By your side

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The same evening Jimin and Yoongi where lying on their couch watching TV all snuggled up to each other. They had been watching a Harry Potter Marathon but it hadn't taken them more than ten minutes to forget everything happening on the bright screen. Instead they spent their time wrapping around each other and exchanging soft kisses. Every single kiss making Yoongi feel like he was floating around.

In all honesty. Compared to all his flings, even small things such as kissing felt hundreds of times better than all the sex he had had up to that point... and he had always thought that the sex he had was pretty damn good, but spending time with Jimin was just impossible to compare.

Still Yoongi wasn't blinded enough, to miss the fact, that Jimin seemed absent minded. His eyes fixed on a point right next to Yoongi's face, clearly zoning out.

"Is something wrong?" Yoongi asked softly, his hand caressing the younger's cheek.

Jimin shook his head a bit too hastily. "Don't mind me..." he murmured, avoiding eye contact with Yoongi who was lying right beneath him.

"Jimin... I know telling me about what you want makes you really uncomfortable, but if there is something on your mind you can always tell me. I won't be angry no matter what it is." He promised. Jimin nodded hesitantly burying his face in Yoongi's shirt.

"I know you like sex just like him... why don't you try anything on me? Why don't you want to sleep with me?" His voice was muffled by the t-shirt's fabric, but Yoongi still understood what he was saying quite clearly.

Being so careful of what all the things he could to wrong, he hadn't even noticed the way the other had started doubting himself. Even Jimin had met quite a couple of Yoongi's one night stands, in the past, especially since they had always shared the same room.

Still... ever since they had kissed for the first time, Yoongi hadn't even tried making a move on Jimin. They just kept it at stage one. Just kissing. And Jimin's mind was wandering bad places. Somehow he had convinced himself, that Beom had been right. That nobody would actually want him... not even Yoongi.

There were tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. They felt hot against his skin. But Jimin wasn't really focusing on that. Instead he was gasping for air, clinging onto the sheets, silently pleading that this would end soon. Beom hadn't even taken the time to prepare Jimin. He had used a bit of lube, rubbing it all over his erection, before simply pushing his dick in. Jimin felt dizzy. Everything burned. But this was normal.

To him gasping for air, digging his nails in his sheets and biting down his lip until he felt the metallic taste, had become normal. A reoccurring thing.

Just like the insults. They just kept coming like the sweet words a lover would usually whisper in their partners words. Just that they were anything but sweet.

"Did you gain weight again?" The disappointment in Beom's voice was audible as he squeezed the skin on the side of Jimin's stomach not once slowing his pace. "You really are starting to look like a pig, you know. You are getting all fat..." He slapped, Jimin's ass. Jimin winced but simply let him. "Your body is such a turn off... God... you really should never show that to anyone. So disgusting..."

A hand that wrapped around his arm, interrupted his thoughts. "Everything okay?"

Jimi stared at him for a couple of seconds not sure what to answer before slowly nodding. Fuck he wasn't even focusing on Yoongi. How bad of a boyfriend was he even, if he couldn't do such a simple thing.

"Did you hear what I said? You looked like your head was somewhere else."

Jimin slowly shook his head. "Sorry."

Yoongi smiled. "Don't worry. I just said that I have been so fucking happy the last three months. I love kissing you and being close to you and I just wasn't sure whether you were ready to take things further than that... sorry I didn't ask you directly. I didn't want to put any pressure on you. But trust me I've thought about it and I'd love to do more than just kissing." He placed the probably about 9654th peck on Jimin's lips a warm smile on his lips as he leant back, caressing Jimin's cheek.

"Do you want to go further?" The question was simple. It still took Jimin a couple of seconds to long to answer...

"...yes..."

Yoongi wasn't really sure whether to believe him or not. There was always so much going on in Jimin's head. So many things he kept racking his head over and he hardly ever voice any of them out loud.

"You know... I would really love sleeping with you, feeling you... tasting you... but I don't want you to pressure yourself into anything. If you don't want to do anything yet, take your time... You could make me wait forever and I would still be in love with you..."

Jimin stared at him for a couple of seconds before his bottom lip started wobbling and he sniffed, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He breathed out, before wiping his eyes with his sweater's sleeve. "I'm scared... I really want to make you feel good, but I don't want you to leave me..."

Yoongi frowned. Every time he saw Jimin this sad, was like a jab at his heart. He couldn't stand seeing Jimin like this. So distressed. So hurt.

He wanted the boy to be happy. That's all he could wish for.

