TRISTAN DEVEREUX

I wasn't certain of myself anymore. My body seemed not to belong to me. My mind seemed to have lost all sense of reason and resolve. It was like some turbulent, vexing force had seized control over me, directing my limbs to do its bidding; retracting every sound decision my mind had made, and turning me into a slave of impulsive emotions.

Every fibre of my being was in knots ever since Mavis showed up in front of me. Not a single minute had passed without me thinking of her.

Heavens knew how hard I tried. To move forward without looking back when she left to purchase necessities. To stay still in my cabin when the ship signalled departure. When all that force wished me to do was rush to the captain and make sure she was on board.

Everything went downhill the moment I gave in. From the time the First mate informed me of Mavis' sleeping quarters, every move I made was impulsive. I didn't stop to think when he told me she declined to leave the bunk room, nor when she demanded that I explain my behaviour.

My resolve to maintain my distance had crumbled abysmally, and would continue to fall as long as she was within my reach.

I didn't fight that force the next day. Our separation fostered questions that put me in a restless sleep, well into the morning hours. How was she? How did she find her new room? What did she think of her new roommate? Was she kind to her? How did she sleep? Was it comfortable enough for her?

The questions constantly roamed my mind—repeating themselves like a spinning wheel.

Seeking answers to them, I departed from my cabin at the crack of dawn and headed straight for the shared Stem and Shoot Class dining hall. Those in Stem Class had a choice on whether to have their lunch and supper in the hall or brought to their cabins, but breakfast was to be served in the dining hall.

I was two hours early, but patience was hardly a virtue of mine, especially now that I had become a puppet of my own feelings. Even so, that did not warrant that I become completely brainless.

I didn't venture into the dining hall, no. Instead, I continued to the saloon. It was rather extensive, with a variety of tables, sofas and chaises. In a corner stood a book and newspaper booth, not yet operative. The area was bright courtesy of the lamps and chandelier despite its desolate state.

The cooks were already up and busy, the bustle of kitchenware echoing throughout the space every now and then.

Twenty minutes later, a thin young man not older than sixteen walked into the saloon. He was dressed in a button-down shirt, brown waistcoat and trousers, his tie straight and pristine. I recognized him as the boy who manned the booth.

A radiant smile bloomed across his boyish face when he saw me. "Good morning, sir," he greeted.

"Good morning." I nodded, glancing behind him at the entry to the dining hall. From the expansive saloon was the wide hallway I'd come through. One entryway led to the dining hall on the right while the other led to the bar on the left.

"I'd like to read a newspaper. Any is fine," I told the boy.

"Of course." He beamed and rushed to the booth.

No payment was required for past issues of newspapers, as long as it was returned after reading. So, with the Valley's Peak in hand, I took a seat in one of the sofas facing the hallway, raising the newspaper to read.

Only, I wasn't reading—not really. My gaze occasionally flitted over the paper to the hallway, keeping an eye out for the people that would later come through—for a glimpse of her.

It was then I realised how excruciatingly slow time could move at moments when everything was urgent; almost desperate.

My gaze flitted between the hallway, the newspaper, and the wall clock in a frenzied pattern. I flipped a page of the Valley's Peak for no other reason than to nullify any suspicions of me the boy might harbour. The words imprinted therein made little sense despite the large lettering.

At seven-thirty, feminine voices carried through the air.

My ears and head perked up in an instant, eager to catch sight of whomever it was. Two women rounded the corner into the hallway, one of them wide enough to smother the other in the passage. The other woman was short, slender, and wore a mob cap over red hair.

I frowned as they walked into the dining hall but snuffed out the disappointment.

Yet the disappointment made it a point to resurface minute after minute, glance after glance, woman after woman that wasn't her.

It was maddening.

At quarter past eight, when I was no longer the only person in the saloon, I began to think that perhaps I had missed her. Perhaps I had gazed too long at the damn newspaper, and perhaps I hadn't been vigilant with their faces and stature.

But no. I had everything about her memorised. Without realizing it, every contour and curve had been burned in my brain, right down to the coils of her hair and creases on her palm. So much so that even without her in front of me, I could draw her portrait.

It had been my first attempt to do so just before she fell unto possession by a taalmin. My hand had moved effortlessly without a need to think. My memory of her was clear as day, my hand attuned to it as if I had drawn her countless times before.

I didn't think much of it at that time, owing my success to my artistic skill and attention to detail. As it turned out; that was merely an excuse to keep my growing affection at bay.

Failing to recognize her amidst a sea of people was an impossibility.

