"Uhhhhhhhhh."

I cough into my fist, trying not to react.

"Ohhhhhhhhh."

I guzzle down my glass of water as a form of distraction.

"Ohhhhh, God. Yes!"

Yeah. This again.

This time I put both my hands over my face to conceal my horrified expression as Dani bites into the cranberry scone I just made. Her eyes roll to the back of her head in obvious pleasure.

"YES!"

Oh my God. How did this happen to me?

Actually, the answer is super simple albeit one hell of a surprise. After Harper and I made it back to my bakery and had a short lunch, she was entranced by the smell of baked goods and promised she was going to come back after her shift with her friend. That friend turned out to be Dani.

Yup. Totally not weird at all.

I was frozen in shock when the two of them strolled in late afternoon. Dani immediately ran over to me and threw her arms around me in a hug, not quite reading the room. I hugged her back gingerly and tried not to feel awkward or remember the way she'd kept me up all night just a month back. Because of Holden. Because she had sex with Holden. Raunchy, apparently incredible sex. Gah. Disgusting.

Harper noticed my expression first and asked what was wrong. That's when Dani finally caught on and burst out laughing.

"Don't tell me you still feel awkward because you saw me do the walk of shame from your neighbour's apartment!" She snorted in amusement.

Harper looked confused as hell. "You know Dani's neighbour?"

"Your boss, Harps. Keep up."

"You're neighbours with Mr. Rey?" Harper's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. Then her face contorted as she looked back to Dani. "You slept with my boss?"

Dani's only answer to that had been it's a long story and Harper looked like she was going to faint so she sat in a booth. I offered to whip something up because it was the perfect excuse to get some distance seeing as I was freaking the fuck out. Because, Jesus, how small was San Francisco? So I let the two chill out while I got lost in baking and tried not to feel overwhelmed by this confusing turn of events.

Except Dani still hasn't gotten a chance to explain the story because she's too busy moaning like Sir Whiskers over my scone and I can't, for the life of me, keep a straight face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Dani asks around a mouthful.

"No reason," I squeak. I have literally no friends and while these girls aren't exactly my friends, I'm not about to insult them when they're the only company I've got.

"You're not saying something," Dani accuses and wipes her mouth. "Harps, she's not saying something."

"You got secrets," Harper agrees. She raises a brow. "Why are you looking at Dani like that?"

I wave a hand. "Seriously. It's nothing."

"Awww," Dani coos. "You're such a bad liar. Don't worry. We can fix that. But first you better fess up."

"Spill," Harper adds, biting into her scone and doing her own little moan. I'm honestly considering changing my brand to Sierra's Orgasmic Sweets.

"Well?" Dani pushes.

"You moan like Sir Whiskers!" I burst and immediately slap my hands over my mouth. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Dani blinks, appalled. "Who the fuck is Sir Whiskers?"

"This should be good," Harper mumbles and sets her scone down, looking between the two of us.

God, I'm such an asshole. Sure, Dani slept with Holden and that makes me feel kind of prickly but she's actually a really cool chick. I don't want to give her something to feel self-conscious about. Why am I the worst?

"I'm sorry," I groan miserably. "The first night I heard you, you honestly sounded like my dead cat. He made those exact same sounds and I just can't un-hear it."

Dani gapes. "I sound like your dead cat? My moans are hot!"

"And I agree with that! It's just something I thought that first night and now I can't see it any differently. I'm literally so sorry."

"That...what...well, do you have a video of him or something? I want to be offended but I'm honestly more curious."

"You and me both!" Harper snorts through her laughter. "This is the best day of my life."

I wince and pull out my phone, opening up the photo album of Sir Whiskers and scrolling until I find a video. He's playing with a ball of yarn and he'd always meow a lot when he did that. I hit play, showing both of them the screen.

Sure enough, both of their expressions become horrified with realization. Dani slaps a hand over her mouth. Harper looks like she might faint again, but this time from laughter. I silently wish I was dead.

"Oh my God." Dani's eyes widen. "I moan like Sir Whiskers! That's totally my moan!"

"Why does your cat moan instead of meow?" Harper barely manages to ask through her wheezing. It's a good thing we're sitting in a booth or she would have hit the floor by now.

