I woke up with a missed call, not from Liam, but from Noel. My bed was empty and I felt an emptiness inside of me, too.

The other side of my bed was worn in, the sheets crumped and duvet pushed to the side. Letting out a sigh, I picked up my phone and called Noel back, letting the tone dial for a few moments before he answered, his groggy morning voice down my ear.

"Alright?"

"Why'd you ring me, something up?"

There was silence on the line for a few moments. I hadn't seen Liam or Noel for over three weeks, my time had been spent with Ryan and his friends.

"Yeah, kind of. Well not really I just wanted to check up on your and that, cos' he won't since he's a stubborn fuck."

I smiled to myself, a tiny smile, but still a smile.

"I'm alright thanks, hope you are too. And Liam."

"Our Liam's sound, talks about you a lot. Says stuff like he hopes you've been hit by a football and that but he doesn't mean it. He saw you the other day y'know."

I chuckled at the first remark, but my heart dropped at the second. Liam had seen me, and I hadn't seen him.

"What? Where? In town?"

My heart started to race as my mind ticked through all the places I'd been in the past three weeks, and who I'd been with.

"Town he said yeah, was by yourself. He said he started to walk after you but then realised he looked like a creep so fucked off home."

"Oh," I said simply, immediately wondering what he had planned to say in his head to me, if anything at all, "I see."

Silence played out once again, and I heard Noel moving in the background down the other end of the line.

I wondered how different things would've been if I had turned around and seen him stood behind me, or maybe if I'd have bumped into him myself. Would I have said anything? Or just walked away? I'd never know.

The phone call ended shortly after, Noel telling me he had to go to the studio.

Admittedly, I missed Liam. I missed his smile and his laugh, his voice and the way he walked. I missed him telling people to fuck off and then telling me that he loved me, even though now, I knew that his words that once melted my heart, were all cold blooded lies that he looked me right in the eyes and told me every single day.

Later that morning, I decided to head out to town. Ryan was at training and wouldn't be back for tea since he was heading out after, so I had no need to be back home for us to eat together that evening.

Walking towards the front door, I saw an envelope sticking out of the letter box. Addressed to me, I ripped open the flap and pulled out the note, two tickets falling onto the floor.

"Brit,

Our biggest show yet this Friday, would love to see you there. Miss that smile, I've not seen it in a while x"

I gulped loudly, my breath getting stuck in my throat as I read the letter. It was short and sweet, and I knew Liam wasn't good with words. Part of my heart sank and the rest of it started to beat faster. All I could think of was why had Liam not reached out to me sooner? Why had he not tried to contact me himself? In that moment, I started to question whether all this time I'd been telling myself I didn't need Liam and his negativity, I was lying to myself as much as he had lied to me.

Bending down, I picked up the tickets that had fallen face down. As I turned them over, my fingertips grazed over the black font printed in the centre of the ticket.

BLUR
Live at the O2 Apollo, Manchester

And just like that, the other half of my heart sank to the pit of my stomach.

I shoved the note and tickets into the pocket of my jacket, grabbed my bag and headed out the door, with no intention of letting something as small as this keep me in the house.

I caught the bus into town, giving myself time to think. I'd been reluctant to go out much over the time Liam and I had been separated. In my mind, I felt like I was worried for my heart to break again if I saw Liam out with another girl, even though that was the exact reason we weren't together.

Walking through the centre of town, I picked up a coffee and spent some time looking in a few shops. I had nothing to buy and had no reason to even be out shopping, apart from the fact that I had spent too much time alone in the house.

Time ticked on and the sky grew dark outside. I left the shopping area and wandered around by the canals for a while to get some more fresh air, knowing that I'd probably not leave the house again tomorrow unless Ryan forced me to.

"Fancy seeing you here."

A voice from behind me made me turn my head, grinning as I recognised the face coming out of the shadows.

"David," I smiled, "Where are the others?"

David and I had kissed that night a few weeks ago, and although it hurts to admit, we've kissed again since. I don't like thinking about it and I do, deep down, regret it. He just doesn't kiss the same, his lips don't taste the same and the feelings I get inside aren't the same, the same as his.

"They're already in the restaurant, I had to stay behind for a bit at training so I'm running late. What are you doing round here?"

Adding to my guilt, David didn't feel the same as me. He said I kissed like no girl he'd ever kissed before in his life. I could tell that he likes me, I could tell that he always had done from the way he held me some nights like he'd waited so long and couldn't let go. It hurt me that I'd had to hurt him like this, but he was gracious.

"I came shopping, and now I'm having a walk before I go home."

"Ah," David checked the time on his watch, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt to see the face, "I best be off, they're waiting. Get home safe, Brit."

I just nodded and smiled, telling him to enjoy his night. We walked in opposite directions, the back streets by the canals being dimly lit, making it hard for me to see where I was going.

"Sorry, love."

The voice sent a shiver down my spine, making me stop in my tracks as this person barged my shoulder. I heard them take two steps further, before stopping themselves, turning on their heels and taking two steps back to where I was stood, my back to them.

"What are you doing out here in the dark, darling?"

I felt his hand touch my shoulder and I flinched, jumping away from his grasp and turning to face him.

Even in the dark, I could still see his eyes shining under the gleam of the single street lamp above us. His stubble had got heavy and his hair was short now, a blue collared shirt framing his neck and a green coat around his shoulders, dirty Adidas trainers stood planted firmly before me.

"I was, I just...came out."

He just looked at me, blinking once slowly.

"It's not safe round here, you know that."

I said nothing, looking down at my feet. He didn't break the gaze, but I couldn't stay looking at him any longer, knowing that those eyes weren't mine anymore.

"You dropped these."

He picked up whatever I had dropped, taking a look at it, his eyes squinting. I saw his eyes flicker between me and the object in his hands. He licked his lips, his hand outstretched with the two tickets in them.

"You getting cosy with him now?"

"No." I said bluntly, snatching the paper from his fingers and tucking them away safely in my bag.

We stood in silence. I wanted to leave but there was a tension in the air that made it unable for me to move my feet. I stood still, frozen to the spot with Liam stood in front of me. All I could hear was him breathing and the sound of water splashing against the edge of the canal.

"I miss that smile too, y'know."