One Hell Of A P.A.
"Run-in with a giant fan. Same thing happened to an electrician back in '66, a guy named Billy Beard." Sam said as we watch the police examine the crime scene where Jay, another worker here, was killed by a giant fan.
"What the hell, guys?" Dean asked and I shrug as Sam said. "I don't know. Doesn't seem like Elise this time, either. It's not her M.O."
"No, we already torched her. So, what, are we dealing with another ghost?" I asked. "Maybe." Sam said. "Yeah, but these things don't usually tag-team." Dean said.
Outside in the lot, McG, who had been running this whole production, gathers the cast and crew, including me and the boys. "Everybody! Gather around, okay! I've got an announcement to make." He said as he hands his car keys to a P.A. "Hold that for me." He said then he turns to the rest of us.
"Everyone! Huddle in! In light of Jay's accident last night, and in cooperation with the authorities, we're shutting down production for a few days. I know, I know. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. We've had a few setbacks this week. But we all know what Jay and Brad wanted more than anything. And that was to see Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning on screens all across America! Now, we owe it to them to go on, and to pull together and make this damn movie, huh?" He said and there were cheers and applause from the crowd.
"But – but but but not today. Go home. Someone will call you." McG said and everyone disperse.
Sam and I were back inside of the trailer, watching more of the dailies. "Wendy" was reading in Latin when she is interrupted by "Kendra". "Wendy, don't." She said. "What are you, afraid of ghosts? Come on, it'll be fun." Wendy said as Dean enters.
"Hey." He said. "Hey." Sam and I greet and I look up at Dean. "So, you find out where the electrician's buried?" I asked him. "He wasn't. Billy Beard was cremated." Dean replied. "Great. Now what?" Sam asked, exasperated.
"No idea. Any more ghost cameos in the dailies?" Dean asked us. "Not in the first six hours. You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie 'cause they think it sucks. 'Cause, I mean, it kind of does." Sam said and I shrug. "Maybe." I said.
"Come on, it'll be fun." Wendy said and she continues reading in Latin. Suddenly, Sam rewinds then tape as be sits up and listens closer to the Latin. "Listen to the invocation." Sam said and we listen. "Guys, that's the real deal – a necromantic summoning ritual. What the hell is that doing in a Hollywood movie?" Sam asked us.
We make our way back to the studio and go to the office of Marty, who is the writer of the film. We walk up to the doorway and see him talking on his phone and he noticed us. "All right. Cool." He said and he hangs up.
"Guys, we're all shut down. What are you still doing here?" He asked us. "Yeah, um, well, is...sorry, man. We–we–we couldn't help ourselves. We just had to tell you that we read the script." Sam said to him.
"And?" Marty asked us. "Yeah. It's – uh – it's awesome." I said, nodding. "Awesome." Dean said. "Really awesome." Sam said and Marty smiles at the flattery. "I know, it's pretty rockin', right? I'm glad you guys liked it." He said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really liked, uh, all the attention to detail." Sam said. "Dude, right on, that's my thing. I mean, you know, color me guilty, but that is me. I'm, I'm, I'm a total detail buff." Marty boasts. "No, I can tell. I mean, the way you worked in all those, all those Enochian summoning rituals and all the authentic language." Sam said and Marty's smile fades.
"What, you mean that Latin crap? No, man, that's Walter. Walter Dixon, the original writer. You like that garbage?" He asked and Dean stares at him. "Wait, Walter the P.A. Walter?" Dean asked. "No, he's not a P.A. He's got a clause in his contract that allows him to come on set." Marty said.
"But he wrote the invocations?" I asked. "He wrote a whack-job screenplay. There's no pace, there's no love interest, it's all wackadoo exposition. I had to cut, like, ninety percent of it to make it readable, the other ten percent to make it good." Marty said and the boys and I laugh.
Later, we read Walter's screenplay, Lord of the Dead. "Should've kept Walter's original script. It's actually pretty good." Dean said as I nod. "Yeah. And it reads like a how-to manual of conjuration, like a textbook on how to summon ghosts and get them to do whatever you want." Sam said. "Yeah, like kill people." I remarked
"Yep. So, let's say somewhere down the line, Walter learned some pretty black magic." Sam said. "Yeah. And let's say he's pissed at these people for wrecking his movie." Dean adds. "Motive and means." I said. "It's worth checking out." Dean said and we nod.
We make our way back to the studio and hear the giant fan on and someone screaming. "Oh, oh, oh. Oh, God! Walter!" Marty's voice shouts as we run. "Now you're gonna find out what being a ghost is really like." Another voice, which had to be Walter, shouts, angrily. We make it over and see Marty being dragged by a ghost. "Walter, please! Walter, help me! Heeeeeee–" Marty screams but Dean and I pull out our guns and shoot the ghost while Sam turns off the fan.
