Circa. October 1995

**

Naina's POV

Our bed is full of clothes. Scattered everywhere.

My clothes. Suits, sarees, dresses, frocks, skirts; there is practically every type of clothes here, giving me a feeling that I had almost opened my personal clothing store here apart from ones in our boutique. I was a girl who hardly had mostly 8-10 clothes to wear for outside purposes, some 2-3 casual frocks to wear at home and only 2 night suits. And looking at the variety of the colors and fabrics and styles of all my costumes, I can vouch that Sameer has transformed me into a Fashion Icon, if not less. Woww!! Look at the number of outfits here. I can't even say 'I don't have anything to wear'.

A big suitcase is lying open in the center of the bed and my colorful dresses are spreaded all over; some folded in the suitcase, some randomly thrown on the bedsheet after taken out from their respective hangers while some in the middle of the process of getting folded, waiting to be there in the bag with their fellow mates, but tangled in our hands. We are in the middle of a discussion, which was initially supposed to be just a tease game, but now I'm dumbfounded, short of words and caught off guard.

Swati's question has put me in the situation where even this Mrs. Naina Sameer Maheshwari doesn't have any answer. I diss her saying she should just focus on folding the clothes, but her another sharp comment makes me speechless again.

"Naina, tu na shukar mana le ki tujhe itna pyaara husband mila hai Sameer jaisa... Agar koi aur hota na, toh tujhe samajh me aata..." Swati berates me while folding my nightie.

Yes, the Pink Nighty... Satin Ki... lace wali...

I still can't believe Sameer had purchased that nightie for me from a ladies shop. It was probably the worst timing of my life to turn at the very moment and see him pulling the string of a nightie on that mannequin, expressing with the act that how he's so willing to do the same when his wife would wear one, when I would wear one.

I still laugh at the fact that that nightie which Sameer bought supposedly as a gift for me, was never practically gifted to me. I learnt that Sameer had carried it with us on our honeymoon, only when he showed it to me in an intoxicated state. Of course, nothing happened to that nightie or should I say with that nightie after that and it travelled with us without even being put to use even for once. Since then, that nightie had just taken a corner in my wardrobe, without even asking me 'why am I not getting used?', and now ready to take another corner in my suitcase, that too just because I was packing all my clothes, just because we were shifting to Bombay. I actually feel bad for that nightie for a moment.

Don't lie Naina... I am feeling bad for Sameer who never uttered about the nightie, once we were back...!!!!

I don't know what suddenly takes over me, but I snatch the nightie from Swati's hands and tell her to fold other dresses. She gives me an astonishing look, followed by a smirk and then a blush.

Why does she have to make it so obvious?

We then pack most of my dresses in the suitcase, still keeping some for the upcoming days. I keep the packed suitcase at the corner of the room, sighing, finally one task is done!!

Kanji Bhaiya brings tea for the two of us in the bedroom itself and we enjoy the evening tea while talking about life in Bombay. I deliberately avoid speaking about the nightie or Swati's question that if nothing has happened between us, Sameer and me, till now. I know she knows it. She's my best friend, she can easily figure out how I'm trying to dodge the subject but failing miserably in it. But I'm glad that she doesn't push much on it.

I keep the tray with our empty cups on the side table and Swati gets up looking at the wall clock. I get up too, smiling back at her, conveying my thanks to her for taking time from her busy married life and helping me in the packing. We have this pact of not thanking each other, but I'm truly grateful to her.

She takes a step closer to me and keeps a hand on my shoulder, "Naina, bass ek baat yaad aayi. Toh socha tujhse baant lu."

I purse my lips, awaiting for something on that topic once again. I pretend to be ignorant, "haan bol na..."

Swati smiles and starts, "Naina, mai aur Munna kabhi hamare pyaar ke liye jhagad nahi paaye. Hum dono me itni himmat hi nahi thi. Lekin Ankit mera aaj hai. Mai shayad unse itna pyaar nahi kar paungi jitna mai Munna se karti thi, lekin woh mere pati hai... aur maine unko poori tarah se apna liya hai. Poori tarah se Naina..." She stresses on the last line again.

I genuinely smile at her statement, I'm so proud of her that she has dealt with her marriage so maturely.

She continues, "Lekin jiss Sameer ke liye tu poori duniya se, apnon se lad padi... jiss Sameer se tu beinteha pyaar karti hai... kya usko tune apni zindagi me poori tarah se apnaya hai Naina? Kya tune uske pati hone ke saare haq usko diye hai??"

