Chào các bạn! Vì nhiều lý do từ nay Truyen2U chính thức đổi tên là Truyen247.Pro. Mong các bạn tiếp tục ủng hộ truy cập tên miền mới này nhé! Mãi yêu... ♥

Logline for Shivran86

The Question: Does this logline contain enough "spoilers"?

Logline: After the successful marriage of his Senāpati, Rājan must now focus on rebuilding the broken relationships around him. Including the one with a reborn soul.

My answer: This is short and snappy, and yes it is a proper logline. So, this is good. However, I'm missing not so much the spoilers, but the stakes. With that I mean, what happens if Rajan does NOT rebuild the broken relationships around him. 

I also wonder whether we need the bit with the successful marriage of the Senapati. Now, perhaps the audience know what a Senapati is, and what this means, but for me it was a bit - unclear. 

I see two variations. 

A) After the sucessful marriage of his Senāpati, Rajan either rebuilds/mends the broken relationships (in his family, among his friends - I would be more specific here as well) or X happens. Or doesn't happen. And that includes the (describe relationship) with an unborn soul.

B) To prevent X, Rajan must mend the broken relationships (where) . And that includes the (his? if it is his describe what relationship is love/liaison) with an unborn soul).

Now, this will need more permutations, but I think it is a good start. Can iterate via the comments, if you like.


Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro