Edward is gone.

He left.

He told me he didn't love me. But worst of all they are all gone, all of them.

My family, my best friend, my mate.

I don't know how to go on.

Lately I have been like a zombie. I am even paler than normal, I am deathly thin and my face looks haunted. I know that I am worrying Charlie. I overheard a phone call to Rene, him pleading for her help with his broken daughter.

I picked at the purple comforter on my bed. "Edward" I whisper. I look up knowing he isn't there, he only appears when I am in danger. "I'm sorry." I cry "I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you. But you are destroying me" my voice raises in frustration. Frustrated at myself for making Jacob hide from me with Sam, for putting off school, but most of all for hurting Charlie.

"I'm done" standing up quickly I trip over the floor. "Damn loose boards" I walk at a brisk pace down the stairs, where my dad is sitting at the counter reading today's news. His face is almost identical to mine. How many sleepless nights have I caused him?

I take a breath and walk up to him and embrace him in a hug. "Bella! You frightened me there for a sec" he looks at me surprised. "I'm so sorry daddy" the tears fall for the second time in thirty minutes.

"Oh, no don't apologize baby" he says a little awkwardly. He pulls me into a tight hug.

"But I do need to apologize" I pull back and wipe a falling tear with the back of my hand. "I've put you through hell these past few months. I've caused you to lose sleep. I didn't mean for you to worry. And to think this is all over a...bb..boy" I struggle calling Edward a boy and trying to convince my father of the insignificance of my love for Edward.

"Listen to me right now" he says sternly placing his hand on my cheek "you are worth the worry. One day when you have kids you will know that worrying comes with the kid and don't try to tell me it's just a boy. You are not your mother and I. You have a big heart. A heart that cares deeply and I know that you loved him. I do." He looks at me with my eyes.

"Thank you" I kiss his forehead. "Do you want pasta tonight?" I ask trying to get the old Bella back.

"Sounds perfect" Charlie responds.

Later I head up stairs, dinner was a success and I am exhausted. I go to climb in bed not carrying that I am still in the same clothes, when I again trip over the stupid floor. "What the..."

I kneel down to further inspect the wood. The tile that I tripped on appears to be loose. I pull up the wood. Underneath is Edward. All the pictures, all my birthday gifts. Proof, proof that they existed.

I grab an empty box from under my bed and throw all the stuff from the floor in it. What better place to bury the past then where my future was supposed to begin. Our meadow.