I wonder what Swati had had for lunch before coming here. But she has again thrown a direct question at me and again I'm struggling to answer.

I'm almost experiencing a role reversal between us. The girl who used to finish her homework through my copies has now given a dose of wisdom to me, and the one who would be solving every difficulty in minutes for her, I, was at the receiving end of it.

Swati taps on my cheek and says, "chalti hu Naina... tere jaane se pehle phirse tujhse milne aaungi..." She leaves after, leaving me in a complete thinking mode.

I sit on the bed, completely lost in the various thoughts running in my mind at the moment. I understand what Swati intended when she said 'poori tarah se apnana'. She was talking about the vow that we all had taken in our weddings, that we would accept our partner with our 'tann-mann-dhan'. And today, Swati was talking about accepting the spouse with our body, giving it to them physically.

I am of course not the naive Naina that I was at the time of the wedding 10 months ago. That time I would have put a grimace on my face after listening to what she was saying, like all the times Sameer was hinting at me about something else and I would assume it completely out of the box. But today it isn't the case. I understand very well what Swati meant.

When I look at Swati today, I wonder how she has come all along the way and how our friendship has seen so many ups and downs in all these years. I still can't believe that I was there for Swati's wedding for just one hour.

Just. One. Hour.

The girl, my best friend, who had stood by me in every problem, who happily participated in every function of Pooja Didi's wedding and of course was there in Sameer and my wedding functions, but I had attended that very girl's wedding like any other normal guest. Where I went to the function, greeted the bride and groom and left after having food; with none of our friends present there, not even Sameer. I wish I had understood her silence during our ongoing wedding preparations, when she had a pinch of sadness whenever she would look at Munna. When she was back from her honeymoon, I had invited her here at home when Sameer was in the office. We quarreled like anything that day, I accused her of hiding things from me, she retorted with the argument that I didn't pay attention to her. We cried that day... a lot... by hugging each other tightly... but in the end, we sorted out all our differences and kept our promise of forever friendship intact.

Our group was divided into 'all vs Swati' in that period, as all the others were in favor of Munna. I somehow was with both of them individually. I didn't want to make injustice with anyone by supporting the other, I understood their pain equally. Thankfully the things got normal gradually as both Munna and Swati showed maturity in their relationship and moved on gracefully, without keeping a grudge about each other. But what she said today to me, is still ringing in my ears and suddenly I'm looking at both Swati and Munna with different perspectives.

Naina, tu na shukar mana le ki tujhe itna pyaara husband mila hai Sameer jaisa... Agar koi aur hota na, toh tujhe samajh me aata...

I felt a twist in my guts that time when she said it, but as I'm thinking about it more and more, the pain is turning to be sharper and deeper. Is she implying something with that statement? And I believe she meant much more than what she uttered.

Mai shayad unse itna pyaar nahi kar paungi jitna mai Munna se karti thi, lekin woh mere pati hai... aur maine unko poori tarah se apna liya hai.

Swati still loves Munna. And I know that Munna too still loves her equally. But they both are living a happy married life with their respective partners. Happy? I hope so.

We have this in the arranged marriage system, where a family chooses a life-partner for the boy or girl, the typical meet happens, if the prospective bride and groom are lucky enough then they get 10 minutes to talk to each other in private and then they need to give an answer then and there. It's as if you went for shopping, your parents selected a dress for you, you tried it on and then made the decision to buy it or not. As simple as that. Really?

Swati had hardly a month to know Ankit, before they got married as soon as our final year exam was over. And she was on the way to her honeymoon on the fifth day of her wedding. They say that sometimes even a little moment is enough to fall in love with a person, but does it really happen in reality?

Is it really enough to surrender yourself completely to the man you hardly knew?

The changes I saw in Swati after she returned from her honeymoon, it was clearly evident that she had given herself up completely. I know it's too weird to imagine something like this about my best friend, but was Swati really comfortable with Ankit on her first night? Didn't she hesitate one bit before giving herself to him? Did she willingly do all of this or was anything forced on her? Wasn't she scared about it for even a moment? The amount of knowledge about physical intimacy our girl gang had, even during the time of my wedding, I doubt she was educated anything about it in such a short time before her marriage.

So was she an entirely clean slate on her first night?

