Chapter 10

I didn’t sleep well. The memories I had tried to suppress deep in my subconscious resurfaced over night and the dull wounds left from Daniels wake felt entirely too fresh for me. Instead of it being more than a week ago since I was broken it felt just like yesterday.

I screamed and clutched my chest. My soul was being torn apart all over again as the vivid dream played through my mind like a movie on repeat.

Somewhere in my mind I think I knew it was merely a dream, but I could not find my way back to reality. I was lost in my own mind with no one to bring me out of my suffering.

He rejects us, my wolf whispered. He chose another mate.

My wolf whimpered at the new realization and I wished for anything that I could in some way console her, but I was just as broken as her. I felt weak and sick. I had to grab onto the counter just to keep my balance. Daniel became concerned, but didn’t move to help me.

“She’s pregnant. Jasmine is having our pups,” he said.

No.

The pain inside me was more excruciating than I could convey. It felt as if something inside me had been ripped out. Like my soul. I felt empty now. My body was nothing, but a wasteland. Noting of importance lied within me anymore. Without Daniel I was nothing but empty and broken.

I fell to the ground on my hands and knees and cried out in pain. I rocked back in forth, holding my arms tightly around myself as if it would prevent me from completely falling apart. However, it did nothing to hold me together. I was too far gone to be saved.

“Then, I guess there is nothing left to do, but make it official, is there?” The voice was right next to me. It was him. Kieran.

“Do it,” he ordered. “The faster you do this, the quicker she will heal. Put an end to her suffering.” He ordered.

I didn’t look up, but I took it by my mates silence he was taking Kieran’s’ words into consideration. He was thinking.

“I’m so sorry, Claire.” It was Daniel who spoke. And then he continued. “I Daniel Montgomery, Alpha of the Knight Shadow pack hereby reject you, Claire Warren as my mate and Luna of this pack. Your lies are no longer to this pack therefore you may leave upon your choosing. The decision is yours. ”

All the air left my lungs while I tried to gasp for air, but it didn’t work. I could no longer breathe. My head became dizzy.

He released me, from my pack and our bond. I truly had nothing now. I was alone, completely and one hundred percent.

I was disoriented and could not focus on anything anymore. Not voices, not people, not touch or anything. My senses were useless. With a loud cry my wolf let out within me she disappeared into nothingness. I could not feel her anymore nor could I myself. I was gone. Just like her.

Someone’s arms quickly wrapped around my shoulder and held me to them while I sobbed, letting my tears hit the floor until there was nothing left.

And then I disappeared, into a dark abyss.

“Claire.”

No. He left me. He left me again. I grabbed at my chest. I-I just….I can’t. It hurts to much.

“Claire.” Someone was shaking me vigorously.

Leave me alone. You left me. You broke me. Just go.

“Claire, you have to wake up. It’s just a dream.”

I felt disoriented. Who was talking? Where was that voice coming from? I’m lost in the dark.

Another wave of pain hit me in the chest and I screamed out. I clutched my chest even tighter willing it to stop. But it never did.

“You’re okay, I promise. Just open your eyes for me. You have to trust me.”

Trust me. Those words seemed so familiar and comforting. They were just enough to bring me, temporarily, out of my despair.

I felt a cool hand on my face, breaking through my subconscious. It was gently tapping my check.

I forced my eyes open letting the light seep in. I was in the familiar well lit room with a very worried looking Kieran hovering over top of me. It was then that I noticed I was also in his arms. He was holding me.

I was drenched in sweat. My clothes were wet, but he didn’t seem to mind it.

“W-what,” I started, but my throat was to dry to get out anything more.

“You’re burning up,” he said feeling of my forehead, watching me very carefully. “We should get you to see the doctor.”

“No,” I protested through a very strained voice. My throat was still dry and Kieran noticed that, especially when I placed my hand on it and winced. It felt like I had swallowed a box of lit matches and it burnt the inside of my throat.

I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I was so weak and frail. I was not fit to be a Luna right now and I didn’t want my pack seeing me this way. It would draw to much attention to me. Attention I didn’t want.

“Don’t argue with my on this. You need to be seen.”

“They’ll see me,” I said weakly.

He sighed and laid me down on the bed, and left the room. I panicked. Where did he go? Why did he leave me?

