XXX. everything I'm insecure about

Marlowe was a performer. She knew it and everybody at East High knew it. She was the girl who was always front and center, the girl who tried her hardest at everything she did. But she was still a teenager, a girl with insecurities, even if she hardly ever showed them. Marlowe liked to fool people into believing that she wasn't afraid of anything but inside,  deeply hidden, she was afraid of not being good enough. She wanted to be the best and this might be the one time she wasn't the best.

Whether she liked it or not, she had to go back to the rehearsal room. Marlowe sat quietly on the bleachers while listening to everyone discuss the video from North High. "Miss Jenn, how are we supposed to beat North at the Menkies of their churning out this a second after changing their musical?" Ashlyn asked their drama teacher.

While they all collectively clamored, Marlowe still sat in silence, which didn't go unnoticed by Miss Jenn. There was a distance look in her brown eyes, and her bright mood had dulled. Her hand rubbed the back of her neck with anxiety. She avoided the stares she was getting, but they made her skin heat up more.

Miss Jenn clapped her hands. "Wild Cats! Take heart.  North High is clearly focusing on hells and whistles.  Impressive. But distracting. All we need is. . ."

She took a pause. "Friendship?" Seb guessed.

Luca slowly patted him on the back.

"No, Seb, all we need is to get back to basics.  Emotional performance that connect with the audience can make all the difference with these judges," Miss Jenn continued. She motioned her hands to their Belle. "We all know our Marley will have no trouble with that."

There was a silence, not Marlowe's usual squeak of excitement or her clapping. EJ played with the ends of her hair to attempt to soothe her, but it wasn't working.

When she didn't say anything, Miss Jenn moved on.  "Which is why I called you all in today. And that plan is. . . a weekend acting intensive!"

EJ waved his hand. "Acting intensive like. . ." He trailed.

"Improv. Character work. Movement exercises."

Knox grew a large grin. "Heck yeah, I love improv."

"Hey, Gina." Miss Jenn spoke to the girl on her phone.  "Gina."

Gina quickly looked up.

"Are you here?"

She quickly smiled. "Mmm. Yeah. Yeah." She responded unconvincingly.

"We're going to connect with our characters. And impressive performances, not fancy staging or actual killer wolves, will be our key to the gold. And don't forget, we have something North High doesn't."

They all leaned forward with interest. "Friendship?"  Seb said again.

"A brand new original song for the Beast and the rose."

Luca laughed to himself.

When her announcement was over, everyone stood from the bleachers and went to gather around for the work shop, all except Marlowe. Miss Jenn came and sat beside her. "Marley, honey, you haven't spoke a word." She spoke gently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to be rude—"

"No, no, no, don't be sorry. I'm just worried."

Marlowe smiled slightly. "I'm fine, Miss Jenn. Just more nervous for opening night."

The woman wasn't convinced. "Honey, please don't start doubting yourself because of this. Your talent will not be downsized just because North High's doing the same musical as us."

She was grateful for Miss Jenn. She wasn't just a teacher, she was like a mother to them. She always listened when they needed to talk to someone and she gave the best advice. They were like her children.  Marlowe trusted her completely but she didn't want to talk about how she was feeling. "I'm okay. I promise."  She lied again with another small smile.

She stood up and went to join her friends, leaving Miss Jenn to follow her movements with a sad frown on her face.

Marlowe stared into the camera. "It's not like I'm trying to be a pain, I'm just. . ." She struggled to find the words. "I don't know. I just feel kind of lost."

They began with the warm up games and the first game was hula hoop pass. "How's your hula hooping skills,  babe?"  EJ asked her while moving the hula hoop around his hips.

Marlowe watched him and chuckled, though it was weak. "Not as good as yours, apparently."

His jaw dropped. "Something Marlowe Aguilar's not good at?" He said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. " "I didn't say I wasn't good at it!"

"Just saying that I'm better?"

She narrowed her eyes and pushed his face. "Oh, be quiet."

The theater students linked hands to start the game.  Marlowe stood between EJ and Gina, who were both a good foot taller than her. The competitiveness in both the Aguilar twins began to come out. "Come on, Ricky,  move!" Luca shouted when the hula hoop got caught on Ricky's hair.

"I'm trying!" He exclaimed and almost broke his neck trying to move the object.

