The beep of my alarm pulls me from a deep sleep. I'm lying on my belly and Thomas is spooning from behind. And as I try to move to get up, he throws his leg over mine, pulling me even closer to him.

"Go back to sleep." I chuckle, detangling myself from his hold.

"Do you need some help?" he murmurs.

"I remember the last time you tried to cook me breakfast." I turn to him, caressing his face. "I'm not sure you can be trusted around my bakery's kitchen."

"Right." He laughs, pulling me to him. "I'm good at washing dishes, though."

"I'll keep that in mind." I sit up, smiling when he groans in frustration. "What are your plans for today?" I ask.

"I'm meeting my parents at the hospital at ten for a quick visit, then if you have time we could all have lunch together." He sits up too, brushing the sleep from his eyes.

"I can arrange something."

"Lisa, about our talk yesterday." His eyes find me, and I look down.

"It's too early for that." I stand up to get ready for the day. "I'll come back at eight with some coffee for us. Go back to sleep."

Sighing, he waits until I meet his eyes again. "Have I told you I love being here with you like this?"

"Thomas..." I smile, walking to him for a kiss.

"Just saying..." he murmurs over my lips, pulling me back to bed.

"You don't play fair." I chuckle when adjusts his body, so he's hovering over me.

"Is that so?" He nuzzles my neck, getting settled in between my legs. He's only wearing a pair of shorts, and I love it when he presses his hardness to me.

My back arches when he pulls my silk nightgown over my head, and the cool air of the morning brings goosebumps to my body. His hand grabs my bare breast possessively and I moan when he softly rolls my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"You're so beautiful..." He fists a hand in my hair, clutching me to him. "So perfect. I can't stop touching you."

"I don't want you to stop," I murmur, my heart beating fast as his eyes meet mine. I want him to keep touching me forever. I think to myself, afraid to speak the words out loud.

"I love you." He looks deep into my eyes, his words hitting me full force.

Swallowing, I push beneath his waistband to get rid of his shorts. He knees in between my legs and when he's fully naked, I can't help but admire how handsome he is.

"I love you," I whisper.

"Take off your pants and spread your legs apart for me," he says, his husky voice reverberating deep inside me.

"Thomas, I need to go to work..." I smile when he raises his eyebrows.

He grabs my thighs spreading them apart. "Can I convince you to be a little late today?"

"Maybe..." I close my eyes when he slides his finger down my legs, playing with the hem of my panties. "How are you planning to convince me?"

"Would this work?" he whispers as fingers part my folds.

"Yes..." I moan, loving when he lets out a sexy chuckle.

In a fluid motion, he gets rid of my panties, squeezing my thighs in the process. Grinning, he keeps his eyes on mine until he catches my mouth with his own, sucking on my lower lip. Then, before I have time to kiss him back, he's bending down and sucking my nipple into his warm mouth.

My eyes close in pleasure when his hands reach down to cup the bare cheeks of my butt, and my lips part with a silent moan. I love his hands on me and the way he treasures me with every touch.

It's like without realizing it, he's erasing the touch of every man before him and claiming me effortlessly.

My hands find his shoulders and squeeze them before sliding down to his back and stroking over his hard muscles. "Thomas..." I feel my lower belly clenching and my desire for him increasing.

"Yeah?" He nuzzles my breast.

"I need you inside me," I whisper into his ear and he lets out a low growl, rolling us over so I'm on top of him.

His teeth catch the shell of my ear, making me moan when he speaks, "I want you on top."

My lips find his neck, and for a second, I get lost in how good he smells. But then, I adjust my body so I'm sitting up and straddling his tights. This has always been my favorite position and by the way his hooded eyes are looking at me, I'm sure he enjoys it too.

Grabbing his cock, I keep my gaze locked with his while I explore every delicious inch of him by learning what makes him tick. With one hand I slowly stroke him and with the other, I carefully grab his balls. The way his eyes close tight and his lips let out a soft curse let me know I'm on the right track.

"You're so hot... I can't stop looking at you sometimes. You got me completely under your spell." he murmurs, making me smile.

"Want me to stop?" I increase my pace, loving when he growls softly.

"You know what I want right now?" he asks, his voice husky and daring.