He leant forward wrapping his arms tightly around the shaking boy's frame. "Shhhh it's okay... I'm never going to leave. I will always be right here by your side..."

He listened to Jimin's soft sniffling for a couple of minutes, soothingly rubbing Jimin's back, before it started ebbing away. Jimin was still clinging onto him, but his breathing evened out and his hands slowly stopped shaking.

"I'm sorry that I'm such a drama queen. I know I'm overreacting..." Jimin whimpered, pushing himself away from Yoongi to properly face him, his eyes slightly tinted red from crying. "Shit, I'm so much work." He rubbed at his eyes, like he was trying to hide the fact that he had been crying. "Sorry for being annoyed." Even though he giggled the words, it sounded anything but a joke.

"You're not overreacting... you have every right to cry." Yoongi sighed. "You used to be so quiet... that must have been painful. To bottle all of that up." Yoongi ran his hand over Jimin's hair. "It's not surprising that you're feeling like this now. It's not overdramatic. I'd even go as far as to say that I'm proud of how well you are handling everything now."

Instantly Jimin's mood seemed to lighten up, a smile forming on his lips. "Really? You are proud?"

Yoongi chuckled. Jimin was quite a sucker for compliments, always asking for more. It was adorable. On the downside, Yoongi couldn't help but wonder, whether this was Beom's fault as well. The reason Jimin kept asking for reassurance that he was good.

Nevertheless it was a part of Jimin. Another piece of what made Jimin Jimin. A part of Jimin that he loved just as much as everything else. A part of what made Jimin someone Yoongi adored this much.

"Yes I'm really proud of you. You're so strong. Such a good boy~" The last sentence was said half-jokingly, but still Jimin seemed to be beaming of happiness.

"Can I kiss you... like really?" Although he still seemed to be shy about it the compliment seemed to have given him a bit of a self-confidence boost.

"Of course." Yoongi smiled.

Quickly nodding before leaning down he pressed his lips against Yoongi's. Almost on their own Yoongi's hands found their place on Jimin's waist, as if it was only natural.

Although Jimin had been talking big before he started of the way he always did. Now that he was this close, the option of really kissing Yoongi right there, he felt anxiety building up in his chest. He was almost about to chicken out when he felt Yoongi parting his lips softly.

Expecting the kiss to get rougher Jimin instantly tensed up, his grip tightening around Yoongi's shoulders. Silently he told himself that he would be okay with this for Yoongi. He wanted Yoongi to feel good so he had to deal with this.

But instead of pushing his tongue in the way Jimin had actually expected, Yoongi sucked softly at his lower lip, keeping a rhythm of letting go before tugging at it in once again. One of his hands wandered up from Jimin's waist up to his hair, burying itself in there.

It felt good. There was nothing rough about the way Yoongi was kissing him. Not harsh movements, no pulling. Just Yoongi's lips sensually moving against his. Not really sure of what to do he tried his best copying Yoongi's movements, taking his upper lip, in between his soft plump lips.

He could feel the way Yoongi smiled into the kiss. Jimin couldn't help but smile too. This felt good. Warm. Nice. Just like Yoongi was. A soft sigh left his lips as his shoulders untensed and finally relaxed into the kiss.

Maybe it was the way Yoongi kissed him. Maybe it was because of the way Yoongi's hands soothingly ran over his body. Maybe it was because it was Yoongi. Maybe it was a mix of all of those, but Jimin ended up enjoying the kiss a lot.

So when Yoongi broke the kiss an unintentional whine left his lips automatically. Jimin's cheeks tinted red in embarrassment.

"Want to try something different?" Yoongi offered his breath heavy, his hand caressing Jimin's cheek.

Jimin, all ruffled hair and swollen lips slowly, nodded not really knowing what was to come, but still wanted to feel Yoongi's lips on his own again. He even forgot to be scared. He trusted Yoongi... he was sure that Yoongi wouldn't do anything, that would hurt him or make him feel uncomfortable.

Smiling at Jimin warmly, Yoongi pulled Jimin down into another kiss, his hands slowly running over his waist to his hips. Yoongi brushed his tongue against Jimin's lower lip, silently asking Jimin for permission, to which Jimin reacted by opening his mouth slightly.

A part of him still was scared but lust and his need for affection where slowly pushing his doubts aside.

A/N

I hope all the flashbacks aren't to confusing, but Jimin keeps comparing his past to Yoongi simply because he's scared of the two of them ending up like that as well