I was starting to sob again when he showed back up with a small yellow cup in his hand.

I can’t believe how insecure this rejection had made me. It didn’t feel good enough for anyone. Why would anyone want to even stay with me, especially Kieran? He seemed to be fairing much better than I was. Of course he had longer to cope with his rejection.

He slipped his hand under my head and gently raised me up. He brought the cup to my lips letting the cool liquid flow easily down my throat. It soothed the dry burning feeling inside. By the time I had finished the continents of the cup I felt better.

The pain was now just a dull ache in my chest, disappearing quickly.

Kieran took the cup away from my lips and I forced myself up in the bed. He didn’t remove his arm from around me even though I was in the setting position now. He still looked apprehensive to release me.

“I’m okay,” I said, noting how much better my throat felt this time when I spoke.

“You’re not,” he said. “It’s the dreams. They don’t just go away. This is far from over. I warned you about this, remember?”

He was staring at me intently as if trying to stress exactly how important that fact was for me.

“Yes,” I replied. “I remember.”

He stood up releasing me from his hold. Again I felt cold in his absence. “I’m going to get the pack doctor. He’ll give you something for your fever. No one has to see you if you don’t want them to.”

I nodded. I didn’t want them to. However, if he would come here then I would see him just to make Kieran happy. I knew that I would be fine, but Kieran didn’t seem to feel the same way. In the end, I knew he would do what he wanted to so arguing with him on it would get me nowhere.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon.”

He left the room and almost as soon as he did my pain started inching back up inside me. It wasn’t as painful as the dream, but it still hurt me.

I clenched my chest again and winced.

As Kieran promised, he was back only minutes later. Guilt washed over me when I saw Heath enter the room in his sleep robe. Had Kieran got him out of bed?

I looked over at the clock and felt even worse. Of, course he did. It was four a.m. I don’t think even the good doctor was up at these hours.

He smiled to me kindly when saw me sitting on the bed and made his way over to me. He took a seat in the empty spot in front of me, placing his black bag beside him. “It’s nice to see you again, Claire. I hate it’s under these circumstances though.”

Kieran raised an eyebrow to us, but didn’t question our friendship. Instead he remind silent and kept his eyes on Heath watching everything he did.

Heath placed a thermometer under my tongue and began checking me over as he waited for it to beep. He checked my pulse and then took a look at the veins in my arm trying to determine something then checked my eyes and ears. After he pulled the thermometer out he asked me to open my mouth and checked my throat.

Soon he came to a conclusion.

“Well, she’s not sick,” he said placing his things back inside the bad he brought. “She’s a bit dehydrated though.” After his stuff was packed away he turned back to Kieran and me with a bemused expression. “As for the fever,” he began, “I’m not too sure about. I don’t know what could be causing it. Maybe if you tell me what happened before I got here that will help me in figuring out what’s wrong.”

My eyes shifted to Kieran who was standing above me with a grave expression on his face. He only looked at me briefly before making eye contact with Heath.

“It’s the dreams,” he answered him.

Recognition passed over him. Heath looked back at me with sympathy.”So that’s it,” he mumbled.

“Can you give her something for it?”Kieran asked though he already told me before there was only one thing that could help me.

The doctor looked despondent and sighed. “I’m afraid not. I can prescribe some strong sleeping pills, but what with our bodies running warmer than normal it would burn off before the night was over.”

“Then what do you suggest?”I asked hoping he’d have another solution.

 “Well, it’s not a going to completely cure you of your dreams, but it will keep the pain out of them. They won’t be able to get to you anymore.”

“The claim,” I said already knowing what he would say.

He nodded. “Yes, the claim.”

“You helped Kieran with this didn’t you?” I asked him.

He shot me another sympathetic look before standing from the bed and answering me. “Yes and one other couple. Your situation is very rare; there are very few people who take on other mates. Unfortunately, it happens though. It’s more common in wolves that have lost their mate to some unfortunate circumstance, like a war or illness. That is if they survive the loss.”

“You know someone else who has gone through it though,” I stated.

“Yes, there is a couple in the pack who lost their mates and the dreams were the same. The only difference is, they would feel the pain of their mate’s death all over again, instead of a rejection.”

