07 ☆ ( "BUT IT NEVER ENDS, RIE." )

"Did you get home safe last night?" I was taken away from my daze when Sunoo pulled one of my earbuds out of my ears, smiling. Did I? I can't remember. Everything from last night was a blur. Matter of fact, why was he here at the temple? I pushed up my glasses, nodding. "That's good. Why are you here today?"

"I should ask you that," I chuckled, pointing at him in his attire. "You're wearing quite the clothing today. Is there a festival?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?" Sunoo raised his eyebrows, soon pausing. "Wait. Of course, you wouldn't. Nishimura is the one who told all of us about it, and I don't think you even have his number. Today's the spring festival, so I'm here with Hanae, Jungwon, and Riki."

"All of you are here?" Sunoo nodded. "Right now?" He nodded again. Oh god. I need to leave. I just wanted to ask the deities above for peace, but I fear that my prayer was too late. How do I even escape this? "Well, have fun then!"

"W-Wait, Rie!" Sunoo grabbed my wrist, pulling me away from the stone staircase. I was only taking a step in the air which caused me to stumble back–right into Sunoo's arms. I widened my eyes and straightened up, Sunoo doing the same. "Sorry, Rie. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with us."

"I'm not wearing a kimono, and I don't think I really can go," I sensed footsteps coming our way, soft chatter becoming audible from behind the gates. "Plus, mom wants me back home now, so–"

"Not even for a little, Rie–?"

"I really have to go, Sunoo!" I picked up my swinging earbud and waved, stumbling as I took a step down the stairs. "I'll, um, see you Monday!"

"Oh, it's Rie–Rie, where are you going!?" I couldn't even bother to turn around and see who was calling my name, but with the feminine tone and the familiarity of her panic, I knew that was Hanae. "Rie, come back!"

I could hear the distinct chatter coming from behind me, but I couldn't face it–I couldn't face him. What expression was he wearing on his face? Do you think he even thought about me that way? God, I couldn't sleep all night! For me to kiss him without any remorse yesterday night, then suddenly avoid him like nothing ever happened between us? What a fool!

As I hurried down the steps and away from the temple, I pleaded to the deities above that Riki wouldn't catch me. I watched him once on the soccer field and I knew how fast he was. After all, he had long legs. But, I'm sure with all these steps, and if I avoided him well enough, there would be no chance.

I turned around for a split second as I neared an alleyway–nobody was there. So, I slowed down and heaved my breath, coughing in the process. Ring!

I jumped up and looked down my phone ringing. Taking it out of my jacket, I looked at the name: Jungwon.

God, I know what he's going to say. Plus, he's still with Riki! What if he overhears and grabs the phone? I declined.

Then, I got a call from Hanae. I could trust her a bit more. So, I picked it up. "Ha... Hanae? Hello?"

"Rie!" She yelled into my ear, suddenly being hushed by who I presume was Jungwon. Hanae quickly apologized, clearing her throat. "I've known you for so many years, and dare I say you have never run away from me like that! You told me that you were going out today, but you were just at the temple!"

"My schedule cleared up so I went to visit," I lied, scratching the nape of my neck. "But, Mom really wants me home now. You know how she is with studying and all that."

"Your mom isn't that strict when it comes to hanging out with other people on the weekends, and you know I know that. So, why'd you run away and turn us down? You love spring festivals!"

"I do," I agreed, laughing awkwardly. "I just... don't feel like it today–"

"Are you running away from him?" I didn't respond, but my silence did it all for me. "God, Rie... What did you do? A few days ago, you were denying something ever happened between you guys although you knew well that you had feelings for him, but now, you're putting up a front? Did you do something rash?"

"Yes," I heard murmuring on her side of the phone, causing me to swallow. "I did. I–"

Suddenly, I heard shuffling, and a vague 'hey!' leaving Hanae's mouth. "Sato Rie."

I didn't respond, and instead, I swallowed. "Rie," Riki repeated as if it was a demand, sighs heard distantly. "There's no need to hide."

There is, Riki. There are a lot of reasons I need to hide from you.

I can't bear to face it–him. I've already accepted I'm in the wrong to kiss him, to make such a move when I know absolutely nothing about his feelings nor the true intention of mine. Perhaps it's better this way if I distance myself; everyone can relax without the tension that could appear between us.

They looked happier without me around, anyway, didn't they? They don't have to work to appease some lonely girl like myself.

"You're thinking," Riki stated. "I hear your feet shuffling. I hear you pacing in place."

God. Was it that obvious that I was in my head again? Even Riki noticed it. I hated that. "We probably shouldn't act this way, Nishimura," His silence scared me, but I had to keep my facade. If I let anything slip, he could assume the worst, and I have already convinced myself nothing could get worse. "It's not right to be acting this way, so we should probably just forget about anything else happening."

"What's not right, Sato?" He asked. "I don't know if it's crossed your mind yet, or maybe you're choosing to be oblivious, but even before last night, I–"

"I don't want to hear it," I interrupted him, clutching my phone closer to my ear. I closed my eyes, swearing to never fall again, but I knew in a few days, that would fall through. His temptations have always caught me hanging myself by his hooks. Leaning against the wall, I shook my head. "We shouldn't... become anything more than we are already, Nishimura. We're already near the end."

