You Weren't Mine to Lose (Never Mind)
Lucky number seven! (For those of y'all who don't know, seven is the song the title of the fic is from)
"Hey, Nat."
"Hi, Bucky."
"No Kate?"
"Not yet."
Bucky glanced around the tiny theater. He was by no definition early−everyone else was already there−but Kate Bishop hadn't arrived yet.
She hurried in a few minutes later, muttering apologies about being late. They assured her that she wasn't late−the movie wasn't supposed to start for some time−and went into the theater, after a few impatient exclamations from Peter.
"Can they eat all of that?" Carol asked, eyeing the mountain of snacks that Peter, and Kate had teamed up to buy.
Yelena gave a dry laugh. "Carol, never question how much sugar they can eat."
Bucky had already decided to sit as far away from Steve as possible. This plan was completely foiled, of course, when everyone else got into the theater first and the only open seat was right between Steve and Yelena. (He could've sat in a different row, but that felt a little ridiculous; it was only Steve.)
"Jesus," Steve muttered under his breath after a minute. "This is going to be dark."
"I thought you read the book?" Bucky hissed back.
"I did!" Steve said. "But the book doesn't exactly show all of this. Just describes it."
In an attempt to distract himself from Steve, Bucky found himself glancing over at Yelena. The light from the movie reflected in her green eyes, turning them into miniature screens.
Maybe I don't like Steve, Bucky thought. I'd just been in a fight, or at least close to one. It's possible I was confused. Maybe...maybe I like Yelena?
As the movie progressed, Bucky decided that that must be the case. Or even if it wasn't, it couldn't hurt to test it out, right?
Right.
When the snakes were released into the arena, Steve jumped and grabbed Bucky's arm.
Don't react don't react don't react.
"Sorry," Steve whispered. "Just−got startled."
"It's fine."
"Is he going to kill her?" Thor yelped, near the end of the movie. "Loki! You didn't tell me—" he cut himself off. Bucky guessed that Loki had given him a Look.
"Yeah, wait," Tony chimed in. "Does Lucy Gray die?"
"Shut up!" Yelena snapped.
Quietly, so quietly they might have missed it if Tony hadn't stopped talking, The Hanging Tree began to play from the speakers in the back of the room. Bucky couldn't stop himself from glancing over at Steve, who was enraptured by the song.
The music was cut off abruptly by Snow's yell of rage. He lifted his gun and shot into the trees, apparently aiming to kill the birds who'd picked up the song.
Next to him, Bucky saw Yelena slip out of the theater. He briefly considered going after her, but after a moment Kate, who'd been on Yelena's other side, stood to follow her.
"See, it doesn't make sense," Loki whispered. "Because they say the snake that bit Coriolanus wasn't venomous, but the bite had two fang marks. Only snakes with venom have fangs. Otherwise it doesn't make any sense."
"Shut up, Loki," Valkyrie snapped.
Kate and Yelena slipped back into the theater. Yelena looked like maybe she'd been crying, and Bucky felt a spark of concern. Because I like her, he thought confidently. I'm worried about her because I like her.
The screen went black, and President Snow's voice announced "Sometimes, it's the things we love the most that destroy us."
The lights slowly flickered back on as the credits started rolling.
"That was crazy," Steve said. "I mean...that was really crazy." He looked a little shell-shocked.
Bucky followed him to the theater door. "Um...you go ahead," he told Steve, deciding to stay behind to talk to Yelena. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Steve gave him an odd look but nodded. "See you."
Bucky steeled himself and approached Yelena. "Hey, Yelena?" he asked. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Yelena looked at him weirdly. "What?"
"I mean...um, alone."
Yelena nodded, looking confused. Bucky led her outside the theater, around the corner where they wouldn't be overheard. "Um...it's a nice night." He cringed inwardly.
"Barnes, get to the point," Yelena snapped.
"Right, sorry. Um, you remember what Rumlow called me like a week ago?"
"Um...gay?"
Queer, actually, but Bucky wasn't about to rehash the whole moment. "Right. But...I'm not."
"Uh-huh," Yelena said. Bucky got the feeling she was getting impatient.
"I mean, I like girls."
"James, where is this going?"
Bucky threw all of the visions of exactly what Natasha was going to do to him if she found out about this into the dark recesses of his mind and kissed Yelena.
Yelena froze. Bucky pulled away.
"James Buchanan Barnes," Yelena said. "What the fuck?"
"I don't know!" Bucky yelped. Fuck, what the fuck had he been thinking?
"Did you just kiss me to convince yourself you weren't gay?"
"I don't know! Maybe!"
They stared at each other for a moment, and then Yelena slapped him. Hard.
Bucky flinched. He pressed a hand to the stinging side of his face. "I deserved that."
"Yes. You did."
"I'm sorry."
"You should be."
"I—"
Yelena cut him off, raising a hand to stop him. "Nope. I am so not cut out to deal with your−ah, fuck, what's the right word? −with your little gay panic right now."
"I'm not having a gay panic—" Bucky protested before Yelena cut him off again.
"Okay, well, I am," she snapped. Bucky's eyes widened. "So I am going home, and you can talk to Natasha about this, seeing as she's your best friend."
"Wait," Bucky said. "You're gay?" He mighthave forgotten about that detail in his whole "I like Yelena" plan. Fuck,Natasha was going to kill him.
Yelena sighed. "James, earlier tonight I kissed a girl who I've literally had a crush on forever. Yes, I'm gay."
"Fuck, Yelena, I'm sorry—"
"And I am done talking to you. Goodnight."
Yelena turned and walked away.
Fuck. Fuck, I screwed up.
Okay. Okay. Think about this logically.
1. Bucky had just kissed Yelena.
2. Yelena was gay.
3. Bucky wasn't even entirely sure he liked Yelena.
4. Yelena was definitely going to tell Nat about this.
That seemed like the most pressing problem, since Nat was very capable of killing
him. Hands shaking, Bucky pulled out his phone and texted her quickly.
B: Nat I'm really really sorry I know I screwed up I'm really sorry can we please talk about this before you kill me?
B: I know I fucked up
B: Please call me
With nothing else to do, Bucky walked home.
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