Sweet creature | Love me, Love me not.

She has the most adorable eyes you could ever fall for, and the cutest smile that takes your breath away.

She has the ability to make you laugh every time she speaks, and whenever you look into her eyes it's so hard to turn away

Unknown

Serenity

I couldn't understand. I couldn't understand why going to this party with Noah kicked my anxiety into overdrive, I couldn't understand why sitting at a lunch table with all his friends, felt like drowning, and I couldn't understand why Kai had left me. Someone said they saw him drive away on his motorcycle this morning, which was odd because, he had just come to visit me only moments before, why would he just leave? and not that skipping school was above his character, but I just thought that he had moved past that. The whole rebellious thing. I guess that was Kai Carson. He did whatever he wanted, yet that still didn't explain why he would just leave so suddenly. I frown my brows together in frustration. I didn't get it. I didn't get him. He kept so much from me, as did I, yet whenever he touched me I felt like I was floating, and whenever he mentioned my name I felt butterflies. Being with Kai gave me so much life, so much purpose. Only with Kai did I feel like I could truly be myself, it's like he saw past everything that I tried to hide, and saw right past it. He just got me. I just wished, I would get him. It drove me crazy - he drove me crazy.

I sigh in frustration, clutching my fist and biting my lip.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" Noah questions, quickly nugging me.

Noah's touch brought me back to reality, and pulled me out of my own thoughts. I was so stuck, focused on Kai that I forgot where I was. In the lunch room, was a giant table filled with all the school Athletic stars, and pretty pageant queens. Because of Noah, I got a personal invitation to sit at the cool kids table. It was my very first time ever joining the bunch for lunch, and Noah thought it would be a good idea to get familiar with everyone, since pretty much everyone at this table would be at Noah's party Tonight. I was "making friends. They just weren't the kind of friends that I wanted to make. The kind of friend I wanted, ditched school and showed up every other day with bloody knuckles, and had a bad reputation. The kind of friend I wanted left me without a single explanation.

"Nothing," I whisper back too quickly. No need to draw unwanted attention to myself at the crowded table.

"Just nerves about tonight" I say, waving my hand dismissively at the idea. At least that part wasn't a lie. I was in fact very nerves to attend a High School party for the first time in my life. A party where it would be full of meathead jocks, and popular girls. At least this wouldn't be my first rodeo with Noah and his squad. I remembered the last time I hung out with them. The cave was the last place I'd gathered with the group and, besides the mean girls that were Maddie and Kylie. Other than that, it was an okay. I had Nothing to worry about - Yet, I couldn't convince myself 100% that that were true. Would tonight be okay? Who knew, I didn't.

Instead on responding Noah places his palms onto mine, holding my hand underneath the table full of crowded teenagers. Nobody seemed to notice the juster between us.

"It'll be okay, I promise" Noah whispers into my ear. A small comforting smile spreading across his face, that meets his eyes. He doesn't let go of my hand, as he turns back towards his group of friends.

"Tonight's party is going to be awesome. My parents are out of town on a business trip, so that means beer, and skinny dipping in the pool until midnight" Noah announces to the group. I was shocked to see how many people got excited over Noah's comment. I wondered which part weer they most excited about. The underage drinking, or the swimming naked in the pool. Both sounded horrific to me. I wouldn't be participating in neither of the two.

"Serenity," An unfamiliar voice calls my name

I look up. My eyes meets a pair of brown eyes across the table. It's was a boy. He wore a Letterman jacket, his skin was a beautiful chocolate brown color, his curls were curlier than mine. He looked at me with a grin as he spoke.

"You've ever been skinning dipping?" He questions.

I shake my head quickly, not saying a word. I could feel my cheeks heating up now.

"Are you kidding me Ray," A girl interrupts, "Look at her." She points to me. "She's probably never even kissed a boy before" She finishes, looking at me with eyes full of judgment, and disgust.

What was with all the girls that surrounded Noah. Each of them were very beautiful, yet very insecure. Insults, and hate were what they were driven on, and they had their guns out aiming at me. They weren't nice people. None of them. Well, besides Aubree who watched the attack on me from the end of the table. Her sea blue eyes sad, and apologetic. Before I could even form words to respond the lunch bell rung, saving me from humiliation. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. As the table began to gather their things I was the first one out of my seat, and practically running for the exit. Too embarrassed to even mutter a goodbye to anyone.

"Hey Serenity wait up" Noah calls after me.

I don't slow my pace.

I feel a pair of hands wrap around my arm, stopping me completely.

"Hey," Noah begins, finally catching me. "Ignore Lacy,okay? Her and Kai used to be a thing and I think she has some kind of vendetta against you"

"Against me?" I question, blankly. "Why?"

"She thinks what everyone thinks in this school. That you and Kai are, a thing.....She doesn't know the truth"

And what is the truth? I wanted to ask him, but not even I didn't know the answer to that question. This was all starting to becoming too much for me to think about. Juggling them both. It was like I was a rope, and Noah stood on one side, and Kai stood on the other. They both pulled me in opposite directions, and I didn't know which to choose, which to release myself to. But, it wasn't a competition, not in the slightest. Noah was a friend, a best friend. He was someone I enjoyed being around, I just didn't enjoy being in his world.

