4. Aadat ho ya bimari? (Are you a habit or an illness?)

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I dreaded going home after the blunder I had created. For almost an hour I lingered in the society compound, wishing for the earth to split open and swallow me whole. I can't believe I said what I said. What was I even thinking asking whether Priya is single or not? And to top it off all, I asked the question to her sister? The person I was thinking of getting married to? What did even Priya do to get me so infatuated with her? If I remember correctly, she came late. Which I absolutely loathe. Then she proceeded to interrogate me like a cop, building my anxiety to a completely different level. And I vehemently dislike people who make me anxious. She neither smiled nor tried to act friendly. She gave me no hint, no signal, that she would ever want to settle down. She looks like someone who performs black magic on the entire existence of the male species. Did it really have to be her!?

But Goddamit, the woman was fascinating.

Like a half-torn page of the book.

She compelled me to think about her. The way she handles herself, the way she speaks, the way she watches you, I wonder how many men she charmed without even intending to do so.

Despite not wanting to, Preeti had ignited a flame of hope in my mind. I couldn't help but envision just how it would feel to have that woman as my wife. Fuck.

She made me feel things I can't explain. Of course, I was far off track from those sparks and fireworks, but whatever it was, it was absolutely amazing. She thrilled me. Like one of those roller-coaster rides that slowly raise you to the top and then bam, you crash into the depths like a wingless plane.

I've had a crush on many women. Some just as intense as these, some less, some even more. I remember Veronica, a foreign exchange student in our college from Cape Town, had been my obsession for almost two months. I couldn't stop thinking about her, had almost gathered enough courage to go and ask her out. But then her exchange programme ended and she flew back to her country. I was heartbroken for complete three days. Then came Anita and my crush got updated, even if not upgraded.

I wonder if this is the same. It has to be right? Priya has that exotic vibes about her. She looks untouched, unconquered. As though men would rather slit their tongues than ask her out. She isn't the marriage material no matter how much I want her to be. She doesn't look someone to do well with new relationships. I can't take a risk and sign myself up for heartbreak.

Yes, I can't take the risk. Just give me a week and I'll get over her. Just a week, with no mention of her, no thoughts, don't even bring up her name. Forget her. Wipe her existence off my life map.

With a nod, I plucked enough courage to go home. Mom and Meghna showered me with their questions before I even had time to sit and take a breath to relax. The two jumped on me like a missile test gone wrong.

"Is she the one?" Meghna leaned in curiously. Mom regarded me with the same gaze.

No.

"I don't-"

"Don't say no. But don't say yes either. Let's have our families meet."

"I don't know," I said, regretting my words immediately. I was supposed to say no. Just like I had planned two minutes ago. How did I change my mind in such a short time? Why am I so damn indecisive!?

"Oh," Meghna sat back disappointed. "So, same like Sunaina."

"No!" I shot up straight. "Not like Sunaina. Preeti suggested the families meet and I didn't say no."

"You wanted to?" Mom inquired.

Yes. But that'll mean the Mathur chapter is permanently closed. And I don't want that.

"No," I lied.

She smiled. "Okay, once your father comes home, I'll talk to him." She rubbed my shoulder and got up to bring me a glass of water.

I loosened my tie and undid the first two buttons of my shirt before resting my head back.

"How was the date?" Meghna asked inquisitively.

Boring.

"Fine," I answered, lifting my head as Mom returned with a glass of water. I took it from her with a small thanks and downed the water quickly. Handing the empty glass back to her, I excused myself to take a shower.

During dinner, Mom brought up the topic of meeting with the Mathurs. Dad was glad I liked the girl enough to involve families. I didn't comment anything on it. Bhai came late as usual, but I forced Meghna to stay up for him since he is a noob when it comes to cooking and would even burn the water. If there's no one to force-feed him, he would rather sleep empty stomach than rummage through the kitchen for something to fill his tummy.

I couldn't sleep the entire night. I tossed and turned, tried different positions, of sleep, of course, drank milk, even counted sheep. But the thought that Preeti must have spoken to her sister about me echoed in my head like a darned alarm clock. I slaved off the night in the mercy of my ruthless overthinking.

I woke up tired. No surprise there.

After breakfast, I decided to bury myself in work. Reading proves as a better distraction, but I'm not a man of technical or philosophical books. I love fictional books. I inhale that shit like marijuana. But I didn't need any character or scene reminding me about her.

