Chapter 7

“Claire, you can’t just leave everything you know behind,” Dad said with the bang of his fist against the table.

Mom did nothing but sit quietly by him with her hands placed in her lap and head hung low. I could see that she had different ideas than my dad, but she wouldn’t dare speak against her mate. She was to old fashioned.

“Can’t you understand why I’m doing this?” My voice was a low whisper. I never liked having arguments with my father. However, sometimes it couldn’t be prevented; like now.

Since I had told him about my plans to leave the pack and mate another wolf he had been less than thrilled. He sent Kieran a few glares throughout our discussion, but Kieran wasn’t at all affected like I was. Here I am supposed to be Luna of a pack and I’m sitting here scared of what my Dad thinks.

It’s not like he could actually stop me since I was of age to make my own decisions, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try.

“I understand that you are hurt Claire, believe me I do. But leaving your pack and everything behind is a little drastic, don’t you think?”

He was desperately trying to get the message across to me that I was making a mistake with his tone and gestures. He wasn’t making this easy on me.

“Daddy, I just lost my mate. He chose someone else!” I was speaking a little louder now. It took him by surprise.

“He didn’t want to do that, but the circumstances called for it.”

I shook my head refusing to hear anymore about it. It still hurt too much to speak of Daniel. The hole in my soul was still very much there. I felt the tears forming in my ducts.

“This is what I want. I’m going with Kieran tonight and I’d love to have the support of my parents. However, if I have to I’ll go without it, I will. Please don’t make me.”

Dad stared back at me wearily. He looked like he’d aged at least ten years since this conversation started. It made me feel guilty.

“We don’t want you to leave us Claire. Who knows when we’ll see you again.”

“I asked you to come,” I reminded him. “You chose not to.”

“My home is here. My pack is here. Your mother and I are too old to start over in another pack.”

“You won’t have to worry about that,” Kieran said. “You’ll be taken care of. We don’t expect you to prove your place in the pack. These are unusual circumstances after all,” he pointed out.

“But I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t,” he explained.

I could see his dilemma. I know this put him in an impossible spot and it wasn’t fair to him; or anyone for that matter. Unfortunately, this could not be helped, though. He had to make a choice, for him and my mom.

“Please, dad. Come with us. I don’t want to leave you anymore than you want me gone.”

He sighed heavily and rubbed his face with a calloused hand before turning to look at my mom. Her eyes held worry and debate. She was torn.

“Why do you think honey?” he asked her.

“I just want everyone to be happy,” she answered vaguely.  

“I know you do,” he agreed. “But right now I need you to be outspoken about this. I’m at a loss.”

As if he had commanded her, my passive mother did something I had not heard her do in years. She took charge and spoke her mind. It was liberating for me to hear. I rarely ever saw this side of her. I imagined it was her wolf complying with my father request.

“I think Claire should do what she thinks is best for her. She lost her mate to another wolf and it crushed her soul. She is broken and weak from the pain of what this has done. We have no idea what she’s going through. We have never experienced losing a mate before. I don’t think we have a right to judge her for her choices. If she wants to try to move on from this then I say we stand behind her one hundred percent.”

Everyone at the table was speechless. Even my dad and that was even more surprising than my mother’s speech. She had taken us all by surprise.

“I didn’t know you felt this way,” he said.

She rubbed my Dad’s hand showing her guilt for thinking differently than him and gave him an apologetic look. “We have to let her go, Richard. It’s the right thing to do. We’ll survive, just like we always have.”

“Does this mean you’re not coming with me?” I asked a little saddened.

Mom looked away from my dad and back at me. “I agree with your father on this one. Like he said, this is our home. We know everyone here. Our family is still part of this pack. You may have your prejudices against the pack, but for us this is our entire life.”

I nodded in understanding, but the water works still came anyway. Just because you understand something doesn’t make it easy.

“We’re not deserting you. So please don’t misunderstand us. We’ll be here as long as you need us. We’re only a phone call and a few towns away.”

Kieran placed his hand on my back and rubbed soothing circles to calm me. It felt odd to have him comforting me, but it wasn’t terrible. In fact, it felt nice to know he actually cared. That’s a plus to have in a mate I suppose.

“Are you sure we can’t change your mind?” Kieran pleaded.

He was going through a lot to give me what I wanted. It was something I had not expected in this deal. I liked seeing Kieran care so much.  It made me see the more human side of him, than animal. I knew Alpha’s were all business and no play, but Kieran seemed different somehow.

