X plus size reader

Sum: You and your little sister had a fight over something that was ridiculous and so you leave abruptly to go to the one person you trusted to talk it out. (In this, Sam and Dean live separately)

Contains: Angst, depression, fluff, cussing, depressed or suicidal thinking reader. Don't read if this triggers or offends you please.

Perfect simple plan and pieces sum 41 as inspiration
————————-

The night started out like it would on your normal day. With you waking up like a zombie then getting started on your daily errands continuing with a nice warm shower and finally sleep to continue the circle. You lived in a house where everyone in your family was a hunter and your little sister in particular was someone you couldn't see eye to eye with most of the time. You both would fight, mainly it was her starting it and you ending up in tears whilst she would go about her days as if her words didn't pierce you like a knife. Lately she has been calm, ignoring you for the most part except this time your sister's outburst that only happened every so often just happened out of the blue on this night.

You were about to get ready for bed since you shared with her, you've shared the same bed and room with her since your teen years due to lack of any rooms in the house. But when your sister calmly walks into your shared room making you think she was going to sleep as well you felt like there was tension in the air but brushed it off. Slowly you are just about ready to barely fall asleep in your soft warm bed when she decided now would be the time to start her unnecessary rant.

"I thought we talked about this!" You look at your sister confused as you're about turn on your side to go to sleep but you slowly turn back a bit to hear her.

"What're you talking about?" You ask calmly yet confused.

"I heard you talking to your friend Talia on the phone and I specifically told you not to talk about me!" She yells at you again as she claps her hands together which annoyed you.

"We weren't talking about you" you say in a gravelly tone.

"Yes! yes you were now what did she say about me?" Your sister raises her voice at you as you sit up to stare straight at her.

"All she said was that you should say please when asking for stuff that's it!" You say in a guttural voice raising it slightly. But you still tried to be quiet since you didn't want to wake anyone else up.

"And how come you didn't defend me whenever she talks shit about me?" She responds sounding irritated.

She wasn't talking shit!!

"I do half of the time!" You sigh, all you wanted was to just sleep and not argue with her anymore. You love her so much but can't see why she seems to act like this and you wanted to understand why.

"Yeah well you should defend me all the time because I'm your sister! You know what I'm not gonna support you then" she turns over onto her side. But now you weren't finished.

"I only defend you when you deserve it. Sometimes you put me down and I don't want to defend you when you do that!" Tears start to appear from the corner of your eyes but you blinked them away.

I'm sorry I can't be perfect..

"I specifically told you not to talk about me were you not listening!?" She yells at you again, her yelling at you starts the streams of tears run down your face. You scratch the back of your neck hard but not skin deep to try to numb the pain she made you feel..you could feel the burning from your scratches you made.

I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it..this place is so empty my thoughts are so tempting..your thoughts were getting darker and you didn't like thinking like that.

"Everytime I talked to you, you'd get like this this is why i talk to her cause she's my best friend" you continue to dig your nails into your nape of your neck, feeling the burning sensation more and more.

"Talk to me! Not her!" She raises her voice higher. You felt a harsh pressure on your chest as you felt like you were about to run out of air.

"It's not a one way street! You should talk to me too!" Tears continue to flow as you yell back.

"Now why are you crying!?" She asks you coldly, as if she didn't see a reason for you to show such an emotion. While her face remain straight yet angry.

"Figure it out" your voice cracks as you cry whilst looking away from her and stared down at your legs as they lay dangling on the edge of the bed.

"Come on talk it out, explain yourself!" She always tells you to talk it out when you two fight but when you try she snaps at you. Which is why you told you best friend Talia whenever she hurts you but this felt more painful than any argument you've ever had with her.

"I'm just done.." you leave your king sized bed, put on your coat and shoes then rush to get out of the house. Driving away with tears streaming down your face all the more. You wiped your tears away, afraid you'd crash if your tears blurred your vision on the road so it felt best to drive away and cry it out for a while.

Maybe I can go to a park and cry..but what if there's some creep there..maybe I can go to a book store? Nah..it's closed at this time of night..

Undecided you found yourself driving towards Sam's place, he and his brother have their own separate housing but lived in the same neighborhood. You knew this as you have been their friend for years so it felt like a routine for you to drive to his.

"I'm coming" you hear Sam's muffled voice from behind the door, as soon as he opens it he notices your broken expression and red puffy eyes.

"What's wrong?" His voice laced with concern.  He saw your puffy red eyes a little, your face red as your eyes wouldn't meet his.

