Even feeling exhausted I struggled to fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes I thought about Taylor struggling against her attacker, and images of her bloodied and trying to escape didn't ease my mind. It made it more difficult to keep the door shut on my own issues. By thinking about it and replaying it in my mind I felt like I was being victimized all over again. It was a secret I hadn't told anyone.

To keep myself from concentrating on it too much I kept reminding myself she'd gotten away in time, before there had been a chance for him... I stopped the thought.

Sometime in the early morning I finally dropped off to sleep. Later that morning, at around eight, I got up. I was looking forward to being able to see Taylor. Yawning, I stumbled into the kitchen, ready for strong coffee to help me through the day.

Concentrating my thoughts on my friend, I managed to ease the ache in my chest. Seeing Slater had opened the raw wound in my heart. It had hurt to be around him, to be reminded of his rejection.

It wasn't like I could cut him out of my life. My best friend was involved with his best friend. At the moment they weren't together but I knew it was only a matter of time before they sorted out their issues and got back together.

Slater. An image of him drifted into my mind.

His sharp silver-blue eyes seemed to see right through what other people saw, to the innermost me. It was like he was seeing what no one had before, and it frightened me. He was tall and sexy. Just a look in his direction was enough to make my skin tighten as my stomach fluttered with excitement. I touched my lips as I remembered the first time he had kissed me. But now it seemed so long ago.

In the short time I had known him, I had experienced a momentary lapse when I had almost revealed my dark secret. I was used to hooking up with guys, but I had never been this close to someone. We had shared a connection I was still trying to get over. He had that way about him. And a way with me. But to him, I was easily cut from his life. I let out a heavy emotional sigh.

"You're thinking too much," Matthew said from the doorway, taking me by surprise.

I shrugged, not wanting to divulge what was on my mind. He knew I was still struggling with the end of what could have been with Slater. He had bought Taylor and me ice cream and watched chick flicks with us to help us get over our bad boys who had been playing havoc with our emotions.

Sin had left town, crushing the little hope Taylor had that they would sort out their issues. Slater had told me that he couldn't give me what I wanted. Boys sucked.

"Did you get some sleep?" he asked as he opened the cupboard to get a mug.

"A little," I admitted. I breathed in the rich aroma of my coffee and let it tingle through me. I sipped it carefully.

I could definitely have done with more sleep but I wanted to see Taylor. Later, after my visit to the hospital, I could catch up on the sleep I had missed. I had college classes but I wasn't up for it. Tomorrow I would try and ease back into my usual schedule.

"Connor spent the night at the hospital," Matthew told me. He wouldn't have wanted Taylor to wake up without someone there.

"Is she awake yet?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Can we go to the hospital early?" I asked, cradling my coffee in my hands.

"Yes. As soon as you're ready we can go."

I liked having Matthew around. He was like a brother I'd never had, but if Taylor didn't need a bodyguard anymore, it meant Matthew would move on to another job. It made me sad to think he would be going soon.

"When are you leaving?" I asked, watching him over the rim on my mug.

He shrugged.

"I'll still be here for a while. Connor wants me to stay until Eric is convicted."

I was glad Connor wasn't taking any chances. Taylor had never confided in me about her past that she had kept hidden. It had been Connor, one late emotional night after Taylor had been taken, who had finally told me about the murder of their parents when Taylor had only been nine years old. She had been with her parents in the house but Connor, who at the time had been eighteen, had been at a friend's house.

I couldn't imagine what it would have been like for such a small child to be forced to go through the horror of seeing her parents murdered.

It had explained a lot, like the reason why Taylor was so naive and unworldly. When we had first met, I had been surprised she had never been to a party or even been drunk. It also explained why Connor had taken such drastic measures to keep her safe.

"Good. I'm glad you'll be sticking around," I said to him. It was hard to just think of him as a person doing a job he was paid to do. I felt some real affection for him.

"You're going to miss my great cooking," he teased with a wink, and I shook my head and smiled.

He could cook, but there was a lot more to him that I would miss. When he had first moved in with us, he had done all the cooking, which had been great because both Taylor and I were pretty useless in the kitchen.

"It's been good to have you around," I said. I didn't like to get emotional but he had been a rock to lean on over the past few trying weeks.

"You getting soppy on me?" he asked as he cocked his head to the side with a teasing smile. I rolled my eyes at him.

"No. I just wanted you to know it has been nice to have you around, with everything that's been going on."

"You're welcome," he said. "You need ice cream and soppy movies, I'm your man."

He made me laugh. It had been awhile.

"It's nice to see you smile. You should do it more often."

I wished I had more to smile about.

"Hopefully with Taylor back and on the mend we can get back to normal," I said.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked suddenly.

"Sure." He looked so serious.

"What happened between you and Slater?" he asked.

I frowned while I took a moment to think of how to explain it to him. His question had taken me by surprise.

"I don't really know," I replied honestly.

The only one who really knew was Slater. My connection with him had been something unplanned and hard to let go of but Slater had let go of me, stopping whatever had been happening between us.

Matthew looked at me thoughtfully. "I wouldn't write him off yet."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, frowning.

"I caught the glares I was getting from him when we were at the hospital yesterday. It isn't the behavior of a guy who isn't interested."

It didn't change anything. I shrugged. I took another sip of my coffee.

Matthew frowned for a moment. "Did he give you a reason?"

I shook my head. No, there hadn't been any reason, he had only told me he couldn't do us. Had he been scared of the connection we had made? I could still remember the sinking feeling in my stomach and the look on his face when he'd told me that. The rejection had hurt.

It wasn't like I hadn't been dumped before but it had never hurt. I had never become emotionally invested in any prior relationships before, so walking away had been easy. But Slater had been different.

"Enough about boys. Go get ready so you can take me to the hospital," I said, giving him a push toward the door.

"But I haven't finished my coffee yet," he tried to reason, putting his cup down.

"Then stop talking and drink it," I quipped. I emptied my coffee down the drain and rinsed the cup.

I left him to finish up his coffee as I went into my room and closed the door. For a moment I allowed myself to feel the hurt that talking about Slater made me feel. When it was over I released an emotional breath and pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind.

I had to be strong for my friend. She would need me to help her through the next few days. Trying to keep myself from remembering things I didn't want to, I went to my closet and got some clothes out.