"It seems like your eyebrows haven't shrunk any." You teased. 

His underling seemed slightly taken aback, clearly not expecting that this might've happened. In all honesty, you didn't even think it would happen. It was just your luck. 

Erwin sighed as he looked at you in the cell. He shook his head slowly, but his smile was there. "Why am I not surprised to see you in a cell?" He asked in a sarcastic tone. Walking to the door, he swiftly unlocked the cell and walked to meet you. Erwin wasted no time sweeping you into a hug which you accepted, awkwardly however as you had to fold your arms in front of you rather than return the embrace. As he held you, he seemed to tighten his hold. You rested your head against him, trying to manage your emotions. 

"Commander Erwin, I can acknowledge that you're foolish from time to time but should you really be so chummy with someone who's at risk of the death sentence on two accounts?" Levi chimed in. You looked at him with an irritated roll of the eye and stuck out your tongue. 

"Stand down Levi. In all fairness, as of about twelve months ago she was assumed to be one of the many fallen comrades we've lost." 

Levi seemed confused for a moment as Erwin stepped back, gesturing towards you so that Levi could easily approach. "Could you please undo her handcuffs Captain? She and I have a lot to speak about." Erwin kept his eyes level with his subordinate, imposing his authority without even saying a word. 

Levi seemed like he wanted to speak, but instead moved without protesting. As he took your cuffs in his hands, he begrudgingly spoke up, directly his attention to Erwin. "If she has an excuse for why she wouldn't have been here when she needed to be, then I think it's best that we both hear about it." 

"Why should I talk to you?!" You bit. "You've been nothing but rude since the very moment I met you. Then you kicked me off my horse. Then you knocked me out! Then you-" 

Erwin put a hand on your shoulder, silencing your rant quickly. "What you're saying sounds interesting (Y/N), and honestly true, but first and foremost let's get you cleaned up. You can meet with me and Levi afterwards to explain everything that happened." 

"Alright Erwin, I can do that." 

Erwin led you from the cells in the basement up a slim staircase. He spoke bluntly, vaguely pointing things out to you as you passed them until eventually you stopped in front of what you assumed were group baths. "There should be spare uniforms in one of the cabinets in there for you to change into after. I already pointed out my own office, so feel free to join us in there when you're done." Erwin instructed. 

"Alright Eyebrows. Try to fill in this short maniac while I'm not there." 

Erwin nodded, turning to lead Levi away as you pushed the door open to the bathroom. As you stepped inside, you took a deep breath. It felt like the first non-suffocating moment since you'd entered the walls. The fact that Erwin was still alive was amazing all on its own. 

As you started to strip away your layers, sinking deeper into the rooms until you saw the stalled baths, you couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen next. After all, you were technically dead. You looked down at your gloved hands, stripping away the worn leather to look at what was hidden beneath. 

~-~-~-~-~-~

Erwin moved Levi towards his office, offering brief nods to those who passed by. As Levi followed him to his office, broiling irritation seemed to be the fuel behind his every thought. In a mere few minutes, a soldier he'd never seen, never so much as met despite being a scout, had gone from a deserter with no protest to a guest of Erwin. The special treatment alone was annoying as Erwin was never usually one to let favoritism affect his professional standing. 

Erwin opened his door, allowing Levi in first before walking in behind him. As he closed the door gently behind him, he didn't speak a word. Instead he walked to his desk where he sat, opening a small drawer that rarely saw sunlight. "Levi, sit down." He ordered curtly, a gentle nipping to his usual cold tone. 

"Are you going to explain to me why you're treating a traitor like some child?" Levi said snippily, sitting across a small couch. He leaned forward, balancing his elbow against his knees as he fixed a steely gaze on his superior. 

"Yes, I believe I owe you as much as that." Erwin admitted. "However, as trite as this might sound, I think it's best I explain some history first." 

Levi furrowed his brow, shifting his position so he now sat sitting back. He waved a hand in a certain 'continue' motion. Erwin nodded slowly, settling into his chair as he held up a notebook. Levi recognized it as similar to one the he'd seen Erwin scribbling in before, but this one seemed more aged. The leather was worn and fraying, mysterious stains on the pages and cover. 

"What's that?"

"This captain, is my personal journal. Unlike the ones I share with you and our comrades in our efforts to work against the titan scourge, this is filled with my own personal accounts as far back as my youth. Before even my scout days up to today, though I haven't really seen a need for it in more recent years." 

