40. Ek baar phir shuruvat karte hain. (Let's start over once again.)

•°•

- priya -

I was a nervous wreck the moment I heard Preeti welcome Aditya inside, confirming it was indeed him. It wasn't a surprise we had completely stopped talking for the last week. I was too embarrassed after the text I had sent him, and he, as usual, made no efforts from his side. Not that I blamed him, to be honest. I suck at communication and I had proved that twice in a row. But still, I wasn't prepared to meet him today. I don't know why, but him coming here feels a lot more special and different than us meeting tomorrow at home.

"C'mon, let's go outside," Nisha bhabhi urged softly, pulling me from my thoughts.

I looked around in an effort to find a reason that'll allow me to stay in the kitchen for a while before I gather enough courage to face him. I wasn't in the best of my attire either. Just my old pants and a worn-out t-shirt. My hair was washed this morning, but instead of sorting the mess with a brush, I had just thrown them up in a bun, and now it was a bird's nest. I didn't want to meet him looking homeless.

"I'll just, I need to check everything to finish up-"

"Oh, let loose, Priya. C'mon!" She turned off the burner and dragged me out of the kitchen. Dragged because my feet skidded across the floor, literally. But she seems to have a lot of practice with dragging stubborn people around. I believe the credit goes to Ashish.

We made out of the kitchen and I quickly straightened on my feet, our appearance catching the attention of the folks in the living room.

Aditya, who had been talking to Sameer and Vikram with his back on us, turned around when the men's eyes flickered towards us over his shoulder.

My breath hitched in my throat when our eyes met.

He was wearing an all-black suit that I'm absolutely in love with. It hugged his tall, lean body snugly, emphasizing his broad shoulders and trimmed waist, stretching and wrapping around at all the right places. I swallowed at the sight.

My attention snapped away from him when Nisha Bhabhi tugged me forward, taking me along to where they stood. She left my side when I was right in front of him, walking up to her kid who was shuffling through the family album with Preeti. Sameer and Vikram had dived into another conversation, leaving just us two to awkwardly stare at each other.

It all felt too similar. Like the first time we had met for an actual date.

I fiddled with my wrist, lamenting the absence of my watch. Reaching to tuck a wayward tendril behind my ear, I underestimated the mess my hair was and ended up pulling at the roots as my finger got tangled. With a hiss, I carefully pulled my fingers away and pushed my hair back with both of my hands.

Embarrassed to the core, I lifted my gaze, only to have my eyes widen at the sight of him cackling behind his knuckles.

I blushed, grateful to my brown skin tone that camouflaged the shame well.

He cleared his throat, pulling his hand away, a ghost of a smile still painted across his inconspicuous as sin lips. As strange as it sounds, I was relieved to see those dimples that had stolen my month's worth of peace.

"Kaisi ho? (How are you?)" His voice drifted over the buzzing chatter spread across the room but my ears picked up on the words almost immediately, as though they had been almost begging to hear something from their favourite person.

"Fine. Aap? (You?)"

He nodded, rubbing his nape as red darted across his cheeks and the tip of his ears. "Fine, I guess."

"Arey kya pehli baar mil rahe ho!? (Are you guys meeting for the first time?)" Vikram asked sarcastically. I almost glared at him, hating that he disturbed our moment. But Aditya hit the man on the chest, eliciting a painful gasp from him and I stood back satisfied.

"Nayi nayi Shaadi hai, thoda nayapan toh hoga hi na aapas mein (It's a recent marriage, there will be some newness to it.)" Nisha bhabhi chuckled, getting up from the seat and coming up to us.

"Haan toh hum bhi naye hai, (We're also new)" Preeti indicated towards her and Sameer, "we don't act like this," she chortled, making Sameer smile as well.

Aditya and I blushed.

"That's because their romance is like typical 90s while yours is full-on twenty-first-century love." Nisha bhabhi rolled her eyes.

