Not only did I survive our first lunch date a la leaning waffle tower of pizazz, but here I am, going to a second lunch date with Shawn. My booth has a view of the front doors, and I can see Shawn walk through just on time, wearing his new team sports jacket.

"Hi Ellie," he says, sitting down at the table across from me.

"Hey," I say. I earmark my page and place P&P down on the table next to my lemonade iced tea.

"So, this needs to be quick." Shawn looks at me straight in the eyes.

"Oh." I swallow and nod. All my hopes have dissipated.

"No, no." Shawn shakes his head knowingly. "It's not like that. I have to get to the gym. Coach scheduled extra lifting before afternoon practice."

"I've been thinking about you, Elle. About us, maybe. Ah, I don't know." He looks around, awkwardly. I'm not used to this side of him. He always seemed so cool to me.

"About us?" I can't help myself from asking. "What about us?"

He's acting much more frazzled than at our last lunch.

"Well, it's so easy with us. And last year when you were in high school, I felt like I needed to be at college. No girls. Now, you're here and I think we should –maybe –I mean, I want to see you at the dance."

I am losing it inside my head right now. Shawn wants to see me? Like, actually. He didn't send the gram as a joke to be funny or because he was dared to by someone on the football team.

I concentrate on the patch of his jacket. I nod.

"So, what do you think?" Shawn's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"I don't know if I'm going to the dance," I blurt out. "I mean, I'm not sure I was going to go."

"Will you now?" Shawn asks. His head is tilted in, down, toward me. I breathe him in. "Come to the dance?"

"I will think about it," I smile. I'm not trying to be coy. I just can't focus on anything else right now. I'm blindsided.

"I like my chances," Shawn says. "Look, I have to run. Thanks for meeting me. Sorry it couldn't be breakfast for lunch again."

"No worries." I shake my head.

"I'll text you. Promise. Oh, and Andre and Joe say hey."

He smirks before standing and leaving. I'm left choking on my own words of goodbye. I don't understand this right now.

How do I feel about Shawn? I've always liked him. But now? Now how do I feel? These things don't happen to me! Shawn is cool and hot and an athlete. I am bookish and scholarly and can't play sports to save my life!

...

The next few days are a blur. I wake up for my morning routine, I go to class, go to dinner with Lucy and Darren or Nikki and Chloe. We make one late-night trip to the diner for shakes and fries. Fuel for a pop quiz I have in Lit. Shawn texts me casual things. Now he's asking what I'm doing this weekend. As if I know. It's only Thursday night!

Actually, I do know. I'm studying and writing my first paper of the semester: An Ode to Tragedies of Ancient Greece.

I try to print the assignment rubric, so I don't have to look at it on my tiny phone screen, but I realize I am out of paper. I glance at Tasha's desk, which shows no sign of collegiate life anywhere. Shoot. 9:49 PM. I have eleven minutes to make it to the bookstore and buy a pack of computer paper.

I slip into my black sweatpants and college hoodie. The mirror shows me I look a mess, especially with the topknot on my head. Oh well. I slip into my snow boots and grab my lanyard. It's a short walk across the mall lawn, so I'm hoping I won't see anyone. Or no one will see me.

The sky is starless, but light thanks to the moonlight reflecting off the snow on the ground. It feels like the whole outside has a light on. The streetlamps illuminate the pathway to the bookstore.

The warmth of the inside engulfs me like a cozy blanket. I'm tempted by the sweet aroma of fresh coffee and sugar, but I sidestep the coffee bar and go right for the computer supplies aisle. It's easy enough to find the pack of paper my printer needs. I grab some more lead pencils too and colored pens. Can never be too careful in case one runs out.

"Anything else?" The guy behind the counter asks, ringing me up.

"That's it," I tell him.

"Have a good night." He hands me my bag.

"Thanks!"

I can see the snow falling through the glass walls. It shines under the streetlamps. The lawn looks even more deserted now, a frozen ghost town. Sure, I only saw maybe twenty people on my way over here but peering outside now I see only one other person. A silhouette is in the doorway of the library that's situated center of the roundabout. The lamppost banners flap in the wind, lining the large stone steps lead up to the triple doors. Someone is standing on the top.

I push into the night and pull the drawstrings on my hood until it is tightly around my neck with no gaps for sneaky snowflakes to get in. It was foolish not to wear a coat out tonight! The flakes are nipping at my cheeks. I try to quicken my steps so I can make it across the lawn in record time. When I readjust my grip on the plastic bag, my phone slips from my hand and crashes against the pavement.

"Ah, ugh!" I grumble to myself. I bend to pick up my phone when I see feet stop next to mine. Black Chuck Taylors.

"Fancy meeting you here." A voice says, exhaling a cloud of cigarette smoke. It smells sweet like cherries. The butt drops to the ground, and he steps on it. An orange ember melts into the snow.

I jump back, startled. I look up and see Jake holding my phone out to me.

"Jake!" I gasp.

I look around and see that we are the only two people outside right now. The only two ghosts in this town. We are right in front of the library steps, just two black dots on the snowy lawn.

"What are you doing? What did you just hide away? Why are you out right now?" I peer up at him. He's stuffing something into the back pocket of his jeans.

"So many questions. Why are you out right now?" Jake repeats my last question. His eyes glint mischievously under the moonlight.

Suddenly an image of the condom gram flashes across my mind. I wonder if that's what is in his back pocket.

"Supplies," I say, holding up my bookstore bag as proof.

