MICHELLE
OCTOBER 22ND, 2004

      HALLOWEEN WAS 9 DAYS AWAY AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM GONNA BE. Maeve told me that I should dress up as a fairy. I'm almost sure that there is an insult hidden in that, but I didn't care enough to argue about it at the time.

"There's gotta be an insult hidden in there somewhere." Gerard mumbled, his head resting on his folded hands facing the teacher, but his eyes closed.

"I'm not sure if I care." I said, sitting the exact same way he was sitting, my head facing him so that I could see his face instead of the teacher's. "I think I might actually be a fairy, it's the only option I've got."

He turned his head away from the teacher at the front of the class and focused his attention on me "Is that what you want?"

I sighed "I don't know. I've never really chosen my own costumes. The past seven years I've matched with my best friend, she always picked 'cause I never wanted to."

I feel like every time I think of Chandler I'm suddenly aware of how cold it is.

"What are you gonna be?" I asked, pushing away all my thoughts.

Gerard grinned. "I wanna be a superhero." He said, then his grin fell and he sighed "I don't know which one thought, there's too many. I think Johnny's gonna be Batman."

I tried to think about all the superheroes that I knew about, but I didn't know much. I don't read many comics and the only time I ever watched a movie it would be with Chandler and she was more of a rom-com kind-of-girl.

The only ones I knew were Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, and Wonder Woman.

"Maybe you should be Spiderman." I mumbled.

He tilted his head as If to ask 'why?'.

I shrugged "it's the only movies I've seen. My dad took me to watch it a few years ago because he loves superheroes and I've always loved him because his girlfriend's name is MJ and my initials are MJ so."

"Your initials are MJ?"

I nodded "yeah, Michelle Juliette. It was my grandmother's name"

"Hmm." He hummed, blinking slowly as if he was about to close his eyes again. "It's very pretty."

I'm starting to get the feeling that he's tired.

He let out a yawn and stretched his legs out. Then his eyes slowly blinked shut and I didn't do anything to stop it.

He's seemed pretty tired these past few days. I'm not sure why, but it was starting to worry me. Especially since the purple bags under his eyes were starting to get darker.

He looked very different when he slept. While he was awake he always seemed to be smiling and making jokes, mainly inappropriate ones, but while he was sleeping he looked almost scared.

Chandler used to be like that too. But I knew why she was, I have no idea what it is with Gerard that made him like that and it makes me sick.

I don't think I can do that again. Constantly worry about what's wrong, only to find out when it was too late to fix it.

But I'm not his best friend, so it isn't my job to know those kind of things. I just hope he talked to Johnny about it.

I snapped out of my thoughts when the loud ass bell rang, unfortunately, waking up Gerard too.

"Ah, shit." He groaned, rubbing his eyes. "I fell asleep again, didn't I?"

I nodded while grabbing my backpack off the back of my chair.

He sighed "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I get it, we all have our days." Even though his days have started to form into weeks.

I wasn't gonna push.

I will not cross boundaries and lose another friend.

"Are you okay?" And I pushed.

He glanced over at me, scratching the back of his neck, which he did a lot when he was nervous.

"Yeah." He shrugged, walking beside me as we exited the classroom "I'm always okay."

I stepped to the side, avoiding some random kid who was practically sprinting down the hall.

I felt my stomach do a 360 at the boys words.

I wanted to barf—I was going to barf.

Just breathe Mikey.

Then her voice was yelling in my head again.

Think about something else, I thought to myself.

I felt my arm wrap around Gerard's as if it had become instinct. "You don't have to be." I mumbled, feeling my voice vibrate through half of my body.

Don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, don't puke, please don't puke.

The boy looked down at me with a look I couldn't recognize.

I feel sick.

"You know what." I stopped walking, Gerard immediately doing the same. "I'll meet you at lunch, I have to use the restroom."

Then I was practically sprinting down the hallway.

AUTHOR TALKS!!
I wanted Michelle, Maeve, and Finn to be Alvin and the chipmunks for Halloween, but turns out that came out in 2007.