My father gave me an apologetic look and shook his head. His eyes then meet Kieran’s. “No, I’m sorry.”

It hurt me that they were willing to be so far away from me, but on the other hand, I could understand where he was coming from. I knew what he wanted to stay. My aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents were here. He didn’t want to leave them, and it would be asking too much for them to leave with us.

He sighed and rubbed his tired face. It was then that I had noticed the how aged my father really was. Being in the pack all these years and wore him down and now with the added stress of the past week on top of that, he looked like a walking zombie. This was too much on him.

Maybe it would be better for him if he stayed. With me gone he might finally have some peace. Maybe with some time, and when things settle down, he can come visit us in our new pack. It wasn’t like I would never see him or my mom again.

“If this is really what you want then I guess I have to accept it,” I said.

“It is,” he confirmed. “Both your mother and I are comfortable and happy here, and you deserve that as well.” His face was saddened, but serious. “If leaving here gives you happiness and comfort, then you should go. We will be there for you no matter what you choose to do.”

I suppose my Mom’s words made him see things her way. Relief washed over me. It meant more than I could convey that he supported me in this decision to leave. It was the complete opposite of what he felt only half an hour ago.

The peaceful silence we fell into grew. Mom and Dad smiled at each other then at us. I knew what this meant for us and it was going to be harder that I imagined it would. I felt a strange sense of comfort when Kieran reached under the table and placed his hand on top on mine. Our hands rested in my lap.

“I guess I should start packing then,” I said breaking the silence.

“Would you like some help?” Mom offered.

“I would like that.”

It would be the last time she would get to spend any alone time together for a while. I needed this if I was going to be parted from her for who knows how long.

Kieran gave me an encouraging nod. “I’ll just run into town and fill up the tank for our journey back. It’s going to take us at least two hours to get there providing traffic is good.”

“Okay,” I smiled weakly. I knew he was just trying to give me my space and I appreciated it. This wouldn’t exactly be easy. Saying goodbye never was.

He released my hand and stood to his feet. My parents and I followed after him to the door. After he opened it he turned back to me.

“I’ll be back in an hour. Will that be enough time?”

I nodded. He returned it in reply and gave me and my parent’s one last glance before exiting through the door. He pulled it closed behind him. It was only a minute later I heard the start of the car engine and he was gone.

The emptiness I felt when I was alone crept back up inside me again. The same emptiness I had felt continuously until yesterday; until Kieran saved me…or is trying to anyway.

Mom placed her hand on my shoulder and caused me to turn from the wooden door and face her, revealing the empty look in my eyes I know she wouldn’t miss.

Concern crossed her face. An expression I thought had become permanent until I starting speaking again. It seems like I had a way of bringing out in her. 

She was worried for me. Dad wore a similar look.

“Come on, honey. I’ll find the suitcases,” she said.

I let her lead me up the stairs to my room. She left me by the door while she rummaged through my closet for the luggage.

I took a slow look around my room taking in everything that was familiar about it. I was creating a memory. One I would not forget.

After a few minutes of banging around she reached them and pulled them down from the top of the closet. She placed each one on my bed, side by side.

I still had not moved from the spot she left me in.

“Would you like me to call him back?” she asked softly.

I knew who she meant.

“No,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”

She watched me in silence for a moment before speaking back up again. “He seems to help you. You don’t quite seem so empty when he’s around,” she noted. “I think he will be good for you.”

“We have something in common. He understands what I’m going through,” I answered, trying not to wince at the painful memory of that day in the diner. I quickly pushed it from my mind.

“I’ll start over here,” I said walking towards my dresser and opening one of the drawers.

I pulled out the first articles of clothing my hands touched and carried them over to my bed where the suitcases were.

My Mom didn’t speak of Kieran anymore seeing my reaction to my own words. When the tension dissipated she walked to my closet and began pulling the clothes from my closet. In big bunches, she carried them to my bed until it they were just one large heap beside the cases. Picking up one article at a time, she folded it and placed it neatly inside the suitcase.

It looked much better than my suitcase I was working on. More organized. She had definitely honed the tidiness skill much better than I. She had had years of experience though. I had never spent much time trying to master it as she had.

We were nothing alike, my mother and I. Nor was I like any of the other she-wolves in the pack. I was different. I didn’t share their same ideas they had.

Most of them took on the role of mothers and homemakers. None of them held any real positions in the pack and that bothered me.  Why it didn’t bother anyone else was incomprehensible to me. I guess I was truly different than them.

