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2: Make Them Laugh

Prompt:
With the contestants having a break in another room of the building, everyone is given a slice of cake, a drink and a sandwich. Everyone eats their food and has their drink. Now any powers your character had no longer work. However this is a temporary effect and all powers will resume at a later date.

While your character is summoned to the stage again, they notice that a large audience has gathered. The judges take to their seats and tell your character what the next challenge will be. Your character is getting their next task: a comedic routine.

The task is to make the audience laugh. How to do this is up to you—you can do a standup routine telling jokes, or you can use props that are made available on the stage. The prop box contains:
- A banana, fresh
- A pair of joke glasses (fake nose and moustache attached)
- A diaper (unused)
- A box of marbles, colored
- A rubber band
- An inflatable life-size doll of Elon Musk

*   *   *   *   *

Meixong was already in a bad mood. Something was up as soon as they were called on stage. Their steps echoed ominously down the empty corridor—not another contestant in sight—but as they neared the stage, they could hear the distinct murmuring of people.

By the time they entered the stage, their murderous intent was clear on their face.

They stopped just outside the curtain, choosing to ignore the audience and their growing headache. "Stagehand said you wanted to see me. Is it important? I'm on your scheduled break."

"Yes, we are calling you for your next performance," Snape drawled, and Meixong narrowed their eyes.

"...Now?"

"Yes," Avise said next. "We decided to not give you any preparation for your next assignment. With no previous warning, we can judge your pure talent in comedy."

Comedy? Who the hell do they think I am? A court jester—Meixong caught sight of an assortment of items at the edge of the stage. Some were familiar, while others were not so much, but the emotions surrounding the setup was definitely familiar. Except this was on a stage in front of hundreds of people instead of a train platform.

"No...you cannot be serious," Meixong groused, sending a fierce glare towards the judges. Three remained neutral while the yellow bear—they still didn't know who or what it was supposed to be—smiled in blissful ignorance. When Meixong realized they were indeed serious, they threw their hands in the air, stepping briefly behind the curtain. "Gods, dammit!"

Regaining some of their composure, Meixong stormed back on stage, stopping just in front of the microphone. It was at that moment the situation fully sunk in. Many eyes looked at them, all expecting them to make them laugh when Meixong themself didn't even know if they had laughed in the past five months. In hindsight, they were grateful they were too annoyed to feel any real embarrassment, and judging by the snickering from audience members, at least someone found their misery funny.

"Alright, what are the rules?"

"Simple," Rhojeka jumped in before Snape could open his mouth. "Make us laugh. But I'm sure you're thinking of that time at the train station, so I'm pleased to tell you that using the props presented is optional."

"Thank the gods. At least I don't have to figure out what on earth these things are, then." Meixong kicked the strange doll and glasses off the stage. They picked up the banana, though. "What's my time limit?"

"Um..." Rhojeka looked between the judges. "None?"

"Excellent."

With that, they sat at the edge of the stage, peeling the banana and eating it.

For the next few minutes, the hall stewed in awkward silence. The audience whispered to themselves as they watched. Snape even cleared his throat twice, trying to get Meixong's attention. Meixong ignored it all, using that time to think of a game plan. Few shared the same humor as themself, dry wit and sarcasm sometimes going unnoticed. But there was one thing that usually got people to laugh...

They dropped the peel off-stage and briefly brushed off their hands. It took little time for them to tilt the mic down towards the ground, removing the mic itself and laying the stand behind them.

"No matter how long you've been working in a field, you will never be prepared for everything," they began, taking a more candid tone. "Before I became a general, I was an interrogator, and before that, an investigator. It was during my investigative days did some of the outlandish things happened to me.

"One case comes to mind when thinking of something humorous. It was a couple of years after I became a full-fledged investigator—a rookie lieutenant—and we were closing in on an illegal alchemy ring we had been chasing for months. Arrests were made left and right, we were filing out more people than we had officers, and it was one of the biggest crime busts of the year that stopped thousands of faulty elixirs from entering the market. But there was one lab we had yet to account for, and honestly, I found it by accident.

"It was a false ceiling, I noticed, and being the impulsive adult in their twenties that I was, I decided to take a look up there myself." Meixong sighed. "I should've sent one of the younger men up first because I didn't expect to get whack-a-moled as soon as my head popped through the illusionary barrier."

A small chorus of laughter erupted across the crowd.

"You would think that was the funniest part, but I am pleased to say it only gets worse," Meixong grinned. "A minor scuffle broke out soon after, the alchemist in the ceiling bound and determined to go down swinging. Luckily, the rest of my team was only a room down, and it didn't take long for them to respond to our cursing and various non-discrete spells being flung around."

Meixong suddenly barked out a laugh, covering their mouth for a moment as they tried to get ahold of themself.

"By the gods, I wish I was joking, but realizing there were at least three more of us than himself, the alchemist decided it would be the perfect time to throw one of his potions at his feet. I managed to cast a barrier, protecting the rest of us from the resulting alchemical reaction that blocked our view, but when the fog cleared—" Meixong could barely contain their grin. "It was at this moment we found out this lab, in particular, was working on some sort of invisibility potion. Except it didn't exactly work the way it was supposed to. When the fog cleared, it did, indeed, turn fabric invisible."

It only took a moment for what Meixong was describing to sink in as an even louder roar of laughter echoed through the hall.

"Even worse, the potion was oil-based, so it never really dried. Any sort of covering we tried to offer him only turned clear as soon as it touched him, and even some of our own investigators suffered similar fates by only brushing against him as we led him out. I, of course, stayed twenty feet away from that fiasco. The look on the Councilmen's faces when they arrived on the scene is something I will treasure for years."

Meixong stood, signaling the end of their story, and they took a bow as the crowd cheered. "That's all, and hopefully you enjoyed that story more than I enjoyed the mild concussion I had afterward."

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