~Kaylen~

obmutescence /● n. becoming or keeping silent or mute.

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt so many things and had so much to let out but didn't have the proper words to say it?

Have you ever chosen silence over justifying something?

I have.

I felt like I had discovered so much in this short span of days and I needed to just tell someone about it. I needed to share my feelings, let them out somehow.

But I chose obmutescence. Because I knew nothing lasted forever, and I was waiting for just one signal that would allow me to pursue what I felt like I wanted to, what I felt scared of wanting to.

~Emerald~

I think my whole world just froze that moment. And not in a very good way either.

Did I just see my kid falling from the top of a tree? God, I swear I was blinded by rage for a split second. And in that split second, I decided to scream out loud.

"Both of you inside. Now."

Kaylen, with Jordon in his arms, turned around towards me with a startle. They both gave each other a look before the elder one put the younger one down and both started to walk towards me in a slow pace.

"Mr. Blake," Kaylen started but I gave him a look which immediately silenced him. I mean, I just went for a quick shower and when I return, that's what I see! Jordon is a kid, I get it. But what about Kaylen? He's an adult! Is he that irresponsible to allow a child to do such dangerous things?

"Daddy," Jordon began in a timid voice, sticking to Kaylen's leg as he looked at me with big fearful doe eyes. It was cute, but I wasn't buying that anymore.

"Jordon you're grounded for the week." I announced, earning a collective gasp from the both of them.

"Who grounds such little kids? They're supposed to have fun!" Kaylen protested but I continued to narrow my eyes at him.

"Oh, so you're going to teach me parenting now? A person who still lives with his own parents?" I countered and his demeanor changed, immediately making me regret saying it. He began looking like the Kaylen who I didn't know but only admired from a distance, the Kaylen who didn't see me as anything more than his boring Drawing professor.

His jaw ticked as he looked away from me.

"Kayle--"

"I don't live with my parents because I can't live by myself." He spoke, looking me straight in the eye, as if challenging me to say another word. "I live with them because I love them."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I whispered. My heart was literally clenching, restricting my breath. I didn't want him to move away from me again. God, what have I done?

"Thank you for having me, Mr. Blake." He said, addressing me but looking at Jordon with a forced smile. He ruffled his hair and then walked away, out of the house.

~~~

I heard my bedroom door opening and closing. I turned towards it and sat up on the bed when I saw Jordon making his way over. He stood near the bed, looking down without saying a word and fidgeting with his fingers. My kid was so dramatic sometimes.

"Come on, here." I ushered, throwing the blanket away from my lap and opened my arms for him. He quickly climbed over and sat in my lap, hugging me tight.

"What is it?" I asked, running my hand in his hair soothingly.

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise. And I promise not to break this promise." He bawled, clutching me tighter as if I was going somewhere. My heart broke at seeing him like this.

Kaylen was right. He was just a kid, afterall. I shouldn't be so strict on stuff that kids normally do.

"Hey. Shh." I tried to quiet him down. But it didn't work.

I held his face and wiped his tears as he looked at me with fresh ones ready to burst from his eyes. I could cry any moment if he continued to look at me like that.

"Baby, it's okay. I'm not mad." I reassured, kissing his forehead and hugging him to my chest.

His cries reduced to quiet sobs and sniffs and then he spoke, almost in a whisper.

"Is Kaylen never coming back?"

I was a little surprised by the question.

"Why do you ask?" I asked him.

He took some time, as if thinking what to say or wondering whether he should say what he had thought.

"You fought with Andrea, she never came back either."

I froze. Why was he talking about my ex? Had he noticed that we had been fighting and then she never came back? I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know my relationships affected him so much. Was it because he felt lonely with just me around? Did he need another friend or a parent figure?

"Jorry," I said, making him face me. We needed this talk. "Do you feel alone?"

He looked down and nodded, adding a whisper, "Sometimes."

"Baby, I'm so sorry." I said, realising where we were finally at. I didn't give him enough time because I was so busy with the university stuff all the time and I didn't let anyone near him either because I was so overprotective that I thought they'd hurt him. I needed to be a little more liberal or my kid will start hating me.

Tears fell from my eyes as I continued to hug my child, my sister's face flashing in front of my eyes. Only if she was alive, Jordon wouldn't have had to live like this. I was such a terrible parent.

"Daddy, I love you." He said, like he knew that I was doubting myself inside.

I knew what I had to do.

~~~

I paced around in my room after Jordon and I came back from dinner in his favourite restaurant. He had invited his friends, Isabella and Matt along and now they were having their sleepover in the sitting room, watching their favourite TV shows.

As for me, I was nervously wondering if what I had planned to do would even work out. I hoped he won't completely shut me out. I didn't know if I could handle that. We just barely got on the same terms this morning and then I went ahead and screwed it up, just an hour later.

I decided to text him. I was too much of a chicken to have called.

'Hey! I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. You were right though, I should be a little more liberal with Jordon. Are you free tomorrow?'

Sent.

The reply came within a minute.

'It's okay. And I don't think we should meet tomorrow. I need some time.'

Uh oh. He must've thought I meant meeting for another one of our fucks. Well, I needed to clear that up.

'I wasn't asking for a meeting. I was just wondering if you were free tomorrow after four. I needed someone to look after Jordon.'

It was just another way of me telling him that I trusted him with my kid. I didn't think of him as irresponsible. I wish he saw it that way too.

'I'll be there' He replied.

~~

He was punctual.

He was at my door at exactly four o'clock, when I was ready to go to the professors' meeting. He was dressed casually in a red shirt and grey joggers while I was wearing a suit. Despite the age difference and the attire, he looked so much more bossy. He carried that grim expression again--the one that made him look arrogant. But he was cute. He showed up!

"Hello, Mr. Blake." He greeted and I came out of the bubble of thought I had wrapped around myself.

"Hey," I breathed, looking into his eyes momentarily. "Please call me Emerald."

Whenever he called me by my name, it made me feel all tingly and happy. Because he only did that when he is happy or immersed in so much pleasure with me that he's only thinking about me that moment. Or that's what I liked to assume.

"I think I'll just stick with Mr. Blake." He replied coldly.

He was still mad.

"Kaylen!" I heard Jordon's voice and the next moment, he was whizzing past me and attacking Kaylen in a hug.

"Hey, buddy!" Kaylen greeted flashing him a toothy grin as he picked him up and tickled him.

The big happiness that I thought I'd never have--I felt like I caught a glimpse of it that day.

My baby was in the arms of the man I had started to have feelings for. And they both looked so happy! It gave me a sense of completeness. Like, I could sum up my world in this little picture some months or years later.

I knew Kaylen didn't want me to have feelings for him but how could I not! He was sweet to me sometimes, he practically even told me that he couldn't sleep with anybody else, he was good with my kid, he gave me all sorts of pleasures. How did you keep your heart from someone like that? It would be unfair to your heart itself.

I knew I couldn't tell him about it yet. I would take it slow, according to his liking. But I wouldn't let him go. I would choose to be obmutescent till he saw what I had started to see.

Our future.

"Mr. Blake. You have a meeting right now," He reminded, looking at me with his face turning from happy to serious again. Why couldn't he just smile at me like he was at Jordon? And maybe hold me with his other arm like he was holding my baby so we could all be together?

I was moving way ahead, wasn't I?

"Um, I think I'm going to skip this one."

A/N: It's Friday!

It feels so good to update on schedule, trust me. So proud of myself.

Comment your views, please!

Chapter header above is by Karran ❤