No doubt that’s why Daniel loved Jasmine so much. She was exactly what he looked for in a Luna. She was submissive, not at all out spoken. She would make the perfect little mate while he ran the pack. I always felt that running a pack was a two person job, not one.

I continued packing up the dresser until I could bear it no longer. I fell onto the bed in a slump. My mom jerked her head towards me before walking to end I sat on and took the clean spot next to me.

“What’s wrong with me, Mom?”

She wrapped her slender arm around my shoulders, in an act of comfort and sighed wearily. “You just lost your mate honey. There is nothing wrong with you. This is a completely natural reaction to that.”

I shook my head. “No not that. I mean my whole life. Why am I so different from all the other female wolves?”

Sympathy crossed over her features as she stared back at me. “There is nothing wrong with you, honey. You are your own person. You’re special.”

Of course she would say that. She’s my mother.

“But look at you and look at me,” I said. “You chose to stay home and care for your mate and raise a family just as most everyone chooses. In school, all the girls were so excited about finding their mates so that they would claim them and they could start baring pups. I wasn’t like that. I mean sure I wanted to find mine, but settling down was, and is, the last thing on my mind. I want some excitement and adventure. Exactly what a real Luna should want. Not just to bear the next Alpha.”

I don’t know if she could understand where I was coming from, but I needed someone to comfort me and tell me I was right to feel the way I did. I hadn’t expressed my opinions much in the past due to causing possible conflict in the pack. However, now that I was leaving them, there was nothing preventing me from being honest. 

“I know that you have never approved of the way things are in our pack and I can understand that. You’re just so much like your father. You’re strong willed, stubborn and opinionated; the exact opposite of me. I made my choice. This is the life I wanted. But you, you are so much more than I am. You will make a difference. You are a leader.”

“Really,” I smiled, slightly cheered. Then I sighed at a sudden realization. “I don’t feel like much of a leader right now. I feel weak, insignificant.”

She smiled warmly at me. “That’s because you’re broken. You’re not yourself right now. It’s going to take some time to get yourself back. But don’t worry, you will.”

I suppose she had a point. He words struck something in my memory. A conversation that Kieran and I had earlier today.

“I am physically unable to be an Alpha to my pack. I’m too weak right now to make any decisions. My beta is taking over for me until I am able to resume my position again, whenever that may be.”

I felt like I had a better understanding of what he felt now. Was his wolf missing too? Did he have no one to guide him? You can’t lead a pack if your wolf is missing.

That brought another question to mind.

“Will I get her back?” I asked. “My wolf I mean.”

“She’s been distant,” she acknowledged. “Well that’s reasonable all things considering. She’s hurt to. The only difference between the two of you is that you have someone to console you and she doesn’t. She’s grieving all alone.”

That is exactly what I would be doing if not for Kieran-grieving alone.

“Oh,” I mumbled, understanding washing over me.

“Don’t worry, sweetie.” She patted my hand gently. “I think that with a little time and healing she’ll be back. It’s probably going to take her a little longer to heal than you, that’s all.”

That made sense. Like Mom said, she is all alone. Even I couldn’t help her.

“Thanks, mom,” I smiled lightly. “I don’t how I’ll survive without our talks when I’m gone.”

“You’ll manage,” she said confidently. “You’ll have Kieran. And we can always talk on the phone. Maybe even visit if it’s possible.”

That comforted me some.

“You can visit anytime you like,” I assured her.

I tear escaped my eye when she wound her arms around me, giving me a tight hug.

“I love you, Mom,” I whispered.

“I love you too, honey.”

Once she let me go I stiffened. The atmosphere around us had changed and the smell in the air was one I would know anywhere.

I felt my wolf starting to stir. So she was there. She didn’t try to resurface, but she wasn’t remaining dormant either.

My eyes flashed to the doorway where my dad stuck his head in as if testing the water. He looked almost remorseful.

“Claire,” he said as he entered. “Someone is here to see you.”

I stood up abruptly from my bed and backed into to the furthest corner of my room to get away from him. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t be near him.

“No,” I whispered. “I can’t see him again. Send him away.”

But it was too late. He was already in my room standing before me, next to my dad. I felt as if I was suffocating. The proximity between us was entirely to close.

He was in my house! Why?

My mom looked visibly upset at my dad. She glared at him and Daniel both before speaking. “Richard, how could you? You know what he put her through.”

