Julia

Heather, Carlene, and Zoey arrived not long after the phone call about Lawrence.

Moose, Cody, and Jake had also tagged along, telling Jagger that they would take him to the hospital and he shouldn't be alone.

I called Moose—I needed Jagger to be alright.

In all honesty, I knew Jagger didn't want to leave Jubilee, but I pushed him out the door.

This was something no one was anticipating.

Hugging my husband goodbye, I turned to see the three women who were more like family to me than my own blood as they crowded around Jubilee.

"Julia...she's...wow.." Heather cried, "You're a mom..."

Carlene sighed, "She's so cute. Look at that hair!"

Zoey smiled at me, "Spoiled already?"

I nodded, "When she wakes up, you're going to have to flip a coin or something because I won't be the one to make the decision who holds her first."

I tried so hard to enjoy this moment with my friends.

Fran hadn't even seen Jubilee in person yet, nor had Lawrence.

Jagger

"Jubil a cutie," Cody said, sitting in the back with Jake, "I'm sorry about this, Jagger."

I cringed, "My father's a selfish son of a bitch"

Moose shrugged, "Let's get there and see what happened. Maybe it was an accident."

"Happen a lot," Jake added, "Friend of mine shot his toe off cleaning his pistol."

"Thought you said Dave was drunk?"

"Still an accident."

We arrived at the hospital as my mother came rushing out of the ER entrance and into my arms.

Diaz was close behind.

"Your aunt Deb has the girls! Oh, Jagger.."

"Where is he? Is he..is he...?"

I held my mother who also held me and I couldn't bring myself to ask her the question.

"No, he's not...he's..."

Diaz breathed in heavily, "He's sedated, but...listen...why don't we go in and let you see him? I'm sure the doctor.."

"Why can I see him? I thought he shot..where did he?"

"He shot himself in the chest," Mom said as we entered the hospital, "It missed his heart by an inch."

By an inch..

An inch..

I gave my name and acquired a visitor's badge as the guys and Diaz settled into the waiting room.

"Mr. Hayes? Francesca Hayes?"

A nurse appeared, smiling and waving us back.

"Senior Hayes is awake now, but he's still groggy," she told us, "I'm Melanie and this is the surgeon, Dr. Peters, who operated on Lawrence."

I shook hands with him as Mom linked her arm with mine.

"What's the damage?"

"He's going to be fine," Peters said, "Physically, that is. We...haven't necessarily been able to speak with him except for the fact that we know he shot himself because...well, he called us."

"He called?"

"Looks like he had a change of heart."

He lead us to my father's room where the bastard was sitting there, staring off into space.

"Thanks, doc...and thanks for saving his life," I grumbled, even though I didn't know if I meant it or not.

My father stared blankly at me and then at my mother who was by his side.

"You're a piece of shit. You expect me to feel fucking sorry for you after what you've put us through? Why didn't you just finish the job?" I growled as my mother sobbed.

"Jagger.."

"NO!" I screamed, "Why, Dad?! Why couldn't you even do THAT right?!"

My father turned away and swallowed hard, turning back to me and shaking his head, "I didn't want to see them anymore."

Mom placed a hand on his and waited for me to join them, but I held back.

"Tell me what's happening," I said, "Before I pull a gun on you myself—I won't miss."

Dad cleared his throat and closed his eyes.

I thought maybe he'd drifted off, but then he began:

"I was going to a shrink in another town. I didn't want my friends to know—the family. Only you all did. I don't know why, but I thought I could manage it. The medicine didn't work and I was tired—so damn tired. So tired of hearing things that weren't there, seeing things that weren't there..wondering why I was so damn useless as a husband and a father. I just wanted to do what was right for you and the kids and your mother—and even my granddaughter. If I wasn't here then you all would be better off. I haven't divorced your mother because of the life insurance plan—even on my life—even if I go out like that, she gets it all and so do you and your sisters and any of my grandchildren."

I watched him. I knew he was telling the truth.

"Dad, there are different doctors, different medications..."

"I don't know any other way! It's just gotten worse, son!"

I nodded, "Some days aren't good, but dammit! I fucking need you! Jass and Jo need you and Jubilee needs you! You have never been the type to give up so why now?"

"I'm...a burden to you."

"What do I tell my daughter, Dad? What if you hadn't have missed tonight? You haven't even held her yet!"

I didn't even realize I was shaking, sobbing, my head hurt, my heart was shattered.

"You've promised to get help before and you got it," I stammered, choking on my own words, "If I have to commit you MYSELF, you're not pulling this shit again!"

I was by his side in a flash, "Dad, I understand you—and you understand me. That's how we're going to get through this—together."

I hadn't hugged my father in years and there we were—holding each other like I had when I was a mere child.

"I'm so sorry...Jagger..I'm so damn sorry.."

I don't know how long that hug lasted, but I heard him snoring softly and realized Mom was gone.

"I'm not leaving you, Dad....we've got this.."

I stood up to fetch the nurse to make sure my father's vitals were alright when suddenly I reached the door and heard him say:

"I hope you know how proud I am of you, son...I always have been."