"It's not love," Preeti mumbled coyly, smiling at her fiddling hands. I looked at my princess fondly.

"Yet," Sameer whispered, getting a proud slap on the back from Vikram and a hoot from Nisha Bhabhi that startled her son but made us laugh.

Preeti hid behind her hands, her shoulders shaking from all the shy giggling mess Sameer had converted her into with one word.

"Hey Bhagwan, lag raha hai kisi teenage cafe mein aaya hoon jo college dates ke liye famous hai. (Oh God, feels like I've stepped into a teenage cafe that's famous for college dates.)" Vikram groaned.

"Young love, my love." Nisha bhabhi leaned into him, wrapping her hand around his bicep.

"We old, my love." He sighed, ruffling their son's hair who had his head rested against his thigh.

"Yeah," she placed a hand on her chest, dramatically sad.

"You guys are literally in your early thirties!" Aditya scoffed.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "Does that make me old too?" I gasped, jestingly of course.

"Yeah, you pedo!" Nisha bhabhi scowled at me, erupting chuckles from everyone else. My jaw slackened in shock.

"What's a pedo?" Ashish asked innocently, catching our attention towards him.

"Someone you should stay miles away from!" Nisha bhabhi instructed.

Ashish looked up at me, then at his mom, then back at me, and darted behind his father's legs to hide.

"You did not!" I gasped, looking at Nisha bhabhi with mock hurt while everyone hollered at my expense.

"You learn fast my boy," she patted his head proudly. "But mommy was just kidding. Not about staying miles away from pedos, but our clumsy little Priya being one. She is safe." She cooed stroking his chin.

His large brown eyes met mine and he let out a small oh.

"Yes, oh. I'm a nice person." I bent to his level.

"Nice?"

I nodded.

"Nice enough to give me chocolates?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Of course! Come along!" I grabbed his tiny hand and he let me lead him towards the kitchen despite his mother's warning to not eat chocolate before dinner. Vikram hushed her, waving us off nonchalantly. Ashish and I Hi-Fied as we made our way into the kitchen.

Because the refrigerator was tall enough to exceed my height as well, I picked Ashish in my arms, regretting it almost immediately because gosh, he was heavy. Struggling to open the top door with one hand, I thanked him when he helped me with the little task.

"Alright," my voice came out stressed as I hiked him up on my hip, "pick one that you like. But just one." He pouted at me. "Just one. I don't want your mom chasing me with her slipper." He giggled at that, turning his head back and shoving inside the refrigerator to look through all the shelves and compartments.

He was taking too long that my patience almost ran thin. I had a half mind to pick one chocolate randomly and send him his merry way. But the boy looked extremely concentrated and confused, as though he was making a life-altering decision. It looked important to him just as my work makes me feel. So I traded my spine for his satisfaction.

He was beginning to slide down my hip for the umpteenth time. I gripped his waist and pulled him back up, fixing my face into a mask of a smile when he gave me a disapproving look for being slightly rough.

Not my fault you're so heavy.

"Give him to me," the weight was suddenly off me and into Aditya's arms. He held the boy effortlessly while I winced through my aching ribs and arms. His eyes met mine and I smiled gratefully. He returned one of his own, nodding softly at me. "C'mon choose one, champ. Do you have any idea of the electricity you're wasting by keeping the fridge open for so long?" He chastised. That had Ashish huffing in disappointment before he reached out to grab a chocolate bar and wiggled to get released. Aditya set him down, patting his butt as a signal he was good to go.

"Thank you!" He chimed at me before rushing out of the kitchen.

Aditya closed the door of the refrigerator.

I moved towards the kitchen island, checking through the food in an attempt to save us from awkward silence.

"Are you not changing?" He asked softly, breaking the silence hanging between us.

"Uh," I stuttered for a coherent response. "Yeah, I was- uh I was thinking about it. I'll just go and-"

"Wear something nice," he said, earning a look of surprise from me. "I want to take you out for a long drive after dinner." My heart did a freaking flip.

"Like.... today? As in, in a few hours?"

He frowned. "No, I just want you to wear something nice today so I can take you out tomorrow." He said sarcastically, "does that even make sense?"

I blinked down at my hands, worrying my lower lip incessantly.

He sighed. "Yes, Priya, tonight. I want to take you out tonight. Why else do you think I wore this expensive suit? For a friendly get-together? I'm not that high maintenance."

I smiled.

He practically admitted that he wore the suit for me, didn't he?

"Okay," I whispered. "What should I wear?"

He shrugged. "Anything nice," he was holding himself back from saying the real thing but I knew immediately.

"Okay," I hurried past him to get ready.

Five minutes later in my old bedroom, I was still shuffling through my old clothes for a saree. I remember leaving a few here, just in case I had to come here for a function of sorts and needed to change. But right now, I couldn't find one darn saree.

Rolling my shoulders to get rid of the aching in them for having my arms raised for so long, I groaned out aloud.

The door opened and Preeti entered. "Di, everyone's ready for din- what are you doing? What's with all these clothes on the bed?" She asked incredulously.

I huffed. "Where are my sarees!?"

"Which sarees?" Her brows furrowed together.

"The ones I left here!?" I deadpanned.

"Oh, maybe Mami took them?" She shrugged.

I gritted my teeth in annoyance. Should have already known. She always eyed my things as though they resembled some otherworldly fashion.

"You can choose one of mine if you want," she walked up to her side of the cupboard and slid it open. "Here, you wore this when that Gautam guy had come to see you. We even had the blouse altered for you." She handed me a gradient chiffon saree of light pink on the upper part and rose pink on the lower with a thin red sequined border running at the edge. Taking the saree, I looked through the folds with a satisfied smile while she got out the matching blouse and underskirt.

"Thank you so much! You're my saviour!" I hugged her for a fleeting moment, waving her off immediately after to get ready alone. She chuckled, shaking her head and calling me whipped under her breath on her way out.

I got ready in ten minutes but wasted five minutes contemplating whether to let the pallu drape freely across my arm or pin it up properly. The blouse was sleeveless but it had broad straps. I don't mind showing my arms, I just didn't want to look extra for the sake of a friendly dinner.

Bunching up the pallu on my shoulder, I turned a little to look at my side profile. It looked beautiful.

Finally settling on folding my pallu in pleats, I secured it on the strap of my blouse and then smoothened the rest of it. Letting my hair fall in waves over my shoulders and breast, I brushed the curled ends and gave them a light bounce. The number of products I've used on my hair after practically ripping through them was sure going to get me an early hair fall. But that was a worry for another day.

Initially, I was going to sleep as soon as dinner was over because honestly, I was so tired from all the cooking and cleaning, and my hands were rough as sandpaper with all the constant dishwashing. But the moment he said about taking me out for a long drive, it was as though my body released a secret energy chemical that had been stored away for such occasions. Nonetheless, I was grateful I wasn't feeling so exhausted anymore.

Taking in a deep breath, I left the room in search of the remaining others. The sounds of chatter coming from the dining hall alerted me of their location and I fastened my steps.

"Oh my, will you look at that?" Nisha bhabhi said in astonishment, causing everyone's heads to whip in my direction. Aditya included.

I lowered my head, walking in quietly to sit beside Aditya. He pulled the chair for me, pushing it forward just as I sat down. "Thanks," I murmured.

He nodded, his eyes staying on my face a moment longer before they strayed to my bare collarbones. I twisted the end of pallu in my lap, wishing for the earth to open up and swallow me whole from all the teasing glances and one certain pair of intense eyes drinking me up like old age wine.

"Ya toh hum underdressed hai ya toh inka kuch aur hi chal raha hai (Either we are underdressed, or they're in a different world altogether.)" Vikram commented playfully.

"No, but seriously, black suits you, Aditya." Nisha bhabhi complimented.