And then I just look at all the women of the society who tied knots in an arranged marriage system. When I was a child, I would think that when you get married, bhagwanji blesses you with a child within one year of your marriage. Well, that's what the track record of most of the elders says. A child within one year of the marriage, you getting it? The topper and inquisitive mind you know... and the data was sufficient enough to build my theory. 

Now when I finally understand all these things, I wonder if all those women really had the knowledge of physical intimacy and were ready for the suhagraat willingly. Did they know what happens in this process? Were all of them aware about the biological cycle of a woman?

I guess not.

Because I myself was unaware about all the things when I got married.

When I had gone to Chachaji's house for our pagphera rasam and Sameer had come to pick me up, I vaguely remember what Bela chachi had told me about the Suhaagraat.

'Dekh beta, aaj raat ko Damaadji ke liye badam doodh lekar jaana... aur uske baad woh jaise kahe waise hi karna... jyada sawaal mat karna... aur beta, unko naraaz mat karna...'

I was traumatized listening to all that Chachiji had said, and I hadn't understood why I shouldn't ask about anything to Sameer. Being an inquisitive person, I always prefer to question if things aren't clear to me. Ugghhh... I was so stupid and dumb back then.

Sameer was talking to Chachaji but he was looking at me through the corner of his eyes. Did he know what we were talking about? Because I certainly didn't. When we returned home and Sameer brought me here in our room, which was again decorated with flowers, I knew he was eager for our Suhagraat. But if we weren't disturbed by Maa and Papaji's voices, I would have still stopped Sameer from his advances, because I was uncomfortable with it.

Yes, that's true! I was uncomfortable and conscious around Sameer... my Sameer.

I love this man immensely, to the extent that I can do anything for him. But I wasn't ready to submit myself to him for something I didn't have a clue about. I had zero knowledge about physical intimacy that time and I wasn't prepared for the unknown. I believe if the suhagraat requires two people for it, then both of them should have the will and knowledge about the same, which I had nil.

I had displayed my lack of knowledge about this very early in our marriage. We had returned from our honeymoon and Sameer had visited Munna to enquire about the exam schedule. I was listening to the radio songs while waiting for him and one of the songs played on it caught my attention. I remembered that we friends, Swati, Kamya, Preeti and I were trying to find out the meaning of this song and Bela Chachi had berated us stating it as an 'ashleel' song.

I got a call from Preeti and I was surprised to hear what she said. "Naina, maine na abhi radio pe woh gaana suna... Saat saheliyaan khadi khadi..." She said enthusiastically.

I gasped heavily and got excited, "tune bhi suna... maine bhi suna yahan... aur mujhe tum logon ki hi yaad aa gayi..."

"Naina... sunn na... Mummy ne kaha tha na, ki shadi ke baad iss gaane ka matlab pata chal jayega, toh tujhe samajh me aaya iska matlab?" She sounded so thrilled with the idea that I was married by the time.

I made a small face, "Nahi yaar Preeti... mujhe abhibhi nahi samajh aaya..."

"Aise kaise nahi aaya Naina... shadi toh ho gayi na teri ab..." She was annoyed.

"Yaar Preeti koi chamatkar thodi na ho jayega... ki shadi ho gayi, aur matlab samajh me aa jayega." I retorted.

She sighed heavily but then chirped again, "Naina... Jijaji... jijaji ko pata hoga na... aur ab toh woh tere pati hai... tu puchh sakti hai na unse..." She suggested.

I resisted her initially but then the curiosity to know the meaning of the song was built up again. The way Chachiji had reprimanded us not to listen to this song again, triggered us to know more about it and I decided to ask Sameer when he would return home.

Sameer was back after some time and he took a seat on the sofa. He had some receipts in his hand. I stood excitedly in front of him, "Sameer, aaj na maine radio pe ek gaana suna... aur mujhe na uska matlab hi samajh nahi aaya..." I avoided telling him the backstory of it.

He smiled after seeing me smiling, "achchha? Kaunsa gaana?" I opened my mouth to tell about it but he cut me, "paani do na please," making a small face.

I directed myself to the kitchen and voiced, "arey woh gaana hai na... 'saat saheliyaan khadi khadi... fariyaad sunaye ghadi ghadi', I waited for his response while filling a glass of water for him.

I handed him the glass and he questioned again, "kya?"

I didn't recognize that he hadn't even heard the first line, since I was in the kitchen or he was busy checking the receipts, so I thought of elaborating. "Arey woh usme aise lines hai na...

'Ek saheli ka miyaan tha darzee,

Darzee ki biwi na banna kabhi...

