extending one of my wings towards him. Milo blinked at them for a second, before turning to look into my eyes.

"Can I?"

"Yeah, of course, you idiot," I said, laughing, shaking my wing in front of his face. "Just don't grope my girls too much. They're shy, you know."

"Shut up," Milo said grumpily, reaching a hand out to press against the slope of my wing. Now covered by the feathers, I couldn't feel the coldness of his hands, just a light pressure where he glided his hand down, petting me like a dog.

"Woof," I said, gloating when Milo gave me a startled look. "What? You're petting me like a dog right now, what else am I supposed to say?"

"Tweet tweet or something," Milo huffed, taking his hand off my wing to cross them over his bare chest. "Or quack. Ducky."

"You're mean," I said, sticking my tongue out as I made my wing slap Milo in the face, my best friend grunting as he was pushed back onto the air mattress. I cackled as he stared up at me with a look of pure betrayal, but squealed when he jumped up, jumping onto my bed to tackle my wings. I laughed wildly as we grappled, my wings flailing around, knocking the lamp off my side table and rattling against the walls. 

"Milo! Get off!" I screamed between laughs, Milo's hands deciding to attack my sides where he knew I was ticklish. Milo was naturally taller and stronger than me, and usually had no trouble overpowering me. "Get off! Get off! Get off!"

It was then that I grabbed onto Milo's arms, my wings beating in one synchronised motion, flipping the two of us over. Milo loosed a choked noise as I pinned him down, my wings spread wide, blocking out the sun.

Milo breathed heavily with exertion, his dark eyes widening a fraction as he stared up at me. His mouth was slightly parted, and I gulped when his pink tongue darted out to lick his lips. His arms, which I had pinned over his head, grew slack under my pressure.

"That's unfair," Milo suddenly breathed, eyes narrowing.

"Unfair?" I chuckled, letting go of his hands, sitting up. "All's fair in love and war, baby."

"Don't call me that," Milo groaned, kicking me off the bed. My wings softened my fall, wrapping around me like a cocoon and I laughed through my feathers.

"Hey, do you think I can fly?" I asked, getting up. As I did so, my wings caught on my curtains, and I yelped when the fabric and pole came tumbling down. Leaping to avoid the falling metal, my other wing bumped into my desk chair, which skidded across the room to bump into the floor lamp beside my desk. The lamp toppled down against my bookshelf filled with comics, paper tumbling onto the floor. 

"You can barely stand, how do you expect to fly?" Milo said, covering his mouth as he tried to smother his laughter as I flailed my arms around, trying to disentangle myself from my curtains. 

"Oh, shut up," I grumbled, slipping on the curtain edge that wrapped around my foot, letting out a pained groan when my already bruised ass hit the ground. "Ow... that hit right on the cheek I bruised in the shower."

"So, super strength maybe, but no super healing?" Milo mused, his face alight with amusement when I managed to find an opening in the curtain avalanche to pop my head through.

"Apparently not," I said, crinkling my nose. "I feel cheated."

"Wait," Milo said, voice suddenly serious. 

"What?" I asked, finally untangling myself from my curtains, throwing them to the side. 

"You... can put the wings away, right?" Milo asked, and I cocked my head to the side, looking back at him blankly.

"Oh, shit."

***

"How am I supposed to leave the house with these?!"

"Can't you, I don't know, retract them or something?" Milo said, popping a chip into his mouth casually. 

"How? They're just... sticking out of my skin!"

"Well, you clearly know how to move them around. Can't you just... suck them in?"

"Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now?" I shrieked, cursing when a wayward wing slapped against a pot plant in the living room. "Look at how big these wings are! How the hell can I fit them in me?!"

"Ridiculous? Says the person with wings," Milo said, rolling his eyes. "Quit complaining and just try pushing them back, okay?"

"Fine," I said, slapping my cheeks as I jumped up from the couch. Sucking in a deep breath, I grit my teeth and tried to will my wings to... be sucked back into me?

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

I could feel the veins on my forehead throbbing as I strained, the air in my lungs pushing against my organs and my face growing red. 

"Hnnng," I squeezed out, shutting my eyes as I tried to get the wings to retract, but all they did was stiffen. 

Bfft.

"C..." Milo said as I opened my eyes, breathing desperately as I tried to get the air back into my lungs. "Did you just fart?"

"Yes I did!" I yelled, cheeks red. I threw a decorative pillow at Milo's head, which he buried his face into, body heaving as he burst out laughing. "Don't laugh, you ass. Why don't you try optimus priming wings back into your body, huh?"

