"Brit stop shaking your leg."

I hadn't even realised that I'd been bouncing my leg the whole car ride to the venue. It was the evening of the BRIT awards and somehow, Damon had convinced me to be his plus one. At first, I declined, but eventually he wore me down.

We were sat in the back of a rather fancy hummer, all five of us. Over the period of me seeing Damon, I had met his band mates only a small number of times, and on almost all of those occasions, we had all been drunk.

"Sorry," I mumbled, adjusting the sides of my dress. I was wearing a floor length red number, tight fitting with a flattering neckline, my dark hair straightened down my back.

"Don't worry, you've got us to all look after you." Alex smiled, reassuring me that I wasn't somehow going to make a fool of myself.

I had been to events before, and plenty of them with my brother. But this was different. Ryan was young, only just making a name for himself at United and yet tonight, I was the date for the frontman of biggest band in the whole country.

"Here," Graham said, pulling out a bag of white powder from his pocket. Alex rolled his eyes as Graham began messily lining the cocaine with the side of his bank card on the back of his hand, holding it out to me.

I looked around at the rest of them, a raised eyebrow, "Are you not doing it too?"

"What do you think we were all doing while you were getting ready?" Damon said, tapping the side of his nose with a smirk.

Reluctant, but knowing I'd benefit from it in the long run, I leant forward and inhaled the drug from the back of Alex's hand, wincing as I felt it hit the back of my throat.

Damon grabbed my face with his hands, looking at me through narrowed eyes before using his thumb to wipe away any powder that was left behind around my nose. I thanked him with a smile.

We drove through the streets of London for a short while longer, Dave telling some jokes in attempt to chill us all out, but he didn't help much. This was a huge event for the band, and yet I was far more nervous than all four of them combined.

We eventually came to a stop, the door to the hummer swinging open and a gentleman in a black tuxedo stood tall, waiting for us to get out.

Alex first, Dave, Graham, Damon, and then me.

"You will be fine, I promise." Damon said with a small smile, offering me his hand. I placed mine in his own and he helped me out of the vehicle, the man in the tux closing the door behind me.

Looking around me, there were cameras flashing in every direction, far more than any event I had been to with Ryan.

There were runners everywhere, people with clipboards telling us where to walk and where to stand, with photographers crowded behind a metal barrier, and the general public further back.

Damon and I posed for some photos and I began to feel a lot calmer once the cocaine kicked in, a feeling of self-assurance started to set in as I smiled towards the press, my hand on Damon's chest and his round my waist.

I was then ushered inside by an organiser while the band had their photos taken, being grabbed for a quick interview by a reporter for the awards.

"Champagne, Miss?" I turned round to see a smartly dressed server with a tray of champagne flutes in his hand, a dashing smile on his face as he offered me a drink.

"Thank you." I said, accepting a glass and sipping slowly as I waited for the boys to finish up with their interview.

I recognised a few famous faces walk past me, accepting a drink from the bar and chatting amongst themselves before being escorted to their table further inside the venue.

"Brit!" Hearing my name being called, I looked around before I was met with a face I was more than happy to see.

"David," I smiled, hugging him and placing a kiss on his cheek, "How are you?"

"I'm great thanks, you look incredible by the way, stunning." He said with a smile, looking me up and down. I just blushed.

We spoke for a short while, catching up on things as we hadn't spent as much time in one another's company as we used to. I had seen in magazines that David was dating a member of the Spice Girls, and they were pretty much the IT couple of 1995.

"I want you to meet someone, Vic!" He turned around, calling her name. A tall, slim woman with dark hair and the most beautiful eye makeup began making her way over with a friendly smile.

"Brit, this is my girlfriend Victoria, Victoria, this is Ryan's sister, Britney."

She embraced me, complementing me on my outfit and I returned the kind gesture. The two of them looked perfect together, it was easy to see why the world was so obsessed with them, and why David was the only one of the United squad to be invited to the awards as a celebrity guest.

The three of us stood chatting for a while longer until I felt a pair of hands find their way around my waist, and someone's lips upon my cheek.

"Hello, darling." Damon grinned, his head just above my shoulder as he held me from behind.

He had just enough time to shake David's hand and kiss Victoria before everyone was called through into the main arena for seating.

The five of us were sat on a table with some members of Blur's management. I gazed around, spotting more artists I recognised, as well as pop culture celebrities.

