So this imagine is were the reader is in love was Sam. But, one doesn't want him to find out and, two doesn't think he feels the Sam way. TRIGGER WARNING!! Self harm. Please be advised I do not support self harm and, if you ever need help please talk to someone and, remember there are always people there for you. I hope you enjoy my lovely peeps.

You have been in love with Sam since you frost met him which happened to be 4 years ago. Your now 25. You were thankful for the fact that it was mainly Dean getting the loving. (Sorry Sam hope you finally get laid this season.) So you never had to worry except for this one demon ruby. That was a year ago even then you had a tough time amitting your feelings. Your heart ached knowing what he must of went through during the rehabilitation, you would cry by yourself and, pray to chuck that he would get better soon. It had been a year now and, you had fallen into depression, he might have gotten better but, you didn't. Two years ago it started, you still had many scars on your roster and, thighs by now they thought everything was fine but, it wasn't. Your soul felt crushed. You were at the bunker now waiting for the guys to get home meanwhile you sketched. "Y/n were home!!" Sam and, Dean yelled simultaneously. You quickly dropped you pencil to pull on you hoody, and beany. You were always wearing you black jeans or sweat pants so you weren't worried. "Coming!!" You yelled back as you ran into the living room. You have a bloodied Dean a kiss on the cheek and, a hug before doing the same with Sam. "So guess what y/n Sam finally got lucky." He says with a wink. "Wh..a.at," you say while clearing your throat. Your heart broke even more. "Why is everyone so shocked about this?" He says you pale. "Hey so I'm just finishing up a sketch and, I'm a little tired so I'm gonna go to bed." You said trying to get away as fast as possible. You waved bye your sleeve lifting up slightly. You went to the bathroom and, got your razor out you started crying while drawing blood.

Sam's pov

"Hey y/n were home!!" Dean called from the stairs. "Coming!!" We heard not a second later. She came in to living room wearing a hoddy to big for her small figure and, a beanie along with her usual black jeans. She kissed and, hugged dean before doing the same to me. "So Sam finally got lucky tonight" Dean said while winking. "Wh..a.at?" She stuttered. "Why does everyone seemed shocked by this?" I asked almost sounding offemded. She paled then said "hey um I have a sketch I'm finishing and, I'm kind of tired so I'm gonna go to my room." She lifted up her arm to wave goodbye and, I noticed a few scars on her wrist. Confused I followed just as she turned the corner as soon as she closed the bathroom door in her room I went in. She started crying while listening to her I heard Dean come into the room. I held my finger to my lips as I heard her whisper over and, over again "worthless, stupid, fat, ugly" I wanted to cry hearing her sob. All of a suddenly a heard a slight thud. I decided to come in. She was now sitting on the floor against the bathtub still sobbing as her wrist bled out.

Y/n pov

I sat on the bathroom floor against the cold bathtub sobbing. They came in I didn't stop crying Sam held me in his arms until I stopped crying. "Why y/n why are you doing this to yourself?" He said, then I said "because I'm ugly and, fat." "You are none if those things your stunning." Dean looked at me concerned. "Dean can you please leave me and, y/n alone for a second" Sam asked. "Yeah." He said before gently closing the door. Sam bandaged my wrists and, kissed them. "I love you Sam I know you proably don't love me but, I love you for 4 years now it kills me every time your with another girl." You finally make the confession getting a huge relief from your chest but, still nervous. He leans in and, captures your lips with his which turns into a full on make out session he bots your lip making you shiver with delight. Just after pulling away foreheads together you swollen lips panting out your breath. "I love you to y/n."