"I don't know!" I try to defend. "He was a total slut! All the cat moms in the neighbourhood kept their cats away from him. He just...oozed major sex appeal. I didn't even realize his meows actually sounded like moans until this moment. That's probably how he impregnated fifteen cats before he died."

"Fifteen!" Dani smacks a hand on the table. "I'll be damned! It is an honour to sound like that little whore. To Sir Whiskers."

"Hear hear!" Harper adds.

I look between the two of them. I have no idea what's happening anymore. "So...you're not mad?"

Dani snorts. "Honey, I'm not the problem. Your dead cat is. I had no idea cats could sound like porn stars but that was all him. If anything, Sir Whiskers sounds like me."

"That's actually true," I concede, lips twitching.

Harper points at me. "His name should have been Sir Dicks-A-Lot."

Dani shakes her head. "I would have went with Sir Pussy. Because he's literally a pussy."

"Sir Rock-Your-Bed."

"Sir Big O."

"Sir Long Tail."

"Because tail can be interpreted as dick!" Harper hoots.

Dani makes a face. "Harps, don't explain the joke, honey. It ruins it."

I snort into my glass of water and set it down. This is the last thing I expected to come out of my day but I can't say I regret it. Never did I think I would befriend Holden's conquest and his personal assistant without even meaning to but I have to admit, they're pretty awesome. I like them a lot.

But that just begs the question...

"So what happened with you and Holden?" I ask as casually as I can. "Are you guys seeing each other?"

"God, no!" Dani bursts out laughing. "Believe me, that was as one time as it gets."

"I cannot believe you slept with him!" Harper interrupts incredulously.

"Because he's your boss," I fill in the gaps for her.

"What? No. Because she hasn't slept with a man in years. I thought she was done."

It's my turn to be confused. "Wait, what?"

"I'm bisexual," Dani explains. "Up until I was a teenager I experimented with both genders and realized I liked girls more. Like, way more. I only occasionally get with men for the physical part of it but I've always been strictly romantically inclined toward women. Holden was probably the fourth dude I slept with and that too after years."

The pieces automatically fall together for me at her explanation and I'm taken back to that morning. "So, when you said you didn't know men could fuck like that..."

"I seriously didn't know," She finishes with a grin.

"What made you sleep with him?" Harper asks the question burning at the back of my mind.

"Tequila," She deadpans. "Kidding. There's this girl I've been talking to that I want to ask out and I want to be in it for real. Like, commit long term and consider her the real deal. Anyway I was out one night drinking and realizing that I could potentially be tied down soon. I sleep with who I want so I guess it hit me what a huge lifestyle change I'd face being in a committed relationship. Holden happened to be at that bar, he caught my eye, so I thought I'd go out with a bang and asked if he was down."

"You proposed sleeping with him?" I blink at her.

"Sure," She shrugs like it's something she does everyday. "Went right up to him, told him I thought he was hot, and asked if he wanted to fuck. He recognized me as Harps' bestie and said he didn't mix business with pleasure, didn't want the hang-ups and attachment yada yada yada, but I told him I wouldn't fall for him unless he had a vagina and I was only interested in his joystick for the night. Seemed to work."

I cannot process this for the life of me. "And he agreed?"

"Took some time to convince him but yeah. He's picky about the women he sleeps with, that much is obvious. I stuck to making conversation with him instead and he eased up for a while. One thing led to another and then he was easing into me."

That last part makes me chest do that weird thing again, where I feel it pulse with heat. I play with the rim of my glass and try not to analyze what the hell is up with me right now. "So, does that mean you want to do it again? If you liked it so much?"

"Not even close." Her mouth twists into a wry grin. "Don't get me wrong, it was some magnificent sex for sure, but nothing beats being in bed with a woman. I have no doubt he's the best kind of guy to get dirty with because he actually pays attention and puts women first, but nobody can please a woman like another woman. It's just science. I don't know how you guys can stick to sex with men when women exist. It's literally beyond my comprehension."

"When we get drunk enough I sometimes grope your tits," Harper tries.

"That just makes me feel worse, because my tits should be your bi awakening," Dani snorts and Harper becomes thoughtful in agreement.