"You're lying to yourself," Riki whispered. "And because of that, I won't listen."

"But–"

"Until you're ready to face it, Rie, about what you hold in your heart and whatever you've been truly feeling these days when we're together, then we don't have to speak. We shouldn't speak."

And I don't speak. I let all the emotions I hold fizzle into the air like smoke, disappearing. I don't need them to be said–I just want them to evaporate.

"Enjoy the festival," Tears welled up in my eyes and throat. "Goodbye."

I ended the call, dropping my hands to my sides. Sliding down the wall in this ugly, depressive mood, I felt the fear control potential, tears dripping down my cheeks. Stupid. This was all so damn stupid! I hate Riki! I hate being alone! I hate romance! I hate having these idiotic feelings for an idiotic person that I barely knew! Why couldn't I just give up? Why did fate push us together? Why does it even exist!?

"Damn it!" I took off my glasses to wipe my eyes, throwing them aside. "When will it be over!?"

But it never ends, Rie.

It will never end between you two.

"Hey, Ri–huh?" I walked past Jungwon, Riki, Sunoo, and Hanae, creating a divide between us. I held onto Teacher Fujii's worksheets as if they were my saving grace, math problems somehow creating escape ropes, and movie-worthy speeches in the etches of my brain. "Is she busy, Hanae?"

"She shouldn't be," I heard as I stopped at the community board, looking at all the papers. Which one was I looking for again? It's the one related to the math championships–

"What?" I remarked as a hand covered the one paper I needed to take down, narrowing my eyes. "Jungwon. What do you want, seriously?"

"Nothing," Jungwon shook his head, wearing a sly smile. "Just... are you upset with any of us? You don't want to come with us to go get snacks?"

Jungwon. Don't be stupid. You heard what happened on Saturday. He smiled with that little cute grin of his, his eyes twinkling in persuasion, but I wasn't giving in today. I looked over and saw all of them looking at us–except Riki. His back was turned, almost as if he didn't want to see me, and I respected him for that.

"I'm not hungry," But I was. I was afraid to see everyone in the cafeteria, so I stayed in the classroom. "Go on without me. I'll be fine."

"Rie," Jungwon warned, almost as if he knew what I was up to. I rolled my eyes, shoving his hand to the side. He stayed in place but seemed to oblige my subtle call for him to move. I ripped off the paper, staring at him once I did. "You know, you can't hide forever."

"I'm aware," I gritted my teeth. "So I will hide as long as it permits me to."

"Stop fronting," Jungwon sighed. "You know that you want him, but you're just afraid."

"I am afraid," I answered truthfully, staring right through him. "And so are you. It takes one to know one."

Jungwon bit his cheek, standing straight. No handprint was left, but in my head, it tainted the board with red paint–both of us were in the process of murdering any chance we had with our love interests. "Real mature, Rie," Jungwon sarcastically muttered. "I hope you realize how much you'll lose if you continue to be like this."

"I have nothing to lose," I snapped, crumpling the paper and throwing it into the bin right beside us. "Although I wish I did."

And that seemed to keep him quiet as I turned back around and headed to Teacher Fujii's classroom, holding onto my anger. I seemed to be the only one in the classroom when I came in, our teacher excluded. He was typing something on his keyboard before his head lifted, the corner of his lips turning upwards. "Sato."

"Teacher Fujii," I bowed my head, placing the papers in front of him. "Here. I picked them up from the printing room for you."

"Thanks," He grabbed them, placing them on the table. I took a step, but Teacher Fujii stopped me. "Hey, Sato?"

"Hm?" I raised my eyebrows, turning his way, but I saw him eyeing the desk in front of mine. I played stupid, blinking profusely. "What is it?"

He leaned back, tsking. "Playing dumb?" Darn it. "You know Sato, not all things are solved with a simple equation."

"I know," I hissed. "I know that well, Teacher."

"If you do, then why do you keep trying to solve your issues with your singular solution: Isolating?" I kept silent, listening. "Sometimes, it takes more than just avoidance to actually make something work, Sato. We can't all just pretend that the truth doesn't exist: then we'd live in a world full of liars. We'd get nothing done. I know you want to do what you perceive is best for everyone around you, heck, even for yourself, but that's illogical. It's not like you."

"Not... like me?" I hesitated. I seemed to understand his words better than anyone could've explained to me. "But I've always tried to be logical, Teacher, by avoiding things that I'm unable to solve with simple solutions. It solves itself."

"For everyone else, maybe, because that makes it evaporate," Teacher Fujii pointed at my head, then, down to my heart. "But it never really disappears. You can skip a question, but you'll still try to solve it when the test's over. You can get a bad score on a test, but you'll always point it out as your worst point academically. You can pretend that those feelings you have don't exist for the quote-on-quote greater good–but they're still there, no matter how much you suppress it."

I stood quiet for a moment. "But it's wrong."

"Everyone is wrong, that's how we discover the truth," Teacher Fujii grinned. "The things we do have grave consequences. That's what makes it right."

Everyone is wrong in this world. That contradicts what mother always said: If you think it's right, do it. But if everyone in the world is always wrong, then that means there is no clear right. Everyone is on equal footing, with no virtue being weighed better than the other. If that's the case, then–

"You have to take the chance," Teacher Fujii answered for me. "You're never going to find out what the consequence is... until you take the risk."