I sat silently. I suppose that would be much worse than a rejection. Though a rejection is much like death. You still grieved the same way. You grieve for the loss off your mate. However, I wasn’t mated to Daniel. That would have destroyed me completely. I doubt I could have survived it.

“They were able to overcome it though and they are happy again?” I asked.

“They are,” he confirmed. “They have been mated for the past ten years. Seeing them, you wouldn’t know they weren’t true mates. The bond is strong between them. But it’s even stronger in Alpha’s,” he said looking between us.

He already saw the question in my eyes and continued to explain.

“An Alpha is a leader. The decisions they make are final and respected. When an Alpha marks a she-wolf it is not only acknowledged by the pack, but by your souls as well. Your souls will be the first to accept it, even before your wolves. Though they will come around come around and respect your decision as well. They can’t fight the bond. Eventually they will want and need to mate which will become overpowering and you will complete the mating process soon after.”

Another question came to mind.

“How did my mate not suffer as much as I did after the rejection?” I asked. “Wouldn’t the pain be the same for him?”

Heath shook his head. “Normally that would be so, but from what I have gathered from Alpha Kieran the circumstance is different. Most wolves will always wait on their mate. They do not form relationships with other wolves. Of course there are some impatient ones who can’t wait that long.”

Daniel, I thought to myself.

 “There is something called soul intertwining. It comes when two wolves, who aren’t mates, cohabit, and their wolves grow used to each other and their souls start bonding. It doesn’t serve the same purpose as marking another wolf. However it’s enough to confuse your wolf and soul.  Wolves who aren’t mates are not meant to live together as a couple, so this causes problems when one of them finds their mate.”

Everything was starting to come together and make sense now. That’s why Daniel found it so easy to reject me. His soul was intertwined with Jasmines. That’s why he was confused and didn’t know what to do when he found me.

“In a way, I guess you could say his wolf was brain washed,” he finished.

He must have done a lot of research on mates to know so much about this. Maybe after he helped that other couple he felt the need to learn more incase anymore of these situations arise; like ours.

Kieran remained silent and unsurprised. I guess the good doctor had already shared this information with him prior to tonight.

When Heath left, Kieran and I sat in a comfortable silence on the bed. Neither of us really knew what to say that hadn’t already been said. After forcing me to drink two more cups of water, he finally let me lay back down to sleep.

The clock showed five-thirty a.m. and I was growing tired again. Although I was sleepy, I was too scared to go to sleep; afraid the dream might make an appearance again. I wasn’t ready for that again so soon.

It was nearly six a.m. when Kieran turned the lamp off by the bed, letting the natural light from daybreak seep in between the curtains, and started back to his bed.  I quickly caught his hand before he was out of reach bringing him to a halt beside me. He seemed surprised by my gesture.

“Can you just stay here with me until I fall asleep?” I asked him. “Maybe you can keep the dreams away.”

I needed him, but I didn’t like how weak I sounded asking him to stay. I hated to appear weak. I hated to relay on anyone. I was independent. That’s how I had always been. It was what separated me from my pack. No one was like me in that way. However, right here and right now, I couldn’t have been more vulnerable since the day I was rejected.

The surprise on his face never wore off, but nodded his head. “I’ll stay.”

I couldn’t have been more relieved when he agreed. He rounded the other side of the bed and got in next to me. His arm gently draped over my side as we faced each other.

Sleep finally made its way over me again before the morning finally settled in. Kieran didn’t take his eyes off of me the entire time I was awake. Through his eyes, I could see some of the pain and hurt he had been hiding from me all this time. The eyes are the windows to the soul after all.

Just before I drifted off into a peaceful, dreamless, state of sleep, I felt Kieran’s cool fingertips brushing a strand of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear carefully. The sound of his steady breathing put me completely at ease.

It was after ten o’clock before I woke up again. Unlike yesterday morning when I woke up alone, I found myself tangled up in Kieran’s muscular arms. They definitely weighed as much as they looked. He was putting so much pressure on my stomach causing my bladder to nearly burst. I struggled under his weight.

When I finally managed to unwrap his arms from me, it caused him to stir and eventually wake. He groggily rubbed his eyes and ran hand through his tousled hair before giving me a sheepish grin. I smiled at how innocent and cute he looked first waking up in the morning. Right now, he was the spitting image of a little boy who stayed up way past his bed time and had to get up early.