Raat bhar mua sone na de,

Taanka ladayein ghadi-ghadi...'

"Iss ka matlab kya hai Sameer?"

The moment I finished my question, Sameer spat the water he was drinking. He started coughing and I got worried, rubbing his back with my palm I tried to comfort him.

"Kahan suna tumne yeh gaana?" Sameer asked when he felt normal.

I sat in front of him on the tea table, "radio pe... Sameer, batao na iska matlab?" I was grinning widely in the anticipation of the new knowledge, something that had kept all us friends intrigued about since long.

Sameer studied me for a moment, he was definitely seeing me as a kid waiting for an ice-candy. I was sitting almost on the edge of the table and I would have even clapped in happiness like that clapping-monkey toy, but Sameer wasn't up for it.

"Naina, isme aisi koi matlab wali baat nahi hai... seedha-seedha hi toh hai gaana..." He answered with a plain face, but his eyes were still inspecting me, as if searching for something in my eyes.

"Itna bhi seedha nahi hai... kuchh toh hai iss gaane me..." I blurted and immediately regretted it. I wish I could punch myself or at least facepalm myself. But doing it in front of Sameer would be more than obvious.

A lopsided smile covered Sameer's lips and I knew I was caught red-handed. "Achchha? Tumhe kaise pata?" His question and his smirk proved it immediately that how stupid I was for trying to be innocent in front of him.

He pulled the table I was sitting on closer to him and for a moment my attention was directed at his strength. How was he so strong without much exercise?

He clasped my hands in his and he pulled me a little, making our faces closer to each other's. "Batao na... tumhe kaise pata?" His words came out as a whisper but his intense gaze penetrated straight to my eyes, hinting to me there was something different in it, something that I didn't know yet.

Words were stuck in my mouth and my topper brain failed to come up with an excuse. His thumbs running on the back of my palms were adding more to my misery. His eyes were now on my lips and that took away all my power of thinking. "Woh... chachiji ne kaha tha..."

No. No. No. I didn't want to share that incident with him. That was so embarrassing.

He moved closer and his lips travelled close to my cheeks. I could feel his warm breath, but I wanted his touch, his lips touching my skin. Why wasn't he kissing me?

I felt my heartbeat taking a speed as his lips reached my ears. "Kya kaha Chachiji ne?" Again a whisper, and again damaging my system more and more.

My lips quivered. He wasn't doing anything but he still was doing so much. My mind failed to provide me with any excuse. Any.

"Chachiji ne kaha ki yeh gaana sirf shadi ke baad sunna." What was I doing? I was giving him every detail.

His lips turned into a smile. Yes, I could feel that on my ears, even though there was a little gap for the air to pass. I could still feel that he had smiled. He needed to do something now. His breath was messing with my whole body. And the next moment I experienced his hands travelling up, tracing up the length of my arms and then stopped at my shoulders.

"Naina... Naina... tum jald hi iss gaane ka matlab samajh jaogi... mai samjha dunga..." He said and gently kissed my left ear.

I released a breath held for long, as if I was waiting for the kiss. But it again invoked a different feeling within me, and I wanted more of it somehow.

He moved back and looked at me. His eyes were roaming all over my face and he was grinning. Probably I was blushing too hard and my cheeks must have turned dark red. My chest was heaving more prominently and looked like he noticed that too.

Why did it seem like he had achieved something?

"Bhabhiji..." Kanji Bhaiya's voice breaks my reverie. I have been sitting here since Swati left. "Woh... raat ke khane ka bata dijiye. Taaki kuchh bazar se lana ho toh mai laakar rakh deta hun." He says with his smiling face.

"Aap chaliye Bhaiya, mai aakar batati hun..." I reply to him getting up.

He nods and takes the tray of our empty cups and plates with him.

I still linger in the room for a while. I look around the room, suddenly remembering that very few days are left to spend here and create memories.

I take some lazy strides to reach the study table, feeling its wood with my palm and one sweet memory with Sameer floods in my mind, a moment that this study table has witnessed and that had nothing to do with studying.

Sameer was patient with me all the time after our marital life had finally commenced. After his disappointment with our dry honeymoon, I had decided to let him take the lead if he wanted a kiss. Our exam had started and we had places to study all over the house. Bedroom, living room, dining hall, garden, terrace... Sameer would make a perfect setup for romance and I would convert it to a study session, with of course some rewards at the end.