That was the first time in my life I had ever saw her stand up to my father. She was always on his side. She believed in standing with your mate, not matter the circumstance. This was the exact opposite of that.

My dad hung his head shamefully. “I’m sorry. I had to let him in.”

Daniel chose this time to speak up. He was looking directly at me. “Don’t be mad at him. He had no choice except to let me in. It was orders.”

It was startling how much his voice and everything about him still affected me. It wasn’t fair. When he chose Jasmine that should have vanished. He had no right to be back here.

The hurt I felt was still present, but unlike last time, there was also so anger mixed in with it.

“Could I please speak to Claire alone please?”

It seemed like a request, but I could hear the order underlining his tone. They had to comply. They were still a part of this pack.

They both nodded in submission and my mother stood from the bed. My father waited for her to reach him and they both exited together.

I pressed myself even further into the wall when he took a step towards me. A whimper unintentionally escaped my throat. I could only imagine how weak I appeared to him. However, he didn’t look much better. Behind his eyes, he was broken. Perhaps not as much as I was, but he didn’t get out of this completely unscathed.

He stopped mid stride and held his hands up in front of him, allowing me to see he wouldn’t come any further. If he did, I was sure to break all over again.

“I’m just here to talk,” he said. “I won’t come any further if you would prefer it.”

I didn’t speak. I was afraid to. My voice couldn’t hold up speaking to him. Everything I buried deep inside of me would come spilling out with my words. Instead of answering, I just nodded and he understood. He dropped his hands and sat on the edge of my bed facing me.

My wolf was all ears.

“I had to see you before you left. I need to explain myself before you decide on hating me forever.”

His words seemed sincere. My wolf believed him.

“I want you to know, I never intended on rejecting you. The day I discovered you was the happiest day of my life. I was just confused.  I needed to go home and think about what this meant. Even though I wanted you, I knew this would complicate things. I had to figure out how to sort everything out.”

He paused momentarily as if thinking about that particular night then continued. “I wanted you to come with me so nothing could change my mind about us. I knew that the longer you were with me, the more I would want you.” His expression became despondent. “But you wouldn’t come. You made me see that forcing you to do so would do more harm to us than good. So I went alone.”

His memory seemed to take him back there again. He stared intently at my peach colored floral wallpaper and frowned.

“I had planned on telling Jasmine about you that night after I got home. When I got there she was waiting up for me with something of her own to confess.”

I didn’t have to guess to know what it was.

“After she told me,” he continued, “my mind went blank. Everything had changed. I could no longer tell her what I had planned to. Though I was elated by the news of our baby I was also heartbroken for us because I knew what it meant.”

A tear slipped from eye at his confession. So he did want to be with me. He wasn’t just leading me on.

My body wanted to go to him, show him we still cared, however, I wouldn’t allow it. It would hurt us both more in the end. The outcome was still the same.

“So many times I wanted to call you and deliver the news, but I couldn’t. I knew you deserved better than that. I wanted the chance to explain in person. Then, as the days passed, I found myself making up excuses for not telling you. I soon realized I was only putting off the inevitable and I had to tell you.”

I soft sob erupted from my throat causing Daniel took look at me in guilt.

“The day you found out, was the day I was planning to tell you. I had James watching you until you got off work and then I was coming to get you. Unfortunately fate intervened, taking me there a lot sooner than I expected. When James told me you were there with Kieran I knew I was too late.”

The tears were pouring down my face now making my vision become blurry. The soft sobs continued as he stood up and cautiously walked toward me again. This time I didn’t stop him.

“I’m so sorry, Claire.” His hand touched my cheek once his was within distance of me.

When he stopped in front of me, we were as close as the night he first recognized me as his mate. Blood rushed to the surface of my skin where he touched. It sent a fire down the right side of my face as his hand trailed down to my neck. He let it rest there.

I tried to force myself to remain unresponsive to his touch, but my body was working against me. I reached my hand up and laid it on his. Electricity flowed between us. It surged through both of our arms like wildfire.

I didn’t stop the moan that came from my lips. My wolf was enjoying this closeness, but she still seemed cautious of him. She wasn’t quite trusting of him yet. Perhaps she sensed something that I didn’t.

Daniel leaned his head into mine and hovered just above my lips. There were only mere centimeters separating us. He paused, his breath fanning over my face.

To my surprise, my wolf was begging me to get away from him. She was hurting and I could feel it. We both knew that what was happening between Daniel and I couldn’t ever go anywhere. So why didn’t I listen to her?

