Title: Misplaced trust pt.2

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word count: 2637

Published: 27 July, 2020

Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

It's been a months since you have last seen Jensen. You have tried to message him once again, a week after you arrived back home, but it bounced back just as the first one. After that, you never attempted it again.

You were still hurting. His effects on you were beyond what you could have understood and each night you went to sleep, rethinking what you could have done differently.

You were wrong to lie to him, but you also knew that he would have never showed that gentle, funny personality of his, the real him, if he knew you were a fan. You were wrong to lie, you should have come clean straight away, maybe at lunch, maybe in the park. But you didn't. 

However you didn't feel guilty anymore for keeping it a secret at the beginning. You got to know a side of him, that others didn't, which meant more to you than you could comprehend. Even if it meant he was to be only a memory in your future, you were to always treasure it.

There was another Supernatural convention, this time in New Jersey. Your friends were politely asking you to join them, if that could be called polite in anyway. They were harassing you more like to attend to the convention. First you kept denying them, but soon you gave in. You didn't want to think about him, let alone see him. It was hard enough anyway. But you gave into your friends' harassment.

At the convention you watched as they played around on the stage. Jensen, Jared and Misha were sharing behind the scenes secrets with the audience. Your heart clenched as you watched him happily chuckle at his friends and your eyes filled up with tears, the painful lump appearing in your throat once again. You were happy that he was in a good place, you were glad he was cheerful. But you just couldn't listen to him anymore, you couldn't watch him any longer. You whispered to your friends that you needed to leave and understanding what you meant, they let you go. You stood up from your seat and walked across the aisle, trying to avoid stepping on people's feet.

When you arrived to the entrance of the room, you looked behind you to take a last look at the man you were holding dear in your heart and your eyes met his wide, green eyes, clearly startled at your presence. You could read off his lips as he mouthed your name, but noone else noticed. You turned away, feeling the tears begin to run down your cheeks and left the dumbfounded man behind.

You stood at bar, waiting for the end of their session, while you sent a message to let your friends know where you were. People slowly started leaving the room and you saw Jensen trying to sneak out at the back, away from the fans. You felt a sudden determination came over you, so you followed him to the back of the building, leading to an alley, where he sat down on the stairs.

You walked up to his seated form and stood in front of him. His eyes grew wide as he studied you, running his eyes up and down on your body. You heaved a deep sigh and decided to speak first.

"Hi." You greeted him. However he didn't reply. He shot up and started walking back into the building. "Really? Stop acting like you are the only one hurting in this situation." You raised your voice. He halted abruptly and turned around to look at you. "You know what? I accept, that it was my fault. Yes, I might have been wrong to keep lying to you, but I started to like you, even if it was just a couple days. I am sorry that I wanted to get to know the real you, not the magazine boy who has to smile at everyone, because a paparazzi could capture him being a mean celebrity." You huffed in annoyance, seeing barely any change in his demeanour. 

"You know what? I made a mistake and I didn't come clean about knowing of you. But I do not feel guilty for not telling you that I was a fan of yours, because at least I got to see the real you. If anything, I am guilty of wanting to get to know you, not the facade that you are wearing to please others." You huffed out of frustration. It slowly downed on you that you have just let out all that has been bothering you without him wanting to hear a word from you. You gently rubbed your temple, calming yourself down. "Whatever." You whispered just about for him to hear you, but he didn't reply. You heaved a deep sigh and left him on the stairs, still staring at the spot you have been standing at, just a couple of seconds ago.

You sent a quick message to your friends telling them that you have left and headed home.

You barely arrived to your apartment when you felt your phone buzzing in the pocket of your jacket repeatedly. You took it out and looked at the screen. Your eyes widened at the sight of the name flashing on it.

It was Jensen.

Your phone kept ringing and you didn't know what to do about it. You wanted to talk to him, but you were hurt. He acted as if he was the only one suffering from your dumb mistake. You heaved a deep sigh and made one of the hardest decisions in your life, when you pushed the red decline button on the screen of your phone. It quickly turned black. You kept starring at the blank phone as if you waited for him to call you again, but he didn't. You slid the phone into the pocket of your jeans and walked to kitchen to get something to drink.

As you headed back to the living room, your phone buzzed again. Looking at the screen, Jensen's name appeared in a new message notification. You opened the application, being curious about what he wanted. It was a simple message.

"Y/N, I'm still in New Jersey for a couple of nights. Please, let us meet and talk." The message said. He wanted to talk to you and in normal circumstances you would have been the happiest person, but you felt bitter. You decided to reply to his message.

"This sounds awfully familiar. As if I have asked you the same thing back then. Still you didn't even give me a second to explain why I did that. I'm over it, Jensen." You wrote and hit the send button. You knew you were being petty, after all you caused this mess, but you were beyond pissed as if the last month of pain decided to leave you all at once. You were lying once again. You were nowhere near over him or the situation, but you didn't want to give him the upper hand. Your phone soon flashed in your hand again as his name appeared on your screen. You opened the message to see his reply.

"I know, I didn't handle it well, but please, let's talk." He asked you and once again you didn't know what to say. Of course you wanted to see him, but he didn't give you a chance to explain yourself either. Why would you? Your phone vibrated in your hand again and you read his next message. "I will be at the entrance of the Hamilton Park by 9pm tonight. I will be waiting there. Please come and see me." He wrote and you just threw your phone at the end of your couch out of frustration. You didn't have a clue what you wanted.