I giggle at him unable to help it and caused him to frown.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I lied, worried he might be upset if I told him.

His frown deepened at my words. “Tell me,” he ordered. It wasn’t in his Alpha tone, but I could see he was serious and didn’t plan on letting it go.

“Has anyone told you how cute you are when you sleep?” I giggled again.

Just as I suspected he did not seem pleased by that. He crossed his arms over his chest looking upset. “Alpha’s are not cute,” he stated. “We’re strong and intimidating.”

“We’ll I guess you’re an exception to the rule,” I smiled.

He grumbled a few words under his breath the even I, a wolf, couldn’t make out and stood up from the bed. He was in a short sleeve shirt and a pair of basketball shorts and even in that, he still looked very good. 

I blushed at my own thought. Thankfully Kieran had noticed me do that. He was already across the room pulling some clothes out of the closet.

I quickly took my leave to use the restroom before he took it over to go shower. I did my morning routine and after I had done everything I needed to I let him have the bathroom.

We didn’t spend much time talking since as soon as he was out of the shower I took mine.  I took my time getting ready for the day. Kieran had already left out to do who knows what and I was left alone in the room.

I checked my phone again to see if Jennifer had called me back yet, but disappointment quickly washed over me when I saw that she hadn’t. Maybe she had decided to disown me since I left the pack. It might have been one of Daniels rules. Though, that was probably just me over thinking it a little. I don’t believe he would go that far, even for him.

Minutes seemed like hours due to my boredom. I hadn’t really made any friends here yet except Keely and Lana, so I didn’t know what to do with my day. With them both school, Lana in college and Keely in high school, I didn’t have anyone to hang out with. I felt kind of lonely. On that thought, I decided to roam the territory to try to make some more friends and get to know my pack a little better.

I spent the earlier part of the afternoon talking with the pack members. I could happily say that I had made more friendships. Well, friends might be a bit presumptuous. More like potential friends.

Around the latter part of the evening I found myself by the lake Kieran had showed me yesterday. It was just a beautiful as it was then. I decided to dip my feet in the cool water to relax me.

I was feeling much better than I was this morning and I didn’t feel like I had a fever anymore, so that was good. Right now, I mostly felt at ease.

I got a little depressed when I saw a few passing wolves running through the woods, wishing that was me. With my wolf still being MIA shifting wasn’t an option for me. Even though I rarely let her out to run, I started to realize, you never know how much you miss something until it’s gone- that being my wolf. I still held on to the hope that when Kieran and I mate she’ll come back to me. I really needed her.

After a few minutes of enjoying the water, my eyes found the path that Kieran and I had traveled some of the way yesterday when showing me the boarders. But we didn’t get to finish the hike. Me, being the curious person I am, decided to get up and follow it to see where it came out this time. It wasn’t like I had a lot to anyway. With Wyatt still running the pack it wasn’t like I was needed very much yet. So why not enjoy the time I have, while I have it?

With my shoes in hand, I took off on an exploration. The dirt and grass under my feet felt good. I felt close to nature. My wolf would have loved it. If I would let her, she would spend hours getting lost in the woods just for enjoyment of it. I’ll have to remember to let her do that some time, providing I get the chance.

It was starting to get dark. The sky was twilight so my human eyes could still see the forest in front of me. At some point I had wondered off the trail. I’m not really sure when, but now I was just wondering around aimlessly through the thick greenery and trees of the woods.

I was lost, I knew that much, but I wasn’t scared. I had been lost in the woods dozens of times as a kid so this was something I was used to. I always managed to find my way out somehow though. I’ll just have to do that again. It shouldn’t be too hard.

I continued to hike around a little longer, searching for the path that would lead me back to the house, when I heard a shuffling noise nearby. I took a sniff of the air to see if I could get a whiff of what it was but couldn’t pick up anything other than the scent of the forest. 

I didn’t get very far when I heard it again, though this time, something had changed. It was louder and I was picking up on an animal smell, a wolf.

Maybe Kieran had sent one of his pack members out to look for me since I hadn’t made it back yet. I was internally cursing myself for not brining my cell phone now. If he called me and I didn’t answer, he would be worried and come looking for me.

A low growl sounded throughout the woods and bounced off the trees. The wolf was right behind me, I could smell it easily. It was not a smell I recognized though and that worried me.