Sometime later, mom entered my room with a bowl of fruit salad. With a kiss on top of my head, she fed me a chopped piece of watermelon and warned me to finish it off before leaving the room. I ate sluggishly, well that is until tweety arrived at my window sill.

"Hi, there, tweety," I mumbled. "Guava?" I offered her a small bite, she pecked it off my forefinger. I retracted my hand and watched as she put the piece down before eating it in tiny bites. "Tweety,"

She paused and tilted her head.

"Do you have a husband?" I asked her. "Are you even married?"

She tweeted at me sharply.

"Alright, no need to get so defensive," I said and shoved a slice of banana in my mouth.

She went back to eating her Guava.

"Listen," I said, ignoring how she ignored me because Guava was more important to her, "So, I met this woman. Initially, she was no one but the girl's sister I was thinking of marrying. We meet, she annoys the heck out of me, then she goes and I sit like a fool, wondering how the hell I ended up with this massive crush on a woman who probably loathes men." I sighed. "She didn't even do the bare minimum, Tweety! She didn't even smile at me! I mean, she did. But anyone with two functioning eyes could tell how fake it was. She is not my type. She is nothing like I had imagined my wife to be. But now that I know she exists, making her my wife sounds so tempting." I groaned, ruffling my hair violently.

Tweety took tiny steps back, regarding me with a look of terror.

"Sorry," I apologized softly. She leaned ahead, pecked off her Guava, and dragged it towards her instead of occupying her previous position. Understandable. No women likes violent men. "So, what do you think about her?"

She chirped at me, picked up her Guava by her beak, and flew off the window.

"Okay....." I frowned, looking out of my window. "Thanks for the advice I guess?" I shrugged and focused back on my work.

Sunday morning came as a surprise. Not the morning itself, because c'mon, I know how weekdays work, okay. I meant the news I received right after waking up.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, they've invited us over dinner at their house." Mom said, coating the toasted bread with butter before putting it in the center of the table in the company of others. I picked up one and ate it, my head absolutely blank yet I could feel the chaos happening. I just failed to comprehend any thought.

"Where's Bhai?" Meghna asked while she pulled herself a chair across from me and sat down.

"He had to travel to Bangalore this morning. Emergency meeting, he says." Mom shrugged.

"So he isn't coming with us for dinner?" I asked.

Mom shook her head. "Take one more," she pointed at the toasted loaves of bread.

I half-heartedly picked one.

"Her sister will be there?" I asked, stalling my breath almost immediately.

Could you be any more obvious, Adi?

"Yeah," Mom furrowed her brows. "She will be, I guess. She is her only sister. Only blood family left."

I swallowed and nodded.

For the rest of the day, I didn't leave my room. I tried to work, of course, I did, but the thought of dinner didn't let me complete even an inch of the mile I was intending to cover this weekend. Tweety didn't return, so I sulked alone.

In the evening, Mom asked me to get ready. My stomach dropped at the thought of seeing her again, but I forced myself to get up and choose something to wear. An hour later, I had my entire wardrobe on the bed, yet nothing caught my eyes.

"Adi," Mom entered without knocking, then startled at the sight of the mess I had created and gasped. "What is this?"

"I've nothing to wear, Mumma!"

"Toh yeh kya hai!? (Then what the hell is this!?)" She snapped, pointing at the clothes strewn around the whole room.

I sat on the bed defeatedly with my right leg up and folded.

"Nothing is nice," I grunted. "I need new clothes."

"Shut up!" She chastised. "Here, wear this," she held out a black shirt and black trousers. "Black looks good on you. It complements your skin tone."

"Really?" I smiled hopefully.

"Hmm, and wear contact lenses tonight." She smiled back at me.

I got up excitedly to rush inside the bathroom so I can quickly change and look for myself if I really do look good in black as Mom says. I hadn't even taken a step forward when Mom grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and yanked me back. "First clean this mess."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"Mummy, yar-"

"Shut up and clean this. I'm coming to check up on the room in fifteen minutes. This better be gone until then." She warned and left. I sighed in defeat, deciding to do as told if I wanted to avoid any more scolding.

Halfway through, I gave up folding and shoved everything in the cupboard before force closing it. Dusting my hands with a clap, I grabbed my chosen outfit and changed into it.