"You are one hell of a P.A." Marty said to Dean. "Yeah, I know." Dean said while Walter looks at us. "What are you doing?" He asked. "I could ask you the same thing, Walter." Sam said then Walter begins climbing up the stairs to the scaffolding.
"Raising these spirits from the dead? Making them murder for you? That's playing with fire, Walter." I shouted at him. "You don't understand." Walter yells back at us. "You know what? You're right, we don't understand." Sam said.
"Just...wait, look. You put your heart and soul into something, years of hard work. It's years, and then they take it! And they crap all over it!" Walter said.
Dean looks at Marty who shakes his head like Walter doesn't know what he's talking about. "And then – and then they want you to smile and say, Thank you." Walter exclaims. "Walter, listen. It's just a movie. That's it." Sam said to him and he scoffs. "Look...I've got nothing against you, man. You're not part of this. Just please, please, just leave. But Martin's gotta stay." Walter said.
"Sorry, can't do that. It's not that we like him or anything, it's...just a matter of principle." Dean said. "Then I'm sorry, too." Walter said and he raises the talisman again. "Walter. Walter, pl- Don't." I said and Walter begins chanting. The set begins to shake, and three ghosts appear.
"Guys!" Dean shouts and he and I raise our shotguns. The ghosts, all of whom are mangled in some way, begin walking closer. "Come on, come on!" I said.
Suddenly, they disappear then, out of nowhere, Sam is knocked to the floor. Dean and I help Sam up. "Come on, come on! Move!" Dean yells as the three of us and Marty begin running away while the lights on set begin shorting out, lots of sparks flying.
The four of us run into another building and shut the door behind us and Dean and I reload our guns. "Come out to the coast! We'll get together, have a few laughs!" Dean said, quoting Die Hard, and I chuckle a bit.
Then we turn around and realized that the building we entered is actually just the set for the abandoned house. It's completely open on the other wall – we hadn't actually reached any real shelter. "Oh, man!" I said, exasperated. "I can't believe this. Ghosts are real!" Marty exclaims, fearfully.
"What makes you say that?" Dean asked with sarcasm as we look around, ready to fight. "But I don't understand. How is Walter controlling them?" Marty asked. "Probably that talisman." Sam said and he takes out his cell phone.
"What are you doing?" Marty asked him. "I mean, if film cameras pick these suckers up, then...maybe, uh..." Sam said and he uses his cell phone camera to scan the room. "Guys! Right there!" Sam shouts as he points ahead and Dean and I shoot.
"Got him." Sam said then he scans again the points at another part of the room. "Hey! Right there!" He said and we shoot again. Then I notice Walter walking around the upper level. "Uh, boys?" I said as I gesutre up and Sam hands his phone to Marty.
"Here, you get the idea?" Sam asked and Marty nods. "All right, you hold them off. (Y/n) and I will go after Walter." Sam said and I nod and we leave the set and make our way out.
Walter tries to leave the set through the back exit but comes face-to-face with me and Sam. "It's over, Walter. Now give it to us." Sam orders but then Walter throws the talisman on the ground, shattering it. "There! Okay, now no one can have it." He shouts as Sam and I stare at the broken talisman in shock.
"I wouldn't have done that if I were you." I said to him. "Oh, yeah?" Walter said. "Yeah." Sam and I said. "And why not?" Walter asked. "Because you just freed them. We can't stop them now." Sam said. "Walter, you brought them back, forced them to murder. They're not gonna be very happy with you." I said, warningly, just as Marty and Dean joins us.
"Yeah? So, why not?" Walter asked us. Suddenly, he falls to the ground and begins screaming in pain, blood seeping through his clothing. Marty holds up the phone and I look over and see that the ghost were tearing Walter apart.
Later, Sam, Marty and I were sitting by the sidelines watching them film the movie. And Marty got the bright idea to take the idea of using phones to see ghost and the other person shoots the ghost. "Cut! Oh, print that one. That's in the movie! Oh! Loved it, kids. Loved it." McG exclaimed with enthusiasm once the scene was over.
"You find out there's an afterlife, and this is what you do with it?" Sam asked Marty, after eyeing him. Marty looks up from his phone and grins at us. "I needed a little jazz on the page." He said and I rolled my eyes at him and we walk off.
Sam and I were walking among the trailers when one of the trailers door opens and Dean comes out, clearly disheveled. He smirks as Tara comes outside as well, wearing a robe. "You're one hell of a P.A." she said, smiling. "Thank you." Dean said and I glared at him and growled under my breath.
Then Tara looks at us. "Hi." She greets while Sam looks at this awkward. I walk past Dean and grab his arm. "Let's go,.loverboy." I grumbled and the three of us walk away and towards a painted sunset, which the crew rolls away.
"God, I love this town." Dean said, smiling, and I rolled my eyes again as we head over to the car.
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