Levi didn't react, listening patiently. He watched as Erwin flipped through the pages, looked for a bookmarked page farther back against the spine. As he located it, he bookmarked the page and set the journal down. Looking up to meet Levi's expectant glare, he spoke again. "As far back as I can remember, I was on the side of more lonesome types. As a kid it was just me and my father, up until his untimely death. And after his death I was relatively cut off due to my dedication in joining and rising through the military. But this I know you're well aware of. However, an aspect of my life I haven't been so apt to share has now become far more relevant." 

"Before I could join the scouts, but after my father's passing, I had difficulties in the multitudes. I survived of course, but in that time I made the mistake of taking on responsibilities as a means of coping with my own abandonment." Erwin chuckled quietly. "I say mistake but truly I'm happy it occured." 

"Forgive me if I'm being rude but could you please get to the point. Who is that shit-eating brat and what does she have to do with you?" Levi pushed. His face seemed to screw up more and more with frustration as Erwin spoke, his tactful way of speaking yielding way to much filler for his taste. 

Erwin bobbed his head up and down as though to say he understood. Closing his eyes as though to focus, he reconstructed his thoughts before opening his mouth again. "I suppose simply put, she's like my sister." 

Levi seemed surprised by this, for the first time his stoic expression cracking with emotion other than some variety of distaste. Erwin waited a moment before continuing. "She was one of the people who would hang around school waiting for her siblings to get out but never quite went in herself. She was too rambunctious for a classroom setting. Or as she said, 'too cool'. " 

This seemed to make Levi lose a small laugh. 

"She didn't have a bad home life or anything, and she actually got along great with others, but she and I met each other initially through my father. He tried his hardest to get to her but she was always too thick in the head to understand. After he died, she was one of the few people who believed the same way I did, that he was killed by the government. Through that we bonded and I looked after her. She started to follow me through life, even into scouts. We were as close as anyone would expect, but god was she, or I guess is she, naive. She's been absolutely terrified of titans for as long as I've known her, but she followed me so she could 'watch my back'. It ended up being just the opposite on most occasion. She's much younger than me and she's always seemed to assume that means she'll outlive me." 

"One year ago about, we were headed on an expedition outside the walls. I was already in my position so of course  I was in the center. She was in the right wing. About three hours in, an abnormal decimated her section. Soon the back half of the right formation had crumbled as well as a large part of the left and we had to withdraw. It was reported from her comrades she'd been devoured, the only thing left being a broken tank after her ODM gear was smashed by a titan's swing. She was reported dead in action." 

Erwin stopped there, opening his journal and scanning over its contents. "According to this, she was 'buried' later that month alongside all else who fell." 

Levi took a few small moments to process the brief history. It all seemed legitimate, especially regarding the fact that he had no reason to lie about her. But therein grew even more questions. (Y/N) had been seen being devoured by a titan by her squad. Not only this, but however she survived, she deliberately avoided coming back to the Scout Regimen. Being found within the confines of Wall Maria, there's no telling if she'd been surviving outside the walls like she seemed to be alluding to or if she'd just hidden within Maria to shurk her duties after surviving a titan. 

"No sane person would choose to live outside the walls, if that's even a possibility. That being said, if she's been within wall Maria this whole time then she's very much guilty of abandoning her duties. Regardless of the direction we go, she was breaking one law or another. For her sake I hope you can speak on her behalf. She'll only talk herself into deeper shit than she's already in." 

"Levi I'm getting the sense you don't like her all that much." Erwin teased. He pocketed the journal once more, looking at his subordinate. "Regardless, I'm not sure how we'll be applying punishment in this case. If she's really survived in titan country for an entire year without dying then there has to be something she's learned that could help us improve our return rate. Or there could be a reason that she was reported dead despite being obviously alive. Whatever the explanation is, it stands to reason she could be a very important asset that we will benefit from keeping around." 

"Nonetheless she should be punished. Giving her a clean slate would still look bad on you." 

"We'll see what I decide on when she gets back here. Ultimately the decision is mine, and I'll shoulder the consequences of it." 

