ODILE GLANCED UP from her laptop as Damian leaned forward to grab the bottle of water off the table. And then she reconcentrated her efforts, continuing to type the email she was writing. The Martha Wayne Foundation was a subsidiary of the Wayne Foundation, and had been servicing the city for the past few years. One of Bruce's greatest creations, in Odile's humble opinion.

This city needed more than just vigilantes in capes. The people at the bottom needed more help than that. Proper help. And Bruce provided it through this. It was making a difference, no matter how small.

They'd fallen into a pattern the past few days. Damian mostly stayed on the sofa. Sometimes he'd take a careful walk around the first floor with help from a cane, making sure he stayed fit and active. Sometimes Odile would join him. Other times she'd be out in the city, making arrangements. Alfred visited every once in a while to check on Damian. Dick had stopped by once, too, though Remiel had been busy.

The air being cleared between them hadn't made things less awkward. In fact, it had just enhanced that sense of not knowing what to say around each other. It was almost better when they were both careful to beat around the bush. Now they exchanged pleasantries and then went on their own ways.

She didn't know how to fix it, though. And he looked so deep in thought these days.

"Can you grab me that bag of biscuits from the kitchen counter?" Damian asked, turning his head. "Thanks."

She stood up from the dining table, handing over the bag of biscuits he'd asked for. As she stood there, she yawned, stretching her arms as well.

God she was tired. Maybe she should make herself some coffee.

He was looking at her when she'd recovered. "You've been working for hours."

"Emails. Correspondence. Trying to see if there's anyone else I can reach out to." She shrugged. "It's fine."

"Come sit and talk with me for a while. You look like you're about to pass out from exhaustion, Odile."

"It's not that serious," she frowned, but she sat down at the end of the sofa anyway. "How are you feeling?"

"Restless. But not like I can do much with this leg." He grimaced. "The boredom is starting to set in."

"Shocking. I thought you'd have gotten to this point days ago, really." She tugged her fingers through her hair. "Maybe... I think I'll call it a night."

"You should," he hummed. "It's quite nice watching you work, though. Your focused face is very pleasant on the eyes."

She glanced at him, a bit surprised. "Is that a compliment?"

"An observation."

"Hmm." She turned away to hide the grin on her face. Okay, maybe looks did have some effect on Damian. "Not too shabby yourself, Wayne."

"But not as handsome as Jon."

She turned to him, blinking. "What?"

"You think Jon's more handsome, don't you?"

She let out a startled laugh. "What kind of question is that? You're both handsome. In pretty different ways as well. Look at your parents, Damian, how could you have ended up as anything except perfection in the field of looks?"

He looked pensive, but pleased. After a long moment, he asked, almost warily, "What did your parents look like?"

The smile on her face froze. Her eyelids fluttered open and shit before she managed, "Why'd you ask that?"

"Just curious. They must have been attractive too."

She tore her gaze away. "I don't really remember them much. I was two when they passed away."

"You know, all these years and I still don't know your name. Your real name."

She looked down at her lap. "Why the curiosity today?"

"I've been rethinking a lot of things. Things that involve that summer three years ago."

"It wasn't the summer, really," she mumbled. "It happened in September."

"My real name was Dai Junyi."

"Dai Junyi... That's a good name. You weren't a Yu, then?"

"I'm distantly related," she replied with a shrug. "It's why I have my powers. And for a distant relative, my powers are rather strong. That's why they took me in."

"I just thought of something else." He shifted forward, sitting a little more upright. "When you first wanted an English name, I suggested Odette."

"Yes."

He'd finally realised it, then. Why she'd chosen her name. Not Odette. She was not Odette. She was not the swan princess. She was just an imposter, a pathetic imposter who'd be exposed one day. Odile. The Black Swan.

"Clever." His lips curled upwards. "I wondered about it then. I didn't realise the explanation would be like this. Have you ever left any other clues?"

Odile shook her head. "That was the one time I allowed myself to... you realise, it's the kind of secret I had to do my best to keep. Grandmother—Yu Lan's grandmother, really, she might have taken me with her if she'd realised I wasn't Yu Lan, but she wouldn't have raised me. She'd have left me at the mercy of the rest of the Yuannan Mountain Sect. I would have simply been forgotten."

"And the identity of Yu Lan makes your quest for vengeance easier."

