I watched with a smile on my face as my nephew pushed toy cars along the wooden flooring in Ryan's living room. Zach had grown up so quickly and I almost resented myself for missing five months of his life by being in America.

Ryan and Stacey were still together and in love, and I struggled to recall a time I'd ever seen Ryan so happy, or with his life so put together. It seemed like he had it all, and now, I was by myself again, starting back at the bottom.

"Do you miss him?" Ryan asked, following me into the kitchen to clear up after our meal.

"Who?" I replied, stacking the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Damon."

I paused to think about how to answer my brother's question. Blur and their music was everywhere, I had no choice but to come face to face with Damon every day, whether it was hearing his voice on the radio or seeing his blue eyes looking right at me on a poster on a bus shelter on my way home from work.

I couldn't really miss him, since he was never really gone. He was everywhere. But did I miss the Damon that I knew? The one that surprised me with flowers and stroked my hair as I fell asleep? I suppose that was the question Ryan was asking.

"No."

I wasn't sure whether I was lying or not, but truthfully, I didn't want to think about it. I had seen enough heartbreak for a while, and thinking back to how being with Damon made me feel, and then how it ended, was a pain that I didn't want to relive if I could avoid it.

"You seem happier, you know, you do."

Ryan smiled at me, the two of us sitting on the counter tops.

"Really?"

"Really." He nodded, "I always thought since you were young that you're better by yourself. So independent, headstrong, all that. I never really worried about you with anything, I always knew you'd be fine no matter what."

Ryan was right. I'd always been happiest on my own, for the most part. I enjoyed my own company, liked to do things at my own pace, on my own terms. Ryan was a lot like me, but he'd happened to meet Stacey, who he didn't mind sharing his life with. I just hadn't found my person yet.

"You like being in charge don't you, always have." Ryan said, the two of us sharing a laugh, "Only time I think I've ever seen you happier is..."

He trailed off, bowing his head before looking out of the window.

"Is when?" I pried.

He turned to look at me, forcing a laugh.

"When I told you David fancied you."

I slapped Ryan on the arm, both of us laughing at one another like children. I knew his response was a lie, but I didn't want to dig any deeper.

I stayed for a little while longer until Stacey put Zachary to bed. The three of us had a glass of wine before I decided it was time for me to get home.

I'd been so grateful for how much Ryan and Stacey had tried to keep me occupied since I got back from America. Once I told them what had happened, they'd constantly been inviting me round, Stacey asking me to go shopping with her, or go with her to take Zach to the park. I was glad I had them as my family, I knew they'd always be there when I needed.

After saying goodbye to Ryan and Stacey, I headed out into the night. I still hadn't quite got used to the fact that that wasn't my home anymore.

I walked in the direction of town, cutting through the canals and sidestreets, not wanting to get caught up in the Friday night hustle and bustle in the city.

I ended up by my old office building, turning a corner and seeing the welcoming glow of The White Lion that had been my local for a good few years of my life.

Standing in the cold, I debated it for less than a minute before I pushed open the doors, feeling the warmth of the inside and the scent of alcohol hit me.

"Britney Giggs, it's been a while since I've seen you in here."

I grinned, walking over towards the bar and taking a seat as the landlord threw a towel over his shoulder after he'd dried his hands.

"I was passing by, couldn't not come in for one could I?" I said with a smile.

"Course not, Jameson still your poison?"

"Always." I replied, sliding off my jacket and draping it over the back of the bar stool.

The two of us spoke for a while, catching up on life. I asked about my old co-workers, apparently they'd left about an hour before I arrived, still doing the Friday ritual of a drink after work.

The pub started to empty as time ticked on. There were a group of men in the corner who looked like they'd been here since 5 o'clock, but apart from that, it was just me.

The landlord  poured me another Jameson and himself a pint, continuing our conversation.

"Those Gallagher boys," he started, "Always in here. Think it's one of the few places in town nobody cares about them." He said with a laugh.