One day, we finished our decided topic while studying here on the study table and Sameer pulled me for a kiss. He had pinned me on the table, letting my hips rest on it while he stood in front of me, bending forward. The kiss was slow and gentle. Each day with Sameer was invoking new feelings and new sensations in me. Even for the kiss, I would feel butterflies in my stomach and my toes would curl on the floor. I sank my hands in his hair and his palms wandered on my waist.

The feeling of his lips on mine was enough to take me into another world. Sameer has this habit of moistening his lips often and I know that he would purposefully do it before kissing me too. And that day wasn't any exception. The wetness of his lips on mine passed jolts of current all over my body, starting from the spine and reaching straight down in between my legs. I squeezed my legs together but never wanted to leave his lips. We were just kissing each other's lips, fighting to catch the lower lip of each other in ours, wanting to dominate the kiss. Soon, Sameer started kissing me fervently and I felt his hand traveling upwards to my chest. And, my subconscious got awakened.

I pushed him with a little force to part us; frightened, I crossed him. But he caught my hand immediately and made me turn. He looked disappointed seeing me scared.

"Kya hua? Darr kyu gayi tum?" He asked me with a frown, controlling his breath.

"Na.. nahi... kuchh nahi... aisehi..." I fumbled. Fear was clearly visible on my face and who better than Sameer could read it.

His shoulders slumped, sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair. He sat on the table, "Naina, kya chachiji ne tumhe kuchh bhi nahi samjhaya?" He asked frustratingly.

I crumpled my frock in a fist near my thighs, "kiske baare me?" I was afraid to look into his eyes.

"Pati-patni ke rishte ke baare mein Naina..." He answered desperately. I stood there without uttering a word. I was still figuring out that 'pati-patni' ka rishta in my own way and at my own pace.

He closed his eyes in annoyance for a moment and chided, "aur drop karo Biology 12th me. Kyunki Madam ko toh Hindi padhna tha na..."

I flinched at his tone. Just a few minutes before, he let me experience new feelings inside me and now I was more scared of his rebuke than the feeling of his traveling hand. The nerves on my neck started stiffening and my breathing accelerated too. Not because of the kiss, but because of the frustration I could feel in Sameer's voice and his body language, and the fact that I was somehow the reason behind it.

I was aware of his anger, how can I not. I've been the prime witness of many such incidents where Sameer's anger has burst, sometimes being a recipient at the other end too. But today, it was something different. Something that I invoked in him and then left incomplete.... unfinished... As if I showed water to his parched soul, but didn't let him drink it. Something... That I didn't know.

A pool of tears gathered in my eyes unknowingly. It was the guilt of leading him to such a state and not knowing anything of it. Sameer was quick to notice it and he immediately dropped his anger. He could never see me crying, no matter how upset he was with me.

He took a deep breath and held my hand in a gentle grip. Pulling me closer, he softly voiced, "Naina... I'm sorry, okay..." His left thumb wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes. He stood up and pulled me into his embrace. I instantly stopped crying, feeling his warmth. My body relaxed the moment I heard his heartbeats and I wrapped my arms around his lower back. He rubbed my back and kissed my head, whispering sorry once again with all the love.

Moving back, he cradled my face in his palms and relaxed after seeing me gently smiling. "Naina, mai jaanta hu tumhe iske baare me jyada pata nahi hai... lekin... tumhe darne ki zaroorat nahi hai... kyunki mai tumhare sath hu... tumhara yeh pati tumhare sath hai Naina... hum dheere dheere aage badhenge... tumhari speed se... you trust me, na?"

My ears and my brain need not hear his question to reply in yes, it was something that always comes naturally to me, as if my soul responds that I trust him. And so it happened at that time too, I nodded in yes without even thinking any of it. The earnestness in Sameer's eyes and the love he had for me, it never put me in any dilemma when it came to trusting him.

I give full credit to Sameer for being so considerate with me regarding the aspect of our physical closeness. He has respected every decision of mine, he has respected my boundaries, he has understood my situation and he has given me immense time to adapt with the proximity. But he made sure that we only progressed ahead while exploring the different avenues of this bond. He also let me express my desires to him and be open about it. His first and foremost step was to make me comfortable with the touch, whether it's him touching me or I touching him. And he started with the latter.

We had this unsaid pact between us that I would always get ready first in the morning and go downstairs to instruct Kanji Bhaiya about the chores. Sameer then would take his own time and come downstairs. We had a gap of a week for every paper during the exam, so apart from the exam day, our mornings would go pretty smoothly.

