Stress nightmares become just-... just a little more frequent.

And considering only two days had passed since your first one, maybe a little wasn't the right measurement for that. You've had at least five.

You would have one every time you tried to doze off- so what used to be an optional sleeping choice became a prison.

No sleep.

At all.

Not unless you want another nightmare- with no comfort waiting on the other side of consciousness.

And being awake for that long left you all the time in the world to t h i n k.

Think about so many things.

Worry about so many words that didn't matter, and over analyze every conversation you've ever had.

Maybe you should've been softer with Tommy when telling him you still wanted to be Techno's friend-

Maybe Wilbur would be kinder if you phrased your reprimand differently-

Maybe they all hated you-

It was an unhealthy hole to fall down- you knew this- you knew it so incredibly well, and yet you started to slip down the ledges-

All your thoughts circled around apologizing. To Tommy.

But how could you apologize to him if you haven't even apologized to your brother?

Oh God your brother-

You do need to apologize-

For the argument that caused your falling out? For responding with just as much hate and negativity as he was?

Maybe you'd still have a piece of family near you if you did.

Those thoughts led you here.

To the nether portal.

To the main hub area, standing on the staircase lined hill next to the community house, and soaking up all the flaking mist and purple specks that came from the portal to your homeland.

You stared deeply into it, running around the idea of actually going to see your brother. Your hand held the compass he had given you a long time ago- before your falling out. It was self explanatory if the purple sheen to it was anything to go by.

It led directly to him.

You could go visit him- see if he was still angry- maybe make amends.

That's what you were trying to do the first time you met Technoblade and accidentally shoved him off a cliff.

He had been the perfect excuse to call it quits for the day- how repulsive of you.

Avoiding the inevitable.

But this time Techno wasn't here to give you an excuse to keep procrastinating.

You were by yourself- with the compass, and your watch, and your bloody fire proof genetics- and you were going to go make amends!-

Any and all thoughts got sucked right back up into you when a silhouette came strutting through the portal- figure shrouded in purple particles briefly before stepping out. The purple portal slipped off his figure like water, re-merging with the main obsidian frame and becoming a solid wall of lavender mirror.

Ah.

Yes.

Technoblade.

You haven't seen him in awhile.

You wonder what he's been up to.

His sword was held firmly in his hand, absolutely dusted in ash and dust, from the top of his pink head of hair, and past his broad shoulders- down his waist and scuffed worn boots. He was covered with the scent of fire and death.

At your stare he peered at you curiously, and while the mask was on, just by the tiny tilt of his head you knew he was questioning you.

"Hallo." He mutters, shaking his head in a dog like fashion and shooting a good portion of soot puffing into the air.

"Hello Technoblade." You say- now nervous and glancing at your compass one last time before tucking it into your pocket before he could see.

Maybe later.

Not now.

Who needed to do important things? Not you.

Techno's head tilted to your pockets, catching you stow the compass away. The grip of his sword shifted and you instantly realized how fishy that looked.

You? Out here when you usually aren't? Tucking a compass that looked like it led somewhere important into your pocket to hide it from his sight?

You were the definition of suspicious.

"What are you uh- what are you doing out this way...?" He asks, straightening his back, towering over you. You weren't sure if he was purposely trying to intimidate you, or if he was doing it unconsciously but a cold sweat shot down your spine at the glint of his sword regardless.

"Just- you know-" Your hand scratched at the back of your head, tugging through your hair while you contemplated coming out with a truth or a lie.

Techno hated lies, so you decided to be as honest as you could be, "Just... contemplating whether or not to visit my brother."

"Oh." He dumbly says, still holding a certain type of tension in his body.

With a graceful twirl of his sword he sheaths it, wiping his hands together and sending dust flying out everywhere again. He doesn't move from his position in front of the portal, merely staring at you longer, further making you wish you could read his mind.

Okay- maybe you shouldn't use Techno as an excuse to call it quits.

Maybe you should try and visit.

Glancing up to the bone mask you tilt your head at Techno, in very much the same fashion he was, as though to ask why he was still standing there, and he nearly jumps as he realizes that you'd need access to the portal.

"Oh- right-" He shakes his head, stepping aside and leaving the path open, letting the purple mist be open for your prying eyes.

Instead of trotting in, you kept staring though- raking your head for excuses to get out of doing this.

A muffled noise comes from the man beside you and your head snaps over to Techno, watching as he shuffles where he stands, strands of pink hair swinging as his head tilted to give you a hesitant glance, "Do you need help."

"Help?"

"Like an escort."

"..." You squint your eyes at him, more confused then anything.

In response to your confusion he swings a hand down, patting the hilt of his sword and spitting out, "You don't have a weapon."

There's a brief moment of silence and he fills it by coughing nonchalantly and a muttered, 'nerd' coming out of his lips. You give him a flabbergasted look at his offhand comment.

"YOu little!- I heard that!" You lightly punch him in the arm, and he just lets out a strangled laugh, choking it away before you could really hear it.

He calms himself first, you relenting your punching hands to instead let him say his piece.

"So? Help or no." He asks, resting his hands on the edges of his hips and giving a shrug, "If you're good on confidence I don't mind heading back. I've got a lot of stuff to drop off."