Marlowe shook Gina and EJ's hands impatiently. "You suck at this, Richard!" She complained with a heavy grunt.

They continued to pass through the hula hoop until it finally came to EJ. "Come on,  babe.  You got this!"  Marlowe encouraged her boyfriend while jumping up and down. 

"Go, go, go!" He quickly said when he got it over his head and stepped through it.

She managed to step her legs through the hula hoop but she struggled to pass it on to Gina considering their height difference.

"Hurry up, Marlowe!" Exclaimed Luca.

"I'm trying! It's not my fault I'm only 5'2!"

Gina couldn't control her laughter as she watched her struggle. Finally, Marlowe passed it on to her and she released a tired huff. Hearing a chuckle, she turned her head and saw EJ laughing and it caused her to smile.  She laughed and hit his arm while their hands were still attached.

EJ was determined to do everything he could to make Marlowe feel better. He gripped the pool noodle they would be using for the next game and he held it like a sword. He bonked her on the head with it. Marlowe looked his way, unimpressed, and it made EJ smile. He did it again, and again, until he was able to get a smile out of her. "Come on,  I see that smile."

Marlowe laughed and hit him with her pool noddle. "I hate you."

"You sure about that?" He asked and swung his pool object at her again.

She hit him on the head with it. "Stop it!"

They hit each other back and forth, much like Luca and Knox – who were sword fighting with the pool noodles – and EJ wrapped the pool noodle around her neck, tugging her forward. Marlowe let out a string of giggles when he kissed her. "You're so annoying."

"Mmm, and you're beautiful." He said with his usual sweet smile.

Marlowe's heart did a flip and she smiled, genuinely that time.

"Okay. Now everybody, droop your noodle and pair up for a mirroring exercise." Miss Jenn announced.

The couple looked at each other again. "What do ya say?" EJ smirked at her.

Before she could say anything, the teacher spoke up again. "And Marley and EJ, Luca and Knox, you cannot be partners for this!"

The two couples instantly frowned. Knox and Luca stopped their sword fighting. "Aww, what?" The senior pouted.

"This workshop is about branching out!" The woman continued with a cheery smile.

"Just please don't make me partner with Ricky."  Marlowe spoke up.

Ricky's jaw dropped. "Are we not best friends?" He asked, feeling offended.

"We are. You're just a terrible game partner."

"I'll be your partner, Lowe!" Gina quickly spoke, raising her hand.

Marlowe instantly smiled and EJ grumbled again. "Cheer up, honey. You're too pretty to get frown lines." She patted his cheek and linked arms with Gina.

Luca stood by Ricky and patted his back. "I got you,  Richard."

"Thanks, Lumiere."

Knox paired up with Ashlyn and EJ paired up with Seb. The best thing that Marlowe and Gina had in common was how flexible they were. She lifted her leg high in the air and Gina mirrored her perfectly.

Then, Gina started tap dancing and Marlowe mirrored her feet work, struggling slightly, and the sophomore grabbed her hands to keep her from falling. "There you go!" She giggled when she got the hang of it.

"Dude, you're literally perfect at this. I wish you would've been my twin."

Luca heard her and his jaw dropped. "Hey!" He objected from across the room.

When the games were finished, it was time for the improv portion of the work stop. Everyone sat on the mats while Ashlyn and Gina took the floor. "Okay, Ashlyn will start us off and, Gina, agree with what Ashlyn says and then add on." She instructed. "It's 'Yes, and?' people! Remember, improv works best when you are all in. If you've got one foot out the door, it does not work, and the audience will smell your fear."

There was a small pause. "No pressure." Knox spoke.

"No pressure!" She chirped. "Let's get a suggestion from the group on a location."

EJ raised his hand. "The Louvre?" He suggested.

His girlfriend gasped slightly and touched his arm. "I was about to say the Eiffel Tower." She smiled brightly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Sure, the Louvre, okay." Miss Jenn responded, shocked by the answer. She turned to the girls. "Go ahead. You ready? Okay."

Marlowe flashed her friends a smile and lifted her thumbs up. Ashlyn turned to Gina. "Now, Madame Rousseau, I understand you're here to look into purchasing some art," she imitated a French accent.

"From the Louvre?" Gina hesitated.

"Well, if one's as rich as you are, Madame, one can purchase nearly any piece of art," Ashlyn continued. She lifted her arms and motioned to an invisible art piece. "Take this piece. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure," the sophomore hesitated again, obviously not knowing what to say.

