🎶: 'Nobody's Home' By Avril Lavigne

(The song adds depth to the imagine... 🙏 Listen to it, trust me)

⚠WARNING⚠: This imagine involves self-harm and low self esteem, topped with guilt, so if you feel uncomfortable about those things, BEWARE.

You ALL are beautiful and unique in your own way... I love each and every one of you, I'm not lying.
(If you ever wanna talk about anything, just message me! I'm always there 😘)

_______________________

You sat on the comfy cushion that was placed in the corner in your bedroom. You normally use it when you're reading, your reading lamp acting as a spotlight above your head.

But other times, it's a place you sit at and cry... cry about when all the things that had gone wrong in your life.

It happened two months ago, your whole world was turned upside during just one night.

"[y/n], your mother and I have made a decision. You shouldn't  go to that party," Your father instructed and turned back to look at his phone, scrolling through a news app.

"And anyways, there's drinking bound to happen and there's boys there-"

"Mom I'm not going to sleep with them! I'm not like that and you know it!" You said, slightly louder than you should. Your father took his reading glasses off and looked at you straight in the eye.

"[y/n], no arguing with your mother! We have finalised this and nothing is going to change our mind," He said firmly and you growled in frustration.

"You know, just ONCE I've asked you for letting me go for a party with my friends and you say no," You yelled, "What kind of parents do that?! You can't lock me up like some fairytale princess forever!"

You ran up the stairs in your house, your shoes stomping hard on the surface. You hurried to your room and slammed the door shut, collapsing onto your bed and crying into your pillow.

But did you listen to them? No... no you didn't.

You sneaked out of your house, your friend came over and picked you up in her car after you slipped out of the window. You changed in the car, previously wearing black clothes so you wouldn't be spotted in the dark.

Though you felt the hint of guilt all the way and at the party, you kept your word about not being too close to guys.

You came back home, giggling and laughing with your friend. She dropped you off and you quietly walked up to your main door.

You found the door unlocked and ajar, to your surprise. You were terrified, bad thoughts and images coming into your mind.

You called out for your parents but were then faced with your worst nightmare. You screamed at the top of your lungs as you walked into the living room.

There was blood everywhere, spattered on the walls and across the floor. You covered your mouth in shock, following the long pool of blood that trailed the floor.

Your parents lay on the ground, chests, arms and mouths dripping with blood.  You felt faint, your heart thumping in your chest.

You yelled out, apologising for breaking their trust and hoping that it was all some way to teach you a lesson for disobeying them.

And that's how you've come to know the Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean.

They barged into your house that night, guns pointed ahead and heart break on their faces when they saw you on the floor near your dead parents.

They helped you out, dragged you away from your house to safety. You found out days after about what was the thing that killed your parents: A werewolf, a nasty one too.

At first you didn't believe them, obviously, but having caught a glimpse of it back at your house... You couldn't deny their words.

Monsters are real... and you living without family just became a reality too.

You got up from the cushion on the ground and wiped your cheeks. You sulked as you walked to your bedside drawer and took out one of Dean's old leather belts.

You walked to the washroom, pushing it till it was almost shut tight, a thin line of light from your room shone through.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, looking to your hands immediately afterwards because you were unable to face how useless of a person you are.

You took your shirt off, constantly groaning at how much your body ached. You took a deep breath then gripped the belt in your hands, lowering it then lifting it in a swift motion, whipping yourself on your back.

You bit your lip, crying out slightly, then repeated the action. You groaned loudly in agony, you still weren't used to the pain of being whipped.

You do this everyday, ever since the day your parents died. You whip yourself two or three times then fall asleep with the pain on your back.

But today was the same day of the week your parents had died on, Friday. You cut yourself on Fridays as well as whip yourself.

You grabbed the exacto knife from Sam's stationary kit, one he had 'lost' suddenly one day. You stuck your other hand out and drew a sharp and deep cut on a spot where your arm was empty of scars.

You did it again, crying out and trembling with pain and guilt. You breathed heavily, unable to stop yourself from shivering.

It was your way to punish yourself for disobeying your parents. You lived with the guilt every single day, regret filled you till the tip.

How could their daughter disobey them? How selfish am I? You'd think,  And now they're dead... maybe it's the price I pay.

You collapsed onto the ground, arms bleeding while the knife fell into the sink. You were so broken right now you didn't bother covering your wrists.

You yelled out in frustration, pain and grief. You just wanted-

"[y/n]?!" You heard a voice call out with worry. Moments later the washroom door swung open and there stood Sam Winchester.

You raised your hands to him and cried out. He rushed to your side and kneeled beside you, holding you in his arms.

He grabbed the towel that hung in the rack and wrapped it around your wrists. "What did you do? Why are you doing this?!" He questioned, stressed out and panicking.

You felt light headed. You rested your hwad on his chest while he rubbed your back. "I-I... I'm so sorry mom, I'm sorry dad," You mumbled, eyes slowly closing, "I'm a horrible daughter."

Sam continued to stare at you with heartbreak in his eyes. "Hey, you're not a horrible daughter. You're-"

"But I went out for that damn party!" You yelled out, as you cried, "I snuck out for that stupid party that wasn't even that great! I disobeyed them and now... n-now they're d-dead, BECAUSE OF ME!"

You bawled out, another wave of grief hit you hard. "I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON! I'M USELESS! I killed them Sam!" You shouted and he hugged you tightly.

"No no NO, you didn't. You are as perfect as a person can be," He said and kissed your head, "You're a gem [y/n], don't cut yourself for something that wasn't your fault."

"H-How can I be a g-gem and be perfect with... these?!" You raised your hands to his face and he examined every scar. "You're still beautiful. Why would you ruin such beauty by... cutting yourself? You can talk to me, beat me up, yell at me... whatever you want but don't cut yourself [y/n]!" Sam told and you started to cry again.

"See?! Now I disappoint you too! I'M USELESS!" You covered your face with your hands. "Oh [y/n], you're-"

He spotted something, something brown that shown slightly from laying in the sink. Sam got up a bit and held the object.

"OH MY LORD [y/n]! Don't tell me you whip yourself too!" He questioned with disbelief and you cried harder. He held you close to his chest, rocking you back and fourth.

"DAMN it [y/n]! Why didn't you t-talk to me?" He started to tear up, "WHY?!" You didn't respond, shaking with misery as Sam held you tight.

He got up then picked you up bridal style, walking towards your bed and carefully laying you down. You immediately curled up into a ball, sobbing quietly.

Sam lay next to you, holding you to his chest and rubbing your sides slowly. "No more cutting, no more whipping and no more making yourself feel bad about losing your parents... as if it was your fault, got it?!" He said firmly and you nodded quickly, sniffing.

"You can always talk to me, you have me... if you don't feel comfortable around Dean, come to me," He kissed your head, "I care about you [y/n] and seeing you like this breaks my heart."

"You don't have to be alone, you were never alone. You've had us and this is your home," Sam said, you had relaxed a bit, "We love you."

You felt calm in his protective hold, his body heat helped to stop your trembling. "I'm sorry Sam, I'm so sorry," You mumbled, completely an emotional wreck. You were traumatized that night when your parents died and the images never left your mind.

"I'm so sorry... I'm... s-sorry."

'She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.'