"I tried to be perfect..it just wasn't worth it" you whisper as your tears are drying up. It felt like you couldn't cry anymore, as if it's all dried up like a desert inside your eyes.

"Huh? C-come inside Y/n" he opens the door wider for you, you slowly waltz in but never turning to see wether Sam closed his door or not. You just headed straight for his bedroom, the one place you felt like nothing could harm you when you came over.

You sit on his bed feeling so tired and beaten, you could feel his soft bed sheets at the palm of your hands as you run your hands on it. Sam walks in as well, you were so lost in the recent event that you didn't look up at him. But you could hear him rummaging through his drawers that were near the door, he then tosses one of his pajama shirts at you.

"I can take so much...til I've have enough. I'm only human..and I bleed when I fall down.." you say softly, slowly you begin to raise your voice as you feel the need to scream and shout. Let every angry and hurt emotion you ever felt come out without any judgements or your name being called 'dramatic' by anyone.

"Why!? Why does she do this to me!?" You start to yell, slightly hyperventilating. Sam sits down next to you, placing his rather large hand on your back as he rubs in circles trying to comfort you. The tears overflowing down each cheek like Niagara Falls but the hyperventilating was slowing down bit by bit.

"What's so bad about who I am that she feels the need to be like this!?" You continue your rant. It felt like every word draining from your lips and your heart as well as your mind were releasing brick by brick of pressure that was weighing heavily on you. It was starting to hurt a bit less.

"I love her so much and yet she treats me like I'm a child who would only cower and run. Never to try and protect the people I love! I fucking hate it that no one believes in me!!!" You cry ever so harder, your breathing starting to hurt inside your chest. Your throat felt scratchy from the yelling.

"You know..one time during our fights before this she told me she wished I'd never been born. That she wished I never existed! How bad of a sister am I to deserve such harsh words!?" You hated hanging on to these negative comments but there was hardly any kind words from her for you to hold on to.

He remains silent as he lets you continue your outburst. He's never seen you so hurt, so angry, distraught, and sad that it felt like you really needed to let everything out. So he lets you do just that as he continues to sit beside you.

"I just want her to respect me, love me back like I love her but she can't or maybe even won't..when all I have done was try to be close to her" he slides his hand over to your shoulder, not pulling you in for an embrace just yet. Until he hears you say another outburst that changes his 'let her do this to let it out' thought process completely.

"Maybe she would be happier if I was no longer here..." you whispered feeling defeated and worn out like a piece of a ripped up rag. Battered and bruised inside. Suddenly Sam's grip on your shoulder tightens, nearly scaring you to death but it broke you out of your dark train of thought.

"Don't talk like that! Ever!" Your heart leaped out of your chest you were so scared. The smell of his room finally hitting you, the familiar scent of his cologne as well as his musk surrounded the room reminding you of where you were. It was helping you calm down a little.

"B-but I" Sam cuts you off.

"Do you seriously think that you don't matter!? That just because one person seems to not believe in you that the whole world doesn't believe in you!? Y/n you've got to realize that you can't please everyone, but what you can do is prove her wrong there are some out there who see you differently!" You stay silent as you felt like he wasn't done just yet.

"You are strong, you are brave, hell you're even a badass fighter and have a rather amazing talent of tearing up barbecue wings. You're clumsy but you're focused, you are adorable when you blush and seeing you makes my day. Y/n you do matter to others, you just don't notice that and you won't be able to unless you love yourself." His adam's apple bobs as he swallows. Continuing to stare at you. An expression you could assume was caring, compassion and sincerity.

"Sam.." You take a hold of his arms. Never moving them away.

"Thank you" you say softly as you smile while a few more tears roll down your cheeks. He slowly moves towards you, never removing his hands from your shoulders but closing the distance between you both.

"You're welcome, and Y/n..I meant every word. You do matter, you just have to believe in yourself that you are amazing. No one can do that but you because no one else's opinion should matter. You know yourself better than anyone can, But I'll always be here when you need me." He smiles as he rests his forehead against yours. You wrap your arms around his waist, he in turn embraces you back.

As you remain in your embrace, you started to completely calm down. So after a while of Sam comforting you, you ended up staying the night. Talking for hours as you both watched your favorite films, you fell asleep on Sam's shoulder. He thought you were dead asleep when he placed a soft kiss on your cheek and whispers..

"I love you..for being you" you heart skipped a beat, but you remained appearing to be asleep. Not wanting to confess your mutual feelings just yet.

You planned to tell Sam your feelings as soon as you healed from this broken event. He was an important piece to your puzzle you never wanted to lose.