One such day, I was done with informing Kanji Bhaiya about the breakfast and lunch and thought of revising a chapter I read last night. I came into the room to take notes and what caught my attention was the most attractive sight I could ever imagine.

Sameer was standing just out of the bathroom, he was draped only in the white Turkish towel and was trying to wear his pants. His legs were still wet and I wondered if he dried himself properly. Due to the thick fabric of the pants, he was unable to shove his wet leg into it and he was almost jumping on one leg as if dancing on the song 'Jai jai Shivshankar...'

The sight was indeed funny and I should have actually laughed, but it took me to our honeymoon when he had teased me by cladding himself in only a towel. That day I was deeply nervous and conscious. It was the first time for me to see him with minimum clothes on. I had stuck my eyes mostly to the floor and was hardly gazing at him, despite his numerous attempts to make me look at him.

But at the moment, he wasn't even aware that I was standing there. I took advantage of it and wandered my eyes on him. His hair was wet, but looked like he had ruffled it after coming out, so the wet strands of hair were falling on his forehead. His broad shoulders were clearly visible as he had bent down and I thought how it would be to feel those bare muscles with my hands. Taking the tour of his body to his partially visible chest, my eyes widened and breath quickened. His collarbone had a perfect shape, it looked chiseled, leading to the broad and sinewy chest. I wanted to see more of it, I wanted to see the mole on his chest that I had seen for the first time on honeymoon. And his flat abdomen... well... Sighh... His bent figure restricted my vision and I became a little upset.

My disappointment didn't last longer as the next moment I saw him losing the balance and before he could fall, I rushed to him and caught him with my little strength. My right hand grabbed his left arm, while my left hand went to his back, as he was about to fall on his right. I could feel his weight on me, but thankfully, he got the hold on me too. Had he not put his foot down, we both would be on the floor in that small space.

"Thanks Jaaneman..." He winked at me and laughed at his stupidity.

But I didn't respond. I didn't laugh with him. I was busy feeling his bare and somewhat wet skin through my palms... just like that day in the hotel room... My right hand could feel his muscular bicep while my left one at the back was experiencing the smooth wet skin and hard muscles there. My eyes were fixed on the veins of his neck that got dissolved in the sharp collarbone and the hollow created there due to his hands' positioning on my waist. My gaze roved upwards to his sharp but darkened jaw. Looked like he had skipped shaving and I liked it. Shifting my eyes a little left, I found his plum lips which I surely knew that it tasted so good. Couldn't I taste it again?

His lips suddenly turned into a lopsided smile and I looked up, to feel embarrassed about my act once again. My eyes met Sameer's, but I didn't find any teasing. I found only adoration.

"Apne pati ko nihar rahi thi?" He asked softly.

I realized my folly and tried taking my hands off from his body. He caught my hand midway, pulling me closer from the waist, "Naina... mai tumhara pati hu... tumhara adhikar hai mujhe chhoone ka..." He said looking straight into my eyes.

I perceived that for the time I was ogling at him, his physique and his smooth skin, he was admiring me and studying me. He was probably finding the meaning of my each and every gaze at him, he was trying to read my feelings. It was clear from his response that he discerned how I wanted to touch him badly but was hesitating. I just love this man!

He took my right hand to his chest and flattened my palm right over his heart. I felt his heart beating fast, telling me how thrilled he was to feel me on his bare skin... again... His heartbeats told me about his unconditional love for me, it told me how I belong here and how it is beating only for me. I realized my heart too was already beating with the same speed, and we were experiencing the effect of 'love' on us together.

He bent towards my left, "Naina, you can touch me..." He whispered, his lips so close to my left ear that I felt its vibration. "Anywhere....." He added after a brief pause.

I looked at him surprisingly, but the assurance in his eyes calmed me down. I swallowed my hesitation with a lump and gathered courage. Yes, I wanted to touch him and he is my husband. As he said, I have that right and I need not fear it.

Keeping my left hand on his waist, I shifted my right one more to his left. The tour of his body that I was doing with my eyes some time before, now had started with my hands. My palm brushed with his nipple, and a shiver ran through my back. But I didn't let it affect me as my eyes were focused on his mole just above it. Something that I was so captivated by during our honeymoon episode. It was for such a brief moment then, that I was unsure if it was a mole or a wart. But I finally got the answer. It's a mole. I traced it with my index finger and I heard Sameer chuckling.