"I know right!" Preeti agreed. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him at the doorstep," she chuckled. "You sure clean up nice, Jeej!" She bumped against his shoulder.

"I can smell jealousy coming from my side," Vikram waved his hand under his nose, causing Sameer to break into an unintended smile.

"I'm not jealous." He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you shouldn't be. I had the chance, and I rejected him." She whispered to him, intentionally loud enough so everyone can hear.

"Excuse me?" Aditya scoffed out a chuckle. "I remember something entirely different."

"And I remember you calling me adhi gharwali, (Half wife)" she shot back.

I looked at Aditya stunned. Upon feeling my stare on him, his eyes snapped to meet mine. "Th-That was a jo-joke!"

"Look who's stuttering now," Preeti smirked.

He threw her a glare before looking back at me with squinted gaze. "Trust me, it was a joke."

I narrowed my eyes at him, pursed my lips together and whipped my head to the front to serve myself. The dinner began with light conversations, flowing from one end to another smoothly. Aditya and I stayed quiet for the most part, just watching others interact while we ate our dinner in peace.

Some time into the dinner, I felt a hand rest on my thigh. I jerked up in my seat, causing Nisha bhabhi to frown at me. I smiled at her awkwardly, shaking my head to dissipate the questioning look on her face. She nodded and focused back on whatever memory Preeti was sharing.

Aditya's breath fanned my ear. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." He whispered, and I near almost sighed aloud. He smelled of his expensive French cologne. The musky fragrance swept through my senses and rendered me feeble. "About the adhi gharwali thing, it was really meant to be a joke." He justified.

"It's okay," I whispered back. "I wasn't serious as well."

A relieved look crossed his face. He leaned back into his chair, and along with him his hand retrieved too. My leg bounced in response, craving the touch back.

I wouldn't lie, I miss the intimacy. I don't know about the sex part, but the way his body rubbed against mine when our forms were stripped off every fabric, his hands digging into my hips, face buried into my neck, moans falling past his lips as he crashed into me over and over. Although painful, his look of pleasure was the only best thing during our intimate moments.

I looked at his hand that rested over his lap, the large size of it barely fitting his strong thigh yet it perfectly encompassed mine.

I shook my head to drive away the provocative thoughts but then my eyes went back to the hand longingly. With sudden boldness filling me up like an inflated balloon, I took a leap of faith and placed my hand atop his.

He flinched slightly, his reaction not as dramatic as mine to capture any attention. Regarding me with a confused look, he watched me pull his hand to rest back on my left thigh. I left it there with a subtle stroke of thumb on his wrist, licking my dry lips under his heated gaze.

Swallowing the unease, I lowered my head to my plate, eating a spoonful of rice.

My breath shallowed feeling his hand turn confident on my body, stretching to its full expanse over my thigh, almost driving me crazy when it began to move up and down in a rather slow, sensual stroking motion.

I clenched the spoon tightly in my hand, crossing my feet as I sucked in my lower lip to stop the obvious sigh from falling past my mouth.

"Priya, is that true!?" Nisha bhabhi laughed and my head jerked up hearing my name.

Aditya's hand retreated immediately and I stopped myself from pulling it back to continue whatever it was doing.

"Sorry what?"

"Did you not hear what she was telling us?" Nisha bhabhi frowned.

"No, I-I was thinking about some work at the office. Sorry." I apologised.

"Well, she was telling us about this school annual function where you played the role of sunflower in some children's play?" She chuckled.

All the sexual desires left me at the reminder of one of my most embarrassing childhood memory.

"What?" Aditya chuckled, eyeing me with amusement and intensity I wasn't used to.

"Yeah, I was eleven I guess," I shrugged. "I wanted to participate in the annual skits but the teacher said I'm horrible at acting. So dad talked to her and in the end, I was given the role of a sunflower. In the bunch of all artificial sunflowers, I was the only one rotating my head every time the animated sun on the screen rose and set." I snorted. I hated the teacher throughout my school life for what she did.

