Fandoms: Supernatural ONLY

DON'T READ UNLESS YOU HAVE WATCHED SEASON 10!!
________________________

Monster. (Deanmon/Cured!Dean)

Sammy Let Me Go.

How could he have left Sam with only that note? No idea of what was going on other than the fact that his older brother was once again alive and had gone, leaving him all alone with only Cas to help him. He didn't deserve to be saved, Dean knew that much. Neither did Sam deserve to be burdened with all of Dean's problems which had started ever since he had acquired the mark from Cain. Sam deserved so much better. After all those years Sam had believed that he was the freak of the family, the cursed one. The only cursed one was Dean. He had been a demon, had done a lot of horrible things that in Dean's opinion made him no better than the monsters he and Sam normally hunted. Yet Sam had refused to give up on him, he'd tracked him down and brought him home to be cured and in doing so Dean had almost killed his own brother.

"I'm a monster. Why couldn't you see that Sammy?" Dean mumbled, taking another swig of the beer bottle in his hand as he sat on the end of his bed. He hadn't slept properly for a while not since Sammy had cured him and now he was haunted. Haunted by all the things that he had done and could never take back. Being a hunter had never been easy, even when they were kids and their dad had done most of the actual killing but it had still been hard, but they'd been brought up in various difficult situations and eventually they got used to it. The pain, the lies, the one night stands because their life is too dangerous for anything serious. How Dean had spent the night after he'd been cured wishing that Sammy had just left him the way he was, had treated him as no different then any of the monsters that they had hunted over the years. But the younger Winchester hadn't been able to see past the face of his brother, the face of the man who wasn't anything but good in Sammy's eyes. He dropped the bottle on his nightstand, the glass making a echoing clink noise against the wood, his eyes drifting down to the red scar-like mark sticking out from under the sleeve of his shirt.

Dean's eyes darkened momentarily as he stared at the one thing that had caused so much pain, so much destruction over the past weeks. He hadn't deserved saving before when Cas had taken it upon himself to raise Dean from Perdition and he sure as hell didn't deserve it now. He was ninety percent crap but, of course, he was the only one who could see that. The only one that could look in the mirror and see himself for what he truly was. A monster. Running a hand roughly through his hair, Dean stood up. It was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep again tonight so why not go to the one place that truly brought him comfort. Something he hadn't truly missed whilst he was off gallivanting through the night as a demon with Crowley but now missed it like his life depended on it.

He wandered through the dark and silent bunker, his bare feet padding quickly against the ice cold floorboards. He quickly darted past Sam's room and round the corner as the door creaked open, waiting until his brother disappeared from sight - probably heading towards the kitchen - before he continued on his way through the silent building all the way down to the storeroom which had a large heavy wooden door at the back which led to the bunker's garage. Slipping into the driver's seat of the Impala, Dean let himself finally relax,reclining into the soft leather of the seat. "Ah Baby. I missed you. We may have the bunker now but you're still home." He patted the steering wheel, a fond smile tilting the corners of his mouth upwards slightly as he reached over and switched on the radio. The hushed comforting sound of music filled the silent vehicle as the hunter let his eyes shut and sleep finally claim him.

*****

Black eyes, cold and empty stared down at him. A strong hand pinned him to the floor whilst the other held the first blade against his throat. No matter how hard Dean struggled he couldn't throw his demonised, blood soaked twin off of him. "You've seen what you can become Dean. The amount of power you can possess. But you threw it all away and for what? Your brother who you can never save? The pathetic excuse for an angel that you call a best friend?"
"Shut up." Dean murmured, blood running out of the corner of his mouth, the tangy metallic taste filling his senses along with the rotten stench of sulphur. "You feel it don't you? The want... running like poison through your veins. The unbearable itch from the mark that tries to convince you to kill. Monster, human, Angel... brother. You want to destroy it all. Take the blade from me Dean. Take it. Become what you're truly meant to be." Dean shook his head, watching as the demon version of him sneered cruelly at him before he was yanked to his feet and flung against the wall. "You're weak. You may wield the mark Dean but you have no idea of the power you can possess. Your brother... your Angel... they hold you back Dean. Imagine the life you could have had, had you killed them! You will kill them Dean, you're poison. Everyone around gets hurt or dies eventually and it's always your fault." The demon sneered, tilting its head back slightly as it laughed.

Sensing the demon's slackened grip Dean lunged out, punching it square in the jaw and tearing away from its grip. It wasn't long before the demon began to attack back, punching and slashing with the blade, attacking every inch of Dean it could reach. "You're going to kill them soon Dean. You're brother may have cured you but I'm still there... I'm still you!" The demon pointed down at the mark that was burning bright red on Dean's arm. "Eventually you'll kill them... That'll make you. Started with your Angel. You'll deliberately call him and he'll come. He always comes when you call after all, but the real you will be trapped inside screaming for him to turn away to go back. Then you'll do it. Stab him with your blade - this blade in fact - until you feel it crunch through his ribs, piercing his heart and you'll laugh. Laugh as his grace begins to glow and your eyes turn black. He'll cover them of course wanting to picture you with green eyes, whispering, telling you that it's okay. Pathetic!" The demon laughed. "Then there will be little Sammy. God how it'll pain you to do that! Kill the child you swore at such a young age to protect. We never did such a good job at that did we, Dean? The countless times little Sammy has died and for what? Just because you couldn't stand the thought of doing your job alone. Some severe abandonment issues there Dean, daddy left you and you didn't want to do it alone. He had a life Dean, was safely out until you dragged him back in. All those times little Sammy has died... they're all on you."

Dean staggered backwards, spitting blood out of his mouth as he held a hand up to placate the demon a sit went to advance on him once more. "No..." he whispered. "No. It wasn't my fault. I won't kill them. I won't! Not Sammy... not Cas..." The demon wiped a trail of blood that was slowly running down the side of its face, licking it off its hand, "Then I guess I'll have to make you." It stated, stepping forward with the first blade raised menacingly.

*****

"NO!" Dean yelled throwing himself upright, his chest whacking the steering wheel of the Impala knocking all the air out of his lungs. Sitting back, rubbing his ribs Dean let out a sigh, his eyes drifting shut as his reclined into the once comforting leather. "You will kill them Dean, you're poison. Everyone around gets hurt or dies eventually and it's always your fault." The demon's voice hissed, seeming to echo around his head and the bunker's garage despite how hard Dean pressed his hands against his ears in order to cover them and block out the sound. But still it echoed around his head, screaming at him, forcing him to listen. The mark on his arm burned red, itching with the building screams inside his head. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!"

A knock on the glass window of the Impala silenced everything. The demon's voice fading into muted whispers as the mark turned back to the pink scar like colour. Glancing out the window Dean noticed the concerned looks of Sam and Cas's faces peering in at him. Stepping out of the car and shutting the door, Dean lent back against the cool black metal, arms folded against his chest as he attempted to act calm and collected, like they hadn't just witnessed his weakest moment. "What's this? Check the cursed one is still inside? How'd you find me anway?" Dean joked, his eyes flicking between his brother and his Angel. Stepping forward, Sam yanked Dean into a hug, tightening his grip so that Dean couldn't push him away. Not that Dean would have even tried. He was too tired. "Cas could sense your distress, came and got me and ta da! We'll figure it out Dean, we'll get the mark off you. I promise." Dean laughed drily, stepping back from his brother finally as he rubbed a hand against the mark. "Sure Sammy... whatever you say. You can't teach a monster old tricks."