I lifted my eyes above the newspaper, making a double-take. My heart danced, beating twice as fast in a second. A jittery feeling shot down my arms, causing my fingertips to quake and nearly lose grip of the newspaper.

It was her.

She walked in the hallway beside her roommate, but the latter faded into the background. My eyes saw nothing else but her. She walked with a bounce in her step, her mouth running and arms making animated gestures. It was easy to tell by the shine on her face that she was excited. I wondered what preposterous story she blabbered to her roommate. Was it an anecdote of her life in theatre? Or her misadventures with goblins? Maybe it was a description of her favourite book?

Her energy was so vibrant and spirited, it was only then that I found my morning refreshing. Seeing her grin and laugh so carefreely, those curls bouncing ever so slightly, brought me to a calm. The way her skin—a perfect blend of milk and coffee—glowed and flaunted in that simple plain dress had me itching to have it beneath my fingers, if only to make sure it felt just as perfect as I pictured; as I had drawn.

I cursed the distance between us, and cursed myself harder for causing it. Right now, all I wished for was to be next to her. Listen to her stories and the sound of her laugh. Look into those round light brown eyes without caring whether they mesmerized me. Stare at her smile and particularly that snaggletooth, not bothered about the enchantment spell it was sure to cast on me. Tease her about still keeping my necktie in her hair, and perhaps relish in seeing her flustered.

But I could not do any of that.

She walked into the dining hall with her new friend, taking with her the light she'd brought to my otherwise dreary morning, and leaving behind a regretful longing.

*******

Restlessness consumed me. I thought it would be satiated if only I caught a glimpse of her, just to make sure she was alright.

What a fool I had been.

I should have known that allowing myself to succumb to the force of my feelings even once would signify the crossing of a threshold I could not come back from.

Now, here I was—not even noon yet and I traversed the entire ship with the hope to see her again.

For heavens' sake, I even asked a few passengers if they had seen her, giving a small but suitable description. My embarrassment wasn't in vain, for I at last discovered her location.

I approached the ladies' exercise room, shared by Shoot and Stem class. It was usually used for activities such as dance, meditation and light stretching, unlike the men's which had equipment for weightlifting and kickboxing.

Thus, it was a sight to behold; finding the room empty save for Mavis and her roommate, who were locked in a fierce wrestling match on an exercise mat.

My eyes nearly bulged out of my sockets. Both were dressed for the part as well; in fitting trousers and tunics that stuck snugly to their forms.

They rolled in a tangle of limbs that ended in Mavis pinning down her roommate in a tight headlock.

"Tap out!" the greftyr huffed after a while.

They separated, getting to their feet and facing each other. Both panted and glistened with sweat, as though they had done more than one match. They probably had before I arrived, and I wondered how long they had been fighting like this. More than that, I wondered where on earth Mavis had got that outfit.

The snug trousers showed off her long legs, outlining the slight curve of her calves and emphasising the wide curvature of her hips. The black tunic blended seamlessly with the trousers, wrapping closely around her slim waist, bosom and firm set of shoulders. It left her arms exposed, drops of sweat forming a sheen on her skin.

She wore no corset, yet the low V- neck revealed a not-so-subtle cleavage, no doubt assisted by her ample breasts. With every inch of her shapely form I took in, a restructure of her image formed in my brain, working to fill in the parts of her I hadn't seen until today. 

But an underlying, more primal instinct desired to see more; to see everything the tight trousers promised, everything else the tunic hid from view. To have it all gliding unto the surface of my palm where I would savour and cherish it for endless days.

I took a step back, alarmed by the sudden, intense attraction towards her. I knew I shouldn't have been thinking of her this way, but I also knew this was a product of my weak resolve, and the consequences I had to face for my reckless impulses.

I turned away from the door, leaning against the wall in the corridor and closing my eyes to focus on calming down.

I told myself I still had some control and could continue to have control. I focused on reeling back in every emotion; every bloody desire before I completely lost myself.

To her.

"You're quite good at this, Mavis," the greftyr commended, out of breath.

"Well." Mavis sighed, breathless herself. "Like I said, I've had a knack for wrestling in the past."

Her roommate chuckled. "To think that your encounters with goblins and thieves made you this strong. You can already hold your own. Why did you ask me to teach you my techniques?"

A short silence followed before Mavis answered.

"Do you recall the man who escorted me to the room last night? I'm actually travelling with him."

My eyes opened, my ears sensitive to whatever information she had to share about me.