"Well, what is your heart telling you?"

Gina's eyes cut to the side where Ricky was sitting. "I really don't know." She replied quietly, completely out of focus.

Marlowe looked between her and Ricky suspiciously.

"Yes, and?" Miss Jenn quickly said.

"Yes, and maybe we should take a break." Ashlyn returned to her normal voice. She returned back to her spot on the mat.

"I. . . I'm sorry—"

"It's okay." The teacher quickly spoke and stood up. "We're learning. We're learning. There are no rules here." She said with a chuckle. "Except that I will need you to do it correctly."

She called Carlos and Seb up to do the next round of improv. Gina turned around to Ashlyn. "Hey, I'm sorry. I totally ruined your scene. Improv's weird."

"Actually, you just have to agree with what I say and then add something else. It's not that intense." Ashlyn responded meanly.

Luca overheard and his eyes widened slightly. "Ash."

Gina's face to fall. "Okay. . ." She said in a small voice.

"Wait, I didn't mean to—" she quickly tried to say but Gina was already walking out the room.

Marlowe let go of EJ and stood from the mat. She quickly followed the girl out of the room. "Hey, G!" She called out and tried to catch up with her. "Gina!"

Gina stopped walking and turned around, the hurt on her face visible.

"I'm sure Ashlyn did mean to say it like that. We're all just a little on edge," she quickly said with a small laugh.

She didn't laugh. "It's fine." She responded, her voice blank.

Marlowe frowned. "Hey, what's going on?" She gently asked. "Is this still about what happened at the quince?"

"What?" Gina shook her head. "No, I'm okay, Lowe."

She titled her head, her eyes soft. "You can talk to me,  G."

Her expression softened ever so slightly but it was clear that she was still upset.

Marlowe didn't want to ask the question she was thinking because she didn't want to hear the answer.  But she figured it was most likely why she was upset.  "Is. . . Is it because of Ricky?"

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"I'm not going to judge you—"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Marlowe."  Gina got defensive and started walking off again.

Marlowe frowned. "Gina!" She called out again, only to get ignored.

Luca was worried about his sister. There was only a handful of times that he had seen her so meek. She was always the shining star out of the two of them, much like Sharpay and Ryan, but now it was like she was second guessing herself. He knew exactly why and he had half the mind to burn North High to the ground. 

When they got home from the workshop, Marlowe kept herself locked away in her bedroom. She only came out for dinner and then immediately went back when it was over. "I don't understand. She's never like this." Sabrina said out loud while washing the dishes.

Luca and Mateo sat at the dinner table. "Did something happen, Luke?" His father asked.

"You know that school, North High?" He questioned, earning a pair of nods. "Well, they entered the same competition we're in and they're doing Beauty and the Beast, also. And this girl, Lily, she auditioned at East High for Belle and when Mars got the lead, she transferred to North High and now she's playing Belle."

Sabrina gasped. "That little tramp!"

"Mamá!"

"No, she's right, hijo. That little tramp." Mateo agreed with an angry voice. "And that's why Marley's upset?" Son

Luca slumped in his chair. "I don't think that's the only reason. I think she's feeling. . . insecure."

"What? But she's so talented." His mom frowned and touched her heart.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's not doubting herself. This Lily girl is really good at singing. I'd be jealous, too."

Mateo looked at his wife. "¿Qué deberíamos hacer?" What should we do?

Sabrina shrugged. "What can we do? Marley has to know that she's incredibly talented and that she can't compare herself to others." When she spoke the words, her face softened and she touched her heart again. "Oh. . . Maybe I should go talk to her."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Luca questioned.

"Trust me, sweetheart." She replied and walked out of the kitchen.

When Sabrina walked up the stairs to where Marlowe's room was, she stood at her door and lightly knocked on it. "Marlowe, baby," she called out gently. When she didn't get a response, she pressed her ear to the door. She then heard faint crying. "Bebé?"

After another minute of not answering, Sabrina turned the door knob and cracked it open slightly. When she poked her head inside, she saw her daughter curled up in her bed, crying. She felt her heart break. The mother wanted to walk in and comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be okay, but instead, Sabrina softly closed the door and pressed her hand against it. She let her have the night to herself and decided she would talk to Marlowe about it tomorrow.