"Yes."

"It all makes sense now, in hindsight."

"I thought you hated me. After that day at Lang An's."

"I thought you hated me." A rueful smile appeared on Damian's face. "If only we'd just stayed and talked to each other, eh?"

Odile shrugged. "I don't think we could have talked peacefully at that point. It probably would have ended worse than it has. At least we're friends again, yeah?"

"It was very brave, what you did." He tilted his head. "I don't know if I could have done the same thing at nine years old. Very courageous. Very smart."

"You could have." She let her head hang. "You would have done better than me. You might have been able to save a few of the kids at the sect."

"No. I would have prioritised my own survival. I would have been out of there before you could even blink. That's what I would have done." He spread his arms and then winced. Odile moved forward.

"Don't move that arm. Damnit, Damian."

"It's fine."

They were quiet for a moment, both deep in their own thoughts. Finally, he said, "I wish you'd come back to Gotham last summer. And the summer before. I would have talked to you then. But then again, perhaps I should have gone to Hong Kong to seek you out."

"Pointless. The moment Remiel told me, I'd have already made a thousand excuses to be out of the city by the time you got there."

"Fine." Damian rubbed his forehead. "I'm too stubborn for my own good. I don't know about you. You're usually better than me in that department. But I guess everyone messes up sometimes."

"I didn't know how to face you again," Odile admitted. "Between... the League and you realising I wasn't who I said I was. I'm surprised you never told anyone else. Neither did Jon."

"We both kept quiet. I told him to." Damian shook his head. "It was your secret to tell."

"Thank you."

"You never told anyone it was the League either."

"I have now." She paused. "Remiel and Dick both asked about it. They both know now. But no one else."

"You don't need to hide it for my sake. No one would blame me for it. Tell who you want."

"Maybe." She sighed. "I don't know."

The unfortunate truth, it finally struck her, was that Odile had never quite moved on. No, she was stuck in the past more than anyone. Every inch of her past haunted the steps she took now. Everything she did, she thought about how what had been would affect.

In the end, she was the only one truly stuck in the past.

—

THREE YEARS AGO,

SHE WENT BACK the day after. Afternoon, when she was sure Lang An would be in. And she went in the proper way, knocking on the door, dressed in civilian clothes.

He didn't look surprised to see her when he opened the door. He offered a small nod, and then let her in.

He motioned for her to sit. And then he went to the kitchen, returning a moment later with a kettle, pouring some tea into a cup before her. She didn't touch it. Just yet.

"You watched Yu Lan die?" Odile asked, swallowing.

"With my own eyes." There was a sad smile on his lips, one that did not reach his eyes. Bitterness. Regret. "It should have been me."

"No." Odile's voice was matter-of-factly. "It should have been me. Have you pieced together who I am?"

Lang An tilted his head. "I've been thinking about it the past few days. You clearly know much about her, which narrows it down. Yu Lan had a little group of companions back in the day. Children of other high-ranking members of the sect, cousins and the like. And there was one girl. Same age as her. A distant cousin, I think, and talented with her magic. They saw the potential in her at an early age, and thus had her be raised in the Yu Manor."

"I've been pretending to be Yu Lan for so long I've sometimes forgotten who I was before."

Lang An stared at her for a moment. "I thought long and hard for your name. My memory is not what it used to be. Dai Junyi, is it not? How did this twist of fate come about? How did you end up befriending a member of the League of Assassins and consider him your friend? I must confess, I am shocked he left me alive."

"He's not one of them anymore." Odile tilted her head. "You don't need to worry about him. He won't move a finger against you. But I do not know if we are friends anymore."

"I do not trust the League of Assassins."

"He's more than that." She paused for a moment. "I do not know if you know, but Ra's al Ghul is dead. Has been for a few years."

"The boy told me." He shook his head quietly. "I am out of the loop."

"Talia al Ghul is still alive."

"Will you go after her?"

She'd thought long and hard about it the night before. She'd come to a simple answer. "I can't." She didn't elaborate.

He said, "Don't."

"But the sect—"

"Sometimes, justice won't be served the way you wish for it to be. But fate will punish her for it. It's not worth destroying your own life over." Lang An shook his head. "I made peace with it. I put it all in the hands of heavens."

"How can you live with that?"

"I am one old man. What can I do against the League of Assassins?"