My contact lenses are usually kept in the bedside drawer so I took them and went inside the bathroom to put them on. After two failed tries, I was successful in wearing them without poking my eyes. When I came out to check myself in the full-length mirror, my nervousness skyrocketed. Yeah, I look good. But that's not enough. Nothing's enough if she rejects me.

"Hi, Priya.... Ji?" I whispered, licking my dry lips for some moisture. "Uh, your sister is nice. Yeah, but you're nicer-"

Fuck, no, stop lying.

"Priya Ji," I swallowed, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. "I think I've a crush on you!" I opened my eyes and deflated seeing my reflection. "No. This won't work." I shook my head. "Priya, I know I was supposed to like your sister, but I like you. And it's your fault. If only you hadn't met me before your sister, I might have a chance to feel something for her. But no, you had to come in between. So congratulations, you're in between. Blocking every other girl in my life. I don't care, you've done this, you're bearing the consequences!" I pointed at my reflection furiously. "Yeah, no, that sounds like a threat."

"Adi! C'mon, let's go!" Mom called out from the living room.

I quickly grabbed the bottle of my deo and sprayed it all over before putting it back and leaving my room. Mom, Dad, and Meghna were already at the doorstep, wearing their footwear. I joined them.

We left in Bhai's car with me behind the wheels. I wanted to turn the car around and head back home, but I controlled the urge. Soon enough we were parking in an elite society of Mumbai Suburbs. I never imagined her living here. Then again, the woman struts around with a black card, this should be nothing.

"Okay....." Meghna tilted her head to look at the apartment buildings all around us. "They're rich."

"Hmm," Mom nodded, taking a look around as well.

I registered our entry in the entry file at the guard post before we made our way inside the building. Mom had to recheck the floor and apartment number after we entered the elevator. I pressed for the fourth floor as she said and we waited in an impressed silence as the metal box ascended. The doors opened with a chime, revealing a polished hallway to us.

"Wow," Meghna gasped when she stepped out. "Teri toh lottery lag gayi yar! (You won a lottery, dude!)" She slapped my arm teasingly. "Does she have a brother?"

"I don't know," I answered.

Yes, the place, the interior, the flooring, the ceiling, heck even the lighting was impressive, but my mind was somewhere else, her to be precise and it made thinking of anything else almost impossible.

"There," Mom pointed at the door right at the end of the hallway. I read the nameplate.

Priya Mathur.

Is it in the name or does the woman just exists to intimidate?

"Let's go, I'm so excited to see their house!" Meghna grabbed my arm, dragging me towards the apartment. Mom and Dad followed us. My over-enthusiastic sister rang the doorbell, looking more excited than me.

The door opened, revealing a middle-aged couple. Mom and Dad took the initiative to make the small talks, like namaste and thank you for inviting us, while they reciprocated with, please don't say that and how was our travel here, did we have trouble finding the house, blah blah. Meghna and I stood beside them, listening to them make introductions and exchange pleasantries. The middle-aged couple turned out to be Mathur sisters' uncle and aunty, and the rest of the family members, a boy, and a girl, were their teen kids. We were requested to sit in the living room while Ragini Upadhyay, the Mathur sisters' aunt, served us beverages and snacks.

"Where's Preeti?" Mom asked after taking a sip of water.

Mrs. Upadhyay smiled. "Priya is getting her ready. I'll just go and check if they are ready to come out."

Hearing her name accelerated my heartbeat. I looked down at the glass I was holding between my knees, trying to calm my racing heart. My lungs expanded and contracted to their limit, causing my breath to come out harsh and visible. I tapped my right leg subconsciously, halting when mom placed her hand on my knee and rubbed it gently. I clutched the back of her hand, resisting the urge to get up and run.

I was seeing her again after a week. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't, as I had decided, was able to forget about her. The crush just got bigger and bigger, until she began to appear in my fucking dreams. I've lost it completely and the blame is all on her.

"Here, they are."

I snapped my head up so fast that I was aware of the multiple pair of eyes I caught the attention of.

First, my eyes fell on Preeti, who looked just as uncomfortable as me, before my eyes gravitated towards the taller woman walking by her side. And my gaze was glued to her.