"What?" I pant, my nipples getting hard at the challenge in his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Turn around and straddle me backward." The tip of his tongue touches his lower lip as if he could already taste me. I feel my cheeks getting hot at the command in his voice, but I do as he says.

His hands grab my hips, yanking my sex down to his mouth and latching onto my clit. Pleasure rips through me, and I cry out when he eats me with everything he has.

My hands shake as I press them to his thighs and I wrap my lips around his cock, loving when he growls.

"Fuck." He gasps, his lips kissing me in the most delicious way.

I suck him harder, feeling my orgasm build as his groans vibrate against my clit. I've never felt so in tune, so one with someone as I feel with him right now.

My hips are working shamelessly, grinding my sex against his working mouth. My core is trembling with the need to come.

Fisting his cock, I pump him harder, lapping the surges of pre-cum that spill for him.

He's right there with me, his cock swelling with each stroke. "Fuck, I'm going to come."

"Yeah," I swallow his erection, the wave of an orgasm hitting at the same time he spurs inside my mouth.

Trying to catch my breath, I close my eyes, totally spent. Damn it, I'm so in love with this man.

*****

My morning routine starts as usual with me sanitizing the kitchen and mixing all the ingredients I'll need while getting everything ready for a new recipe I want to try.

Daniel and Chloe arrived a few hours later, and when I saw it was time to open the shop for the day.

Looking at the clock, I see it's eight-thirty, so I get the bagels and the chocolate cupcakes I baked for Thomas's parents and sister and head upstairs to have breakfast with him.

I find the living room empty and I'm about to call him when I hear him on the phone in my bedroom.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Ava," he says, making me pause. "I know what I've said, but I can't be there for more than two months."

Hearing the stress in his voice makes me pause. I have no doubt he's talking about traveling for work, and I wonder when he'll need to leave exactly.

"And you have no one there?" He shouts, startling me a little. "But you know how dangerous it is to put someone with zero experience coordinating such a dangerous thing."

I'm about to make my presence known when he continues, "You gotta be kidding me..." he snorts, so I decide to head to the kitchen

My hands work automatically as I get the coffee ready and set the table. I can still hear his muffled voice, and my heart breaks.

Of course, we could discuss a long-distance relationship, but I'm not sure it will work out in the long haul. Especially when it means him being anywhere in the world for God knows how long.

I've been single my whole life, pinning after a man who was clearly in love with someone else. Then there was that traumatic experience with that guy who tried to force me to have sex with him. And finally, me making the worst mistake in life thinking Greg, Alexia's ex, and I could be together.

I never thought falling in love again was in the cards for me. But then Thomas happened in my life unexpectedly, making his way into my heart so effortlessly, I couldn't help but fall for him.

He destroyed every wall I've built around my heart. And now, as much as he has shown me I am capable of being loved like this; my mind keeps telling me this relationship is doomed.

Because I want a family one day. A man I can come home to and kids filling the house. I deserve this. And it hurts too much to admit if I choose to be with Thomas, I'll just have pieces of him here and there.

"Hey..." I hear him from behind me, but I take my time cutting some melon.

"Hey," I say, focusing meticulously on my task.

His hands find my waist as he pulls me to his chest. "I guess you heard me on the phone, huh?" He kisses the top of my head, and I close my eyes.

"Parts of it." Tears start pooling in my eyes, but I don't allow them to fall. "Is everything okay?"

Instead of answering me right away, he turns me around, pushing me against the counter. "I'm going to figure this out." He cups my cheeks.

"How?" I press my palms to his chest. "I'm living my dream here with the bakery, I can't ask you to give up yours."

His eyes close for a second and his forehead touches mine. "I need to figure this out. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

"When are you traveling again?" I whisper.

"Sri Lanka has just suffered some devastating floods and landslides," he murmurs, pulling away to look at me. "The scale of the disaster is catastrophic for both people and animals."

"Jesus." I look away, my heart breaking for those over there.

"My team is recruiting all specialist vets they have because animals are injured, starving, and at high risk of diseases. Communities and people rely heavily on us..."

"You don't need to explain yourself." I cup his face, nuzzling my nose to his. "I get it."

"I'm sorry." He pulls me into a hug. "Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"Thomas." I get out of his embrace, needing some space to say what I need to.