Another growl came from the wolf, only this one was a little louder. It was clear this wolf was neither friendly nor part of my new pack. I didn’t know what my next move should be. Running was not an option since that is one of the stupidest things someone could do in this situation. It only sent them on a chase and angered them. Most didn’t survive when they were eventually caught.

“Who are you and what are you doing on my land?” A deep male voice asked with much authority. I knew by the way he spoke he was an Alpha.

I slowly turned around to face him trying to hide my fear and it was my fear that kept me from speaking. His eyes studied me closely and when I didn’t answer he growled.

I flinched. It was hard to concentrate with the naked male wolf in front of me. I tried to stay focused on his eyes. I’m sure he could see how embarrassing this was for me.

“I-I’m Claire. I’m from The Perilous Pack. I came onto your land by accident. I got lost,” I explained when I found my voice.

He was still scrutinizing me, but his features relaxed slightly. He didn’t seem as intimidating now. 

“I know Kieran and I am familiar with The Perilous Pack, though I don’t recall seeing you before,” he stated crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m new,” I answered. “I just joined a couple of days ago.”

He took a whiff of the air and nodded. “You do have their scent. It’s still off though. Who was your previous pack?”

“Night Shadow.”

He seemed surprised. “Daniel Montgomery’s Pack?”

I nodded in confirmation.

“You’re the wolf everyone is talking about?”

I furrowed my eyebrows up at him. I didn’t mask my confusion. “People are talking about me?”

“Word spread like wildfire when people found out what happened between you and your mate. No one has ever heard of an Alpha doing what he did. It’s caused a bit of friction between his pack and their allies. They have been marked as a weak pack and have lost a lot of respect. A pack is only as strong as it’s Alpha.”

I was surprised. How had so many people heard about that so quickly? I was only rejected a week and a half ago and I had been in Kieran’s pack a fourth of that time. How fast that Daniel had caused so much trouble for himself in that amount of time was unfathomable.

“Come on, I’ll see you back to your land,” he offered kindly. I could see it in his eyes that the held a certain amount of sympathy over what happened.

“Wait, does anyone know the rest of the story?”

“No one knows where you are if that’s what you mean. It makes sense that you would come here though.”

I felt confused by that. “It does?”

“Yeah, the two rejected mates banning together for the greater good. The hurt, helping the hurt. Kieran had the right idea bring you to his side.”

I nodded though I was surprise by having his support. Did others support us as well?   

When we got to our packs borders there were five wolves waiting there for me there, Kieran was not among them. There were a few lights on post scattered around close by that helped my human eyes see at night and that I was thankful for. I hadn’t been able to hold onto all of my superhuman senses with the loss of my wolf-my night vision being one of them. It was considerably weakened.

 The Alpha who I had met in the woods was in his wolf form a few feet in front of me. It seemed the pack members knew him as they bowed their heads in acknowledgment.

Leland was the first to speak. “Sawyer,” he said politely watching the wolf. His eyes then moved to mine. He looked worried and a little upset. It mirrored the rest of the wolves’ faces. This was nothing like the laidback, teasing, Leland from last night. He was so serious and concerned now.

I felt bad I had caused all of this. Guilt was eating away at me. They probably would have been looking for me all night if I hadn’t showed back up.

There seemed to be some unspoken words between him and Leland then Sawyer was gone.

“Kieran has been looking everywhere for you. He didn’t know what happened to you. He’s really upset,” Leland spoke.

I imagined he would be. I needed to find him and explain what happened.

“I am to see you back to the pack house,” Dorian, the third in command said tersely. He was strait forward and very reserved. In the two days that I had been here I hadn’t seen him crack a smile once. I mean Wyatt was beta and he wasn’t even this uptight.

I walked beside Dorian and Leland followed along to the pack house. Neither of them saying anything to me or each other, the atmosphere was kind of tense. I honestly didn’t think I’d caused this much trouble. I felt like I was on my way to the principal’s office to be punished for something I didn’t know was wrong.

This feeling was foreign to me. No one, other than my parents, really cared or paid attention to what I did in my pack; not even Alpha Daniel before he knew we were mates. Though things were kind of lax in my pack, which was the difference.

I hope Kieran isn’t to upset that I trespassed onto other Alpha’s land.