I tilt my head. "So...it was just a one time thing?"

"Yup." She pops the 'p'. "It was a great night and I got it out of my system but tonight I'm meeting the cute girl for dinner. If all goes well she'll be my girlfriend this time tomorrow."

Huh. That actually makes a lot of sense. And that weird heat in my chest is gone. Not that I know why it was there in the beginning. I'm obviously coming down with something. The idea of Satan having sex makes me sick. It's too mundane a task for a creature like him.

"What I want to know is how you know him." Harper points at me.

I try not to bristle. "He's my neighbour."

"No. That's not it. You're too familiar with him. I mean, tons of his employees have worked for him for a couple years now and he still doesn't have that familiarity with us."

I hesitate, not wanting to cough up too much information. "We grew up together."

"Dated?" Dani inquires with wide eyes. "That explains the jealousy!"

"Jealousy? What jealousy?" I gawk.

Her grin is wolfish. "Don't think I didn't catch how you wanted the goods on us. Don't worry, honey. I don't ever plan on getting involved with him. I don't think I'm even capable of falling in love with a man."

"That's not...no. Hell no," I sputter. "It's not like that at all. We can barely be in the same room without wanting to scratch each other's eyes out."

Harper's brows go up in amusement. "I can't imagine anyone having the balls to have that kind of relationship with Holden Rey. I knew I liked you for a reason."

"He's not that intimidating. Well, he does come across that way, I guess. He's just a serious guy and doesn't have room for fun in his life. It's a wonder we got a long at all."

"And you two were friends?"

"For a while," I try not to sound bitter. "We drifted apart after some time."

"What happened?" Dani asks. Her brows are furrowed in genuine sympathy.

"Nothing, honestly. We just...drifted. He was this popular guy that always had all this attention and I didn't fit into his life. I used to be the fat girl and socially awkward so it just...we just didn't fit."

"You're kidding." Harper's eyes roam over me. "I'd never be able to tell. You're in amazing shape!"

"Ass for days." Dani holds a hand to her chest. "I'm kind of mad I slept with Holden instead of you."

Laughter bubbles out of me in the form of flattery. "Thanks. But trust me, I was a big girl. And secondary school has this way of making you feel like it's the whole world and everyone's opinion matters. And it was pretty clear what everyone thought of me and what they thought of Holden. We were on different spectrums and stopped being friends. He kind of became rude towards me so that didn't exactly help. Then we didn't see each other in twelve years since I moved across the hall from him and we still argue and bicker like children. Satan gets on my every damn nerve, that's for sure."

"You call him Satan?" Harper cackles. "You're really not scared of him at all."

"Too busy hating him," I snort then pause. "Well, not hate. Just a deep dislike. I don't know. We're kind of enemies, as lame as it sounds."

Harper and Dani exchange a look I don't miss. My eyes narrow accusatively and Dani's hands go up. "If you say so."

"What's that mean?"

"Well...I definitely think you didn't like the idea of us sleeping together. Again, it's nothing you have to worry about. Plus...I don't know...it's kind of crazy that after twelve years you end up being right across the hall from him. I just don't think something like that happens and not mean something."

"And I've never seen anyone talk to him the way you do," Harper adds. "It goes to show he lets shit slide when it comes to you and Holden Rey doesn't let anything slide past him so..."

"You're clawing at thin air." I shake my head. "We honestly can't stand each other. But it's okay. Not all friendships are meant to last."

"Well," Dani says after a beat. "Here's to hoping our friendship with you can begin. You know, because of the free desserts."

My chest warms as Harper and Dani raise their scones to me, making a big deal out of the whole thing. It's true that you lose friendships in life and you make new ones no matter how old you get. As I look at the two girls in front of me, I find myself hoping they stick around.

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A/N

How are you guys liking Harper and Dani?

What about the development of Holden sleeping with Dani? I'm sure most of you would think it's weird or that you could never be comfortable but personally I think it's hilarious and this shit happens in real life all the time.

Fun fact: it was loosely inspired by something that happened to a good friend of mine! Not entirely the same but it was definitely my muse and it's even funnier in real life!

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)