╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮
"Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
And it takes me all the way
And I want you to stay"
•Stay; Rihanna•
╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

"You can't leave on your own."Jesus hissed in hushed whisper.

Jolene had just finished telling him of her plan to leave in the night - her plan to head up north. Besides the fact that Jesus didn't think she should be by herself, the man just did not want her to leave at all.

"I have to, Jesus. The guilt of everything is far too much for me to deal with. Leaving won't take that away but not having to see the faces of the people I have hurt every day will certainly help." Jolene looked down at her lap for a moment before she allowed Jesus to gently tuck his knuckles beneath her chin. He raised her head just enough to meet her gaze before speaking.

"They don't blame you." He told her, his voice soft and full of concern.

"You didn't lose the man you loved because of my stupidity. You can't say that to me." Jolene cried softly, turning her head to the side and removing herself from his grasp. She knew the guilt would consistently eat away at her from the inside out. The sounds of Maggie screaming and crying for her husband, the father of her unborn child, ravaged her mind and occupied it every single night since it happened.

Jesus sighed. He raised his hands in defeat, agreeing silently that he would leave it alone. He sat there with her, though, providing comfort in his existence until the noise of a throat clearing behind them. Jolene turned slowly, eyeing Daryl who looked cleaner than she had ever seen him.

"Yer turn." He told her, shifting to sit in the chair nestled in the corner of the room. He shoved his feet back into the boots and tied them tight before moving to pull the jacket on over his bare arms but not before Jolene eyed him up. She was a woman, after all. One with eyes, too. Daryl was built extremely....extremely well.

No. Jolene knew she had to stop thinking of his arms so she quickly shook her head. She gathered  her bag and gave Jesus a nod before quickly making her way into the foyer.

The silence between Daryl and Jesus was comfortable. Jesus remained on the couch, drumming his fingertips against the cushion beside him, the spot that Jolene had only just vacated moments prior. The material was still warm from her thighs pressing down against it and the feeling it provided him had him so swept up in it that he almost didn't hear Daryl coming up behind him.

"Ye gon' let her leave?"

"She is a grown woman who makes her own choices, Daryl. I cannot stop her if she wants to leave."

Daryl quickly occupied the spot that Jolene had left vacant, lungs itching for a cigarette and liver crying out for some liquor. After the last few days, the need to unwind was pestering the man something fierce. He stayed silent for a while, grunting a thank you when Jesus handed over a piece of jerky. Daryl inhaled the dried meat and allowed his eyes to fall shut for a moment as he relished the feeling of a full stomach. The dry, smoked flavor helped his tongue forget the taste of the dog food Dwight had fed him.

"Be stupid to let her leave." He finally spoke, glancing over to the man seated beside him.

"Like I said, she's a grown woman. I can't hold her against her will. That would make me no different than Negan." Jesus stood up, patting Daryl's knee as he ventured out of the room, leaving Daryl alone to stew in his thoughts.

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

After showering, Jolene had crept around the downstairs room to fill her bag with little things that Jesus had laid out for her. It wasn't much, but she had faith that she would be able to scavenge for more once she got further out from Alexandria.

She did not have an exact destination in mind. North was the only destination she had thought of so far and there was a small idea in the back of her head that she would just figure it all out when she got there. Maybe the north wasn't as ravaged as the south. Maybe the people - the survivors - would keep her safe from Negan and his saviors.

Wishful thinking...

It was getting close to midnight as Jolene finally packed up what she could and slipped out of the front door. The crickets chirping brought a soothing sensation to her soul, the one thing she would miss about the south. The quiet nights. The only time she had ever been far up north was for a family vacation when she was a baby - she had no recollection of it so those memories were of no help to her now.

It seemed like everyone was asleep, and after talking with Jones - the guard atop the front gate - he would let her out no questions asked, locking up behind her in the dead of night. A quick veer off to the right, Jolene found the motor bike Jesus left out for her, alongside a carton of siphoned gas for her to fill up on when she got low. Jolene felt the gratitude blossom deep in her chest, but it quickly turned to sadness when she realized she would probably never see these people again.