Everyone at the dining table burst out laughing.

I grunted in response, annoyed for being reminded of the horrible memory and the fact that Aditya's hand never came back to continue its ministrations.

Post dinner, Preeti brought out the bowls of Gulab Jamun garnished with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and served each one.

I dug through the sweet, smiling as we listened to Nisha bhabhi's maternity days. It was funny too since she doesn't sugarcoat things. Ashish looked greatly offended when she said the raccoon tore through her body like a roundshot fired from the cannon, crying like his ass was on fire when it was her who had her body ripped in two, literally. That made me shudder in horror.

"Oh my god, does it really hurt so much?" Preeti asked curiously.

"You wouldn't even imagine the length to which childbirth hurts," Nisha bhabhi winced. "Having Ashish made everything worth it though. But I'm not going through that again. Once was more than enough."

"What about my daughter?" Vikram asked with a crestfallen look.

"Birth her yourself." She waved him off.

"I would have if I could." He snorted.

"Sounds like a you problem," she nonchalantly scooped her ice cream.

"I'll convince you," he shrugged, propping his son higher on his lap and mumbling him to eat up faster before the ice cream melts. Ashish flicked a cream on the tip of his nose, earning a fake glare from his father before the man poked his tongue out and licked it off. Ashish giggled.

I smiled at the exchange. I believe we all did. It was just too adorable.

"Now that has the potential to convince me," Nisha bhabhi resigned with a sigh.

Vikram shot her a smirk as we all laughed at the family.

They are absolutely perfect and a dream to me. I hope years into the marriage don't fade our chemistry like other couples. I want to live every moment with Aditya like it's new and sacred to our relationship.

The Batra family left at nine-thirty, worried about Ashish missing his bedtime and creating a scene the next morning about getting ready for school. Sky had stayed up late past his bedtime as well.

We saw them off at the doorstep, waving until the elevator doors pulled close.

"Priya," Sameer called my attention. "If you don't mind, can I take Preeti out for a while? I'll bring her back before eleven, I promise."

I crossed my arms thoughtfully, looking at Preeti who had her hands clasped, pleading at me from behind Sameer while mouthing please over and over again. I chuckled, nodding in response that had her punching in the air with a quiet yes. Sameer turned around with a huge smile and Preeti changed her demeanor to the shy one in a split second.

Aditya shook his head at her antics.

"Let's go. We don't have much time to waste." She said, grabbing Sameer's hand and dragging him towards the door. "Bye Di, have fun on your drive. I promise I'll be back before midnight."

"You mean at eleven," I reminded sternly.

"Yes, Di, I mean before midnight," she winked at me.

I took a step forward in a warning and she scurried out of the house with Sameer stumbling behind in tow. But he managed to look over his shoulder in time to mouth eleven at me. I nodded with a smile.

The silence left me with a chilling realisation that I was now alone with Aditya in the empty house. Looking to my side, my excitement faded when I noticed him busy on his phone.

Really? An almost month of not talking to me properly and his phone is more important to him? I sighed in disappointment.

"Kya hua, meri jaan? (What happened, my love?)" The endearment rolled off his tongue so naturally that it caught both of us off guard.

He blinked up at me nervously, I did the same.

"Uh- I- I don't know this area much so I was looking for a quiet place we can go that's far enough to call it a long drive," he mumbled, fiddling with his phone.

Oh.

"It's okay, let's just drive around mindlessly." I shrugged.

"If that's what you want," he trailed off, shoving his phone back in his pocket. I went to get the car keys while he put on his suit jacket. We left the house together, a slight distance between us that I coveted to cross and hold his hand. But the nymph in me had disappeared now that we were alone and there was no chance of someone interrupting us unintentionally.

"Arey, Priya," one of Mami's society friends stopped short as we entered the lobby area. "That's your husband?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah," I smiled back.