What could she do against Talia al Ghul? Killing was never an option. All her friends and family would turn against her. And she likely wouldn't be able to get away with it either. And she just... couldn't.

There was Damian. And Seraphina. And Remiel. Talia al Ghul was not some faceless enemy. She was someone connected to the people she loved and cared for deeply.

She wished it was easier. She wished she was stronger, a little more heartless.

"And the elixir?" She glanced up. "Do you have it?"

He nodded. "It's somewhere no one will ever find."

"You are certain?"

"I buried it. Only I know the location. The main branch of the Yu family, the ones who'd be able to open the box, I watched them all get cut down before me."

"People will kill for it again, you know," Odile whispered. "One day the legend of the elixir will get out again, and people chasing immortality will try to find it. There is no stone that will be left unturned."

"I couldn't destroy it." Lang An shook his head, letting out a sigh. "I could not."

She knew exactly how he felt.

She sat there with him for a long time that day, conversing, discussing their past. He gave her lots of advice. She kept some and discarded the others. They exchanged means of communication, though Odile doubted she'd ever reach out to Lang An again.

She'd gotten all the answers she'd asked for. But none of them had been what she wanted. In fact, when she left his house a few hours later, she felt weak on her feet.

She hadn't seen Jon or Damian since yesterday. Neither had tried to contact her. She didn't want to contact either of them either.

It was too much. They'd learnt she was a fraud. That she'd been lying to them all this time. And how was she supposed to face Damian? How was she supposed to look at him and know what his mother and grandfather had done? Even though he hadn't known, even though he wasn't guilty...

God.

And Seraphina?

Had Seraphina already known?

She'd always seemed a little bit uncomfortable every time Odile mentioned her quest. And the way she'd been so immediately... nice to her, the first time they met. Almost as if she felt... guilty.

How was she supposed to face anyone again?

—

SHE DIDN'T GO to the Yuannan Mountains immediately. She spent another week in Shanghai, pointlessly going around. And she did a lot of reflecting. A lot of thinking. She revisited a lot of her past. Allowed herself to think of the things she'd blocked from her own memory for so long.

黛珺宜. Dai Junyi. That was the name she'd bore for the first nine years of her life. And it had been seven years since she'd written those characters down. Seven years since she'd been called that. Even in her own mind, she referred to herself as Yu Lan. That was who she had to be.

Grandmother hadn't been in her right mind, really, by the time she'd found her. Well, Yu Lan's Grandmother. And the old woman had only seen the real Yu Lan a few times before. Odile had grown up with Yu Lan as her companion, friend and distant relative that it hadn't been difficult to pose as her.

It was her only way out.

Yu Lan, the real Yu Lan, was one of the kids who'd run out that day. Who'd tried to make a run for it.

And when Grandmother came after it was all done, when she'd called out Yu Lan's name, Odile had only given it a second's thought.

She was an imposter. There was no way around it.

She'd been lying to everyone. Herself too. She'd been lying to herself for so long that in a way, she did become Yu Lan. Everyone thought she was Yu Lan. No one knew the truth. Not Shan Ling, not Remiel, not Seraphina. No one.

But now the secret was out.

Would Damian and Jon tell the others?

Should she tell Remiel that the League of Assassins were the culprits?

It didn't feel right. It didn't feel right at all.

She'd keep her mouth quiet. For now. One day it would come out, no doubt. She had no idea how she was meant to face Seraphina again.

I did it to survive.

But she could have come clean about it a long time ago. She didn't need to lie about it for this long. She'd done it because she was scared. She could have told them who she truly was a long time ago.

Why hadn't she?

Because what are you, once you're not Yu Lan?

What Lang An hadn't mentioned was that she was an orphan. She'd lost her parents when she was a toddler. She'd been raised by the Yu Manor staff. The Dais were distantly related to the Yus, but unimportant in the grand scheme to the sect. She was nothing. Being Yu Lan gave her a purpose in this world. Dai Junyi had no purpose.

So she'd held onto the identity for dear life. Continued it, even in front of Lang An, because she was too scared to face the truth. She was willing to take the chance of being exposed as a fraud because she was too terrified to let people know she was an imposter this entire time.

Odile.

What a great name she'd chosen.

sorry for the long wait!!!!!!!! i'll try to do weekly updates but no promises