When we arrived at the house Dorian and Leland escorted me to the office where Wyatt and Kieran were waiting with relived looks. After they explained I had showed up just after he left them, he quickly dismissed them and closed us up inside his office. I was surprised by how concerned both of them were.

“I was worried,” was the first thing that came from Kieran’s mouth. He was standing less than two feet in front of me. He barely gave me any room to move. “Why did you wonder off?”

I sighed. This thing has really been blown out of proportion. It was a simple accident, that’s all. No one was hurt because of it.

“I was on the trail we took yesterday and I went a little too deep into the woods and got lost. I accidently wound up on Alpha Sawyers land.”

He frowned. “That’s why I showed you the borders yesterday so you would know. You’re lucky Sawyer and I are on good terms or this could have turned out a lot differently.”

“I know that, but I didn’t realize where I was in until it was too late.”

He let out a heave sigh and leaned on his desk in front of me giving me more breathing room. “Look, I know you’re not used to how things work around here, but I can assure you it is nothing like Night Shadow pack.” My old pack sounded distasteful coming from him. “They are too careless. We keep better tabs on our members and, especially the Luna, than they do. I want you feel comfortable here, but roaming that far into the woods can’t happen again, at least not alone. If you’re not sure about where you’re going then ask someone. If a rogue happened to have crossed over where you were today, you would have been gone.”

I swallowed nervously. I didn’t realized house serious this really was. Oddly enough, none of those things entered my mind before. I didn’t really know how to begin apologizing to him.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Next time I’ll stay more in the open. I was just curious that’s all. It won’t happen again.”

Maybe that will put his mind at ease.

Wyatt seemed to be impressed with how Kieran handled the situation with me and looked pleased. It seemed he was noticing the same thing I was. Kieran was getting his wolf and Alpha mode back.

Kieran studied me for a minute until he seemed satisfied with my answer and visibly relaxed. That’s when I did as well. I don’t like these tense moments with Kieran. I liked the more easygoing side to him. The friendly one I met in the diner.

That seems like so long ago now. That week of my life I spent in bed was the slowest one I had ever endured. It felt more like a month than a week. I owed that to all my suffering I suppose. No one said it would be quick and easy.

“You missed dinner with the pack. So I’ll make you something if you’d like.”

I smirked at him finally able to loosen up a little now. “Really, you’re going to try that again? Didn’t you learn from the first time?”

He didn’t smile at first until he noticed I wasn’t losing mine and broke into a wide grin.

“Okay, then. We’ll go out.”

I shook my head. “That’s alright, it’s already late now. I’ll just find something in the kitchen to munch on.”

He was already grabbing his keys off the desk and headed to the door not even listening to me. It was clear to see he had already made up his mind and there was no changing it.

“I missed it to and I’m hungry, so come on, we’re going,” he stated holding the door to the office open for me to exit the room.

Of course he did. I kept him occupied looking for me. He was organizing a search party to find me. I noted the area map lying on his face up on his desk with perimeters marked off.

Wyatt grinned at me. “There is no need to argue with him. He always wins.”

I’m sure he does. He’s an Alpha after all.  

I relented seeing no need to fuss about it nodded. I guess I could go for some spaghetti.  I wonder if Kieran knows of good place that serves some.

“Fine let’s go,” I said being the first one out the door.

He didn’t follow directly after me; he paused at the door for a moment looking back a Wyatt who already knew what he was going to ask. He quickly motioned him out the door. 

“I have things here. Go have fun. You both deserve it.”

And that was all he needed to hear to be excused. Before I knew it, we were out the door and in one of Kieran’s posh sports cars and down speeding down the road entirely over the speed limit. I found myself enjoying the pace.

I guess Wyatt was right; we really could use a timeout from everything for an evening.

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A/N

I hope everything is coming together nicely. I wrote chapters nine and ten back to back before publishing them so, hopefully everything is making sense.

I’m getting so excited about this book. I just can’t quit writing chapters for it. I’m so excited to bring out more characters and for you to learn more about the ones already introduced.  Lot’s more to come!

And for those of you wanting some Drama and Kieran moments….I can’t wait for you read to read chapter 11 and 12; which are already written by the way.

 P.S. Check previous chapters for pictures of the cast.

Please- Comment….Vote….And Follow! :)