If there was one word you could use to describe your life right now, it'd be confusing.

So, so confusing.

But it was getting better.

Your motivations were slowly getting narrowed down, your emotions were getting sorted, and most of all, you were actually walking.

Kinda.

Still a bit of a limp, but ladders were no problem, so you freely roamed the house. Not that there was much else in the house- aside from cluttered chests and a central hub of all the important crafting tools (ie. Furnace, anvil, brewing stands.)

The brewing stands were interesting for the first six potions you tried making, and after that...

It got tedious loading them with ingredients.

The itch for freedom rang strong in your head, and boredom tried drowning it out, but it couldn't stop you from pacing outside the front door, and staring out the cold frosted windows.

Something that still hadn't gotten less confusing was your relationship with Techno.

After the whole fiasco that was Techno being an emotionally stunted prick, and you being a worried dumbass who hobbled out into a snow storm- things were strange.

So so strange.

He was trying his best to respect the fact that you wanted space- but you both are under the same roof- and its a tiny house, so it's not like you can stay in your own corner.

Besides that, he still has to help you switch your bandages, not like that can just be dropped.

Now that you can walk, you solve your own food problem by rummaging around, so no more random soup times.

He'd sit down and read a book near the attic window every once and awhile, and it was completely your choice as to if you wanted to hang out in the same room, so that was something, but overall you spent more time by yourself then you did in company.

You guess there was progress? You could actually talk with him, there was actual conversation happening, and good laughs passed around- but sometimes he would look at your neck and flinch- and other times you'd see him grin just a bit too wide and see withers flashing behind him.

Stupid withers.

It was an uphill battle.

Yet here you were.

Lounging casually near a window, staring deeply into the dark swirling mist of yet another snowstorm.

If there was a snow equivalent to a rainy week, that's exactly what was happening these past few days.

Yet each and every day, despite the raging snow, Techno would go off into the chill- pink braided mess of a hairdo and crown held high.

There you were, sitting at the window, still staring into the snow. You weren't sure for how long, but the thick snowflakes and clouded sky got darker and darker the longer you sat there.

A chill prickled at your skin, goosebumps covering the arm pressed against the window. A cold sort of feeling was settling in your system, one caused by the dread of never being free, and the other caused from the sight of the storm. The dark billowing clouds felt like they were pulling you to them, sucking you up into their fury, blowing the fireplace out- tearing away the house you sat in till the only thing left was you... and the neverending ever-present hunger.

A hunger for freedom.

Now more then ever, you felt like you understood why Phil is always moving.

Why he never stays, and why he always has to chase the edges of the world.

You sigh.

Not out of sadness, but out of contemplation.

Staring out this window wasn't helping you.

With a huff, you pull away from the frosted glass, meandering over to the fireplace instead.

The cozy, brick built fireplace, that smelt of autumn-

There were pelts hung up on it. And the blankets that lay on the floor were the fleece ones you had yoinked from the attic bed.

You sat down, curling into the blankets, taking in a deep breath and only smelling yourself in the fleece.

After a bit of thinking, you found no comfort in the smell. It was a smell that reminded you that you were alone. Therefore you did not like it.

But the fire was nice.

Staring into it made happier memories spark in your head, so for awhile that's what you focused on.

Any small clicks of distant happier memories you could get.

You remember your siblings. How much all of you would fight. Tooth and nail over the stupidest things.

Whenever your mother came home, everyone would be the epitome of cordial, before descending right back into chaotic play fighting when she'd leave.

You all were like piranhas- fiesty little gremlins who chewed on sticks and fought over toys.

God.

You miss everyone.

Not just your mom.

You grit your teeth, staring into the fire picturing nothing but memories that were now permanent aches in your head.

You'd never have that family setting again-

Why were you even thinking right now.

It was pointless to think about those things.

And if you were to think about those things, you should be thinking about your brother- and how to fix that relationship- but how were you supposed to talk to him when he took residence across a literal fucking graveyard.

The door swings open before your thoughts can get any worse- and you flinch, huddling into your blankets and turning to look at who came in.

Techno.

As per usual.

"Haallllo..." He utters, staring for a moment before kicking snow off his boots.

The chill that swept in with him made you squint, but you wave back in hello regardless.

Your mind flashes back to where he hugged you. Right in the exact spot your were sitting.

Cuddled you.

No.

Not cuddled.

Cuddled did not work better then hug, no. That wasn't cuddling in any way.

Even if he held you- and pulled closer every time you shivered. Closer into the heat of his chest.

You remember how warm he was- how much that warm latched onto you and refused to give you up.