I didn’t have time to think before his lips crashed down on mine. At first they were rough and hard, showing a sense of urgency, trying to get a reaction out of me, but when I didn’t respond they became slow and soft. It was then that the shock wore off and I was finally able to grasp the situation.

The same electricity that flowed through our veins before was now on our lips. Any voice of reasoning from my wolf was not heard due to Daniel’s distraction. And soon she disappeared all together. She intentionally shut herself off from me as a defense mechanism.

No sooner than I gave into the kiss did I realize what I was doing.

I gasped and roughly pushed him away from me. I could see that he had not been expecting that.

I shook my head. “No.”

Even though my voice was barely over a whisper he listened to me. He eyes became apologetic.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just had to know what it was like.”

This time I made my voice a little stronger. “You can’t just reject me, then waltz in to my house like you own the place, fill me with some sob story, then kiss me. It doesn’t work like that. I understand your dilemma, I do, but that is no excuse. Jasmine is your mate now, not me.”

I was surprised that didn’t hurt me to be so blunt about it. There was a twinge of sadness still in me, but with my wolf gone again, I was hollow once more.

He looked away from me in shame, staring at the full open suitcases on my bed.

“So I guess you’re going then,” he said.

“Yes, I am, tonight.”

His head snapped to me. “So soon?”

“There is no need to prolong the inevitable, is there? I need to pick up the pieces and move on with my life and getting out of this town is the only way to do that.”

“I suppose,” he admitted sadly. “But where will you go?”

I took a moment for me to answer him, thinking of the best way to tell him. After a minute passed I decided to be vague.  

“I have somewhere, don’t worry.” That’s all the information I felt I owed him. Not because I wanted to spare his feelings, but because it was really none of his business what I did anymore.  

He wanted to question me more, I could see that much, though he didn’t. He must have come across the same realization that I had. It was not his business to know. At least we could both agree on that.

“I should really finish packing,” I said breaking our silence.

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll leave you to it then.”

He smiled halfheartedly at me; it did not reach his eyes. With his hands pushed in his pockets he backed away from me and turned toward the door. He didn’t get far before he stopped in his tracks and looked at me once more.

“It is asking too much to part on good terms? I couldn’t bear it going through life knowing that you hate me.”

“I don’t you,” I said. “I forgave you the moment I woke up and realized what was going on.”

It wasn’t exactly easy to hold a grudge against your mate, if fact it was nearly impossible. That wasn’t the reason that forgave him, though. I knew that if I didn’t, I could never really let him go. He’ll always be there in the back on my mind haunting me and I wouldn’t allow that. Forgiveness means moving on which is exactly what I had to do.

“Thank you,” he said thoughtfully. “Take care of yourself, will you?”

“I will,” I promised. “You do the same.” And then I said something I thought would never come from me. “Good luck to you and Jasmine.” And the scary thing was, I meant every word of it.

“Good luck to you as well,” he replied.

The halfhearted small dropped from his face letting the pain show though one last time. “Goodbye, Claire.”

I returned the sorrowful expression and bid him the same. “Goodbye Daniel.”

He stared deep into my eyes for the briefest moment and then, just like that, he was gone. Nothing left but the faint scent of his familiar smell and the quiet he left in his wake.

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A/N

How did this chapter come off? I know it was sort of sad and depressing, but this is necessary to explain how she feels. Hopefully most of that is over now though, and we, along with Claire, can start to move on to better times.

Now please don’t expect it to be all sunshine and rainbows from here on out because there is still going to be things they have to deal with. I won’t rush the romance because right now it’s just not there, however, good things come to those who wait so hang in there for a while and you will see that for yourself.  Claire will be happy again! 

I also know that A LOT of you have questions. I've seen that. But please just hang in there and they will all be answered with the coming chapters. Like, the pregnancy, the mating, the mating bond, how Daniel was able to reject Claire when it is so rare. This story is different from most werewolf books. There are a whole other set of rules that come in to play here. I am only just scratching the surface of this story. It is FAR from over. 

Now I just want to send out a huge thank you to all my reader’s, my commenter’s and my voter’s. That you so much for the continued support! I couldn’t have reached #16 in werewolf without you.

 Please continue to do what you do best-comment and vote, and you’ll continue to get more chapters like these! Let's see if we can get 500 votes and 100 comments on this chapter. NOT a requirement, just a goal for fun. 

Song of the chapter, Shinedown- Second Chance >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>