I forced a smile at the mention of them.

"The louder one though, cocky bastard, well they both are. Liam," I nodded, urging him to continue, "Every time he comes in, his eyes go straight over to that corner."

I knew exactly which corner the landlord was talking about without even having to look where he was pointing. Liam and I would sit in the same seat every time we came into the pub. He'd have a pint, I'd have a Jameson. We'd sit in here for hours, talking about anything and everything, and nothing bothered us.

"Yeah, always looking over there. First thing he does. Still does-"

"You're not closing are you mate?"

"Erm," the landlord cleared his throat, his eyes flickering between the late arrival and me, a small smirk on his face, "No mate, no. Pint?"

"If you don't mind, cheers."

He came over and stood next to me, I could smell his same aftershave before I could even see him.

Leaning on the bar, his black coat reached his knees and was zipped up right under his chin, a five pound note was scrunched up in his hand.

"Fancy seeing you here."

Liam looked at me with a smile. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him smile like that. He looked genuinely happy.

And all of a sudden, I wasn't.

"On the house lad." The landlord said as Liam tried to pay for his drink, "But I've got to clean the bar, so if you wouldn't mind."

He urged us to find another seat, Liam grabbing his drink and turning in the direction of the corner.

"You coming or what?" He said to me.

I grabbed my jacket and drink, following him over to the table and taking a seat next to him, taking a long sip of my Jameson before placing it down on a weathered beer mat.

We sat in silence for a while. I kept thinking of things to say, only deciding against it every time I went to open my mouth, taking a drink instead.

For whatever reason, I felt nervous around Liam that night. I was on edge, uncomfortable, and I had no idea why.

"You seem happy," I said, breaking the silence.

"Happy?" He looked at me, shaking his head, "I'm never happy, me."

I wasn't sure what he meant, so I didn't say anything else.

He leant back in his chair, stretching out his arms and yawning loudly before folding his arms on the table, rolling his half empty pint glass around with his fingers.

"You seem miserable. Face like a smacked arse."

I chuckled, taken aback by his comment that came so out of the blue.

"My brother said he thought I seemed happy, earlier."

Liam raised his eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"How's the little lad doing?"

"He's good," I said, surprised Liam even remembered that I had a nephew, "Has tiny Adidas trainers and a little parka, anyone would think you'd dressed him."

He smiled, finishing his drink and gesturing to the lady on the bar for another.

"Sounds like a proper little Manc lad."

Sitting in the corner with Liam had me thinking back to all the conversations we used to have here. He would sit with his arm around me, chatting to me for hours about songs Noel had written, or slagging off one of the other boys for something they'd said earlier that day. We'd talk about my job, football, my brother, everything there was to possibly talk about, and it'd feel like no time had passed at all.

When Liam and I were together then, it was like we were in our own little world.

"You got a fella then or?" Liam asked, avoiding eye contact when he spoke.

I knew he knew what Damon had done, everyone knew. But a lot of time had passed since then.

"No," I replied, "How about you?"

Liam just shook his head, pursing his lips as he nursed his drink. Something was on his mind, I could tell. He was never quiet, not like this.

I wondered how long it would take before Liam would just spit out whatever it was that was on the tip of his tongue.

"You know when you've been with other blokes, whatever, did you, erm," Liam furrowed his eyebrows as he spoke, wondering how to word his question, "Did you get the feeling that there was something missing? Or, or not?"

I sighed, my mind pondering over an answer. I could almost feel Liam's nerves as he sat next to me. He couldn't bring himself to look me in the eyes, and I so badly wanted him to.

"Yes." I eventually answered, "Nobody was ever..."

It was my turn to stumble over my words this time. I knew exactly what was going to come out of my mouth had I not stopped myself from saying it. But I wasn't sure whether I even wanted to hear myself say it out loud.