You watch him for a bit longer as he dusts snow off himself, sending specks of water everywhere as the snow starts melting in the warmth of the house.

Eh.

You flick your head back to the fireplace, scooching closer for heat.

Let him do his business. You didn't need to watch.

The sound of his cloak being unclipped comes next- dense fabric hung against the wall, and with that, he steps over to you, hovering behind you for a moment, before something gets thrown onto you-

By the time you wiggle it off your head, he's already in the basement, and what other then a deer pelt is resting on your lap.

Wow.

More pelts.

Huh.

He seemed to gather a lot of them.

You've seen the basement before, and you assume he's tossing all the stuff he got into the chests down there, but you don't focus too much on noises.

Back to staring at the fire.

Which needed a bit more wood in it.

You reach to the log rack, pulling at a piece before tossing it into the fireplace.

Only two more left.

Mm.

You'd have to get more. But like hell you're asking for more- you feel out of place telling Techno that he's out of firewood.

Mainly because it's you burning all the wood. You doubt he'd go through it as fast if you weren't here.

A stray ember flicks out, quickly turning to ash.

If you really wanted to, you could sit in the fire, that'd be nice. But like...

That also brings in the question of clothes being flammable- and you not being flammable-

Long story short, you don't want to take a bath in Techno's fireplace.

That's weird.

If you were in the nether by yourself, thousands of meters away from society, you'd consider taking a dip in a lava lake, but until then... nah.

The ladder creaks and the trapdoor opens, but you don't look.

You already know who it is, so instead you keep steady eyecontact with the open flame.

Slow footsteps head your way, Techno hovering behind you for a moment before tapping something warm onto your head.

You glance up, eyes going wide as you realize what was being offered to you.

"Holy shit..." with a gentle hand you reach up, grabbing the cup he was holding out to you.

"How did you get coffee??" You ask, completely flabbergasted as to how he got his hands on it-

He makes a grunting humming noise, before flopping down next to you on the floor.

"I have my ways." He says, lifting both hands behind his head to unclip the bone mask.

It slides off, and once again you're met with two familiar red eyes. The fire made them nearly glow-

He turned, stretching an arm out to set the mask down on some random table before settling back onto the floor and letting out a deep exhale.

When his gaze flickers back to you, you squint, "Well-... I think-" you snatch his arm up, bringing his long white sleeve to your face giving the fabric a sniff before saying, "You went to Pogtopia."

He smelled once again like fire.

The nether was the only place he could've gone- because the nether is one damn convenient way to fast travel, and why fast travel unless you knew specifically where you wanted to go.

"You totally yoinked my coffee supplies." You utter with a raised brow.

"I will nether confirm nor deny your accusations." He says after a moment, rubbing the arm you grabbed, looking just as blankly into the fire as you used to be, "As a wise man once said, you can't accuse another man of stealin' if you have no proof- Sun Tzu."

"That...." You squint at him, and he raises an eyebrow at your stare, "Sounded so incredibly not real."

"Clearly you've never read The Art of War, by Sun Tzu."

"Uuh- no- but that quote on quote 'quote' sounded so suspicious."

Techno shakes his head, in a fake haughty sort of way, rolling his eyes and puffing an indignant air out of his mouth.

He stares at the fire for a few moments before turning his attention back to you- eyes scanning the coffee cup you were holding.

"Good?" He asks.

"Very pleasant." You reply, heat from the cup bringing some essence of feeling back into your fingers- so that much you were grateful for.

"Good."

He hums. A pleased hum. A hum that said he was happy about an outcome.

"Thank you." You say after taking a sip of the coffee. A little more bitter then you liked it, but regardless it was nice.

He doesn't reply.

But he does sit with you for a little longer. Pure silence.

Only the shared view of fire, and a half awkward, half calm atmosphere.

After awhile, he finally stands, looking to you with a brief, "Gonna read." Before disappearing up the ladder.

You let him. Merely sipping the coffee and calmly letting yourself relax.

The windows were getting darker out, and with a yawn you realized just how late it was getting to be.

Yet another day of doing nothing.

You don't move from your spot until you're done with the coffee. And even after it's finished it takes you even longer to get up.

But as soon as the fire dies out, and there's no more wood to pop in, you scatter.

Directly up the ladder, and firmly into the pelt covered bed.

Techno, who true to his word was reading a book, only glanced at you. Watching you just long enough for your entire body to disappear under the fleece and pelts.

Whatever warmth was coming from the fire place was bound to dissipate soon, and you weren't going to take chances outside the blankets.