"He's on a quest to save someone dear to him. I know that there will be dangers on the journey ahead. When we're faced with those dangers, I do not wish to be burdensome to him," Mavis said, a tender earnestness to her tone. "Sure, I'm aggressive and tenacious, but I'd like to refine that aggression into a proper fighting style. I might not be able to master everything in these few days, but I want to try and learn something that could be of use on this quest."

An inexplicable warmth filled me at her words. I'd known she was a valiant one, but there was a kind of comfort—an almost intimacy in her going to such lengths to remain by my side.

How was I supposed to keep her at arm's length when she herself made the steps to cover the distance between us? How was I supposed to step back in turn?

"It was a blessing to have a soldier as your roommate, then," the greftyr remarked. "I suppose you have him to thank, right?"

Mavis scoffed. "I would thank him if he'd only let me approach him."

Something tightened in my chest. I let my head fall back against the wall, releasing a pained, forlorn sigh.

"Alright!" the greftyr chirped, the energy returned to her voice. "Should we move on to self-defence, or shall I give you a break?"

Mavis answered in a heartbeat. "Of course, we're moving on! I haven't even broken a sweat, so come, come at me!"

I smirked at that.

*******

I fell into a routine. During the day, I watched Mavis from afar while she carried out her activities of food, training, socializing and touring. During the night, when I wasn't thinking of Adrian, I thought of her and all the activities she'd done during the day. Her delightful face whenever a plate of food or glass of arejinn was served to her, how she took the time to see the two friends she'd met in the Root class, the progress she made during training, impressing me with how quickly she learnt.

How breathtakingly beautiful she looked in the morning sun, against the ocean breeze and in the twilight. How sinfully desirable she was in that training outfit; tackling and defending against her opponent with increasing agility and resilience.

It took all my self-control not to let my mind fall prey to the not-so-innocent fantasies that were sure to bloom in an instant if that seed was planted.

It was on the fourth day as I watched the two women face off that I was joined by another. He was surprised to find that the ladies' exercise room was used for other purposes besides dance and meditation.

It was during this particular fight that Mavis, attacked from behind, was able to grab hold of her instructor and, in a swift, well-thought measure, flipped her right onto her back with a thwack.

And it was then that my excitement completely took over, casting out my past reputation as a stealthy, silent observer peeping behind the door, and turning me into a loud cheerleader.

"Yes!" I shouted, pumping my fist vigorously.

In the split second when Mavis lifted her head, alerted by my cry, I retreated to safety behind the wall. My heart thumped in fear of being caught, yet thrill thrummed in my veins at her achievement.

My new acquaintance was not so lucky. Left standing right at the entryway of the exercise room, his face paled upon the realization that he had been made the victim of mistaken identity. He proved to be a good lad and even better accomplice when he smiled awkwardly and clapped his hands.

"That was great!" He applauded. "Keep it up!"

******

Finally, The Dandelion made port at Raisin coastal town on the mid-morning of the sixth day.

I disembarked, walking to a nearby souvenir shop at the dock. This was a pretext, of course. I pretended to be interested in the wooden carvings and trinkets while I surreptitiously searched the area for a mane of dark brown curls and light,warm skin.

I soon located her, looking every bit confused as she craned her neck and walked among the many beings, no doubt searching for me.

I turned my attention to the ominous-looking wooden carving which had the widest, angriest pair of stagnant eyes I'd ever seen. I feigned nonchalance, analyzing the wide mouth and single, curved nostril.

Why hadn't she noticed me yet?

Looking back into the crowd to check for her again, I found her setting off in a different direction.

"Damn it, Maewitch," I cursed.

Placing the talisman back onto the stall, I started after her, weaving through the crowd and avoiding bulky greftrys carrying bulky luggage.

She departed from the crowd, venturing further into town while I followed at a distance behind her. She looked in all directions as she did, which meant she was still searching for me.

So, I cut into another street, quickening my pace so I would have her meet me up ahead. My plan worked perfectly. I eased back into the same street she was in, only stopping at a fruit stall to keep up my pretence. I had her in my peripheral while I feigned interest in the pineapples, waiting for her to catch up.

Alas, she drifted from my view, thrusting me into a bout of panic. Unsure of where she'd gone, I kept my composure, glaring at the pineapples in front of me.

Not long after, her voice carried towards me from behind. "Found you, fiend."

Instant relief flooded my veins, and I couldn't help the smile that sprouted across my face, nor the jittery, giddy feeling at the prospect of having her close to me again.

Author's ramble:

My boy all acting tsundere🤭.

Tristan's P.O.Vs are usually hard for me to write, so I hope you appreciated this one, even though I cringed writing some of it * ahem ahem* , you know which part🫣.

Thank you for reading😊 and don't forget to vote⭐️!