"Ah, of course. School stuff." He is almost laughing. I can practically hear the judgment in each breath.

"Well, we are at school. So." I roll my eyes and try to move past him. He's so irritating! Jake takes a step into my way.

"What?" I ask.

He rocks back and forth, hands in pocket. I realize he's hardly wearing clothes again –just a chunky Henley. Then again, I'm only wearing a hoodie.

"Let me walk you back," Jake says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Walk me back?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Relax. To your dorm. Not mine. Although, if you're offering..." Jake laughs at me again. At the look of sheer horror on my face, no doubt.

"You're a pig," I declare, folding my arms.

"You don't even know me," he says, pretending to be hurt. As if he were that vulnerable. "But I know you. So how about you let me walk you back."

I feel my cheeks swelling. I'm all warm and prickly. I could be wearing a bathing suit now and still be too hot.

"I can see my dorm hall from here, thanks." I try to keep my voice strong, confident.

"Can never be too safe. C'mon." Jake turns in the direction of my hall.

If he's going to walk in the direction I need to go, I don't see how I have any other choice but to walk alongside him.

"How's Tasha?" Jake asks.

"Really? I should be asking you that." I stare at him.

"Hardly know her." He shrugs.

There we have it. Confirmation. Casual romps with freshman girls in dorms are a routine thing for him. A recreational hobby.

"Could have fooled me." I try to tease.

"Is that... Oh my God, is that jealousy I hear?" Jake's tone startles me like a deer in headlights. It's like he reads me as well as I read all my textbooks.

"Please," I scoff.

Avoid eye contact. Jake is not the type of distraction I need to be worried about right now. And what would Shawn think?

"Hey, okay, okay," Jake says, resting his hands on his chest in defeat. Snowflakes have started to pile up on his eyelashes. God.

"Aren't you cold?" I finally ask, giving me an excuse for checking him out in his tight shirt.

"Aren't you?" He asks, eyebrow raised.

"Ugh," I roll my eyes. "What were you doing at the library anyway?"

"Library?" Jake asks, aloof.

"I saw you. On the steps." I nod. "Or did you not know that building was the library?"

"I was doing some extracurricular activity. Business if you know what I mean." Jake eyes me sideways, like he's not sure what he's seeing.

"Drug dealer. Cool. Very hip. Does Nikki know?" I try to remain cool, detached. Maybe he will think I don't care. Really, I don't think I've ever talked to a drug dealer in my life! Let alone at night, surrounded by vast emptiness and snow with no other living person in sight!

"Nikki knows stuff. But she doesn't need to know this," Jake says, eyeing me.

"Right," I say.

"Don't tell. My parents only let me off the leash because I stopped pulling." Jake shrugs.

"Like I care enough to tell." I cross my free hand over my chest.

"You might care," Jake says, smirking.

"You always act like this." I accuse.

"Like this? Like what?"

"All secretive. Double meanings behind everything you say. I don't buy it." I nod.

"Well, I'm not selling it." He acts defensive.

"You are."

"Okay, Miss Books. What exactly am I selling?"

I turn to face him, snow still spiraling down around us on the mall. "You're selling this whole bad boy wannabe persona."

"Maybe I am a bad boy. Not a wannabe." Jake's eyes look dark under the shadows. Yet, I don't feel nervous around him. I feel safe.

"I don't believe it," I say, quiet. I look up at him and I know it's not true. "I'm calling your bluff."

Jake looks at me and half smirks. He takes a step toward me and leans in so close to me I can smell his skin. My body reacts to his and he can sense it. "And I'm calling yours."

We approach the front doors. It's so bright under the extra lights.

Jake opens the door for me after I swipe my ID card to access after-hours. Somehow our walk has been 15 minutes already. He moves in behind me. I stop short and he bumps right into my back.

"Are you coming in?" I ask.

"Is this you inviting me in?" Jake smirks.

"No!" I squeak. "I mean, no. I was asking why you're coming in."

"Said I'd walk you back. We aren't back yet." He is almost pressed against me, and my breathing is becoming heavier. He knows.

We walk past the lounge, and I can see Lucy and Darren and sitting on the couches. Nikki and Chloe are in the quiet room with their books out, a rarity for them. I pray no one sees us walk by. I don't want anyone to get any ideas. We are at the stairs in no time and Jake follows up behind me. I turn down the hall, and he stops beside me at my door.

"Okay. I'm back." I turn my key in the door and keep one hand on the knob.

"What? That's it? No thank you?" Jake smirks.

"Oh yes, that's right. Thank you for saving me from all the danger. I couldn't have made it back without you."

This is not me. Jake brings this side of me out from the depths. I would never normally say these things!

"That's more like it." Jake lingers, his head tilted toward mine. His dark eyes look tired under the weight of his heavy eyelids.

"What? That's it? No you're welcome?" I tease.

"You are very welcome." Jake's dark eyes bore into mine.

Our heads are so close. I didn't even realize I was leaning into him, into his body.

"Elle," Jake says my name through his teeth, like he's holding something back.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"I want to kiss you," he says. "Really want to kiss you."

I part my lips and have a silent panic moment. Words fail me. My stomach tightens and not in a bad way. I keep playing Nikki's word of warning on repeat: I mean it.

"I won't," Jake says, shaking his head. I can see something building in his eyes. Sincerity, maybe. "Not until you ask me."

"You'll be waiting a while then," I smile, finding my voice.

He throws his head back and laughs under his breath, exhaling in a whistle. "Get inside safely, Elle."

Jake turns on the spot and walks down the hall.