A good fifteen or so minutes pass, and it's exactly as you suspected. You poke your face outside the blankets, and the air feels frigid.

Whatever warmth you're holding onto is gonna vanish, but you sit there, swaddled under all the blankets and making peace with the fact that you're gonna be cold.

"Did the fire go out?" Techno asks, lifting a hand into the air like he was testing the temperature.

"Yeah."

He hums at your response, contemplating, "No more wood?"

"Nope."

Immediately, he sets the book back down neatly on the shelf, standing up and making his way down across the room.

"Where are you going?" You ask, to which he just shrugs and keeps walking.

Whatever. He can do what he wants.

You had a sinking suspicion he was going out for more wood, despite basically already settling in for the night.

"If you don't feel like it, don't do it." You say to him- but it was too late, he was already down the ladder, and the door was already being opened.

A new chill rushed in with the door, so you huddled farther into the blankets to avoid being nipped by it.

Another five to ten minutes pass and the room gets colder.

The chill had begun to seep into you, regardless of the blankets- and you hated the fact that you couldn't just get up and walk out into the sun.

Soon enough, the door is being opened again, and of course you hear wood being dropped into the fireplace.

The ladder creaks, and there comes Techno, meandering right back over to his book, sitting down and smoothing over the page he left off at.

"You didn't have to do that." You say.

"I didn't." He replies.

His reply has you staring at him. Taking in the sight of his long lashes, tilted down to read- seeing the red in his eyes all but glow next to the candle he had lit beside him.

He fluttered his gaze up, meeting eyes with you, before flittering back down.

I wanted to.

He seemed to say.

You huddle farther into your blankets, sinking completely under them to avoid another chance at eyecontact.

Just fall asleep.

That's all you needed to do to skip to the next day- to skip and hope your stitches were fully healed-

But you just... couldn't.

You were hyper aware of everything, from the distant noice of a crackling fire, to the occasional page being flipped- atop the ceiling you heard snow, gently ticking onto the roof- gently frosting the window-

Every noise was another reason to not drift off- every noise was another reason to just... exist.

You throw the blankets off your head, groaning out of exasperation and glaring at the ceiling.

The air was warmer then before.

Definitely still cold though.

You can almost feel the inquisitive gaze Techno sent your way, but you try your best to ignore it, just like all the noises.

"Can't sleep...?" He asks, testing the waters, seeing where your mind was at.

When you nod, he hums, "Cold still?"

"...Kinda."

A book closed, and you watched as Techno stood, shoulders as broad as ever, head held high as always. He blew out the candles, submerging the room into shadow.

He takes a stride over to your bed, looking down at you, who was still huddled in pelts and fleece.

"This sounds cringe." Techno starts with, "Like incredibly cringe. But if you need help keeping warm, tell me what I can do to help... " He trails off, and you could see him cringing at himself for asking, "Eck- human decency. Disgusting."

That's all it took for you to lift an arm, blankets opening to show the mattress beneath. An invitation in- a request. Wordless.

The red of Techno's eyes seemed intense for a second. Narrowing in on the open blankets, before he gently plucked the crown off his head- setting it onto the endtable.

He hesitated a moment longer.

..

"If you don't want to, it's fine." You say, starting to close the blanket- to try and retain whatever heat was there- but not a second later and Techno seamlessly slid under the blankets.

"This is fine...?" He asks, staring at the ceiling, still a good distance from you.

He was being considerate of you, you realized.

He was giving you your space- never truly acting until you said you were fine with it- and something in you melted-

Just a little.

Because when you thought back on how many people were genuinely considerate to how your mind operates, not many people come to the surface.

"This is fine." You reply.

The bed was cramped- the truth of the matter was that this bed was only sized for one Techno sized person, not a Techno and an extra.

The warmth emitting from him was heavenly- but if he was keeping a space between you, you didn't want to push that.

Instead, you reached a hand out, pressing it to the skin of his arm. Just to gage if he would flinch away or not.

"Gods- you're cold..." he utters, rolling onto his side, facing you, reaching for your hands and pulling them up so he could look at them.

The warmth of his hands sunk into your own.

"Thanks. It's part of my charm."

His thumb rubs a small motion into your hand, before sliding down your arm, goosebumps flicking across your skin with the contrast in temperature.

His hand halts.

Right where your lines should be. He thumbs over the spot, warmth being etched into your skin.

You take the calmest breath you could.

..

"Why don't you have lines."

..

His eyes flicker up to you, and even in the darkness, the red glowed. Like an animal- light refracting from somewhere in the room and letting crimson light meet your gaze.

