🎶: 'Skinny Love' by Bon Iver

Long one, enjoy the potential crying courtesy your humble imaginator 😢

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You dialed his number for the fifth time but he didn't pick up. You cut the call after the third ring and put your phone down on the bed.

You just... You need to hear his voice soon otherwise you're going to lose it.

You stared at your phone, reaching out to pick it up and dial his number once-

TRRIIIINNNNGG!

You answered the call the fastest you have ever done and put the phone to your ear. "H-Hello?" You said, there was the sound of people talking loudly in the background.

"Hello, [y/n]?" You heard Misha say and you sighed with relief, "What's up? Everything okay? You called quite a few times,sorry I couldn't pick up."

"Everything's fine, I just... I just wanted to hear you," You said, trying to keep your voice steady, "H-How's everything going with you?"

"Great actually! The fans are having a good time, J2 and I are as well, I-"

He stopped talking abruptly, whispering to someone off the phone. "Hey honey can I call you later? Now isn't the best time to talk," He requested and you frowned.

"Y-Yeah sure, bye."

"Thanks I'll-"

BEEP!

You cut the call mid-way of his sentence. You threw your phone onto your bed and buried your face in your hands, shedding tears quietly.

You just wanted this to end. Every moment he was away from you, it made you feel worse. You didn't know what to do, it gets harder everyday.

You wiped your eyes, then take a sip from the glass of water on your side table. You looked at the time, it was only 7 PM though you just felt exhausted.

You try to relax yourself, steady your breathing, then crawl under the covers and cuddle onto his pillow, something you always do when he's away.

"Goodnight M-Misha..." You mumbled and shut your eyes, though you couldn't stop your crying.

You'd just have to sleep with tears in your eyes.

*****

You woke up, muscles stiff and alarm blaring in your ears. You forgot to put your phone on your side table, it was placed on the pillow you were hugging.

You sat up and shut the alarm off in disgust, then looked around.

The hosue was silent, there was-

No, someone was talking... giggling actually.

You got up and stretched your arms then put on some slippers to correct your feet from the cold floor. You walked to your daughter's bedroom, you were sure that it was her giggling.

You knocked on the door and peeked in, "[y/d/n]?" You watched her sitting on her bed with knees pulled up and staring at her phone with a smile, "What are you doing?"

You rubbed your face and she laughed. You thought she had done it to you but when she was still looking to her phone you shrugged the thought off.

"Dad's doing a livestream! Uncle Jared and Uncle Jensen are there too," Your 11 year old told you then frowned, "Mom are you okay?"

You nodded slowly and shut you eyes, "Why is he doing it so early?" Your daughter tilted her head with confusion, "Mom it's 12 pm. You didn't wake up with your 9 am one and I thought you'd needed the sleep so I put another one for now."

You smiled slightly then sighed, "Did you have breakfast?" She nodded then you walked towards the kitchen, in dire need for a cup of coffee.

While that prepared you sat on a kitchen stool by the island and times into your husband's live stream.

"... And Jensen can't stand me acting like that so I have to improvise," He smirked at his friend then Jared laughed. "So you pay us back for all the pranks we do huh?" Jared commented and Misha frowned.

"Yes of course, you guys are brutal," He said with annoyance, "It hurts me right in the heart." He wiped a fake tear off his cheek, "Now at least we have Alex so the attention is divided."

You smiled softly, staring at your husband, seeing him on screen helped a bit to ease-

You shifted your gaze to your hand all of a sudden. There was a tear drop on it. Were you crying?

You looked up, your eyes moistened with tears. The thought of him being away for another two weeks then going on to attending conventions... You broke down.

He's having such a great time, being happy and enjoying the company of other people while you're stuck at home with no one around most of the time.

Your daughter goes to school then sometimes has extracurricular so she stays back. She goes to the neighbours for studying and hanging out and your house literally only homes you.

You sleep alone, You eat alone... You're living alone for months and every time he comes over, even after being away for so long, you're not that happy because he has to go after a few days, leaving you lonely once again.

Tears streamed down your face, you continued to stare at the same spot on the island thinking of some way to stop your misery.

"H-He doesn't even have t-time to talk anymore..." You mumbled to yourself and took a deep breath. You covered your face with your hands, sobbing-

"Mom... mom?!" Your daughter came into the kitchen and wrapped her arm around you, "Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

You sniffed a little then forced a smile on your face, "I'm f-fine sweetheart, it's just..." You felt another way of tears and bit the inside of your cheek.

You got up from your seat and exited the kitchen. "Mom please tell me what's wrong!" Your daughter wanted to help but you shook your head.

"I'm fine h-honey, honestly," You said and walked to your washroom, locking yourself inside and crying to yourself till you felt fine again.

Your daughter stood there, concerned for her mother. You're always have a smile on your face and without it, it just made [y/d/n] worried.

She thought of an idea.