Oh No!! He knew I was fascinated about his mole....

I felt shy, I looked at him but again his calm eyes gave me more courage. He was happy and content with the one step I had taken forward. Just like the other incidents, where he stood beside me and showed his support, in this moment too, he indicated to me to proceed.

My hand continued the exploration, which was soon joined by the left one too. They went through the muscular planes of his chest, traced down the patch of hair that started from the middle of his chest and ended below his abdomen. My palms checked his biceps, how strong they were and how they had bulged due to his hold on me. I found my right palm suddenly on his left shoulder, traveling to the side of his neck and lingering on every protruding nerve there. My fingers itched to touch his Adam's apple, and so they did. He swallowed at the same time and my index finger experienced that movement live. My lips felt jealous of my finger, as I was tempted to kiss it. Well, not just that. My lips were tempted to kiss at every place my finger had explored. As the destination point, both my hands met at his jaw, feeling his stubble on it and my eyes got fixed on his lips again.

God!!! Why can't I see anywhere else?? What was it with his lips that I wanted to taste it so badly?

I saw his lips moving. "Kiss karne ka mann kar raha hai?" He asked softly.

My subconscious awakened again and my attention was back to the present moment. All this while, Sameer was standing like a statue, not making any movement and letting me do whatever I wanted to. His hands were fixed on my lower back, they didn't wander anywhere and I didn't know why but it disappointed me.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at him and nodded. My mind and my heart were debating inside, my mind admonishing me not to cross my boundaries. But my heart defeated it each time, saying that it was my right.... that I need not hold on to my desires... that I should do what I feel.

"Toh phir karo na..." His hoarse voice fell on my ears and my system was messed up again.

I failed to recognize what Sameer was feeling the entire time while I was enjoying his body tour. I failed to deduce that I had awakened his senses too. He too must be feeling desirable while holding me so close to him and still not doing anything. And I wanted to give him what he wanted... what I wanted.

Taking my hands to his shoulders, I lifted myself on my toes and without much delay, I put my lips on his in a softest kiss. I put more such soft kisses on the corners of his lips, feeling every part of it. Sameer didn't respond, he let me do however I wanted, in my own way. I kissed both his cheeks, the raspy feeling of his stubble on my lips erupted goosebumps all over my neck. I immersed one of my hands in his hair and pulled him down slightly. I kissed his lips again, now with more determination to take the lead, and this time, Sameer responded too.

I kept on kissing him, trying to make the most of it, but I knew only this much of a kiss. I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more. I wanted something more. What was it? I was disappointed with myself for not knowing it. It was making me frustrated. And that was getting reflected in my kiss as my lips pulled his lower lip and my nails scraped his shoulder. Sameer understood my frustration and he took charge of our kiss instantly.

He finally moved his hands upwards on my back and dipped his left hand in my hair. By pulling my head back, he leaned more on me and applied pressure on my lips. I couldn't discern what he was trying to do, but I let him do it. Probably this was the new move he was teaching me?

Yes!!! I was excited for it...

Sameer started kissing me fervidly. He ran his tongue on my lips and I started losing control of my body. He nibbled my lower lips and pulled it down, making me open my mouth. The next second, he pushed his tongue inside my mouth and my eyes snapped open. It was such a different feeling altogether. I wanted to move back but I wanted to stay in. And Sameer had fathomed that too. His eyes were closed, but he had loosened his hold on the back of my neck while still keeping the one on my waist tight, as if giving me time to withdraw from the kiss, but still urging me to trust him with this. And yes, I chose the latter.

His tongue was creating havoc inside my mouth. It appeared as if his tongue knew every corner of my mouth. He tasted mint, of course, the toothpaste flavor and I realized he was transferring it to me too. He teased my tongue with his, he sucked and nibbled my lips, and I couldn't stand anymore on my feet. I held on to him tight fearing I would fall anytime, as if I'm drowning into this thing called 'pleasure' and he is my only savior. But instead of pulling me up, he was taking me deeper and deeper, into the ocean of ecstasy along with him, and I was liking it.