While the group had welcomed her with open arms - most of them anyway - she could not face her mistakes. The guilt and shame was too much for her to handle day in and day out, the only viable option was to leave. So that's what she is doing. It would be better for everyone, she thought so anyway.

With the backpack secure around her shoulders, Jolene grabbed onto the handlebars and slowly pushed the kickstand up so she could start walking the bike towards the gate. Unshed tears lined her big, round eyes as she thought back on everything she had been through - everything that she could have also stopped.

"Where you goin'?"

The rough voice brought her out of her own thoughts as she was just about a few feet away from the gate.

Daryl stepped out from the shadows, chewing at the dead skin around his thumb nail before spitting out whatever he had in his mouth. His footsteps were concise, slow and steady, as he made his way to the bike. His foot lifted from the ground and firmly pressed his boot into the front tire.

"Leavin'." She responded, not in the mood to give him the whole itinerary she had created in her mind. "Going to drive as far North as I can make it."

"No ya ain't." Daryl scoffed, "Ya won't make it out there alone. Don't be stupid."

All she could see was red. Deep, dark red. Red like the blood escaping Glenn's head after Negan broke his skull open with Lucille. It was her fault. Glenn and Abraham were dead and she blamed herself. She had been delusional when she made herself believe that all of the saviors, their leader especially, had been destroyed. If only she had spoken up, if only she had been there - she would have known.

"Daryl, please. Get out of my way. I'm leaving, and you're going to let me." Jolene pushed forward, shoulders moving forward as she tried to use her strength against him. He had barely budged, though a small smirk was beginning to form on his lips as he watched her struggle. It was obvious he was getting a kick out of this.

"I ain't lettin' ya leave. I heard it all, about what you said, that all of this is your fault. Don't be so fuckin' stupid." He snapped, moving his foot and stepping to the side so Jolene would propel forward. She lost her footing but Daryl quickly grabbed onto the handle bar infront of him and moved the bike off to the side so he could stand between Jolene and her only way out of here.

"You walk out these walls, you're dead. Done. Negan will find you before you make it anywhere up North." Daryl told her, arms coming up to cross over his chest as he watched her eye begin twitching in anger.

Her hands pressed firmly against the his chest as she tried to push him. Again, he barely budged under her attempt to move him.

"I can take care of myself. I survived before all of this shit. I survived and I don't need you to tell me otherwise." The anger was bubbling up in her chest, butterflies fluttering in her stomach as the confrontation made her body pump out nothing but adrenaline.

"Barely. Ya barely survived by yourself. Here's the thing, ya don't have to risk it. Do ya even have a weapon?" Daryl rolled his head side to side, cracking and arching the bones in his neck as he released a soft grunt. "I used to think like you, it ain't worth it. Just-" he paused when he spotted the tears rolling free down her cheeks now. The feeling of regret for being so harsh rolled through him, pins and needles prickling each fingertip as he watched her rub furiously at her face with the backs of her hands.

"Stay."

Jolene adverted her eyes to the ground between them. The emotions swirling inside of her were too much - regret, shame, confusion, and a hint of something else. Something she couldn't put a name to. She felt it deep in the pit of her stomach as she looked up at Daryl and heard him tell her to stay.

"Rick is coming. We'll work through this. Together because there ain't no way this is over anytime soon."

"Stronger in numbers and all that, huh?" Jolene sniffled again, wiping the wet tracks of her tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of the flannel Jesus had given to her to wear earlier.

"Yeah, somethin' like that." Daryl nodded.

Jolene nodded and kicked absently at the dirt beneath her feet. She then glanced back up to Daryl, lifting the edge of her flannel up to show him she had a gun on one hip and a knife on the other.

"By the way, I ain't that stupid."