Liam looked at me then, properly. His eyes locked on mine and I suddenly felt like I was sat next to nineteen year old Liam again, who had no cares in the world, who was totally and utterly in love with me.

"Nobody was ever you, Brit. And I don't think, no," He corrected himself, "I know nobody ever will be."

Liam had always had a way of telling me he loved me without actually saying it. And that, was one of the ways.

"It's daft, it's fuckin' stupid," Liam laughed, shaking his head and sipping his beer, "How can I be so in love with you, for all these years, and not even have you?"

Usually I would've blamed the alcohol, but that particular night, I knew Liam wasn't drunk or even close.

"How is it that every time I see you I end up saying all this stuff to you? I see you and then all of a sudden my brains just like 'Liam tell her you love her', and I do, and I end up, well..." He sighed loudly, "I end up nowhere."

"I've grown up a lot, Brit, I have. Seeing you and whatshisface in America and all that, that's the kind of thing I wanted to do with you. Seeing it made me get my arse in gear, you know. I tried to find someone but, it's difficult when I'm comparing every single girl I meet to you."

I wasn't sure how I felt when Liam spoke. I didn't know whether his words were what I'd been waiting for, or if they were going to make my mind go crazy if we never saw one another again after tonight.

"How can I do that? How can I compare anyone to you? It's like you're all the way up here," he held one hand above his head, "And everyone else yeah, they're all the way at the bottom of the fuckin' sea."

I could see Liam was getting worked up. He kept taking swigs of his beer, forcing down the lump in his throat that rose every time he spoke. His eyes looked glassy and I noticed him blinking back any tears that he thought might fall.

I didn't like seeing him emotional, ever, but hearing him pour his heart out to me was making something inside me not want him to stop talking.

"What is it you want, Liam?"

He looked up at me again, not saying anything. His eyes traced the whole of my face, looking at everything that he said he so longingly missed. I took the chance to do the same, feeling a sense of calmness wash over me as I stared into his pale blue eyes, feeling nothing but serene in that one moment.

I loved his hair, the way it fell across his forehead the same way without him ever having to touch it. I loved stubble and the way it tickled my face whenever we kissed. I loved his lips, how they'd kiss me hard when he wanted me, and soft and tenderly when he wanted to tell me he loved me without saying it. And I loved his eyes. I loved how I knew exactly how he was feeling just by looking into them, how he could tell me he loved me by narrowing them slightly and squeezing my hand.

I was in love with him.

Liam reached out a tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, the hairs on my body standing on end as I felt his touch on my skin.

His hand lingered by my face, his fingers falling around the side of my neck as he pulled my face to his, kissing me ever so gently, not wanting to ever let go. It felt like a first kiss, the rush I felt inside was something I'd hadn't ever felt before, but his lips felt the same they always had.

"I want you, Brit. But it's what you want that matters."

Seconds passed. But in those seconds, my mind went back over everything that had happened from the day I'd met Liam, right up until that moment. Every kiss, every laugh, every cry, and every sleepless night, whether it was Liam, Damon, or somebody else.

"I want to be happy." I said, my words a whisper.

"What makes you happy?"

My mind was spinning but suddenly calm when I looked at Liam. For all the years that I'd known him, I'd never had this feeling of assuredness before. I'd always been worried, scared, or thinking about other people.

But now, I'd finally realised. And as I thought back to when I'd met Liam to now, I knew exactly what the truthful answer my brother wanted to give me when he told me about how I'd only ever looked happy once.

"It's you, Liam. It's only ever you."

-THE END-

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an;
I am SOBBING as if this is the end!!! I can't express enough how grateful I am for all the support on this book, I never ever expected even one person to read it let alone this many!!

I'd love to know your thoughts on this book, whether you're happy with how it ended or if any of you wish it had ended differently??? I love hearing how you all feel about the different characters!!

Thank you so so much again. If anyone has any requests for me to do another story on anyone specific, please let me know as I'd be more than happy to write more!!

-martials