I responded soon in the kiss with equal passion. I didn't remember us inhaling the air, taking a breather in real sense. We both were lost in this ferocious kiss. I felt something hard on my belly but I was too lost in the kiss to know what it was. And I wasn't in the mood even to pay attention to it. Sameer's arms roved on my back instantaneously and he lifted me from the floor. I was literally hanging in his arms, without any other support, but he was strong enough to lift me like a doll. My breasts were crushed on his hard chest while my arms were wrapped around his neck. The hormones and the blood in my body were running completely haywire. While the blood was rushing up to my face, the heat was traveling to the south, and converting into fluid in between my legs. I felt the need to press my legs together, but I was unable to do it. Also, I didn't understand the purpose of this lift, and that something 'hard' was now much below my stomach, almost close to my core, but my entire attention was to execute the new learning Sameer had just taught me.

To invade my tongue in his mouth.... But I was failing badly.

Sameer took a step ahead with me still hanging in his arms. He possibly was taking us to the bed. And we both didn't know what happened, but he stumbled on something and we were again saved from falling only by him. Our kiss was broken. We were panting heavily, taking as much oxygen as possible. He looked down at the cause of the fall and we saw his foot stuck into his pants. My eyes shifted from his foot to his shines, his towel and to his waist. I felt something odd looking at his towel, just below his waist, but before my brain could process anything about it, Sameer ducked down and took the pants off from his foot. He looked at me sheepishly and we both finally laughed.

"Bhabhijiiiii...."

I am taken out from these sweet but sensual memories again by Kanji Bhaiya's holler from the kitchen. Why does he so like to disturb someone?

Slapping my forehead and smiling to myself, I go downstairs. I just hope all those fond memories aren't visible on my face in the form of blush. It would be so embarrassing.

"Haan Bhaiya...??" I join Kanji Bhaiya in the kitchen.

"Bhabhiji, woh raat ka khane ka bata dijiye..." He says.

I think for a moment and somehow I want to make a special dinner for Sameer today. I suggest the menu of Gatte ki sabzi, bajre ki roti, kadhi, matar pulao, raita and Sooji Halwa to Kanji Bhaiya. I instruct him to prepare the rest of the dishes and keep the dessert, Sooji Halwa, for myself. 'I' will make halwa for Sameer.

Sameer has gone out to meet a party, along with Munna and Pandit, to make a deal about our Boutique stuff. He said that he has some more things to do, such as book a tempo for our shifting and enquire about the railway tickets to Bombay. He should be back by 8pm. It's just 5 in the evening and I actually have a lot of time to prepare things.

"Bhabhiji, waise maine saare bartan yahan basin me rakh diye hai. Lekin agar kuchh bache ho, toh aap rakh dena yahan. Mai bazaar se aake dho dunga sab." Kanji Bhaiya informs me, grabbing a cotton bag from the corner. He has made a list of a few items to buy from the market and he leaves within 5 minutes.

I try to search for any empty plates or cups in the house. The cups Swati and I had tea in are already taken by Kanji Bhaiya. Oh yes! Sameer and I had breakfast in the morning in the terrace garden. I'm sure Sameer must have kept the plates there itself when I had to come to the kitchen. It has been more than 10 months for us living in this big bungalow, but Sameer still urges for different places for breakfast everyday. The places keep repeating after a point, but that morning tea and the talks we have during the breakfast, the way Sameer still sneak glances at me, the way he still pretends to burn his mouth due to hot aloo-paratha, the way he adores me when I'm bringing the tray at the decided place or when he makes me sit, asks to rest and himself brings the breakfast.... All the memories here in this house that I've spent with Sameer, are never going to fade away.

I direct myself to the terrace garden. Our empty cups, plates, glasses of water and a jar, a newspaper, everything is just there. I laugh at the scenario and walk ahead to collect the plates. But I halt, looking at the surroundings. The evening sun is looking so serene and spectacular. The October breeze is so soothing. I've heard about the Bombay weather that it is always humid there and there's practically no severe winter like here in Ahmedabad. And I'm already missing this city and our bungalow even before leaving.

I stand near the parapet wall painted in white, keeping my hands on it, I inhale the air closing my eyes. I feel Sameer's hands on my closed eyes. I turn immediately to find him, but there's no one. I laughed at my situation. What has happened to me? I'm continuously blushing by remembering something or the other. I'm constantly lost in the memories created in this house with Sameer. And at this moment, it was again a sweet memory that I shared with Sameer at this very place.

A memory that was beautiful and utterly sensual at the same time...

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Hey friends, this was the first chapter of this Three Shot. Let me know how do you find it.

This is a different perception altogether that I'm trying to showcase. And this would be entirely from Naina's pov.

Drop in your comments about this chapter.

What do you think will be there in the next one?

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