Feeling Damon nudge me under the table, I looked at him confused. He just shot a glance down to his hand and I followed his eye line. He was holding a two pills in the palm of his hand, one each I assumed.

"Are you serious?" I questioned him in a whisper.

"We're at the BRITs darling, live a little." He replied with a wink.

I took one from his hand, holding it between my fingers. He did the same, the two of us deciding to cheers with the tiny pills, laughing as we placed them on our tongue at the same time.

***

Whatever it was Damon had given me, it was enough to make me need to get some fresh air halfway through the evening.

Blur had won a two awards so far, beating a certain Manchester band to both of them. The band had taken off backstage to be prepared for their performance, and I had a while until their 9:45 stage time, so excused myself from the table to try and bring myself back down to Earth every so slightly.

Weaving my way through the crowds of people, I passed the bar from before and made my way out into the smoking area, which was full of men in expensive suits and women in long ball gowns with clutch bags worth more than my entire outfit.

Finding a space in a corner, I rested my hands on the barricade, taking deep breaths as two people started merging into one, and then one into four.

"Brit? Is that you?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, the thick accent knocking me for six after not hearing it for so long.

Liam was dressed in jeans, a tshirt and a green parka jacket, his sunglasses covering his eyes and his hair shorter than how I remembered it.

"What're you doing out here on your own?" He said, pulling the shades from his face and tucking them in his pocket.

"I just needed some air." I said, not quite realising just how bad I was until the cool evening air hit me smack in the face, sending my senses into overload.

"You're fuckin' high aren't ya."

"What? Of course not?" I said, shaking my head at his remark, though this only made me lose my balance slightly and I grabbed Liam's arm for support, him catching me, steadying me with both his hands.

"Fuck me Brit what're you doing? You never used to touch any of this stuff and now look at you," Liam sighed, looking me up and down with an expression of disappointment washed across his face.

"I'm fine, Liam. Really I'm fine."

Liam took a hold of my arm, firmly pulling me along close behind him back into the building and over to a quieter area of the bar. He handed me a glass of water, telling me to drink it.

"Do you feel like you're gonna throw up? Cos if you do, go and do it, you'll feel better."

"I've told you I'm perfectly fine!" I said, my voice tinged with aggression and frustration. My head slowly stopping spinning and my heart rate slowed back to, almost, normal.

"Clearly you're not love you're off you're fuckin' face, what would your brother think if he saw you like this? What's happened to you Brit, this isn't you. You used to be the one looking after me n that, not the other way around."

"It's not the other way around. I don't need you to look after me."

"Well you were nearly on your arse out there a minute ago but-"

"Brit, there you are! They're on next!"

Liam was interrupted by Chris, Blur's manager. He came jogging across the bar to us, a puzzled look on his face as he saw me stood with Liam, both of us growing red in the face upon his approach.

A million things suddenly started running through my head, my heart in my mouth at the overwhelming thought of anybody taking any notice of what had just happened and running their mouth to the press.

All I could think about was Damon. I didn't want him seeing this, I didn't want him knowing I'd ever bumped into Liam, let alone the two of us being at each other's throats while he was about to go on stage and perform.

"Alright mate?" Chris said, extending his hand out to Liam who just looked him up and down, ignoring the gesture.

Pursing his lips, Liam stood still, cracking his knuckles before putting his sunglasses on and flicking up the collar of his green jacket, exhaling loudly.

"You've changed you. Never once had to be off your pretty little head on drugs to enjoy yourself with me, did ya?"

I bit my tongue, managing to not retaliate to Liam's comment, no matter how awful it made me feel inside.

He was right, though. I had never touched drugs the whole time Liam and I had been together, not once. Though I had always blamed it on needing to be capable of taking care of him, I had always still felt on the same level as him even when he'd been taking God knows what.

Liam had always made me feel high, but sometimes, he made me feel like I was six feet under.

"Come on," Chris said, pulling me away from my own thoughts, "Forget about him, he's a prick. I know for a fact Damon's gonna be looking for your face when he's up on that stage."

Following Chris back into the arena, he turned to me as we walked past Oasis' table, not one of them trying to hide to face that they were staring at me, even Noel.

Placing his arm on my back, Chris ushered me along, walking beside me.

"You alright my love?" He asked, pulling my chair out for me once we got back to the rest of the management.

I looked up at the stage, Blur's name was plastered all across the backdrop, my eyes falling upon the microphone at centre stage.

"Yeah, I'm fine Chris, thanks." I lied.