Our eyes met, for less than a split second, then she tore her gaze off me. She looked awkward. The woman I thought would never lose her confidence even in the face of the storm, looked like she was a minute away from running to hide in some corner of the world, as far as possible from me.

I couldn't look away from her even though Preeti had started greeting my parents. Priya sat down on the adjacent sofa chair, on the left of my dad, her legs crossed and eyes straight ahead. She fiddled with her watch, rather clumsily than I had noticed a week ago and I realised that's her version of knee-shaking and sweaty hands.

"Hi, Adi,"

I flinched out of my daze, meeting Preeti's gaze timidly. "Hey," I whispered, still embarrassed and guilty about the date. There could be no other harsh rejection than having the guy you're meeting for a date ask whether your sister is single or not. I can fuck up royally if you don't know already.

Mom and Dad asked Preeti a lot of questions which she answered confidently. Meghna asked her about her studies and future plans career-wise. And I? Well, I stole countless glances at her sister.

"I think we should let the kids talk in private and get to know each other in the meantime." Mrs. Upadhyay suggested.

Fuck, no.

"Yeah, C'mon, Di," Preeti got up with a smile. "This way, Adi," she stretched out her hand for me.

Priya and I looked at her in shock while the other family members stared in confusion.

"I- you don't need me," Priya mumbled.

"Please, Di, I'm a little nervous." Preeti smiled shyly.

Mom and Mrs. Upadhyay chuckled. "Go along, Priya. Stand aside and let them do the talking. Just be there for her."

"Yeah, as moral support," Mom added with a smile.

Priya forced herself to get up and waited for us to take the lead. I stood up instantly, following the sisters wherever they were taking me to. We entered a well-lit, spacious bedroom.

"I'll stay here," Preeti murmured. "You two can talk on the balcony."

"I'm not doing this," Priya shook her head and walked past us towards the closed doors.

"Di!" Preeti rushed towards her. "Di, you promised me!"

Priya glared at her, then at me before turning back to unlock the door.

"Di," Preeti whispered weakly.

"Preeti, please."

"You promised me. You will talk to him." She insisted.

Priya sighed in defeat, turned, and stalked off in the direction of the balcony. I clenched my hand into a fist as she passed by me like a breeze, her black locks grazing my arm. I didn't feel the touch physically, it was so light, yet it was enough to alleviate my breathing.

"Go!" Preeti said to me. "This is your only chance."

What?

Chance? What am I supposed to do with it?

"Go!" She snapped at me.

I quickly turned and entered the balcony. She was seated on the swing, legs crossed, hands interlaced on her lap, her usual sitting position. Am I really noticing the little details of the woman I only met once? Now twice.

She didn't speak. I didn't either. If she was trying to make this difficult for me, she was winning. The silence between us stretched to five minutes and we still didn't speak a word to each other. I knew I couldn't miss the chance, as Preeti had reinforced, yet I couldn't bring it in myself to break the ice between us. I was so pathetic.

I clenched my hand and my fist trembled. I was all sorts of frustrated. I wanted to say so many things, and try my hand at convincing her, but I failed miserably.

I noticed her looking at me from the corner of my eyes and met her gaze. She didn't say anything, just stared. I looked away first, into the sea of city lights that shone like a fallen blanket of stars.

"Aditya," she whispered, bringing my attention back to her.

"Priya," I acknowledged, my voice heavy.

She sighed heavily, then got up and left.

I spun around to clutch the railing tightly, clenching my eyes shut in regret. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, realising if I was just a little bit more confident, like my brother, like my friends, like other men my age, maybe I wouldn't have stood like a fool while the woman I want to marry waited for me to say something. My lips trembled. I was so shaken up. My lack of confidence and anxiety has snatched so many golden opportunities from me, yet I never thought she would be one of them.

I composed myself with a few deep breaths. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me. I should be used to it now but it hurts just as bad. I don't know how I turned out to be like this. I had amazing school life, no one bullied me, my teachers were supportive, and I grew up in a healthy household, then why am I not like my siblings? I can't even find the fault to blame.

"Adi?" Preeti called out softly.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time," I mumbled, turning around to meet her eyes. "Goodbye," I said, walking past her. She looked like she wanted to say something but thankfully she didn't.

The dinner proceeded in awkward silence. Maybe the elders realised this was a failed attempt at joining families. We left their house shortly after, a permanent goodbye leaving our mouths.