You hesitate- looking from Techno, to his sword, to the portal, and to your hands. You ran a checklist of everything you could possibly need- and what bringing along Techno would entail.

There is an issue that rises if Techno comes along.

A very small one, that can be avoided quite easily.

Your brother-

If he saw Techno he'd kill him on sight. No if's, and's, or but's about it. He was brutal out of a taught necessity.

You wring your hands together as you keep treading with that thought, and you finally speak when Techno shifts closer as though to listen to you better, "If I take you with me, I'm gonna have to ask you to do something before we actually reach my brother."

He hums- not in agreement, but question.

"You'll have to just- hang back? And not approach?" Shooting Techno a nervous grin, you withhold the fact that if he saw your brother he'd know exactly what you are and what you can turn into, "He lives so distant from people because he can and will kill people out of hate."

"Wow." Techno deadpans, "What a nice guy."

"Yeah." You sardonically reply, keeping your gaze trained on Techno, "But yeah. He'll try and kill you if he sees you. So just- hang back when we get there."

"I doubt he can kill me. But if you really want me to... sure."

"Thank you."

The soft smile you gave Techno was quick, and he flinched his head away from the look, turning to look at the portal and muttering something incoherent to himself. Almost like it was directed to someone else entirely.

Maybe the voices?

Eh- whatever. He can talk to them all he likes.

You don't care.

Taking a shuddering breath, you look back to the portal and take the first uneasy step into it, the ghost of Techno close behind easing a small portion of your mind.

You could do this.

You had your kind-of-friend with you.

Your kind-of-friend that has ten times the experience you have with combat if something unexpected happens.

Now that you thought about it, Techno's experience with violence only ever eased your mind. Which you don't know if that was a good thing or not, but shrugged it off regardless.

You had a mission.

And with Techno here to help you felt stronger then before, confidently treading off in the direction your compass tilted, following the little needle closely as you both tramped across the battered netherack.

For the most part it was a silent journey.

You blazing forward, Techno effortlessly murdering anything that seemed hostile. His sword was deadly. Netherite shimmering with enchantments and setting everything it touched to flames.

Out of the corner of your eye you watched him draw his crossbow, swiftly lining up a shot before an arrow shot off the bow.

Aim, fire and hit. Yet another ghast was deflating like a hot air balloon, a dying screech echoing from its throat as it hit the ground and sizzled into nothing.

You noticed he would stop to collect whatever they dropped, so you decided to wait up for him this time, letting him scoop a few smooth stones off the netherack and tucking them into his pocket. Ghast tears. Useful suckers, so you figured it wasn't harmful to stop for them.

"You planning on making a lot of potions?" You ask as he catches up, falling in line with you as you start back on your walk.

"Something like that. Regen is ten times better in combat- so any little bit helps." He pauses, seemingly thinking back on something before groaning a, "Don't even get me started on how sparse potion supplies are. I spent two days scowering this abhorrent wasteland for nether wart."

"Oof- Yeah, this place is pretty desolate at times."

"Yeah." He agrees. Barely a few steps later he looks at you again and bluntly asks, "So why is that child avoiding you?"

"Child?" You speak the question just as your mind connects who he's referencing- grimacing and remembering how he kept ignoring you, "Oh. Tommy."

"Yeah. That child." Techno gives you a small observing look before looking forward as he jumps over a small patch of rougher netherack, "He wasn't crawling all over you today- which is surprising."

"I guess."

Your short answer was quipped with unease. Spiraling thoughts swinging back to think about what had happened. You felt terrible.

"He and I had a bit of a disagreement- and we haven't exactly been on talking terms. Which sucks."

"Tell me about it." Techno laughs, without humor and sarcastically, because oh right. Tommy's been avoiding him as well.

You drop off speaking again, nervously staring forward and accepting that as the end of the conversation.

Techno hadn't though, speaking up to say, "As far as I'm concerned, Tommy's just a massive, disagreeable kid- so I wouldn't worry too much."

You pursed your lips.

He wasn't a baby. He had his own thoughts and feelings- treating it so lightly like that wouldn't help the argument at all.

Just as you open your mouth to speak, you press your lips together into a harsh line-

Disbelief-

The breath was nearly choked out of you when you see the edge of where you both had walked.

A soul valley.

Techno doesn't hesitate to take a few steps forward onto it, but he catches onto the fact that you've stopped moving and turns to look at your motionless form.

He opens his mouth to ask something before freezing and re-shutting his mouth.

It's silent for a few moments before he musters up a few words that fail to really make a sound, fading as he uneasily tried to phrase his question appropriately.

"If I was prying too far- tell me." His voice was blunt, but it was clear he was trying to be considerate.

But it wasn't his questions about Tommy that were making you freeze.

For the love of God it wasn't him- and you could barely move your limbs as you stared out over the sea of soul sand-

Massive skeletons unevenly littered the landscape-

A hand placed itself on your shoulder-

A hand?

When did he get so close to you-

"...(Y/N)...?" His voice had the base model of worry in it- slightly raised as though to try and lure you out of your mind- but you payed no mind to him.