Kai on the other hand was something much more different. It wasn't a competition when he was in the picture. My soul drew to him, my thoughts craved him, my existence felt whole in his presence. When Kai was around I felt something within that I couldn't quit identify. And it wasn't the same feeling that I felt when Noah was around. The feelings I had for Kai were much more stronger. The Hold Kai had on my heart was an unbreakable hold. And then it hit me. Was that the reason why Kai left this morning? Did he somehow think that I was choosing Noah earlier, when I told him that I needed Noah? Was that the reason why his eyes turned cold when I uttered the words out of my mouth. No. He wouldn't actually possibly believe that I would want Noah over him. He has to know how I feel about him. Did he know? Did the words actually need to be said, or did our touch give it away? And When our eyes met, did Kai feel it too? The spark.

He needed to know.

"I have to go to class, I'll see you later tonight, okay?" I question, turning my voice light.

"Yeah. I'll pick you up at 8" Noah says. A strange look flashed in his eyes, but I ignored it. Waving goodbye I turn my feet in the direction of my English class. The class me and Kai shared. I hope he would be there, waiting for me. I needed to tell him how I felt about him, and most importantly to let him know that there is no competition in my heart. That my heart was his, not Noah. Finally, I was going to tell Kai Carson exactly how I felt about him, and I hoped that he would feel the same way about me. I didn't even care if he didn't. As long as he knew. As long as he knew that I loved him.

And nothing else in this world mattered to me, if he weren't in it. Nothing.

Kai never showed up to class. The school day ended, and I never got to see him again. But, I couldn't let my own thoughts consume now. It was now 7:30pm and Noah would be picking me up soon, yet I couldn't shake all these feelings that consumed me. I felt like I was about to explode with all these emotions that ran thought me, all these feelings just bottled up - ready to be poured out. I would have to wait an entire weekend just to see Kai again. I sigh. A weekend was too long. I needed to tell him sooner than that, but I didn't have his phone number, so, it would have to wait until the weekend was over. I sigh again, throwing myself on my bed. The voice wouldn't silent in my head. All I could think about was Kai. Seeing his face again, smelling his scent, hearing his laugh that was rare to most but not to me. I needed my missing piece, because without him I was falling to pieces.

"Hey sweetie, I made cookies if you want some, their fresh" My mom announces, suddenly at my door stop.

I didn't move an inch. I lay face down on my bed as my feelings ran ramped, not interested in cookies. Not even really interested in this party anymore.

"Serenity baby, what's the matter?" My mother questions, quickly coming to my side.

I turn over, on my back this time. My eyes locked onto the ceiling. I speak to the ceiling when I say; "I need to tell a boy how I feel about him, but I don't know how he feels about me, and I won't get to see this boy again, until Monday, and I just," I pause. letting the void fill me.

" I just wish he really knew how I felt about him." I admit. Letting the truth go into the air. All of my emotions and feelings laid out as Kai's face flash in my mind. I see his cold eye in my memory from this morning. I hurt him. I hurt him, and I didn't even realize it - who knew what he was out doing now because of it. He didn't know the truth, like Noah had said earlier. But the truth was that it was him. It was him that my heart called for in the emptiness of time. That he was what I wanted.

"So I'm guessing this boy isn't Noah" My mother states.

I shake my head

"The boy with the motorcycle?" My mother guesses, and I nod in response.

I watch as her eyes turn sad. She pulls me in, closer to her. Her small arms wrapping around me, as she hold me.

"Oh baby," She whispers "It sounds like you really like this boy"

"I do mom, and I didn't even realize how much I loved him, until today."

I sign at my own words, letting guilt rush through me. He doesn't even know how much he means to me.

"Wow. The L word.......I don't think I've ever heard you say that about anyone before"

"Because I haven't felt this before for anyone. Kai's different mom. He makes me feel good. He makes me smile when all I want to do is cry, and he gets me."

"So what's the problem?"

"This problem is he has a past. Maybe one worst than mine, and he isn't exactly an open book about it. Theirs so much that I don't even know about him, things that I want to know, but he hasn't opened up" I correct myself "He won't open up" I correct. Shaking my head at the idea.

"Well, have you tried opening up at all?" She questions. "Because, sometimes when people have a bad past, it's harder for them to open up, and express themselves. And, sometimes the best way to get someone to open up, is if you open up first. It's called trust sweet heart , every relationship needs it to survive"

I let my mothers words sink in. Maybe she were right. Maybe opening up to Kai was exactly what I needed to do to get us past this ocean, that I felt like was keeping us apart - But, was I willing to open up about my past? Was I willing to unwrap, and relieve the moments in my life that ruined me. The moments that brought me scares and pain. Was Kai? I didn't know, but maybe I was. Maybe Kai was the only person that I could get naked for. To take off everything that I tried so hard to cover up, and just let him see me for me. And maybe, just maybe he would get undressed for me, and let me see who he was - on the inside. Isn't that what this all came down to? Trust. Opening up, sharing your scars. To love without fear.

The doorbell rings, breaking us from our moment.

"Must be Noah," I say "I'll get it." I come to my feet at once, heading down the stairs quickly to get the door.

I swing the front door open, but the person that stood on the other side had not been who I was expecting at all.

"Kai"