Before I could get in the car, I looked up just in case and froze when I noticed her on the balcony. Her dress fluttered with the winds, her eyes settled on me. I clutched the door handle tighter before opening it sharply and getting inside.

"I thought you liked her?" Meghna muttered breaking the silence.

I didn't answer.

"I liked the family." Dad put in his two cents.

"Hmm," Mom hummed. "But he isn't getting married to their family. If he doesn't like the girl, then that's the end of it."

"I don't see the problem in her. I like her better. She was less pretty than Sunaina, but her personality was beautiful." Meghna added. "Your standards are just too high, Adi."

My standards are her sister.

"Meghna, enough," Dad commanded.

Meghna thankfully fell silent for the rest of the drive.

We departed to our respective rooms after reaching home. I fell asleep instantly, having no sleep last night and the mental exhaustion I went through today lulled me to dreamless slumber.

Monday morning Mom came to me with a few more options.

"What happened? The thing with Tripti didn't work out?" Bhai questioned with a frown.

"Her name is Preeti, Bhai," Meghna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I thought you went for dinner at their house last night?" He asked, cutting through his omelet with the butter knife.

"Yeah, but Mr. Shrivastava here didn't like her either." Meghna sighed.

"Tu kyu mu bana rahi hai? (Why are you making faces?)" Mom slapped the back of her head. Thank you, Mummy. I know I can count on you always.

"Kyun ki mujhe woh pasand aayi! (Because I liked her!)" Meghna grumbled. "But her sister reminded me of a Hitler!" She shuddered.

I glared at her subtly.

"Yeah, she didn't speak much either," Dad added.

I rolled my eyes. That's because she doesn't talk much. If she did, no one will be able to speak back.

"Very reserved," mom commented from the kitchen. "But I like how she pulled her family from bottom to top. Remember what her uncle said? They used to live in one room kitchen four years ago. She started working when she was seventeen. If I had a child like her, I would declare myself as the proudest mom in the world."

I didn't know that.

Maybe because I don't know anything. Will never get to either.

I sulked even more.

"What's her name?" Bhai asked.

"Pri-"

His phone rang and he held up his finger. "Yes, Mr. Chautala," He greeted, pushing the chair back as he walked off to his room briskly. "Yeah, the papers are ready-" the rest of his conversion disappeared along with him in the room. He returned five minutes later, with his laptop bag and car keys and left hurriedly.

"He didn't even finish the breakfast," Mom mumbled disappointedly.

I finished my food and left for the office. My day went worse than one could expect. First, I was late because I missed the bus and had to wait thirty minutes more for the next to arrive. Then I had to push myself through the bunch of sweaty arms and bloating stomachs to get onto the bus. The floor manager spotted me stepping through the elevator and reprimanded me for my tardiness. The irony, I hate lateness with passion. At lunch, I realized I forgot to pack roti because I was distracted by the events of last night while fixing my tiffin. So I had to make do with dal chawal and sabzi. At the end of the day, it began to rain. The bus came late and therefore I had to suffer another round of sweaty bodies along with drenched clothes.

I was absolutely frazzled by the time I reached home.

"Adi, did you look through the options-"

"Later, Mummy. I'm tired." I waved her off, opening the door to my room. All the initial excitement of getting married withered away with the storm of the first rejection I had to face yesterday. My confidence is right now below minus.

I got changed into nightclothes and flung myself onto the bed.

My phone on the nightstand began to vibrate.

I picked it up, answered the call without bothering to check the number, and put it against my ear. "Hello?" My voice came out muffled.

"She said yes!" Came a scream from the other end.

I shot straight with a flinch. "Sorry, who's this?" I asked, stealing a glance at the number. It was unfamiliar.

"It's me, Adi! Preeti!" She giggled.

I stiffened. "Pree- Preeti?"

"Ha! (Yes!)"

"What did you just say?" I asked with bated breath.

"She said yes, Adi! It's a yes from Di!"

Oooo.... Now that's a surprise.

She said yes.

Hope you're liking the book so far? Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.

And for paid Tempter readers, I'll post the epilogue and bonus chapters on Wednesday. I'm shifting back home from hostel, so it's a little hectic. That book has always demanded a lot of patience and understanding, so I'll need quiet time to write the chapters. Hope you understand.