He couldn't have seen your arm in this lighting... could he...?

It's way too dark. And the lines on people arms don't stick out, it's just skin- so it's not like he could have felt that there weren't lines.

Unless...

When you were all but unconscious he saw them? But wasn't Phil the one with medical know how??

You were confused.

So confused, and you squinted, not that he could see. Unless he could see??

"Reasons." You say.

"Phil doesn't have lines either." Techno speaks, voice growing low- hushed- as if what he was talking about shouldn't be talked about.

"Only people who don't play by a mortals rules don't have lines."

You're dead silent.

So, so tempted to take your hands out of his grip, but his thumb keeps rubbing warm circles into your skin- and gods the warmth felt nice.

"People who don't play by those rules... the people who have there own rules on life? Those people are usually gods." His hand slides back up to your hand, "Gods, or familiars to gods- any other terms that can be used to or relate back to divinity."

You hold your breath.

Your mind was running thousands of possibilities- all the different ways Techno was going to hurt you. With knowledge- with what he knew- because how much did he really know?

"I really wish I could ask you what you are." He says, and the tension in you unfurls.

The question still lingered on your head- how much did he know- but the fact that he wasn't pushing- that fact that he relented- took an edge off your mind.

"I really wish I could visit my friends." You say, trying your absolute best to veer away from what he was originally talking about.

Phil trusted him. Why else would he know Phil didn't have lines. Why else would he understand things he shouldn't.

He laughs. But there was no humor in it.

"I know you do." He murmers in a sad sort of tone, "And you will."

This moment is hard for you.

Hard because from previous experiences you know that sharing personal thoughts- feelings- with Techno makes him shell himself off.

Now more then ever you wanted to speak- but did you? What if speaking just farther closed Techno off- what if he couldn't understand what you were thinking- what if everything wrong happened?

You glance back up at him- catching the red of his eyes.

You'd trust him.

Please don't throw that trust back in your face.

"Waiting takes so long." You reply, so hesitant sounding- still untrusting that he wouldn't take in this info without spitting everything back at you, "It's agonizing, because all I can do is worry."

He went silent.

Both of you did.

You know the way you spoke made it sound like staying here was a limbo- and honestly it was.

He takes a rattling breath, "Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn."

The hands he had on your own gave a gentle squeeze, "Keep your head up. You'll be free."

Something in you finally quelled with that. Momentarily. The deep seated worry that ran through you paused, because he was right. You were going to be free. You were going to heal. But there was nothing you could do to speed up time.

The fact that he actually listened to you, and replied with an intelligent answer helped as well.

Nothing bad happened.

And the answer seemed to come from him.

A small huff came out of him, and you swore you saw him smile when he tacked on a small, "Sun Tzu."

"Okay- that did not come out of Sun Tzu-" you groaned- rolling your eyes and smacking his shoulder.

The rumble of laughter in his chest picked up- and when the glow in his eyes vanished- you knew it meant he was holding back his laugh so hard that his eyes squinted closed-

"You little liar- I knew it-" You further picked at him- until he couldn't keep back this awkward sounding laugh- his sweet- awkward laugh- that sounded as though he didn't often flex his vocal chords in such a way.

You laughed with him, with his gasping laughs- that sounded like instead of exhaling, he was inhaling all his noise.

It was unique- and just made your grin grow wider.

"It was Elif Shafak-" He finally said, "I read it in passing a long time ago, but it was memorable enough. I guess."

"I'm not even gonna question how you remembered a full paragraph."

"Oh, the real paragraph was much longer, I just narrowed it down. I can recite it for you if you'd like?"

"No."

He stares at you for a small moment before breaking into laughter again.

Two laughs in a row?

Never.

He's being extraordinarily social tonight.

"Do you like Greek mythology...?" He asks.

"I know you do." Was your quick reply, "Thirty percent of the books you own are Greek mythology."

He squints, "Mmmm- I don't know about thirty. I'd give it a solid forty-five percent."

You glance to said bookshelf.

"Yeah, okay, you're probably right there..." You take a moment to think about your answer to his question, "They're okay though. A bit difficult to read. What about them?"

He pauses.

"Just curious." He murmurs.

"Just curious." You repeat.

"Yep."

"Okay."

"'Kay."

You laugh at how quickly the conversation fizzled down, rolling over in the bed to instead look at the wall.

The bed was much warmer now- with the pelts, and fleece- and the Techno most noticeable. Sitting here felt like a little nest of everything cozy and plush.

This was nice, you decided.

"Well Good night." You say.

"Nite."

You never slept better.