"No no I'll be fine" Tae waved his hands at the younger who was following him.
"Are you sure? I'll stay outside okay, any problems let me know" Jungkook instructed.
"I'll be fine but thanks" Taehyung walked into the toilet and shut the door behind him.
He looked around and went to his cupboard, which was locked. He grabbed the key on top and opened the cupboard. He took a small bottle and down the contents in it while also swallowing a few pain killers.

Alcohol and pain killers should not be mixed but he couldn't care right now. He was in so much pain he could barely move and he just needed relief from these never ending fevers and shit. It was total misery and he needed to finish it, quick.

It had been a little while and there was a soft knock on the door.
"Hey Tae, are you okay?" Jungkook mumbled feeing worried as he didn't hear anything.
Taehyung looked at himself in the mirror and saw that his eyes widened a little bit, realising what he had just done.
"Shit" Taehyung whispered. "Y-yeah I'm fine, nearly done" Tae yelled looking at himself in disbelief that this is even happening.

He quickly went to the toilet and flushed it, washed his hands and walked out.
"So I was thinking, to get you some food, do you want to go downstairs so I can be in close proximity while cooking?"
"It's as if you're a body guard or something" Taehyung joked but Jungkook pouted at the remark.
"I'm worried doofus, don't be like that, I'm just trying to make sure that you don't have a seizure" Jungkook huffed.
"Okay stop pouting little baby" Taehyung brushed the younger's lip which was very soft, but quickly retracted his hand.

"Shit, Jungkook I'm sorry"
"It's fine" Jungkook quickly rushed away with a bright red face.
Taehyung mentally slapped his face in embarrassment but nevertheless followed behind, already feeling better than he did a little while ago.
"Damn that boys lips are soft" Tae mumbled to himself.

He trailed down stairs and sluggishly walked to the couch. Jungkook could see the boy in the living room from the kitchen so it wasn't a problem when he was making food.
"Do you want to sleep some more? Or maybe you could watch something while you wait?" Jungkook asked as he came to Taehyung with a glass of water placing it on the side.

"Uhm I just remembered, there's nothing in the cupboards so there's probably nothing you can make" Tae sheepishly rubbed his neck.
Jungkook frowned and sat next to the elder in the sofa.
"Okay, sure, do you want a take away?" Jungkook said not wanting to pressure the elder to talk.

"Yeah, here take my phone order what you want" Taehyung said grabbing his phone.
"No no I can get it, what do you want?"
"Seriously Kook you don't need to"
"I want to, let me pay, please. I hate owing people"
"Fine, thank you" Taehyung gave him a smile, damn this boy has a good heart.

They debated on what to eat and Jungkook ordered it to be delivered to the elders penthouse. They sat and watched some television for a bit waiting for the take away. Then when it came then two sat on the floor and began talking.

"Summer or winter?" Jungkook asked as he rested his head on the couch.
"Winter, when it snows it's so pretty and no one is around, it's a nice feeling" Taehyung stated before stuffing steamed broccoli in his mouth.
"Sunrise or sunsets" Tae then asked.
"Sunsets, because I like watching the colours change to the dark sky with the stars and moon. It's calming" 

Time passed and the two were chatting into the night. They watched a movie together with a safe distance in the way they sat. Taehyung was focused on the screen not knowing what else to do, he was antsy, and felt fidgety. His whole body craved something. Whether it is just for a cig or a sip of rum, anything.

He craned his neck to the side and saw the younger's head bobbing down a bit and his eyes slowly shutting, till all of a sudden his head fell down and his eyes were shut. Tae smiled softly seeing the boy let out heavy breaths while he was sleeping. He leant over and guided the boy down so he was laid out on the sofa. He grabbed the blanket which was only
covering the younger's feet and made sure it covers the whole body.

Tae studied the boys face, he was so pretty. The way his lips formed a small pout as he slept. His cheeks were slightly chubby and looked soft, with a faint pink to them. His nose had a small mole on the tip of it. His eyes were delicately shut. It made Tae's stomach warm just looking at him, and he wished he could say he hated it, but he couldn't. The boy was one in a million, he was everything Taehyung had ever wanted, but he felt like he doesn't deserve him and because of that he chose to ignore it.

Once he knew the younger was fully asleep, he stood up from his seat and walked into a spare room. He looked in the wardrobe and found a pack of cigarettes along with a lighter. He pushed through the doors which took him out onto the balcony and lit the cigarette.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the darkness and puffed it out again into the midnight sky. He looked up where the sky hung above his taking in the stars.
"Hey bub, I bet your disappointed in me, I know. For the first time in a long while someone is actually caring for me and my health and here I am fucking it up again" Taehyung laughed to himself, taking in another puff.

He continued blabbing to himself in the midnight sky, not even noticing the sound of the door opening. Seconds later Taehyung felt something on his shoulders.
"I figured you might be cold" Jungkook muttered.
"Jungkook?!" Taehyung tried hiding his cigarette, but it was obvious.

"It's fine, you've got this far" Jungkook rubbed the elders back gently.
"It's not what you think, It's...it's not an addiction" Taehyung sighed.
"I know I know, I'm not judging okay" Jungkook was quick to reassure.

"Why?"
"Why what Tae?" Jungkook gently asked as he leant his head against his palm, as his arms rested on the side of the wall as he looked at the landscape.
"All of this, just why? Jungkook I've known you for a few months and I know I keep questioning this but I just can't understand why you're being like this"
Jungkook kept silent cause he knew the elder wasn't done.

"I just don't understand any of this. You start work, and you help me when I was sick. You helped me when I was on the street, you've stayed with me after having withdrawals, and again you didn't judge me. And here I am smoking and again you're telling me that you're not judging, why aren't you judging? Why haven't you gone home yet? Why are you still looking after me? You're wasting your time, and I'm surprised you haven't noticed that. Go home, I'm a lost cause"

"A lost cause? Is that all you think of yourself? Taehyung, I don't want anything from you, I can tell you're struggling. You're battling your fight by yourself and I don't want you to, you don't need to fight by yourself. This world isn't just full of darkness, there is light somewhere and I want to help you find it. And no I don't have a full reason as to why, but I want to help you. I'm not going to judge you, I have no need to, everyone's coping mechanisms are different, and if this is yours I won't judge but I'll help if you'll take it"

Silence engulfed them, Taehyung was up in his head, taking in the deep smoke.
"How can you show me? My happiness was stripped away from me, I don't think there's anyway for me to regain my happiness again" Tae scoffed.
"It's okay Tae, you're not going to be happy straight away, but you can't let the past define you, it can't shape you as a person. Depending what it is you can keep it at arms length, but you need to let go"

"I can't let go" Tae whispered.