Your twenty foot stare was directly towards the land-

And Techno saw that- ordering his thoughts to take into consideration that maybe- maybe you didn't care that he was subtly asking how you were holding up- and it was something in the here and now that so deeply disturbed you.

He looked you up and down- scanning your form for injures and looking to your eyes when he found none.

He followed your line of sight to take in the soul sand valleys- squinting, as he saw nothing wrong.

Just another piece of the nether.

He wracked his mind for what could've been wrong- every voice in his head swirling and just as confused as himself.

Wasn't the nether your home? Weren't you accustomed to such sights?

He firmly grabbed your hand-

A test-

A test to see if it really was the scenery that made you disturbed.

His finger locked around your smaller hand completely, and without a moment to spare pulled you closer to the soul sand- to which you harshly flinched and tugged against his hand.

He could have kept tugging, but released the moment you flinched back.

So it was the scenery.

"You don't like this place." His voice is a statement. Not a question- but a fact to try to get you to stir.

But you don't stir, so he snaps a finger in front of your face to see if you move, but you keep staring into the distance.

"Why?" He sounds, following your line of sight, again, and seeing nothing wrong expect for a fossil? Or maybe the skeleton idly walking nearby?

Is it the bones?

"Is it-"

He trailed off, squinting at the fossils. Were they making you uncomfortable?

Is that....

Maybe he was placing too much thought into your actions.

But you- you were so far out of it.

Not that he could know.

All the thoughts you thought you had stowed away came rushing back in, crashing like waves against your mind, plunging you under the depths of the ocean water-

You were getting dragged down-

Because-

Because soul valley's shouldn't exist- but they did-

And you hated that they did-

You hated it so much-

When Techno tried to get you to walk forward, and you for the briefest moment thought you could follow in his footsteps and jump the hurdle in your mind you were instantly filled with disgust.

It was such a disrespectful thing to do- to step where no one should be stepping-

Your flinching had been inevitable- jerking your body back onto the regular netherack floor.

Techno was talking, you couldn't hear, but he was talking-

Asking- questions- observing facts-

Probably about what you were frozen for- and why you felt like throwing up-

You didn't know for sure- but you thought you heard something about the fossils- about bones-

How he clearly was reading your line of sight- so you had to say something. Anything to try and cross an idea to him.

You strangled a weak, "Bones always come from something." And let enough said be enough said.

"Can you cross it?" Techno says- words finally shattering the bubble around your mind as you shook your head and focused in on reality.

"I can try-" you say, looking out over the sand,

You didn't want to speak.

You didn't even want to visit anymore.

You just wanted to go home.

But you had to do this- unless you felt like tacking on who knows how much time walking around the outskirts of the biome.

You took an uneasy step down, freezing just in front of the sand and remaining motionless.

Silence.

Both of your breathing was audible.

Techno's hand landed on your wrist again, and you flinched as he gently pulled you- he acted like you wouldn't have moved if he didn't lead you forward. Which might have been true.

As soon as you touch the sand you flinch, again, jerking your hand out of Techno's hold, rewinding your feet until you were back on netherack.

"I can do this-" you assured, "I just need some time-"

The pink haired male gives you just that- time to try and calm down- quiet time to let you stop feeling disgusted by what these biomes meant to you and your people.

But eventually, enough is enough, and he steps forward, crouching to get on your level.

When did you sit down?

"Do you want me to carry you across?" His monotone voice prods, a calm sound in a tempestuous moment, that was appreciated.

"Maybe." You looked up at him with a guilty face, "Won't that be a pain though?"

"You're fine. Besides, I have soul speed three. It'll be quick."

Without farther ado, he plucked you off the ground- surprisingly fluent, settling you into his arms and against his chest. You could feel the thrum of his heartbeat and you flattened your cheek against his fur covered cape in an attempt to block out the sights that came with the valley.

His hold was solid, a hand near your top and a hand under your knees- safe.

It was so so safe. Like a cradle.

But the minute he took a step into the valley you knew.

You knew exactly what you were hovering over- and blanched- the grip you had on his cape turned harsh, knuckles going white as you heavily breathed- the air was different in soul valley's- it rang with an ever familiar thrum of energy-

"Stop- please-" you breathed, breath ragged out of nothing but panic, "Go back-"

Not a second later, and you were back on solid ground, his hand softly peeling themselves away as he sat crouched in front of you.

"You know- I'm gonna be the party crasher here and say you don't want to visit your brother." Techno said, monotone and collected.

You nodded.

No.

Not anymore.

Too many thoughts.

With a sigh, he stood up. He looked disgruntled about the whole situation- clearly he was only tagging along on this journey because he thought this would be an in and out sort of deal. Not an emotional dumb of all your baggage. But what do you know about his thought process? Clearly not enough.

His hand ran through his hair, before he held the very same hand out to help you up.

You were slow to take it, but once you did he swiftly pulled you up, and started to walk you away from the soul valley instead of closer.

You weakly let him pull you along, still completely out of it, and nearly wriggling in discomfort-

His grip was firm, and you let that be your lifeline.

Your brother could wait a different day for your apology.