~-~-~-~-~-~

You stood, staring in the cabinet where unsurprisingly Erwin was proven correct. Right in front of you, folded neatly in a pile, were uniforms. They ranged in sizes, obviously not tailored one way or another, but you couldn't help but hesitate when you'd shuffled through and find what fit you. You stared at the laid out uniform. Something in you felt wrong looking at it again, not wanting to see yourself once again in the colors you used to find repeated everywhere you looked. Some of your best memories were made in the Survey Corps. You'd met amazing people and trained with some of the bravest people you would ever know. But with what happened, you didn't ever want to be a scout again. What happened was awful and left you far more isolated than you ever wished to feel. 

Your eyes skipped over the uniform, fixing on your previous outfit in a longing sense. It was hopelessly filthy, scented like dirt and sweat, and torn beyond belief. However it embodied an identity you'd created, growing beyond an average soldier. You sighed, reaching for the ragged clothes and eyeing them. Putting them on would just defeat the purpose of  getting cleaned up in the first place. Running yours fingers through the fabrics, you gently folded the garments and laid them on a small bench beside you. You eyed the uniform with new determination. Trying not to think as you changed. You pulled on the outfit quietly. As you looked at the cloak, you felt your resolve snap. You threw the new one aside, instead taking your original one and throwing it over your shoulders. You looked down at you scarred fingers, pulling your gloves back over them.

You collected the rest of your clothes in your arms. You walked briskly to the door and left for Erwin's office. You crossed your arms over your chest, holding the clothes as though they were a security blanket. As you wound your way through the halls, you passed a few random faces, each only regarding you with either  confusion or disinterest. Apparently being cleaned up made you almost recognizable. As you approached Erwin's door, you could hear both Erwin and his shorter half debating on the subject of you. 

"Nonetheless she should be punished. Giving her a clean slate would still look bad on you." 

"We'll see what I decide on when she gets back here. Ultimately the decision is mine, and I'll shoulder the consequences of it."

You reached for the door, beginning to turn the knob. You rehearsed in your head a quippy response, aiming to assert yourself against Levi as much as you could. With any luck, you might just make him kick you out. You halted, lending your ear as Levi piped in again. You couldn't help but freeze as he spoke. "Erwin, you're being reckless. We both know that if anyone finds out this then they won't have the same reasoning not to find her of treason. You'll get lumped in with her if you help her." 

You stopped completely, processing his words. "Treason?" You whispered. 

You couldn't think. Your mind blanked. In an instant, all you could think about was seeing Erwin disappear. Seeing him one night then seeing him dead the next morning, just like his own father. 

"That's my risk Levi."

Your throat tightened. 'Of course he would do something like that. That stupid, selfless idiot.' 

You let go of the doorknob, the sharp click of it turning back causing you to flinch. Wobbling back a step, you turned away mechanically, walking away. As you stepped, your strides quickly became quicker, more hurried. Far behind you could hear Erwin's door open, but you'd already turned the corner. You broke into a sprint, digging your fingers into your old clothes. A few stray scouts seemed to turn and watch you as you darted away. It didn't take long, soon breaking from the castle and finding yourself outside. You kept moving, despite not knowing where you were. Your horse whined as he saw you running past, but your mind buzzed. 

"Why am I even still here?? Erwin got my cuffs off! I can just steal some gear and get back out there. Back outside the wall. It's not like they're expecting me to actually stay. Levi obviously doesn't want me around. My family already grieved my death. There wasn't really anything keeping me here." 

You faltered, feeling your foot sink with a loud splash.  You looked down, finding your booted foot sunk in the soft mud of a lapping shore. You stopped. As you looked at the water, you slowly drew your eye upwards, now gazing over the lake before you. The moon, just beginning to make it's trek through the sky, glinted at you with two faces. It's twin danced on the water, the vague lapping of water hypnotizing you. In a sudden rush, your earlier memories of spending careless days at a lake with your family returned once more. Earlier it was a vague notion of a thought, but now it seemed more crushing. You fell backwards, landing with a heavy puff. You took to work with your boots, unbuckling them and freeing your feet from the tall shoes. Rolling up your pant legs, you slowly edged your toes into the water. A chill ripped up your spine and you shuddered. You couldn't stop thinking. 

You want to escape again, or reverse time so that maybe you could avoid being found at all. 

But what exactly was so scary about being back? Your family thought you were dead. You could be killed here for being a defector. Even if you were let back you'd be forced into a company you didn't want to be in, where you weren't even liked. 

You sighed, resting your head against your knees as water licked up your ankles. "Why did I stop here?" You whispered. 

"You were supposed to come back after you were done."