"Lisa, I will figure things out." He tries to hold my hand, but I walk to the living room, cutting him off.

"I've never loved a guy as I love you." I meet his eyes, hating when it fills with unshed tears again.

"Don't do this." He shakes his head, his eyes frantically searching mine.

"You're one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met." I smile, unable to hold the tears inside this time. "But I could never ask you to stop what you're doing."

"Lisa..." He walks to me, but I stop him with a wave of my hand.

"You should go."

"No." He keeps walking until his body is touching mine. "I love you." He cups my face, his eyes shining with tears.

"Please, Thomas." I close my eyes, desperation hitting my heart so deeply that I feel my knees literally going weak.

"Give me a chance to figure things out," he speaks over my lips. "That's all I'm asking you."

"I'm not sure there's a solution for this." I cup his face. "I can't sit here waiting for you to come back and I can't ask you to give your life, your dreams for me."

"I'm not going to be with anyone but you." He pulls away. "But I can't ask you to do the same."

"What are you saying?" I take a step back too.

"I'm saying I'm going to back off and figure things out, praying that you'll have me when I'm back." He lets out a quick breath, and I frown at what he's proposing.

"But you don't know when you'll be back, right?"

"That's why I won't ask anything from you." He rubs his face, looking down for a second before meeting my gaze again. "Because I'm the dumbass who is leaving you behind, I know you don't owe me anything. But if after I work things out, you'll still have me. I'll be the luckiest man in the world."

"You're crazy." I let out a reluctant chuckle.

"And you love it." He gives me a small smile, one filled with sadness but with a hint of determination I've never seen before.

"When are you leaving?" I ask.

"Later in the evening." He sighs, and I close my eyes, unable to hide my pain.

*****

Work called me downstairs, and I was grateful I didn't have to see Thomas packing his things and getting ready to go. I told him I'd meet him and his parents for lunch later today. But I chickened out and canceled thirty minutes before I had to be there. I knew he would want to spend some time with his family before he had to leave, and I was not ready to say goodbye.

There were three missed calls and five unread messages from him on my phone, but instead of answering them, I texted Alexia and asked her if we could meet up at some point today.

She said she would stop by after work, which worked great for me since the bakery would be already closed. And now I'm here hiding in the back waiting for her while stuffing my mouth with chocolate frosting.

"Hello?" I hear her say. Along with Daniel and Chloe, she also has a key. She has just never needed to use it before.

"In the kitchen," I shout, and a minute later she's joining me.

"Why are you hiding here in the back?" she asks.

"Did you lock the door after you?" I pull a stool for her to sit.

"I did." She grabs a spoon and dives into the bowl of frosting. "What's going on?"

"Thomas is back. We had sex. He said he loved me. And now he needs to travel again for God knows how long." I sigh, stuffing my mouth with frosting.

"Whoah! What?" Her eyes widen. "That's a lot to process."

"I know..." I moan. "I love him, Alexia. I just..."

"Just?"

"I can't see it working out for us. He's constantly traveling and not ready to plant roots. And I can't and won't ask for him to quit his job for me." I look at her, wishing she had the solution to my problems.

"What does he have to say about all of that?"

"He said he's going to figure out a way for us to be together." I shrug, not really trusting it's possible.

"Do you think he'll be able to?" she asks the million-dollar question.

"Honestly?" I look at her. "I think he wants to find a way to make it work. I just don't think there's one."

"I really hope he proves you wrong." She squeezes my shoulder, a small smile on her lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Every man in your life has let you down. I hope he's the one to put you first," she says and I swallow past the lump in my throat.

The beep of my phone alerts me I have a message from him. "It's him," I whisper.

"What does it say?"

THOMAS: I love you! I'm not going to be playing hot and cold anymore. Next time we talk, things will be different. I hope you'll take me when I'm back."

I read the words out loud, unable to keep holding back the tears.

"Oh, honey," Alexia murmurs, pulling me into a hug. "Let's give him the benefit of the doubt."

I nod, the words lost deep inside me. Anyone else reading his message would feel like he's making me a promise. But for me, unfortunately, it feels like this is the end for us.

_____

A/N: I know!!!!!!!!!! *sigh*

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- Celeste