"Hi, beta, mein Nirupa Sahane. B wing mein rehti hoon. (Hi, beta, I'm Nirupa Sahane, I live in the B wing.) I was in Dubai when you two got married so unfortunately, I missed it." She smiled sheepishly.

"I'm Aditya Shrivastava ." He introduced himself. "And it's okay, I'm sure you sent us your wishes."

"Yeah, that I did." She nodded with a smile. "But congratulations again. How much time has it been since your marriage?"

"Almost two and a half months," I answered.

"Oh, still in your honeymoon phase." She chuckled. "Good, good, enjoy while it lasts."

I blanched, feeling Aditya stiffen beside me. Forcing a smile at Mrs. Sahane, we waited until her little chat was over. Fortunately, just as she was about to bring up something else, her phone rang and she had to rush away with an excuse.

Walking side by side to the parking lot, I sat in when Aditya opened the door for me. He bent to collect my fallen pallu hanging out of the seat and laid it gently over my lap.

Our eyes met in that small fraction of a moment, feeling like years passed, seasons changed, but we stayed the same. His gaze flitted across my face as if he was looking at me for the first time, tracing all the contours, imperfections, and flaws. But I didn't feel open or insecure, rather cherished and accepted. I moved ahead with urgency, my actions contradictively slower, in sought of his lips.

But then he pulled away and the door closed.

I looked down at my lap feeling rejected.

He sat inside the car from the other end, bringing the engine to life and pulling the car out of the parking lot. The gates opened up when we made it to the entrance, letting our car pass the security check.

I stared out of the window blankly, opening the window slightest and letting the wind whip across my face. It cooled down the heat of the summer and the burn of the recent rejection.

"I'm not ready yet," he murmured.

I sighed.

Communicate.

Let him know what's in your mind.

Listening to my thoughts, I inhaled a deep breath and opened my mouth, letting the words flow out unfiltered.

"I love the kisses we share, your touch, I even like the intimacy. What I don't like is the-the intercourse."

"The penetration?" He glanced at me.

"Yes." I sighed, thankful he was listening and actually making it comfortable for me. "It was hurtful, to the point I wanted it to end as soon as it began. I don't know why. I really thought it'll get better with time and my body will adjust accordingly. But the more we did it, the more my body began to stiffen at the thought of it. I couldn't fathom why it hurt so much-"

"Have you ever touched yourself?" He interrupted.

"Huh?" I blinked in surprise. "Like- Like intimately?"

He nodded.

I shook my head in response.

"Never?" He asked me in disbelief.

I shook my head again.

"So you've never experienced an orgasm?"

I looked down at my lap in embarrassment.

He sucked in a deep breath. "Wow, I really fucked up the whole thing for you."

"It's not your fault." I rushed to explain. "I should have told you immediately after the first time. It was my mistake. I didn't want to hurt you but how stupid of me. There was no way I could have lied to you for the rest of our lives. I ruined everything." I fiddled with my wrist somberly.

He sighed, as though in defeat. I was surprised when he reached out to grab my hand in his and brought it to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to my knuckles. "I'm sorry too, meri jaan. I was so hurt and embarrassed that I felt better about shutting you out than talking it over." He held my hand against his cheek as he drove efficiently with the other.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I treated you like shit for almost a month." His jaw clenched.

"I lied, I should have known better," I whispered, not wanting him to feel like a perpetrator of the things that transpired between us. I was equal parts to blame if not more.

"You shouldn't have lied, that's true. I felt like a failure when you revealed the truth. Had you been honest with me from the beginning, I would have done my best to not repeat my mistake."

I shrugged. "Let's just forget it all please." I brought his hand to my chest, holding it there protectively in fear he'll separate us again.

He didn't say anything for the rest of the drive.

But I loved it anyway.

To be honest, I was glad he didn't initiate any further conversation. What had to be said between us had already been told in accusations and apologies, now it was time to start anew. And this time, I was going to make sure nothing ruined it.

Yeah, things went smoothly for the first time in a while. Sighs in relief.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.