"Sorry, sorry," Milo wheezed, rubbing his eyes where he had apparently started to tear up. "I'm good, I'm good. Come over here and let me look at your back again." Following Milo's instructions, I lowered myself onto the couch beside him, crossing my legs. Milo, as always, touched me gently; his fingers first pushed some of my hair away from my back, his cold touch making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I shivered as his fingers slid down my spine, before branching out to touch the skin where my wings joined my body.

"So weird," Milo said quietly, and I trembled a little when he pressed his finger into the fold between my wing and skin. "The skin around your wings is kind of scarred, like it's a weird opening or pocket. It's not like your back is just torn open or anything."

"I'd bloody hope not," I said, shivering at the image of wings bursting from my back in a sea of blood, and the pain that would come with it. "So does it look like, I don't know, that it's made for my wings to go back in?"

"I don't know," Milo admitted, grabbing onto my wings. "Try to bring your wings back for me?"

"Mm'kay," I said, clearing my throat as I urged my wings to fold back, letting them be guided by Milo's hands. 

"Jesus, they're big," Milo muttered, making me snicker.

"That's what Lark said," I laughed. "You know, when she and I...." I made an 'O' with my left hand and jerked the index finger of my other hand through it, giving Milo a salacious wink.

"Don't need to know, C," Milo grumbled, poking my back roughly, making me jump. "And I've seen your dick before. Not that big, man."

"Fleety Jr is average! The blatant disrespect!" I bellowed, flipping Milo off over my shoulder. "Just because you're a fucking blue whale doesn't mean you can disrespect us normal folk!"

"Okay, pea-cock. Chill out," Milo said, waiting a beat for me to process what he had said. Whirling around, I gave him an incredulous look.

"You didn't," I gasped, Milo giving me a gloating smirk. "Pea-cock. You're kidding me."

"Pea-cock. A pea-sized cock," Milo reiterated, laughing when my mouth dropped even further.

"Excuse you. Fleety Jr is a fabulous, proud peacock, and he doesn't need none of your smack talk," I huffed, blowing a strand of stray hair from my face. Looking down at my crotch, I cooed at the mini-me down there. "Don't be disheartened, Jr. It's all about technique, okay?"

"You're so stupid," Milo snickered, grabbing my shoulders again to turn me around. "Now get your stupid wings back here so I can try to shove 'em in."

"I love it when you talk dirty," I said, Milo choosing to ignore me as he gripped my wings, pushing on them as he tried to, literally, push them into my body. "Ooookay, ow, ow, ow, that hurts. I like it rough, but not that rough. Jesus. We need a safeword, dude."

"Do you want to be stuck with these out all the time? You won't be able to go out if you can't hide them, C," Milo said, making me slump.

"Alright, alright. Just... go slow and be gentle, okay? It's more romantic that way," I said, Milo roughly stretching my wing out. "Ow, ow, ow! Okay! Jeez, I'll stop."

"Good," Milo said, voice quiet as his hands kneaded at my wings. "Now shut up so we can figure out how to get these in you." Milo must have sensed what I was about to say, because he shut me down quickly with a harsh push on my wings.

Party pooper.

***

"In?" I whispered, eyes wide and watery. Milo grunted behind me, hands pressed against my back, which was coated in a sheen of thin sweat. His breath was laboured, and he sighed as he dropped his head against my back, exhausted. "All the way?"

"Yeah," Milo said, swallowing. We had been doing this for two hours now, and I didn't know much longer we could both last. "Does it hurt?"

"N-No. Just feels... full," I said, groaning as I sat up, Milo flopping back against the couch. "Kind of uncomfortable though. You know, like... if your junk isn't in the right spot in your underwear and it just doesn't feel quite right? I know we just got them in, but I honestly want to whip 'em out again."

"Well, I think we figured out the trick now, so if you want you can take them out," Milo said, smiling gently. "It's just us here, anyway." I nodded eagerly, rolling my shoulders and cracking my neck as I did what Milo and I had been practicing. 

Okay, feel the bones inside of you, Culver. Imagine them reaching out, spreading the scars on your back and...

"Ah, much better," I moaned, revelling in the feeling that washed over me. "I totally get why girls like taking off their bras when they get home. Freedom."

Jumping on the couch, I turned to Milo, a gleam in my eye. 

"Oh no, what are you thinking about now," Milo asked, cautious. 

"Flying," I said simply, Milo's face blanching at the terrible, terrible idea.

I always loved terrible ideas, though.

"Hell no."