Time flew by quickly. You sat on your couch, dressed up into a pair of black jeans, a black hoodie and a leather jacket, still debating if you wanted to go. It was past 9pm already and the park was about half an hour from your house. You knew he wouldn't wait for you all night, he wasn't dumb enough to do that.

You didn't even realise the time. It was already 10pm when you looked at the clock on the wall, silently ticking away as if it was telling you, you were already running out of time. You quickly shot up from your couch, picked up your bag and phone and ran downstairs, catching the first taxi you could find.

As you arrived to the park, you paid the driver in a rush and jumped out of the car. You took a deep breath and collected yourself, before you headed to the entrance. It was already in view, the blue Welcome to Hamilton Park sign lit by the public lights across the fence. Arriving to the entrance, you looked around, but he was nowhere to be found.

You heaved a deep sigh as you tried to keep your tears from falling. You had all kinds of thoughts running through your head from him leaving already as you were almost 2 hours late, to thinking he was never even there and it was some kind of a revenge, which you just shook off as that wasn't the person you got to know in him.

You sighed as you looked around once again, before you headed back to the same way you came from.

"I didn't think you would come." His familiar rusty voice hit your ears, making you slowly turn around. He was standing there with an expression you couldn't recognise. He let out a deep breath as he walked closer to your still standing frame. "I'm glad you are here though." He spoke truthfully. "Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked and you just nodded. You started walking by the fence, separating you from the Hudson River. The lights of the gigantic buildings of New York, lit the surface of the water, making it shine in a colourful rainbow. Silence fell up on you, but before you could have thought about saying anything, you were interrupted. "I'm sorry." He breathed quietly, breaking the silence between you. You shook your head almost invisibly.

"That should be my line." You smiled softly, knowing it was a good enough start.

"I guess, both of us screwed up." He stated and you nodded along.

"I lied to you though and I'm sorry for that. I really just wanted to see your real personality, not the one that's kind out of politeness for his fans." You tried to explain yourself, more calmly than your earlier monologue was at the convention.

"I know. And I didn't understand it until you decided to tell me off today. I didn't understand, I didn't consider that it had any effect on you." His tone was clearly apologetic. "I thought this through when you left and started to see your side as well. I guess I was just blinded by the fact that I have misplaced my trust so many times and I thought you were just one of those people who wanted to use me for their own greed." You quickly shook your head and interrupted him.

"I would never do that. I understand it might have come across that way, but I really didn't intend to use you. I wanted you to be just normal, not the famous celebrity, girls are drooling over. I wanted to know the real you. I knew all along that it was bad and I wanted to tell you, but I was selfish and I thought this way maybe I could spend time with you, without you having second thoughts on my intentions." You poured your heart out, placing it into his hand and you were just hoping he wasn't about to crash it viciously.

"I understand now and while I was pissed at not being able to get over you, now I'm glad I couldn't." He smiled gently.

"The news papers showed differently." You scoffed with a mischievous tone to your voice.

"Are you jealous?" He raised an eyebrow, his smile growing wider.

"No." You pouted, but he just chuckled at your reaction.

"You shouldn't believe everything the newspapers say." He replied with a soft tone.

"I guess, you are right." You nodded, your smile slowly returning.

"What do you say about starting over?" He asked as he stopped and turned to you.

"I would love that." Your smile curved up even higher and you reached for his hand to shake it and introduce yourself once again, as if you have never met before, just like you have seen in the romantic movies, numerous times before. However he had different intentions. He reached for your hand, but got hold of your arm and pulled you into his chest. His sudden actions forced a silent squeaking sound to leave your lungs in surprise. He chuckled at your startled face and cupped your cheeks in his big, manly hands. Before you had time to process what was going on, his lips were on yours, this time not even bothering to ask for permission. Your eyes widened in shock, before they finally flattered close involuntarily and you gave into the kiss, placing your hands around his waist.

It was nowhere near similar to your first kiss. It wasn't slow or exploring with a slight need in addition. It was passionate and lustful as if he was trying to tell you that he has been craving you for the past month.

You kissed back with just as much need, wanting to feel him even more. You couldn't have physically gotten closer to him, or so you thought, still you felt the distance was too big for your liking. He let his hands wonder down to your waist, managing to pull you into his body and you lifted yours to link them behind his neck, deepening the kiss, giving you more satisfaction as you felt him even closer now.

Air was much needed and you finally parted, but none of you planned to leave the other's embrace. Your bodies were still linked together, his lips hinting a quick peck on your forehead, before turning to look into your eyes.

"That's not really how a restart works." You giggled happily, which earned a playful eye-roll from him.

"Maybe we could start a bit further than the very beginning." He smirked at you, with an almost smug-like feature. But you didn't mind his confidence, it boosted yours too.

"I don't think I would mind." You chuckled and kissed him once again, enjoying the feel of his lips against yours.

Although there were loads of hurdles that you had to get through even at the beginning of your relationship, you knew that if you stayed honest and truthful with each other, your relationship would be anything, but ordinary. After all he wasn't an average person. He was perfect for you.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :) I am also taking requests. If you have any, please just let me know.

I do not accept requests with suicide, suicidal thoughts and self-harm. I'm sorry, but those are subjects, that I do not cover for personal reasons. Anything else, let me know.