She rushed to her bedroom and shut the door. She walked over to her bed and sat, taking her phone and dialing her father's number.

Anxiously waiting for the phone to pick-

"Hello?"

"Hi daddy it's [y/n]."

"Hey Angel! What's up?"

"Dad this is serious, it's about mom-"

"What happened? Is she hurt?!"

"No no, I'm not exactly sure but I'm ninety percent certain of it," Your daughter told, "She was crying today, I think it's because you're away. I tried to talk to her but she didn't tell me anything."

Silence. No one spoke. Your daughter waited for her father to speak but Misha refrained from talking.

"Dad?"

"Y-Yeah sorry... Is she alright now? Where is she?"

Your daughter walked to her door and opened it a bit. The whole hosue was completely quiet.

"I think she's in your bedroom, maybe the bathroom."

"Okay let me call her. I'll talk to her," Misha informed and ran a hand through his hair, "Thanks for telling me sweetheart. Everything else going okay? How's school?"

"Yeah school's alright, just coping," Your daughter answered then paused, "Um Daddy?"

"Yeah Angel?"

"Please come home soon, I-I miss you too," She requested and her father smiled slightly.

"I'll do what I can, just for you and Mom," He said then said goodbye.

*****

You opened the bathroom door after you washed your face then tied your hair up. You took a deep breath then walked out, deciding to change your clothes to something fresh, to make your mood better.

TRRIIIINNNNGG!

You looked to the phone, it was Misha.

You dived to your phone and answered the call, quickly putting it to your ear. "H-Honey?" You said.

"Hi baby, I thought I'd call you. I'm free for a couple of hours," He told and you could feel your heart thumping faster, "How are you doing?"

"I'm... I'm fine."

"Really? Because a little bird told me somebody needs a frown turned upside down," He said in a tone that you'd use to talk to children and you but your lip, "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"N-Nothing I'm..."You felt your eyes grow teary, "I just... I miss you okay?! I just want you with me."

And you started to cry again, but you didn't try to stop yourself. You just had to get everything out and let your love know how you're feeling.

"I can't st-stand it everyday. You're away for months and I'm stuck here all alone. [y/d/n] goes to school and has work and I'm just tired of being on my own. I talk to myself all day and I just-I'm being selfish, I want you here by my side," You cried out and he listened quietly.

"Sweetheart you can call everyday, I'll talk to you all the time-"

"No you won't! You're busy with your conventions and being with fans, it's like you don't care about your real family Misha!" You sort of scolded him, "I married you and I thought we'd be happy living together, being annoyed with each other's presence and loving the other till the end. Now I don't even feel like I have a husband."

"Honey please-"

"I try talking to you but you say you have work. You're gone for half of the year for shooting then you go for conventions. What am I supposed to do?!"

"Hey I'm trying my best, what I'm doing right now I'm going for you and [y/d/n]. Nothing other than you two matter to me," He said with a stiff tone, "I love you both more than I love myself alright? So don't tell me I don't care. I have a job to do and I'd give anything to be by you right now."

"I'm hurting okay... it's hurting me that I literally haven't seen you in months," His voice started to crack, "I haven't taken my baby girl to school, I havent played soccer with her. We do that every evening. I can't believe I haven't felt you in months, your cosy hugs and the way you run your fingers through my hair in the morning. The way you watch me cook on the weekends or when we sit on the couch on Friday night's while the TV's running something but I don't care. As long as I know that you're beside me, I can kiss you whenever I want and I know that when I wake up you're the first thing I'll see... I'm happy. But that doesn't happen these days."

He paused take a breath.

"So don't ever say I don't give a damn about you two because without you I wouldn't have a life worth living," He said and you cried hard,wiping your tear-stained cheeks.

You heard him sniff a few times and you just felt the urge to give him a hug.

But you couldn't.

"I'm always here for you, I will always be whenever you need me," He told, "And I promise now that I will talk to you on the phone everyday. It'll make me feel better too."

There was a long pause of silence. You both continued to hear each other's sniffing.

"Keep an eye on the mailbox for the next few days. Something will be delivered okay?" Misha said all of a sudden and you nodded, even though he couldn't see you.

"O-Okay..." You said.

*****

Two days later, the weekend...

You did exactly as he instructed you. You checked your mailbox when you dropped your daughter to school, when you went to the store, when you picked her up. Sometimes you'd have a cup of coffee and stare out the window, waiting for something to arrive.

But then one morning, when you were least expecting it, you looked into your mailbox and found something inside.

Right outside on the street, you opened up the sealed envelope from some travel agency, anxiety rising inside you. You were excited but at the same time full of nerves.

You looked at what the envelope held and squealed in happiness. You ran to your house and hastened to the kitchen where your daughter was having cereal.

"LOOK WHAT DAD SENT US!" You showed her the envelope and she smiled widely. "Is this real?! NO WAY!" She stood up and hugged you tightly.

"YES, we're going to Vancouver to see daddy next week!"